Anonymous "Dear Neighbor" letter

[rt2dz]

OK, I’ll give my thoughts.

I’ve had three sets on neighbors on my left that do not take care of their yard. Drives me batty. Their lawn problems become my lawn problems. They get diseases they don’t treat and my yard gets them; I actually lost my entire front lawn because of it. Talk about a budget buster. Their weeds become my weeds. They don’t water, so it gets sucked from my yard. I get the cinch bugs. I have to water extra. I have to treat and water their yard costing me money and time. Quite frankly, if you can’t take care of the yard or afford to pay someone else to, why did you buy a house with a yard? Why not get a townhome, a condo or at least a patio home with very little yard? Or stay in an apartment?

I do not write anonymous letters. I do not complain to the HOA (all of which are violations). I do not complain to other neighbors. Usually, they are very nice people, just lousy gardeners. But it does bug me. I moved into a neighborhood that is supposed to be well maintained; we all get the covenants before we purchase. I’d like to keep the value of my house as high as possible. Granted, my complaints aren’t with people who have yard problems and are trying or a temporary fall behind (illness/injury/vacation/extra busy week), but those that out and out don’t care.

The OP obviously has temporary issues and can’t help it and it doesn’t even sound that bad. I don’t blame her, but in general, I don’t blame the neighbor either. Perhaps they have neighbors like I have/had. New neighbors are coming into that house in June… We’ve got our fingers crossed. Anyhow, OP, ignore it and move on. You know you.

Oh, and I could care less if you park in the street. Just don’t block my mailbox because the lazy mailman won’t deliver if you do!

 

[Ohiomomof2]

I would probably copy the letter and add the details as to your priorities and why and that you would welcome any help and you never meant to cause your neighbors any distress concerning your yard. I would address it to "Our neighbor that sent this to my family anonymously that we didn't mean to offend"

Then I would approach all your neighbors with a copy and explain that since you didn't know who sent it the original letter you wanted to make sure everyone understands you meant no offense. That would probably stop the original letter witter.

 

[a1tinkfans]

LIFE is too short to get aggravated by this.

I am at the bottom of a hill and my LOVELY neighbor blows all 1/2 acre of leaves in the street, GUESS where they go??? You guessed it, well after cleaning it up three times to date this year, I called in a lawn company, estimate $500.00,
H E L L O....are they nuts??? ( and i use this same lawn service for weekly cuts)
Needless to say I have now bagged about 50 huge bags, actually 10 earlier today and I say, WHATEVER people, I am doing the very best I can. Personally I wish everyone would just be thoughtful enough to think about their neighbors and do what they can. I'd love to leave a note, it'd say ARE YOU FOR REAL??
But seriously, I have a neighbor that has the fire hydrant on the front lawn COMPLETELY covered by ivy, You see about 4" of it, I know its against the law but I will NOT be the one to point that out, hopefully no one will need to use it, IF they can find it in a month.....
There are so many more important things to worry about...
To the OP: Good Luck in the neighborhood, sounds like you'll need it!

 

[englishteacha]

What on earth does it mean to "edge" a lawn, anyway? Ignore those spiteful neighbors.

 

[Solomonsmom81]

you can get old toilet and put it in the yard with a sign that says
suggestion box.
who cares what some little weasel thinks, especially when they haven't got the guts to tell you who they are. if they think it looks so bad they can ante up for it to get done or do it themselves.

bahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahha DO IT!!!!

 

[luvmy3]

OK, I’ll give my thoughts.

I’ve had three sets on neighbors on my left that do not take care of their yard. Drives me batty. Their lawn problems become my lawn problems. They get diseases they don’t treat and my yard gets them; I actually lost my entire front lawn because of it. Talk about a budget buster. Their weeds become my weeds. They don’t water, so it gets sucked from my yard. I get the cinch bugs. I have to water extra. I have to treat and water their yard costing me money and time. Quite frankly, if you can’t take care of the yard or afford to pay someone else to, why did you buy a house with a yard? Why not get a townhome, a condo or at least a patio home with very little yard? Or stay in an apartment?

So people that can't afford the $1000 a year to take care of their grass shouldn't buy a home with a yard? Are you serious?
We treat our lawn and its on eof the best ones on our street. Our next door neighbors do absolutely nothing totheirs, its not even grass its just weeds. Does it bother me, no why the heck should it. They can do whatever they want with their little piece of the earth
I'm sorry but if you have such problems with your neighbors choice to do what they please with their land then it should be you who should be the one living elsewhere, where you have no neighbors.


OP- Don't stress over it, there are way more important things than a beautiful lawn.

 

[Mickeyorbust]

We must live in the same neighborhood. We have a busybody that leaves little notes when things aren't up to her standards. We call her "the Mayor" of our neighborhood. Most likely the anonymous neighbor is irritating others in your neighborhood too, as in ours. Our "Mayor" left nice little notes on our mailboxes until someone complained...she was reprimanded by the USPS.

 

[peanut12392]

We sometimes have trouble keeping up with the yard. Ours kids are busy, and we never miss anything they are in, so sometimes the lawn suffers. My FIL once said to me "you're raising KIDS, not grass," and I've never forgotten that. Two of DDs close friends (15 and 16) were killed in an outo accident this weekend, and I know that I will never ever look back and wish I had taken better care of the lawn!!!

 

[everylastbreath]

Ok, I have to throw my 2 cents in..... tried to resist, but I can't do it any longer.

I agree your lawn if your business, if you want to grow it 10 feet high go right ahead, no ones business, but when your jungle becomes my problem, then take care of it... As long as it stays on your side of the fence, whatever. Right now I have a neighbor behind me that has a jungle that I have been dealing with for years, overgrown trees that drop berries, a tree that is pushing (and breaking a section) of a brand new fence I put up a few years ago (PVC, pretty expensive), poison Ivy that I've tried to kill for years, but have no luck because the mother of all roots is on his side. I have sent my landscaper over to offer to take down trees (at my cost) and he does not answer the door. Yeah he's a winner. Neigbor on the otherside, has a bush that is presently pulling up part of my driveway, had a huge bush that I paid to have it trimmed because it dropped thorny leaves all over my yard.

I have no problem with you keeping your yard as you like but keep it on your side of the fence....

 

[Taja]

What on earth does it mean to "edge" a lawn, anyway? Ignore those spiteful neighbors.

It's creating a clean edge between the grass and pavement or other hardscape with a sharp instrument.

My father used a very large knife at one time to edge our front yard when I was young. We couldn't afford an edger and he couldn't stand it looking messy! He worked 2.5 jobs (80+ hours weekly) and still managed to edge the lawn manually. I have no idea how he did it--I'm a wimp in comparison!

 

[bumbershoot]

You can put up a sign saying "welcome in our English garden" (because IMO, "English garden" is a beautiful word meaning tall grass and a bunch of weeds! )

Love that idea!!!!!

 

[dogluva]

So people that can't afford the $1000 a year to take care of their grass shouldn't buy a home with a yard? Are you serious?
We treat our lawn and its on eof the best ones on our street. Our next door neighbors do absolutely nothing totheirs, its not even grass its just weeds. Does it bother me, no why the heck should it. They can do whatever they want with their little piece of the earth
I'm sorry but if you have such problems with your neighbors choice to do what they please with their land then it should be you who should be the one living elsewhere, where you have no neighbors.


OP- Don't stress over it, there are way more important things than a beautiful lawn.

I was wondering that. Thankfully, my husband does all the yard work but if he left me, or God forbid, passed away, should I move to an apartment with my six kids? SOrry, my yard would be full of weeds and need mowing a lot but at least they would be ablet to play on it and have fun.

 

[Dashzap]

Yup, we've gotten anonymous letters from "Concerned Arborist" when there was a drought a few years ago and we didn't water our trees. Of course, we were away for 7 weeks but whatever....

I had my suspicions who the Concerned Arborist was, and teased said Concerned Arborist's husband. He didn't say anything but boy those guys from irish backgrounds sure can blush bright red, can't they?

 

[brenalexacamp]

i would put a pink flamingo on the front lawn!

ignore them- they have way too much time-and no matter what you do- it will never be enough for them

don't go in hock to keep up-vacations and experiences are more important than paying hunks of money to have grass you cannot walk on!

 

[jennykay]

You must live in my neighborhood. Most of the moms are SAHMs (nothing against that) so they have lots of time to pay special attention to each weed in their garden. I work at least 50 hours a week (as does my DH) and sometimes I have to travel for work and be away for weeks at a time. We are lucky if we get the lawn mowed each week (in between the rain) and keep the weeds from overtaking the grass. Hanging baskets are the extent of my gardening lately.

Our next door neighbors actually build a planter box and planted a tomatoe plant in our yard last year because they felt our kids were missing out not having a garden. WTH At our old house we had a huge garden. We found it was cheaper to buy fresh vegetables at the store than pay the high cost of watering the garden during the hot summer months. Our kids aren't missing anything. This is coming from the mom who can't keep her laundry done or make a dinner at home (her husband has to do all the cooking). And if that is ok with them, it is ok with me. I don't care about their laundry or who cooks dinner, but don't lecture me about not having a garden!

People should just stay out of others' business. You spend your time the way you need to, which is on the priorities you set. If the neighbor is so concerned, let them mow and trim for you. That's what being a true neighbor is about. Let that letter just role off your back!

I've been a (mostly) SAHM for 7 years now and I have NEVER had time to pay special attention to every weed lol! Or maybe I don't care about that... And I've never been able to really grow anything. I have a black thumb, it seems. But I do so love homegrown tomatoes! Maybe someday I'll get to have a ridiculously judgemental neighbor who will grow me a tomato plant, too! (totally joking - I'd be soo mad!!! But I think I might still eat those tomatoes...)

So people that can't afford the $1000 a year to take care of their grass shouldn't buy a home with a yard? Are you serious?
We treat our lawn and its on eof the best ones on our street. Our next door neighbors do absolutely nothing totheirs, its not even grass its just weeds. Does it bother me, no why the heck should it. They can do whatever they want with their little piece of the earth
I'm sorry but if you have such problems with your neighbors choice to do what they please with their land then it should be you who should be the one living elsewhere, where you have no neighbors.


OP- Don't stress over it, there are way more important things than a beautiful lawn.

AGREED! and that is why I won't move somewhere that I have to sign a covenant like the pp did. HOA's are fine but not for me!! but as I said, I don't really care about my weeds that much! So far has not been a problem...we'll see!

If this was truly sent by a neighbor, then I agree... ignore it. That's totally tacky.

But -- I was just going to offer another thought -- especially since the letter was sent to "Dear Neighbor," not "Dear Bob and Cindy" or "Dear Smith Family."

Is it possible it's a marketing thing? I got a note a couple of years ago from an anonymous "friend" who told me that there were lots of good weight loss programs out there and she thought I could use one. (I am not super-skinny, but I'm not overweight either.) I was shocked and somewhat devastated. Lo and behold, a few days later I got a call from a weight loss program who said that a "friend" had referred me. I demanded to know which friend... and I wasn't very nice about it. After a while the caller acknowledged that there was no "friend," that was just part of their marketing script. I am almost positive that the note was from the same company -- a one/two marketing punch.

I don't know how that explains the car in the cul-de-sac, but is it possible it was push to get you to purchase landscaping services? Still totally tacky, but it might make you feel slightly better about your neighbors. (Good luck to you, by the way -- and with your husbands recovery.)

this would have killed me! that's not about your yard, it's about your body! what a violation! and BTW if that's you in your avatar, yes you are skinny!!

OP, I hate that you are having to deal with nasty people at such a difficult time. This is either a bully neighbor, who is unwilling to confront or help you but just wants to intimidate. And shame on them if it is! Seems like they could have met you and talked to you before they passed judgement! OR it's a bully company (this is what it sounds like to me, but who knows) that wants to guilt you into hiring them. Completely unprofessional IMO. Either way, they have to sleep with themselves at night. You just keep doing things the way you are and as long as YOU can sleep at night, forget 'em! Easier said than done, I know, but hopefully venting here has helped!

 

[surfergirl602]

OMG - I would be livid as well. Some people just doin't have enough of their own business I guess!!! I really think you should convert to redneck-ism. Put some tires in the yard, prop the car up on blocks... let the grass grow so high that no one will know there's a house behind there. Oh, and chain a big dog out front by the mailbox, so no stupid nosey neighbors will be tempted to leave any more notes. Heck, it was probably the same negibors that left the note for the person with the garage.... stupid people....

 

[MrsPete]

This is kind of budget related since lawn care in my area is outrageously priced. I am so pi**ed right now I can't stand it. I received an anonymous letter today from a neighbor. It stated "As you know spring is here and it is time to clean up your yard. So please mow and get rid of the weeds, edge along the drive and sidewalk and flowerbeds. Be proud of your new home and considerate of those who live around you. Thank you." We just mowed our grass a week ago and our shrubs need to be trimmed and there are a couple, literally, of weeds in the flowerbeds. We have several rosebushes that just got to the point of needing to be trimmed back, but I haven't researched yet the best way to trim them. We have not bought a weedeater yet, our old one was stolen at our previous home. So we haven't edged as we don't have an edger either. My husband had a total hip replacement on March 31, he just went back to work after not working since the beginning of March, so we have really cut back on our spending. Add that to the fact that since his hip replacement he can't do much in the yard so all of the laundry and inside of the house is mine to do as well as the yard. He is now working at a commission only jobs so we still need to watch our spending. We recently received a flier from a neighbor who has a landscaping business and charge 150/month with a year contract and these are small yards. If this concerned letter writer had made an effort to get to know us since we moved into this home in October, they might know all of this and maybe would have offered to help out when my husband. We also have 4 children, which makes it difficult to spend a lot of time to have a perfect yard. I think we obviously moved into the snobbiest neighborhood in town. Another neighbor received a note on his car for parking in the cul-de-sac. "That is why you bought a house with a garage. Use it" UGGHHH. But my thing is, Yes I realize our yard could look better, and I see that every day. And we are working on it. But we have other issues, including my husband's recovery from his surgery, his change of jobs, child care issues, and my recent identity theft that are taking precedence. And our yard does not really look bad, and there are other homeowners who haven't edged their yards. I'm sure that the concerned neighbor let them know about it too....Well, just wanted to vent

Dang, if I wrote that rude letter, I wouldn't sign my name to it either.

 

[crisi]

So people that can't afford the $1000 a year to take care of their grass shouldn't buy a home with a yard? Are you serious?
We treat our lawn and its on eof the best ones on our street. Our next door neighbors do absolutely nothing totheirs, its not even grass its just weeds. Does it bother me, no why the heck should it. They can do whatever they want with their little piece of the earth
I'm sorry but if you have such problems with your neighbors choice to do what they please with their land then it should be you who should be the one living elsewhere, where you have no neighbors.


OP- Don't stress over it, there are way more important things than a beautiful lawn.

A bag of fertilizer + weed control costs $30 - and you can borrow a spreader from a neighbor - or one of those hand spreaders is $6. After that, mow and water. Edging your lawn costs a Saturday afternoon and an old knife.

I can see "I don't have time" or "I don't care" but "I don't have money" is really not a very good excuse. I'm not a lawn person myself, but the neighbors dandelions and creeping charlie quickly become the neighborhoods dandelions and creeping charlie.

 

[cats mom]

We sometimes have trouble keeping up with the yard. Ours kids are busy, and we never miss anything they are in, so sometimes the lawn suffers. My FIL once said to me "you're raising KIDS, not grass," and I've never forgotten that. Two of DDs close friends (15 and 16) were killed in an outo accident this weekend, and I know that I will never ever look back and wish I had taken better care of the lawn!!!

Hugs to your DD
Not an easy thing to deal with, especially at that age.

I really like the "Raising Kids, Not Grass" line.

 

[luvmy3]

A bag of fertilizer + weed control costs $30 - and you can borrow a spreader from a neighbor - or one of those hand spreaders is $6. After that, mow and water. Edging your lawn costs a Saturday afternoon and an old knife.

I can see "I don't have time" or "I don't care" but "I don't have money" is really not a very good excuse. I'm not a lawn person myself, but the neighbors dandelions and creeping charlie quickly become the neighborhoods dandelions and creeping charlie.

I was actually asking the question to a previous poster who stated that if you can't take care of your lawn or pay someone else to do it then you shouldn't buy a house with a lawn.
So $1000 is what I paid for 1 year of fertilizer and tick treatments and seeding. If I needed to pay someone to mow, it would be more. So people who may not have the time, may not have that kind of money to spend either.