An Open Letter to my Cube Neighbor

[kwelch10377]

Dear Cube Neighbor,
We have worked together for over 3 years now and I feel like I need to get a few things off my chest:

I do not need to hear a running commentary of what you do throughout the day. I have enough trouble remembering to do everything I need to do without getting what you need to do mixed up in my thoughts.

You do not need to say to me everytime you walk away from your desk, "If anyone is looking for me I'm (fill in the blank)" You aren't that important so no one is looking for you and last I checked I wasn't your secretary. Also, no I don't know if your phone rang while you were away from your desk.

Why do you call out the persons name who sits across from us like 10 times. If they didn't answer the first time, they are either on the phone, not there or are trying to ignore you.

Please stop using your hand santizer every 5 minutes. I understand you are OCD, but my nose now has a permanent stinging sensation from smelling it all day long.

I don't need to hear about your lesbian love triangle all day long.

Please turn down your IPOD. It shouldn't be so loud that people have to shout your name when they come up to your cube and when you still don't hear them they tap you on the back. When they have to tap you on the back, you end up screaming because they scared you since you didn't hear them.

And finally, when you laugh you sound like Krusty the Clown and I am really not a fan of clowns.

Thank you for listening,
Your cube neighbor to the right

 

[threecrazykids]

This is awesome!

 

[Brit17]

...

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Dear Cube Neighbor,
We have worked together for over 3 years now and I feel like I need to get a few things off my chest:

I do not need to hear a running commentary of what you do throughout the day. I have enough trouble remembering to do everything I need to do without getting what you need to do mixed up in my thoughts.

You do not need to say to me everytime you walk away from your desk, "If anyone is looking for me I'm (fill in the blank)" You aren't that important so no one is looking for you and last I checked I wasn't your secretary. Also, no I don't know if your phone rang while you were away from your desk.

Why do you call out the persons name who sits across from us like 10 times. If they didn't answer the first time, they are either on the phone, not there or are trying to ignore you.

Please stop using your hand santizer every 5 minutes. I understand you are OCD, but my nose now has a permanent stinging sensation from smelling it all day long.

I don't need to hear about your lesbian love triangle all day long.

Please turn down your IPOD. It shouldn't be so loud that people have to shout your name when they come up to your cube and when you still don't hear them they tap you on the back. When they have to tap you on the back, you end up screaming because they scared you since you didn't hear them.

And finally, when you laugh you sound like Krusty the Clown and I am really not a fan of clowns.

Thank you for listening,
Your cube neighbor to the right

Does this person also sing along out loud to said iPod? If so, I do believe you are cube mates with my former coworker...

 

[clarabelle]

A Pirates Life
I remember your old co worker. The singer
So she left?

 

[PatsMom]

I love it!

I have a co-worker who constantly clears his throat. I mean really, really gross choking noises. We've tried to suggest that he talk to a doctor about it with no luck. It is good for my diet though. If he chokes during lunch, I lose all appetite.

And unfortunately he joins us for lunch sometimes. Besides the choking he has been known to blow his nose while we are eating.

I can also relate to the singing. We have two singers and unfortunately they don't even sing the same thing!

 

[kwelch10377]

Does this person also sing along out loud to said iPod? If so, I do believe you are cube mates with my former coworker...

She use to until I asked her to stop, now she just taps her hand on her desk to the beat of everything.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

A Pirates Life
I remember your old co worker. The singer
So she left?

Unfortunately, no. I was the one who got laid off a year ago. It's nice to be away from her, though

 

[SC Minnie]

I will add this to my coworker/cube mate---

I really don't care to hear your daily arguments with your fiance. I also don't care to hear all of your complaints to every place you go to trying to get something for free. These are personal phone calls. If you have to make one go to an empty conference room or outside.

 

[dislaney]

I thought the title said my cute neighbor. Boy was I wrong. My sympathies. I would hate to put up with all that too! She sounds very annoying.

 

[Missy1961]

When I read stuff like this, I realize how lucky I am--my cube neighbors do none of these things! and they are great co-workers too. Best bunch of people I've ever worked with.

 

[threecrazykids]

I have a co-worker who constantly clears his throat. I mean really, really gross choking noises. We've tried to suggest that he talk to a doctor about it with no luck. It is good for my diet though. If he chokes during lunch, I lose all appetite.

OMG, the guy who sits across the aisle from me does this ALL THE TIME! It's absolutely DISGUSTING.
He hacks this nasty crap out of the depths of his soul constantly. Bleh.

 

[kwelch10377]

Dear Cube Neighbor,

You just did something that I forgot to include in my original letter. Your hiccups are really annoying. The entire floor can hear them. I understand that you can't really control them, but they are obnoxiously loud. You say it just happens whenever you eat, well maybe it wouldn't happen if you didn't enhale your food.

Thank you and sorry for bothering you again with my rant,
Your cube neighbor to your right

 

[puffkin]

Please add to the list:

POUNDING on the keyboard. The lady across from me is the loudest, most obnoxious typer ever. I have a pounding headache every night when I leave. Everyone in the office comments on it, she is that loud.

Clipping nails at your desk. I had not one but TWO coworkers who did this (two different offices). Not just a quick clip of a hangnail or something....a full blown nail clipping. Gross!

 

[SingingMUA]

OP... I do feel for you. I'm dealing with a doozy of a neighbor myself, right now.

He thinks the right thing to do is to SHAVE at his desk before he leaves for a meeting.... every.time.he.has.an.offsite.meeting. Are you only able to shave before leaving home on days you DON'T have meetings??? Does your hair grow exceptionally fast on days that you have meetings with clients in anticipation of being able to leave the office for said meeting?

He also has the worst smelling feet known to man, and feels the need to call attention to that fact by spraying horrible, choking clouds of foot spray everyday that make his office look like a great fog has just rolled in off the Atlantic. :shudder:

 

[Heidict]

Please add to the list:

POUNDING on the keyboard. The lady across from me is the loudest, most obnoxious typer ever. I have a pounding headache every night when I leave. Everyone in the office comments on it, she is that loud.

Clipping nails at your desk. I had not one but TWO coworkers who did this (two different offices). Not just a quick clip of a hangnail or something....a full blown nail clipping. Gross!

I once had a cube mate that clipped her toenails at her desk.

 

[Evil Genius]

I feel for all of you! May I add two things to the list? Please don't eat or drink something that smells like open sewage and if you have the timer set on ipod, either silence it or take the thing with you. I don't want to hear it going off for the next 5 minutes while you are out wandering around the office.

 

[WriteDisney]

Can we add loudly chewing any type of food... alllll day long!

 

[PatsMom]

Please add to the list:

POUNDING on the keyboard. The lady across from me is the loudest, most obnoxious typer ever. I have a pounding headache every night when I leave. Everyone in the office comments on it, she is that loud.

Clipping nails at your desk. I had not one but TWO coworkers who did this (two different offices). Not just a quick clip of a hangnail or something....a full blown nail clipping. Gross!

I used to work with an engineer who clipped his nails during our weekly staff meeting. I remember announcing one week that if he started on his toenails, I was walking out!

 

[dawn1620]

Here is my cube neighbor from Hades:

She laughs so loud and all the time..usually when she is on one of her drawn out phone calls. But when she is not laughing she puts all her calls on speaker..and loudly.

She also eats like she is making love to her food...very loud and gross. She slurps on drinks and will suck..YES SUCK..all the water from her water bottle to the point it starts cracking.

Also, she has the worst gas...the smell has sent many people scrambling for fresh air many days. We've tried telling her about this and the phones..keeping noise to a level respectable for all around her and also went to management but nothing is ever resolved.

The light at the end of the tunnel is our whole building is being renovated so I will be able to move away from her once it's completed.