LK...I'll get back to you....
*a conversation earlier today*
ME: Super Duper computer help. Can I help you?
Lars: Yes, thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ME: Mac?
Lars: No, the name's Lars.
ME: Your computer?
Lars: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ME: Mac?
Lars: I told you, my name's Lars.
ME: What about Windows?
Lars: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ME: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Lars: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
Me: Wallpaper.
Lars: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Me: Software for Windows?
Lars: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
Me: Office.
Lars: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Me: I just did.
Lars: You just did what?
Me: Recommended something.
Lars: You recommended something?
Me: Yes.
Lars: For my office?
Me: Yes.
Lars: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Me: Office.
Lars: Yes, for my office!
ME: I recommended Office with Windows.
Lars: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Me: Word.
Lars: What word?
Me: Word in Office.
Lars: The only word in office is office.
Me: The Word in Office for Windows.
Lars: Which word in office for windows?
Me: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
Lars: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Me: Yes, you want Real One.
Lars: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
Me: Real One.
Lars: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
Me: Of course.
Lars: Great! With what?
Me: Real One.
Lars: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
Me: You click the blue "1".
Lars: I click the blue one what?
Me: The blue "1".
Lars: Is that different from the blue w?
Me: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
Lars: What word?
Me: The Word in Office for Windows.
Lars: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
Me: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
Lars: It is?
Me: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
Lars: And that word is real one?
Me: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
Lars: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
Me: Money.
Lars: That's right. What do you have?
Me: Money.
Lars: I need money to track my money?
Me: It comes bundled with your computer
Lars: What's bundled with my computer?
Me: Money.
Lars: Money comes with my computer?
Me: Yes. No extra charge.
Lars: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Me: One copy.
Lars: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
Me: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
Lars: They can give you a license to copy money?
Me: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . . .
Me: Super Duper computer help. Can I help you?
Lars: How do I turn my computer off?
Me: Click on "START"...