Just my opinion but are you putting to much thinking into this?
We all want those dinners to be so special that I often go overboard.
What I learned at WDW is this: Go with your gut, choose a menu you like, don't worry about reviews and go. Haven't been disappointed yet with this plan of attack.
A word of caution of reviews...
All restaurants at WDW get good and bad ones. If you are around the boards long enough you see it come full circle.
So what I do is go with a menu I like, the foods I like and reserve that meal.
Take the reviews (even mine here I am about to give you on Ohana) with a grain of salt.
Now my take of Ohana. Love the food, It is unique and fun, very good too. Especially since I have learned to warn the server that I like my beef rare. Haven't had an issue of dried over done meat since. LOL
The atmosphere can be fun or loud, just depends on the night. If you get a seat by the window during Wishes...nothing is better.
Service can be EXTREMELY slow the later into the evening it gets, so we prepare for this now.
And that dessert, the bread pudding, nothing I mean NOTHING on WDW property is so good!!! And I hate bread pudding!!
So go where you really want, it will be special. Don't worry of others experiences, enjoy your family time and some good food!!!