annoyed w/DD's school - just need to vent

[surfergirl602]

So my DD8 comes home with a paper stating that instead of music class, they are doing a clown play. My DD got picked for a speaking part and a singing part, and she's terrified. She's very shy and does not like to sing to begin with. She talked to her teacher about it and he said she's stuck with it. She woke up in the middle of the night scared about it, worrying about it, so we've talked and will practice until she feels comfortable with it. I don't want her to quit just because she's afraid to do it, and to stick it out and feel accomplished, yada yada. What just bothers me, is that I got another note stating that all the kids needed clown costumes!! I have to go out and buy a funny clown costume with the wig, red nose, everything. Its annoying me, because its not like I have the money to just run out and buy a silly costume that she's going to wear once. The entire second grade is doing this, and they didn't even think to ask the parents about this? If they are being made to participate, as a class, and not as an elective, I don't feel I should have to buy a costume for this! I think I'll try and use one of her dance costumes as the base to try and save some money, but the nearest costume shop is an hours drive away. There's time and gas right there. So, not only is my DD scared to do this, I have to buy a costume, and find a way to get her to school at 7pm, (when my two youngest are in bed). ACK! Thanks for letting me vent. I am just annoyed today.

 

[Aliceacc]

Speaking as a teacher:

In this economy, schools should be aware that families don't have the money they had (or were perceived to have had) last year.

Sometimes teachers forget that families have a life beyond their little world.

Have you tried online for the costume? I just got some princess costumes here:

http://www.costumecraze.com/

 

[surfergirl602]

I need the costume in a few days - telling the parents that the kids needed costumes just a few days before the performance is really short notice, I think - so I just have to suck it up and deal and go waste gas and try to find one that she'll like. We just tried on some tutus and they are a bit small, so we'll see what we can find.

 

[mjkacmom]

My kids have had speaking/solo parts, but only because they volunteered. The music teacher asks who wants one, and they audition. I can't believe they'd force a child to sing and speak! Our spring musicale is a 50's theme, and they have to wear white shirts and jeans - not a problem. My dd12 is in the town play, and had to buy matching outfits with 2 other girls -$45.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

I agree that is a really lousy expectation to put on someone. My children's play "costumes" have always been easy things like a certain color shirt with a mask they made in class.

Could you do a "hobo" sort of clown, using clothes you already have? (mix plaids and dots, maybe shorts of dads {belted}, striped knee highs?) You can make face paint from cold cream (or crisco) and cornstarch + food coloring... add a funky hairdo (alot of pony tails or such?)

 

[powellrj]

Do you have a dance leotard? If so, wear the leotard, cut the tutu off the dance outfit, wear silly socks and make-up and you are good to go. If she has long hair, tease it and spray it for the clown hair.

My kids do lots of school drama and trust me, most of the costumes are homemade so you won't alone.

 

[java]

We just went to the Big Apple Circus here and I bought my sons clown noses- all they were are red small nerf balls- that the cut a slit through and it sticks onto your nose- it would be easy to make.

On hair - how about curling it if it's normally straight and putting it into 2 pony tails high on her head-

For Shoes- just tie on some pom poms *you can make them out of yarn. onto her laces.


And do the rest with makeup.

For the costume part I think a tutu would be cute on a clown! Be creative I bet you have everything at home to pull this off.

BUT I agree with you what a dumb idea to pull on parents, especially at this time.

Oh and you can easily make tutus here's how NO SEW!
http://www.ehow.com/how_2072479_nosew-tutu.html

 

[disykat]

I'm guessing the costume thing is a misunderstanding. I'm sure the teacher is not expecting everyone to BUY clown costumes. Did they say you needed to buy a costume? Wear something colorful, mix-matched, oversized, and/or silly, put on some face makeup and you're done.

example: bright colored tights, mismatched shoes, shorts, a big shirt of Dad's buttoned crookedly and belted with a colored scarf, bright red lipstick around mouth, dotted on nose, and on cheeks, and funky pigtails.

Have your dd ask what others are wearing or ask her teacher for clarification.

 

[surfergirl602]

My kids have had speaking/solo parts, but only because they volunteered. The music teacher asks who wants one, and they audition. I can't believe they'd force a child to sing and speak! Our spring musicale is a 50's theme, and they have to wear white shirts and jeans - not a problem. My dd12 is in the town play, and had to buy matching outfits with 2 other girls -$45.

No volunteering - it's just a little thing, not set, not a full blown production, just something to do instead of music class. They've only been working on it for two weeks.

 

[smkiya]

Could you do a "hobo" sort of clown, using clothes you already have? (mix plaids and dots, maybe shorts of dads {belted}, striped knee highs?) You can make face paint from cold cream (or crisco) and cornstarch + food coloring... add a funky hairdo (alot of pony tails or such?)

I was thinking the same thing. You can also use red lipstick for the the cheeks and the mouth. I wouldn't spend a dime. Use what you have, and if the school has a problem with it then tell them to buy the costume themselves.

In addition to the hobo, perhaps you can do a 'doll' clown, with a pretty dress, pigtails, big freckles, etc. using stuff you already have at home.

Finding things to put together, like a craft, may also help her get excited about performing. She could show her friends what she made, that ought to make her feel proud...

 

[disykat]

I have to add some thoughts because I'm just not getting how this is so horrible. I'm also not understanding the vibe I'm getting from the OP that this is something that is being done to avoid having to teach music.

Performing is PART of a music/arts curriculum. Many kids and parents look forward to this and remember musicals as a really positive experience - sometimes their BEST association with music and the arts in school.

In my experience, there would be a huge uproar if the music teacher DIDN'T do an annual music performance. Putting on one of these shows is a huge amount of work for the music teacher as well as being extra work for the classroom teacher. They are not something to do to keep from having to teach.

And yes, I teach music. I teach part time, but in the time leading up to a performance I spend almost double the amount of time at work.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It might be the push your dd needs to break out if her shell. Maybe the teacher sees that in her and is trying to help her confidence. It could end up being a great thing for her. As for the costume I would make something up from home. That is probably what the teacher meant.

 

[here757]

just a thought.. can you rent one?
wonder if it would be cheaper...
your right.. shes only gonna wear it once..

 

[WantToGoNow]

We had clown night at kids program at church a few weeks ago. My ds7 absolutely refused to participate but dd5 wanted a clown costume. Instead of going to a costume store I went to a party supply store and they had cheap costumes - I got hers for $9.99, a nose for $1.99 and I borrowed a red/white wig.

I wish my ds's school did plays/programs. He's in 2nd grade and there has yet to be any programs at all. My dd's preschool had one at Christmas and will be having another before school is out.

 

[design_mom]

My DS is also 8 (2nd grade) and has been part of several performances and/or had several public speaking assignments already.

I agree with the others who suggested that you could make a clown costume. I would look for an old sweat suit, leotard, or leggings/t-shirt. (Something she's nearly outgrown anyway)... Then I'd go to Walmart or the craft store and buy a bag of craft pompoms and some fabric glue, and I'd glue the pom-poms all over the outfit. Then I'd have her wear two different brightly colored socks, put her hair up in ponytails with colorful ribbons and call it a day.

For my son's last assignment, he had to give a "campaign speech" in front of the entire 2nd grade and all the parents who could attend. The teacher sent home a note suggesting that the boys wear "suits" during their presentation. My son doesn't own a suit. I asked the teacher about it (and apparently so did others). She hadn't expected anyone to go out and buy anything -- all she wanted was for them to "dress the part" so they'd feel more confident giving their speeches. Something from their closet was fine. For the record, only one boy wore a "suit" -- and it was a TUX!!! I don't think that's what the teacher had in mind.

 

[3boymthr]

I totally know where you are coming from. DS#2's teacher just sent home a project where they have to dress up as a famous figure from history - We got John Adams - Ack now I have to buy colonial clothes. Not happy.

I agree with PPs you definitely could make a costume. Fun and funky mismatched clothes.

If you're not creative that way call your local consignment shops or the salvation army type store. (We don't have a Salvation Army store but we have a St. Vincent de Pauls which is the same basic type of store- check your yellow pages.) It's amazing how much stuff like you need shows up in places like that. Last summer I went there and I was able to find the right items to make a 20's newsboy costume for DS#1 for his summer camp play for a total cost of about $5.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

I totally know where you are coming from. DS#2's teacher just sent home a project where they have to dress up as a famous figure from history - We got John Adams - Ack now I have to buy colonial clothes. Not happy.

We've done the colonial thing- DS was Samuel Adams (and no I didn't dress him as beer!)

The "recommended costume" for the boys were dark khakis/other solid pants. Tuck the cuffs into a pair of mens tube socks = look of short pants with knee socks. Dark shoes. White shirt with a suit jacket or vest (Goodwill or Dad's closet...) if they could. We topped DS's off with a leftover tricorner sort of pirate hat. GOOD ENOUGH!

 

[mjkacmom]

We've done the colonial thing- DS was Samuel Adams (and no I didn't dress him as beer!)

The "recommended costume" for the boys were dark khakis/other solid pants. Tuck the cuffs into a pair of mens tube socks = look of short pants with knee socks. Dark shoes. White shirt with a suit jacket or vest (Goodwill or Dad's closet...) if they could. We topped DS's off with a leftover tricorner sort of pirate hat. GOOD ENOUGH!

Marco Polo here!

 

[seashoreCM]

This is not a blanked recommendation.

There does exist the concept of "excessive expectations".

If there is so much extra work I would not feel bad if something else gave. Such as having your kid report to school without doing the arithmetic homework because he spent the previous evening singing and dancing and then got too tired, again explained in a written note.

You also need to think of whether you need to drive your kid to school so other kids on the school bus don't damage the costume.

One of the biggest reasons kids shy away from performing is bad things happening to them when they try. While it is impossible to avoid bad comments from classmates, anyone older including parents, teachers and principals should abide by, "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it".

For a kid who is shy to begin with, it can take a long time to get up his self confidence. You may want to consider commandeering a school day to work with him one on one for rehearsing.

 

[dismom2-3]

I once got upset at a similar situation, and asked the teacher about it. Her reply was that such short notice was given on purpose, so that parents "made do" and had the kids and parents had to be more creative with the costume rather than being a "fancier" or "who can out-do everyone" over the top costume. They DIDN'T WANT people spending a fortune. Honestly, in this particular case, the one with the fancy costume looked a little out of place. (sort of like the PP tux story)

I have shy children myself, and can understand your frustration, but honestly if it is a classroom lesson, and they are all given parts, your child is not being forced to do anything different anyone else, is she? Making sure that she knows that all of her friends are in the same boat may help.

ETA: I do see that she has a different part that others, maybe the teacher really has the confidence that she can do the part better than anybody else? Sometimes teachers may have a different perspective on our children, and push them a little to get the best out of them. Maybe that is why she won't let her out of it. She may feel that this is your daughter's chance to really shine.

To get back to the costume, I think making it may end up better than you think, and I think you could do miracles with craft foam. It has bright colors, and is very easy to work with. Make a cone hat with a huge pom-pom on the top, and glue different color circles on it. White craft foam could make a huge floppy collar and you even could make a fake squirting flower? This stuff is inexpensive, too. I agree to find a brightly colored dress or leggings is the way to go. Get your child to help you, it may end up being really fun!