An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[sheridac]

Although, I WOULD like to see our ex-PM Jean Chretien take another big turkey on... providing, of course, he's armed with his trusty inuit sculpture. That is a Canadian joke. That I just made up. You won't get it. No matter. Just remember that Art Saves Lives. That's all you have to know.

I get it. Because I am everywhere.

The tram takes off and both men are faced with the issue of just WHERE in HECK to put their knees. At first the other guy's legs are between Melly's. But that makes them uncomfortable. So they jockey for a better knee position... without actually talking or touching each other. For a good two minutes it looks like they are dancing with each other. I'm waiting for the hand jive. Plus I'm looking at Mellyman and laughing. Finally they decide to squeeze their knees together and point them in opposite directions. And avoid eye contact. It was funny. For me.

This is funny for me too. Laughing at the men in one's life is sooo satisfying!!!!

 

[Chapter 11]

That's Prince Edward Island, a Canadian province, for the few of you Americans who aren't Canadian geography buffs. P.E.I. is known for its potatoes, red soil and Anne of Green Gables.

Also well known for its oysters. And its mussels. And its clams. Shoot, the whole bivalve shellfish family, truth be told. Bet that got you reaching for the Pepto, didn't it?

And a vicious rodent who attempts to smother Tommy...The rest of us just stand around helplessly. Trying to figure out whether it's Chip or Dale.

It's Chip -- you can tell from the nose.

Another great installment, as usual.

 

[ZZUB]

I heart you all.

As long as you don't heart the Huckabees. I just couldn't take that.

Just remember that Art Saves Lives.

I understand that was Tolstoy's original choice for War and Peace. It was his mistress who talked him into changing the name. She thought "Art Saves Lives" was too stupid. She was, of course, right.

Plus we have to go check in to the BWV and hit Walmart for supplies.

This is the funniest line I've ever read in a trip report. Mel, you are amazing!

 

[patrokls]

Day Two Motors On... aka The TR installment after the one where patrokls called Me(l) fat. AND unlucky. And then another bunch of you told me I have bad breath. Geez. I feel as popular as a Dixie Chick at Dubya's birthday. Or an American in Paris. Or, for that matter, ANYONE in Paris who isn't Parisian. What I'm trying to say is this: Thanks for continuing to read my trippie. I heart you all.

I knew I would get in trouble but I wrote it anyway. You must be rubbing off on me. When I went on Kali there were about 6 people in the boat already sitting on one side so I sat opposite them and came off the ride drier than when I went on.

 

[theycallmered]

So...my big brave handsome voyageur of a DH heads off to find himself a piece of smoked meat the size of P.E.I. That's Prince Edward Island, a Canadian province, for the few of you Americans who aren't Canadian geography buffs. P.E.I. is known for its potatoes, red soil and Anne of Green Gables.

I wouldn't want to tangle with the turkey that that size of leg came off. Although, I WOULD like to see our ex-PM Jean Chretien take another big turkey on... providing, of course, he's armed with his trusty inuit sculpture. That is a Canadian joke. That I just made up. You won't get it. No matter. Just remember that Art Saves Lives. That's all you have to know.

You're so funny that some times I just forget that you are Canadian.

Gosh, who knew that Canadians could be so funny.

No, really, I am really enjoying your trip report. It is truely hilarious!

 

[NAB]

Yes I understood all that Canadian stuff and the Art Saves thing.
Great job ...I like the everyday installments.

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

I WOULD like to see our ex-PM Jean Chretien take another big turkey on... providing, of course, he's armed with his trusty inuit sculpture. That is a Canadian joke. That I just made up. You won't get it. No matter. Just remember that Art Saves Lives. That's all you have to know.

Oh, oh, oh........I get it too!

Very funny segment.

Huummmm, a comment for one of your readers - hey RED
We Canucks are a funny bunch. It's the cold. We have to find the humour in it!
Plus, John Candy, Eugene Levy, Catharine O'Hara, Martin Short, Jim Carey, Mike Myers, etc......they're kind of funny too.

Mel - you rock!

 

[TLinden16]

Just a friendly reminder that this is a board for Disney World trip reports.

If you would like to discuss Canada, perhaps you should head over to our Canadian board. You can find it by clicking here.

Thank you.

 

[Loves Disney]

Just a friendly reminder that this is a board for Disney World trip reports.

If you would like to discuss Canada, perhaps you should head over to our Canadian board. You can find it by clicking here.

Thank you.

Off-topic - This post made me laugh out loud...for whatever reason, I don't know! lol.


On-topic - I want to meet Red Ridding Hood!! Mel, You're kids are adorable!!!

 

[labdogs42]

Plus we have to go check in to the BWV and hit Walmart for supplies.

I can't wait to hear what you could possibly need at WalMart! With all that luggage and a whole suitcase full of shoes and who knows how many bikinis, what could you possibly need? The suspense is killing me -- write again soon!

PS I read all the Anne of Green Gables books, too. I always wanted to visit PEI when I was a kid!

 

[M&M's]

Yes, Chip has a black nose and Dale has a red nose. Also, in France, Chip and Dale are known as Tic et Tac. There's your random tidbit of the day.

Thanks for an extremely enjoyable trip report. I'm really enjoying. It.

 

[SandraVB79]

As for the soaking jean shorts, you should be thankful. My first time on Kali I had on a light pair of khaki's that became tranparent upon becoming wet. I felt so indecent at a family park in transparent shorts!!!!

You just have to make sure to wear nice underwear. I used to go on Grizzly River Run at DCA in white linen pants.

 

[Master Gracie]

Caught up now.

Great report.

Keep going.




Will PM you.

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Great report...loved the flame tree review.

And not to be picky but wasn't Mrs. Chretien who used the art to fight of the invader?

But at the risk of digressing loved your day at AK!!

 

[Lil' Grumpy]

...before i begin, isn't masterg & her lil partyner [that's french u
know? ...the cutest couple around these parts?

as u should know..i sorta give feedback -hurlin- the effects (special) from
reading the happy H. stormin the world of dizzyland & those "readers"
bold enough, adding their favoring. [be it chocolate or a naughty spice].

that said..i for all your "news". however, iam sorta missin
all your references to the disney's aromas, that you gave my sensory
expectations last trip? why are u keepin them tucked away ? me
wondering and too. nor do i expect to har it is something you
are putting on your face to keep yor girly [darn prutty, i might add!]
loks!

p.s... ..all the graapphiees mr.Zzzzubber commented on makes
prefect $cents. in fascto, the more i read, the more evident yo guys
were separated at birth...as &

here i am..realizing cos of u... iam makin up a new ritual before every
new section....i won't bored everyone..but it does included wearing a
bid and keeping a brand new roll of paper towels close by. the rest
is for your imaginations...but here's a tipppo: going nude before bathtime
isn't a bad idea!

he,ehe, heathing....my wife pop in and right bak out! mumblin something
to the effect of middle lifer crisies? i told her iam sure i have no idea
what she talkin bout. nor i have mentioned u by name! sooo all yor secrets
are safe with me!

soooo there's no missy understandings,not like B. spears [ hey did you see
her tv show where she was revealing more cleve...land than sheridac's
shoes exhibition?]. talkin bout lion's kings, tigzggers , and sillly old bears,
oh, my! not likin them...in my dreams...you are truly a classic woman!

..aaaahhhhhh u been readin my tr? will ,have u??? and all my zanniest...
yep, u never catch me callin me crazy! ha! yor animal adventures is just
one more testominoie that doing dizzland right is not bout the rides, but
the adventures! gotta that jimmie?!

..at the tram was not just one but 2 wild rides!..one the first one, i
think lil me..would held things up a lil..and went to the driver for a lil
conference...but nnnoooooo, u had to torture the rudes A.ES too
submission,did't yo? i could hear yor husbany from here! is it ok,
if we ever meet up.... ha! u think iam going to ask huggin
yo..missy annie gable, gpoing to git her guns! nope, but would it be all
right to hugs your melguy? . he has my respect on
working it! that is, he let u handle them. yo a

me don't..that lil fella i lik cos of my mother! she loved showin
opff her rings..smokin one & all! so did my slick father..however, their
10 lil indians...have never smoked! if u interested [probably not].. but
i added a picture site....over my tr....so u can "see" whose been talkin
at you! please,no comments..i already knowwhat your trhinking! [urine
and all].

kalis..oh,my..we always meet new friends there! must be the water...
and cos they seem to let us ride over & over again. wet & smellin
ride we declared it! hate to break it too you but i think wts. issue has
to do with going down the hill first..so it took all yor family to changed
your fortune? ok, we have ridden it so many x's that there's a lil secret
we discovered....ha! if u going to find out, u going have to wait until
i write bout it, missy...my mother taught me well bout girls & giving
away the store displays! good mom!

tell calvin the next time he meets robin h. , to grab his tail! that's a tippo.
was that tb tommy holding??? or a lil lizard? or a lightin bug! great pics!
and fanny pack , i ever didn't see.

classic broad!

so u know anne of gg? then you got a pretty good idea of me growing
up, just the reverse but dye hair and all! if u take a lil peep, yor see
an uncannin resemblis to my wifey & gilbert! when we first saw the
movies..well you can imagined. let's say lil missy fellows had nuthin
on my misadventures. for the sakes of farnsworth & down of the farm.
the connection.

1975..hitchin from miami thru..hollywood & up to cocoa b....someone
very famous picked me up for lunch, in their limo... he had blue eyes....
i must stood out being miltary...right to his home..wants know what
amajed me the most?? he had neigbors,right next door! just a lil ranch
house...life,can be soooo spontaneous, lik a dizzy/land adventure. no?


her's a secret..send an "early" riser onto the park first thing to get
fastpass while the rest catches up.

ok, you sneak thingy..sure hope to "catch" u sometime reading my!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

The happyhaunts load up, belt up and head up. Out. I mean. The plan is to go directly to the Boardwalk Villas, check in and take a peek at our room. We chose the Boardwalk Villas specifically because Beth requested it. She thinks it looks "fancy", she loves hanging out on the Boardwalk in the evenings watching the entertainers, and it's close to Epcot. Our second favourite park. After the Magic Kingdom. Plus we felt the need to appease her. Big time. Because she was begging... literally... for us to use our DVC points for a stay at the Grand Floridian. This time. Besides the fact that our whole years worth of points would buy us about three hours at the GF... just long enough for us to check in and realize that the joint's WAY to classy for the happyhaunts... it's not in walking distance to EPCOT. Our second favourite park. Don't get me wrong. I would LOVE to stay at the Grand Floridian someday. But, unless Britney and the KFed are there at the same time to make us look good... it ain't gonna happen. Anytime soon. Hit me baby one more time. Plus, I think you're allowed to pee in the pools at the DVC resorts. At least someone in our party did at Old Key West... last May.
So... this is for Bethy. This little stay in luxury. So to speak.

We're all talking excitedly at the same time as we leave the AK parking lot. It sounds like this in our car:

Tommy: Bacon and eggs and eggs and eggs. Bacon and eggs and eggs.
Calvin: EWAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAA! sssssssssssss. SSSSSSSSSSsss.
Beth: Calvin, please! Daddy said 'No Koalas at Disney'. That means you. Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it... (etc.)
Mellyman: You know Mel, I really missed having a coffee this morning... STOP IT CALVIN... I should have grabbed one. What IS the SMELL in here?
Me: We have to get Calvin to a washroom. As soon as we get to the Boardwalk. I'll take him in to register with me. It's coffee. Caffe Verona. Bama, it's bacon and eggs and toast and jam... you're
singing it wrong.
Tommy: Bacon and eggs and toast and ham.
Me: Jam
Tommy: HAM!
Me: Fine, ham.
Calvin: sssssssssssssssssss. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsss!!!!!! ENOLLLAAA!
Mellyman: Is that a mild or bold roast? 'Cause I wasn't crazy about the last one you bought. CALVIN!
Beth: Tommy just sing JAM. Those are the words. Calvin is trying to stick his finger in my ear, Mom. Mom. MOTHER!!!!!! PAY ATTENTION to YOUR DAUGHTER!

Yep.

Is it any wonder we got lost? And veered off of the internal WDW road and ended up headed back towards Orlando?

Mellyman: Mel? I think we're lost.
Me: Yep.
Mellyman: Where do we go now?
Me: No idea. Put your big girl panties on and figure it out.

That didn't happen. And, since I already HAD big girl panties on, I grabbed the map and figured out where we were. We were closer to the Walmart than WDW. So... we decided to go there. First.

See. How convenient! Things always work out. Power of positive thinking.

We wheeled in to the Walmart and parked. Way way at the back of the parking lot. Walmart was as busy as the Animal Kingdom today. Too. We got out and, as usual, Beth grabbed Tommy's hand tightly and walked him through the parking lot to the store. She always does it. I never ask her to. It's the way she is. And, all the way, she was talking to him and telling him how much fun he was going to have this trip. Those two have a very special relationship. She is a little mother to him. He looks to her for comfort as much as he does to me. And I love watching them together. Especially when she is as happy and excited as she was at that moment. In a Walmart parking lot. In Florida.

Beth is a serious, introspective and cautious girl. Shy. Quiet. BUT... She has a lightness of spirit... joy... when we're in Disney. So do I. So do we all. So do all of you. I believe. And that's why we love it. Isn't it?

I believe you will enjoy your travels through WDW with the happyhaunts much better if you actually know who we are. So... I add stories and dialogue and little pieces of us... along the way... so you KNOW us. At least a little bit. It helps you see Disney the way we do. And to understand the wonderful spell it casts over five ordinary people from Canada. I want you to live it through OUR eyes: through my laughing ones, through my husband's loving ones, through Tommy's innocent ones, through Calvin's spirited ones and, also, through Beth's eyes. Ones which are old before their time. Otherwise, I figure, what's the point? Of it. After all?

To be continued. Up next: Funny stuff. I promise.

 

[skunkvette]

Thank you for sharing that insight. It is the balance in life that makes the sweet moments sweeter.

But since we were at BW the same time as your family, I didn't need to hear about the pool.

Keep them coming...

 

[Master Gracie]

Beth had a friend named Emma when she was younger....etc.

Wow. That is so tragic.

I can't imagine how hard that would be for everyone involved.

Keeps in perspective exactly how short life can be.

Hug someone you love today.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I appreciate your candor and love the way you let us in on your lives (both at Disney and away). You are a gifted writer and I look forward to your installments.

I am also truly sorry that Beth (and the rest) had to witness such a tragic event.

 

[Loves Disney]

After the Magic Kingdom. Plus we felt the need to appease her. Big time. Because she was begging... literally... for us to use our DVC points for a stay at the Grand Floridian. This time. Besides the fact that our whole years worth of points would buy us about three hours at the GF... just long enough for us to check in and realize that the joint's WAY to classy for the happyhaunts... it's not in walking distance to EPCOT. Our second favourite park. Don't get me wrong. I would LOVE to stay at the Grand Floridian someday.

The Grand Floridian is an awesome resort! We have stayed there many times and enjoy it very much!!!! I could go on and on about it (as I have in the past) but I won't lol. I just saw mention of our "home" and thought I'd reply to it lol.

Your Trip Reports are like reading a book. This is such a page turner and yet...I can't turn the page!!! lol It makes it fun.

You WILL be making this into a book, right!? You'd better!!! lol. I mean...I'd buy it...