Chapter 22: Captain vs. the Volcano
So youre suffering from a Brain Cloud too?
Good thing you brought those steamer trunks
Just wanted to announce that we are now officially under a Baby Watch. Julie is officially due on Feb. 5, but she was 2 weeks early with David and 3 weeks early with Scotty, so we're in that window when it could happen at any time. Feel free to send in your guesses as to the gender, birth date and time, weight, etc.
Couldnt even begin to come up with a rational guess, so Ill just offer up my wish and prayers for as smooth a delivery as possible and for another very healthy Oblivious child to grace the world.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.
There was a schedule?
They call it The Big Island for a reason.
Because they ran out of new combinations for the letters: A, E, H, I, K, L, M, N, O, P, U & W?
Our goal for the day was to explore Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. As the crow flies, its about 48 miles from the town of Kona. The only thing standing in the way is the most massive mountain in the world.
So Im guessing at this point that, not being crows, yall were going to have to travel just a might farther to reach that particular destination.
Well, that mountain was in between point A and point B for us. Theres no road over the top of the mountain.
Probably a good thing too
So you have to go around it. Which meant that our drive was going to be closer to 100 miles on a curvy 2-lane road cut into the sides of the mountain slopes.
Which is the unfortunate down side.
So
did the car rental agency have a rule forbiding you from driving their vehicle on this road as well?
Like it would have mattered
That rule was more like a guideline in the first place.
Thered better be something worthwhile at the other end. Like natural phenomena of a kind not normally witnessed in Delaware, for example.
Nor anywhere else in the Eastern US for that matter
the guidebook had made mention of a little hole-in-the-wall bakery called Coffees n Epicurea. And no, I have no idea what epicurea means and was too lazy to look it up. Im guessing its a euphemism for pot.
Means: good food and drink.
So technically, its a little bit redundant as used here.
And possibly a bit optimistic
This was the last stop before we left civilization
I dont know
sounds like youd already left civilization when you arrived here.
If you stopped by a bakery specializing in coffee and pastries at 7:00 in the morning, you wouldnt expect them to be fully stocked, would you?
My general rule is that if youre going to put a specific item in the name of the shop
you better be good at making that particular item in the first place.
But you do have a good story.
No breakfast to speak of, but a good story.
Keep in mind that we hadnt made a Costco run since we were only going to be on the island for 2 days. There was no PB&J or other snacks in the car.
Hummmmm
This does not bode well.
** queue subtly ominous background music**
With every mile, I reminded myself that Id have to do this drive again in the evening. So we had that going for us, which was nice.
Nice?
I think Id rather receive total consciousness on my death bed at this point.
But then again, if I ever get out there, Ill make the drive as well.
Just not with the inclusion of a stop at Coffees n Epicurea
Unfortunately, the part of the road that is closed includes the Halemaumau overlook, from which you can peer into the deepest part of the crater and actually see the lava pool. They did set up a webcam so you can see what it looks like, though. Heres the link:
http://hvo.wr.usgs.gov/cams/panorama.php?cam=HMcam
Very cool
Wish you could have seen it directly though.
I have to admit, its a little strange walking around and thinking about what might be happening underneath your feet.
You must have a single story house or youd have that unsettling thought every time you were upstairs and the youngens were downstairs.
** Queue shower scene music from Psycho **
Of course, this didnt prevent idiot tourists from tossing coins down into the vent.
I cant help it!
I was born that way
Nature has nothing similar to Scotty, though. He just happens.
And that is as it should be.
Ahemm
Im still here ya know.
Heres the entrance to the lava tube. Raise your hand if, like me, you expected a guy in a leather jacket and a fedora and a giant boulder to come rolling out of this cave at any moment.
** Hand Raised **
Good thiing you didnt chose the wrong friends.
At this point, it was still mid-morning and we had a lot more of the park to cover. And no snacks or lunch supplies in the car.
**Queue up dark ominous music **
Coming Up Next: Hikes! More hikes!
Sounds like youll be working up quit the apatite.
And did I mention that this park is in the middle of nowhere with few options for lunch available?
Yes
yes you did.
** Dark ominous swells to a fever pitch **
** Sudden cut to darkness and silence **
** silence**
** silence**
** more silence**
** Queue: Maniacal Laugh ** 
Darn you Andy Reid!
I'm guessing girl and I'm guessing she will come when we have bad weather. That's as far as I'm going. But its a girl. I just know it! 
to the nuthouse! How funny is it that you stumbled across us here?
