Angelrose's Journey

[chell]

Angelrose please don't ever be sorry for being weepy. You have every right to be weepy. Have you thought about grief counseling? Hospice has such a wonderful program. They offer individual and group counseling. When you feel ready give them a call to schedule something, please. I'm sorry if this has already been brought up. All the people who work with hospice are so kind and gentle. They have such a special way about them.

You don't see it right now but you are such an amazing Lady. You are such an inspiration to many of us. I hope to be a fraction of the wonderful woman you are and I hope that Larry & I have the same type of relationship as you and your wonderful Ron. You two are such an inspiration.

 

[ToddyLu]

I was going through some papers and I found something that Ron wrote for me. I'd like to share these with you.

SWEET MARY

Smiles when I am sad

Holds my hand when I am scared

Reminds me of what I have forgotten

Helps clear up my mistakes

Helps when others try to take advantage of me

Gives me confidence

Helps me become a better person

Makes our house a cozy home

Has a great sense of humor

AND MOST IMPORTANT, Loves me with all my faults.


And this one.

There is no greater joy for two human souls, than to laugh together and to feel that they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of last parting. Ron has been blessed with this joy.

Oh my sweetheart. He did so love me.

We used this same qoute on the back of our wedding program 15 years ago. I thought it summed up marriage very well. There are certain people meant to be together and you and Ron and me and my Todd have lived by this example. I am sending you a prayer for a healing heart and lighter days ahead. I know you miss him very much. God Bless

 

[Angelrose]

Remembering Ron

The death of each of us is in the order of things. It follows life as surely as night follows day. We can take the tree of life as a symbol: The human race is the trunk and the branches of this tree, and individual men and women are the leaves, which appear one season. flourish for a summer, and then die. We too are like the leaves of this tree and one day we shall be torn off by a storm, or simply decay and fall off, and mingle with the earth at its roots. But while we live we are conscious of the tree's flowing sap and steadfast strength.

Deep down in our consciousness is the consciousness of a collective life, a life of which we are part, and to which we make a minute but unique contribution. When we die and fall, the tree remains, nourished to some small degree by our manifestation of life. Billions of leaves have preceded us and billions will follow us, but the tree itself grows and endures.

It has been my great joy to have enjoyed a long life filled with much beauty. Mary has done more than words can express by sharing this beauty with me and helping to lighten the challenges that occur in every life. My life has been enriched also by many people that I do not know personally who have created so much beautiful literature and so many artistic and/or useful objects.

 

[Angelrose]

I thought you would like to read that.

Today was a busy day. The kids came over around 8:30. We loaded all the trash and Ron clothes and went to the dump. The man that manages the dump lives down the road from us. He gave his condolences and said how much he was going to miss Ron. They used to talk all the time. When we got back Chuck went out to do some yard work and Karen and I played with Jesse. What a little angel he is. HMMMMMMM Let me rephrase that. What a little energy blast he is. He had us both going. And laughing. He had his naughty moments but overall he was your normal 2 year old. Except that he is just 19 months old.

After Chuck came in to take care of Jesse, Karen and I went over all the financial things. She still has to make some phone calls for me, but a lot of things were accomplished. Then she gave me all the prayer cards and things from the funeral. I will have to send out some thank you notes next week. She also gave me the last autograph book she made for me. I told her that maybe the next time they go, I would have enough money to go with them. She told me that they had talked it over and they want me to go this year. I will have enough money if we stay at an All Stars. At first I didn't think I could go but then I thought it would be harder to stay at home during those second two weeks in December. So I said yes. I know it will be hard on me to face our friends there and tell them about Ron. And it will be hard to see all the lights and beautiful things that made our trips so romantic. But I think that maybe Ron will be there with me anyway.

 

[chell]

Of course Ron will be there with you. He will always be with you everywhere you go.

What are the dates in December? If we do not have to change our vacation we will be there Dec 12 - 19. Will you be there then? If so and if we are there then I would love to meet you and give you a HUGE hug. But we may have to move our vacation to the first week of January.

 

[karensi]

Angelrose, I am so glad to hear that you are going to WDW with Ron,Karen and, of course Jesse.
After my DH died I thought I would no longer be traveling and going to WDW as we once did. I was fortunate enough though, like you, to be able to go with my family. And I am so glad that it has worked out like that for you also.
As you will see, now that you have an active toddler in your life, the trips to WDW will take on a new meaning. There is nothing better than to see Disney World through the eyes of a child that you love. Seeing that child laugh and believe in all the magic around you will make that trip something special.
I know it won't be the same as going with your DH, but it will be special in a different way.

Please don't change your mind now that you have said you will go.
I'm sure you will have a special (although different from when you were with Ron) trip.
It will also give you something to look forward to.


Karen

 

[Tuffcookie]

Angelrose,

My dad died suddenly in Dec of 2001 (heart attack). After the funeral and a month or two had gone by I insisted that Mom accompany youngest DS and me to WDW when we went in July 2002.

We stayed at the Poly and I made sure she was pampered!

Ron may be gone but you still have time to create alot of memories with your DS and his family! (Besides, can't you just hear Ron saying, "Go. Go!" ?)

TC

 

[Stac1023]

I think it is a wonderful idea. What are the dates you will be going? We are there nov 29th - Dec 6th.

 

[Angelrose]

It's funny that you should say don't change my mind about going, karensi. I've been rethinking all day today. But I just couldn't stay here all alone during December. It would be awful. At least with the kids I will be busy all the time there.

The plans are that we will be there December 11th through the 20. That's Chuck's birthday and we want to be there then. We will leave on the 21st.

That will mean that all through November I will be busy with the Christmas decorations. I do plan on decorating everything the way we did last year. Ron loved the decorations so much. I think that will be comforting.

I would love to meet you too chell. Hope you can be there in December.

 

[chell]

I would love to meet you too chell. Hope you can be there in December.

If we don't have to change our trip we must meet! We are waiting to hear back from my husband's instructor to see if we have to change our vacation. His job ended this past Friday, but he starts college this fall. When he registered for classes last week he found out that exams are the week of our vacation. He has sent his instructor a message asking if he could work on a special project in place of his exams. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it were just the two of us but this is a family vacation with my sisters, our two nephews, my dad and step-mother. I have no clue why I needed to tell you all that.

I really do want to meet you!

 

[zurgswife]

I just saw this thread...your love and marriage had me in tears. what a wonderful love story. I should pray to be that fortunate in my marriage....

I think spending time in Dec with your family at WDW is a wonderful idea.

 

[Iluvjiminy]

I just found this thread again and started reading where I left off. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with Ron with us. I only hope that I can find half of the love and happiness that you shared. I too am glad you're going to WDW with your son, DIL and grandson.
Keeping you in my thoughts.

Becky

 

[4nana]

Angelrose, I am so glad you are surrounded by your loving family, keeping busy and have something to look forward too and help plan. A trip to WDW with your family will really do your soul good! No better time to go than when all the decorations are up and the weather is nice! Not only will dear Ron will be with you in spirit, you'll get to make lots of new memories with your sweet little Jesse.

Sadly we lost my dear Dad 6 yrs ago , he and Mom had been married 56yrs. That fall for her BD I decided she needed a pick me up and invited her and my sister on their first cruise...Disney! I can't tell you how much we all enjoyed getting away and making special memories, her being pampered like a queen, reminiscing about Daddy, all the while knowing he was smiling upon us from above.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

It's funny that you should say don't change my mind about going, karensi. I've been rethinking all day today. But I just couldn't stay here all alone during December. It would be awful. At least with the kids I will be busy all the time there.

The plans are that we will be there December 11th through the 20. That's Chuck's birthday and we want to be there then. We will leave on the 21st.

That will mean that all through November I will be busy with the Christmas decorations. I do plan on decorating everything the way we did last year. Ron loved the decorations so much. I think that will be comforting.

I would love to meet you too chell. Hope you can be there in December.

We are going Dec 16 thru 22. It is such a wonderful time to go and was my mom's favortie, but I didn't know how I would go without her last Dec, except that my cousin had promised to take her children at the same time, so I ended up paying for all of us to go and while I spent a good bit of time mourning her, it did me good to be there enjoying things she loved to do, places she loved to eat and shop, and visitng the resorts she so loved. I cried when I felt the need and was lucky to have my Dh there to dry the tears or hide my face when I needed to.

On our last night, we always end our trip at MK, so on the way out, I stopped on Main Street and got one of the mylar Mickey/Minnie balloons, we went up by the Christmas tree and released it wiht a note I had written, me and my 10 year old cousin had a good cry and then went to the Confectionary for a few bags of some of her and our favorite candy.

Suzanne

 

[Angelrose]

I hope your DH can do that special project instead of the exams. It sounds like a great family vacation.

PrincessSuzanne maybe we can meet too. I think it would do my heart good to meet you and chell this trip.

 

[C.Ann]

I just found this thread again too..

I'm so sorry for your loss.. I will keep you and your family in my prayers..

 

[Angelrose]

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Today wasn't. I was trying to put away the pictures that we took out for the viewing. I can't seem to do it without falling apart. I was fine taking them out, but I just can't put them away. I finally got dressed and went to Walmart to get a few things. I forgot a few things because I didn't look at the list I brought with me! I stopped in Penneys and found a nice bathing suit that didn't make me look like a whale and got that and couldn't wait to get home. After lunch I tried again and I just cried and cried. I gave up and watched "Just Visiting" a movie about a knight that travels through time. It's a cute story. But at the very end they play the song "I got you babe" and the tears came again. I won't have him ever again. I don't know why the strangest things make me cry. I know Ron wouldn't want me to be sad all the time, but I can't help it.

Sorry I keep blubbering on here. I just need to type out my feelings I guess.

 

[sunnyday123]

keep typing, we're here for you!

 

[Hollyann]

I am an infrequent visitor to the community board - I'm sure you know that many prayers are with you - as are mine. I'm wishing you peace, strength and comfort. Your words about your Ron are very touching and I'm glad you were able to have such love.

Kindest Regards,
Ann

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

One day at a time, Angelrose. Glad to hear you are getting out and about. Leave the pictures to put away later. Or just do a couple at a time. Give yourself time and don't worry about "letting it out" when you feel like it.... whether that means venting on here or a good cry..... whatever it takes.

Someday I am going to get to Disney that second and third week of December so I finally get to meet you in person!


Take care of YOU!