An Open Letter to my Cube Neighbor

[Kim&Chris]

OP... I do feel for you. I'm dealing with a doozy of a neighbor myself, right now.

He thinks the right thing to do is to SHAVE at his desk before he leaves for a meeting.... every.time.he.has.an.offsite.meeting. Are you only able to shave before leaving home on days you DON'T have meetings??? Does your hair grow exceptionally fast on days that you have meetings with clients in anticipation of being able to leave the office for said meeting?

He also has the worst smelling feet known to man, and feels the need to call attention to that fact by spraying horrible, choking clouds of foot spray everyday that make his office look like a great fog has just rolled in off the Atlantic. :shudder:

Whoa, this guy sounds like a huge PITA.

I've got a doozy also. Each and every phone conversation must be on his speakerphone. To top it off, he's hearing impaired, so the volume is turned up to the max. It's so loud that I have trouble hearing my own conversations!!

 

[Robinrs]

Wow, you guys bring me back!!

I once had a cube neighbor who CURSED every other word!! LOUDLY too!!! I was a contract worker and she was an employee who worked there for 15 years and everyone, including her boss, was afraid to deal with her.

My last straw was the day her dog got out of her backyard and someone called her to say she found the dog wandering in a major intersection. Instead of being grateful she literally CUSSED out the poor migrant worker who cut her grass for leaving the gate open (so she assumed) racist vitrol and all -- LOUD!!!

That was it, I had my area changed the next day. No way was I going to deal with that!

Now I have my own office so if anyone wants to make noises or cuss I don't have to hear it!!

 

[kwelch10377]

I think we all need to get together and write a book about the werid and annoying co-workers we deal with.

My co-worker just asked if anyone had a cough drop very loudly and mutiple times. No one answered, clearly meaning no one has one. She just shouted again, "No really guys I'm serious, do you have one". Um, do you think we are all being spiteful and denying you a cough drop. Geez if we had one we would give it to you so you would shut up already!

Some days I just put my IPOD on and deal with it, today is not one of those and I have these feeling that before the day is over I will end up shouting at her, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!

 

[Handbag Lady]

Please add to the list:

POUNDING on the keyboard. The lady across from me is the loudest, most obnoxious typer ever. I have a pounding headache every night when I leave. Everyone in the office comments on it, she is that loud.

Clipping nails at your desk. I had not one but TWO coworkers who did this (two different offices). Not just a quick clip of a hangnail or something....a full blown nail clipping. Gross!

Oh, jeez. I did this the other day. My nails grow very quickly and I had trouble typing. I quickly snipped them to get on with my day. NOW I'm feeling horrible about that. (But I did wait until the lady nearest me was away.)

I once had a cube mate that clipped her toenails at her desk.

Oh, no. I would NEVER do that! EW, ew, ew!

I think we all need to get together and write a book about the werid and annoying co-workers we deal with.

My co-worker just asked if anyone had a cough drop very loudly and mutiple times. No one answered, clearly meaning no one has one. She just shouted again, "No really guys I'm serious, do you have one". Um, do you think we are all being spiteful and denying you a cough drop. Geez if we had one we would give it to you so you would shut up already!

Some days I just put my IPOD on and deal with it, today is not one of those and I have these feeling that before the day is over I will end up shouting at her, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!

Get this. We work with a loud person. He swears he can't lower his voice level and yes, we've gone to HR about it. It is bad. He is over 25 feet from me and it sound like he is yelling in my ear. When he answers the phone, he SHOUTS out the name of his department. New people to our areas jump because they are not expecting that.

I keep my ipod going to try and keep my sanity, but the guy closest to loud guy is in trouble now for putting in his ear buds to try and work while drowning out the sounds of loud guy. This is not fair, so we're going to HR again to explain.

 

[WriteDisney]

She also eats like she is making love to her food...very loud and gross. She slurps on drinks and will suck..YES SUCK..all the water from her water bottle to the point it starts cracking.

Same here! It is the absolute worst. And its all day long. There's also the lovely can crushing that happens too.

 

[puffkin]

haha, I was just thinking about the food thing too. My keyboard pounder across from me also eats all day long. I admit, I am a snacker and I eat a lot too, but she will give a running commentary about her food all day. But my favorite is everyday I am privy to mutliple personal phone calls about how broke she is, can't pay for this or that, yet you should see what she brings into work from the Wawa (local convenience store). EVERYDAY, she brings in a coffee, smoothie, bagel sandwhich, sub for lunch, bag of chips, and 36 oz fountain soda. Thats at least $15 of food/drink a day that I have to listen to her eat/slurp. Wawa must love her......

 

[AshleyW]

Okay, I really need to vent about the girl I share an office with, because she is driving me NUTS today and this seems really therapeutic. So, here we go:

I don't care that you've gained 75 lbs since high school. Maybe it's because you're now a "vegetarian" and all you eat are pastries, potato chips and MAYO sandwiches. Yes, that's right, white bread with mayo, and that's it. Excuse me while I vomit.

I don't want to hear about your ghost hunting "adventures". All it consists of is you and your friends going to old houses, drinking too much, and taking pictures of yourself. Oh, and occasionally you'll "hear a ghost", but you're drunk, so who really knows what you heard? LAME.

I'm tired of hearing how your friends mooch off you all the time and how sick you are of paying for their beer and food. If you're so sick of it, DON'T DO IT. You're creating your own problems here, sweetie.

It's Monday. You have a stomach ache. Tomorrow is Tuesday, which means you'll have a headache. The day after that? Your ears will hurt. Thursday, you'll be cold and shaky. Friday you'll probably have another stomach ache. I swear, you're like a medical marvel. Every day there is something wrong with you and you think you need to leave early, but the doctors can't ever find anything wrong, and you're always healthy enough on the weekends to get drunk off your face. How strange!

And lastly, PLEASE, stop instant messaging me to talk crap about our other office-mate. Yeah, he's a little weird and does some very bizarre things. But at least he DOES work and doesn't complain, unlike you - who works semi-hard and then complains ALL DAY LONG about how no one likes you and you don't get any recognition for your work. Maybe if you shut your yapper and work like our office-mate does, people would be more appreciative of what you do, like they are of our office-mate.

 

[Robinrs]

Okay, I really need to vent about the girl I share an office with, because she is driving me NUTS today and this seems really therapeutic. So, here we go:

I don't care that you've gained 75 lbs since high school. Maybe it's because you're now a "vegetarian" and all you eat are pastries, potato chips and MAYO sandwiches. Yes, that's right, white bread with mayo, and that's it. Excuse me while I vomit.

I don't want to hear about your ghost hunting "adventures". All it consists of is you and your friends going to old houses, drinking too much, and taking pictures of yourself. Oh, and occasionally you'll "hear a ghost", but you're drunk, so who really knows what you heard? LAME.

I'm tired of hearing how your friends mooch off you all the time and how sick you are of paying for their beer and food. If you're so sick of it, DON'T DO IT. You're creating your own problems here, sweetie.

It's Monday. You have a stomach ache. Tomorrow is Tuesday, which means you'll have a headache. The day after that? Your ears will hurt. Thursday, you'll be cold and shaky. Friday you'll probably have another stomach ache. I swear, you're like a medical marvel. Every day there is something wrong with you and you think you need to leave early, but the doctors can't ever find anything wrong, and you're always healthy enough on the weekends to get drunk off your face. How strange!

And lastly, PLEASE, stop instant messaging me to talk crap about our other office-mate. Yeah, he's a little weird and does some very bizarre things. But at least he DOES work and doesn't complain, unlike you - who works semi-hard and then complains ALL DAY LONG about how no one likes you and you don't get any recognition for your work. Maybe if you shut your yapper and work like our office-mate does, people would be more appreciative of what you do, like they are of our office-mate.

 

[bumbershoot]

I don't care that you've gained 75 lbs since high school. Maybe it's because you're now a "vegetarian" and all you eat are pastries, potato chips and MAYO sandwiches.

yes, the new veggie phenomenon, the "junk-itarian". Very very easy to gain when you only eat carbs and fat!

If she'll hear you, perhaps suggest a food journal so she can see what she's eating?




I love all these stories, and I feel bad for all of you. I do not miss my cube days!

 

[Handbag Lady]

I think it is very hard for me because this is the first job to ever assign me a cubicle.

I either had my own office or I had one desk in a room of four other desks (not cubicles) and we all got along and liked the same music, etc.

What would/can you cubicle people suggest to get loud guy to shut up? Like I said, we've gone to HR and I even had a meeting with his supervisor about him to no avail. Do we all just start calling out with mental health days or buy him a door or what can we do?

 

[AshleyW]

yes, the new veggie phenomenon, the "junk-itarian". Very very easy to gain when you only eat carbs and fat!

If she'll hear you, perhaps suggest a food journal so she can see what she's eating?

I love all these stories, and I feel bad for all of you. I do not miss my cube days!

That's the worst part, I did! She has a bunch of GI issues - most of which (to me) sound like GERD. I have GERD so I'm pretty familiar with the symptoms. So (supposedly) she's been to a bunch of specialists and they can't figure out what's wrong. I asked her what tests they've done, and she said "not many". Apparently they wanted her to do the egg test, where she swallows the radioactive egg. She refused because she doesn't like eggs?! She's not allergic or anything.. just doesn't like the taste. I'm pretty sure that she's just making stuff up and had to have an excuse as to why she hadn't had any testing done to get a real diagnosis.

I've started doing Weight Watchers, so I think I'm going to casually mention that I found out a can of Bud heavy is 3 weight watchers points. She easily drinks 6 per night, so maybe that'll get her thinking..

 

[Quiksilvr]

Reading all of this makes me very grateful I have an office with a door that closes. I can occasionally hear the guy next to me when he's on the phone, but that's not very often.

I've also got a window, which is nice.

I don't think I've ever had a cube. After reading this, I don't ever want to have one.

 

[Robinrs]

Reading all of this makes me very grateful I have an office with a door that closes. I can occasionally hear the guy next to me when he's on the phone, but that's not very often.

I've also got a window, which is nice.

I don't think I've ever had a cube. After reading this, I don't ever want to have one.

I have an office but I can HEAR everything in the cubes. One time I sort of MENTIONED that and these are the faces I saw...

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Here's what I put up with where I work:

The smell of poop when someone has decided to go in their pants.

Loud screaming that can go on for over an hour. When one stops, another starts up.

Boogers and spit smeared on the tables and chairs where I need to work.

An occasional puke mess on the floor.

Really weird foods that I have to smell and then clean up off the floor.

OK, I don't work in a cubicle. I work in a preschool room. Bet your coworkers don't sound so bad now, huh?

 

[Planogirl]

Me too, nice office with door and two windows. Couldn't take working in a cube I don't think. My window overlooks the parking lot so I do have people coming into my office occasionally to look for a particular persons car in the parking lot.

We have pods instead of cubicles and everyone is on the phone. A pod is just a smaller cubicle that guarantees no privacy.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

My cube neighbor is gross. He farts, burps, caughs up gross stuff etc. Pretty much any bodily function you can think of I hear it on a daily basis. Not to mention he calls every church in the area for money to pay his bills and then buys a gameboy! I try to be nice but I just can't. I live in a house with 4 men/boys who have more manners that he does.

 

[MinnieTink]

OP, you have my sympathies!

Mine goes like this

Dear Cube Neighbor
Every time you stand up and I see your hemorrhoid donut pillow on your chair, I am simultaneously repulsed by and embarrassed for you.
Take care and think "fiber"
Your Cube Neighbor

 

[Minnie]

Very thankful that our facility remodeled and I'm back in an office

Cube world was not fun... and these stories gross

 

[kwelch10377]

OP, you have my sympathies!

Mine goes like this

Dear Cube Neighbor
Every time you stand up and I see your hemorrhoid donut pillow on your chair, I am simultaneously repulsed by and embarrassed for you.
Take care and think "fiber"
Your Cube Neighbor

Haha......my cube neighbor had one of those at one point. She is not a small girl and one day she sat down on it and it burst. I of course started to laugh, but she was so upset yelling that it was suppose to hold up to 300 lbs. and that she was going to call the company that made them bc she only weighed 290 lbs and it should not have popped.

As she was leaving today she claimed she wasn't feeling well and was going to "work" from home tomorrow. I wish she would just take a damn sick day. I may get relief from her for one day, but when she comes back I will hear how even though she was sick she worked from home and she ended up working more hours working at home than if she would have came in. She will tell this to just about every person she encounters in person or by phone on Wed.

 

[phragmipedium]

I used to work with someone who clipped his nails at least twice a week at his desk, and I thought I'd never deal with it again once I left there. Now at my new work, at least two people in my general vicinity do this regularly also! Seriously? This is a bathroom activity. In your own home. Please bring a nail file in case you accidentally break a nail and need to do a quick repair - otherwise, please schedule all regular maintenance for outside of work hours.

I also work near someone who constantly clears her throat, talks to herself, and will plop down in your chair to use your pen/white-out/whatever if you happen to have been up for a second, instead of going to her own desk or a shared area. If you weren't up and you are in your chair, she'll just lean in your workspace and take what she needs, make her corrections over your shoulder, talking under her breath the whole time. I have a space bubble and this annoys me to no end!

And yet another who insists on cooking some microwave shrimp meal everyday in our office...gross.

I'm super glad I've moved desks away from the coworker who warned me when she started work that I might hear her "go off" on someone on the phone if one of her creditors tried calling her at her new place of work, because her debts are almost seven years old and she's NOT paying them.

Cubes are a pain, lol. At least in my prior job I had an office where I could shut my door if someone wanted to clip their nails or cook fish at work.