Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa and Julie.

I am getting back into a routine and it feels good. As I look back at 2010, I see a layoff, a couple of pay cuts and that darn flood and I can't say I'll miss that year one bit! On the other hand, we got to go to WDW twice, we are all healthy and compared to say 2008 when my mom died, I'd say 2010 was overall an okay year to live through! I guess I suffer from mixed bag syndrome!

We went down to see my sister in Colorado Springs on Sunday and had a really nice day with her and my nephew. He had saved his birthday cake from the 28th share with us at long last since the big blow out happned before we even cut the cake. I took my sister on a little drive with dd while the three guys watched the Broncos , and she and I talked some things out. I tried to explain a bit better why my brother is upset. She said she may send him an email in a few months. She is sending gifts for my nieces for their birthday and maybe that will start some forgiveness on his part. He is so stubborn and can hold such a grudge, I am not sure its that hopeful but we'll see. She's chosen to move on, but I told her not to expect much anytime soon.

Its sad, I cannot tell you how many people I know that have these type issues in their families and so often the holidays bring it all up to the surface. In fact I am having lunch with a friend tomorrow that had a big fight with her sister Christmas day so we should have a few things to talk about! I guess my Norman Rockwell meets Martha Stewart plans for Christmas didn't quite go as hoped but I sitll feel like it was a good Christmas.

I did well with food on Monday and Tuesdsay and so far so good today. I didn't sign up for WW, frankly I just don't feel like it. I am just watching what I eat, getting my fruits and veggies up and I did go to the gym today which felt great. In fact I ran into a friend I know from WW at the gym, she is the same way and said like me, she's sick of giving WW money but not giving it enough of her time and dedication to have results! We'll see, I may join up after we get back from WW, I am just taking it one day at a time.

I have five months until WDW and my goal is to just chug away at chugging it off!

Lisa: I didn't check more expensive resorts but I am still waffling if I want to downgrade to a value! But I want a moderate so we'll see!

Julie: I haven't been to a meeting in months either, at least I am not paying this time around, so often I keep paying that monthly fee only to never go!

 

[Amy&Dan]

I forgot to post earlier that I weighed this mornign and was down .7 from what I weighed on Monday. I really like the Wii scale. Bad news (very bad news) is that I gained more weight over the holidays. I came in at 252 pounds on Monday, I am just aghast. And very ashamed. But there is nowhere to go but down on that scale as far as I am concerned. Still it just blows my mind that I let that 15 pounds I worked so damn hard to lose last winter come back on plus four more. Yo Yo thing needs to stop once and for all.

I also have been stressed yet again due to dh's job. His contract is up, we werent' sure what would happen but praise the Lord, they are bringing him on as an employee. The pay is not at all what he is used to but we both agree he needs something stable. After the past few years, stability and peace of mind are worth quit a bit. And I am still thinking somehow I can find a job that isn't full time, isn't fast food or retail and can get me back in the work force! I still wish that job I interviewed for in June had worked out, it would have been so perfect. But then again, if it had been the perfect job and meant to be, it would have happened. Something is out there for me and I need to figure out how to get out there and prove how smart I am for someone to give me a chance! I just don't want to work full time and Dan is on the same page. So we'll see.

 

[goldcupmom]

I hear you, Amy! Everytime life hits bottom, my scale goes up. Looking at my weight on 1/1/07 I've kept off only 15 lbs in 4 years, but if you look at what I've lost each year, it's pathetic. Up, Down, Up, Down!

We CAN do this! We MUST do this! Together!

Glad Dan's job is becoming a bit more secure. You will find something. Hang in there!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

Sorry to hear about the blowup at your nephew's party between your brother and your sister. I hope things work out between them.

I'm glad to hear that they hired Dan as an employee!

Five months til WDW and one week til DL!!! Woohoo!

I hear you on the weight thing, Amy. I've not kept a single pound off that I have lost in the past few years. I feel like a yo-yo! (Never knew there was a yo-yo smilie!)

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend. Any special plans?

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy, I am so happy to see you!

Yesterday and today have been more of a struggle with food. I also took the day off from the gym, I overdid it on the treadmill hills and I was so sore. I also didn't sleep worth a darn last night. So I plan to work out this weekend one time.

I have been pretty stressed the last few days, our Cobra insurance went up 30% effective January 1st. Its already sky high, and Dan's benefits won't kick in until March. But we have to have insurance, ds' broken nose incident proves health emergencies happen! I can't wait for him to have benefits again.

This weekend's plan is to pack for DL, take down the rest of the Christmas decorations and stay on ds to study for finals. I am letting him have tonight off because he has worked his buns off all week, but come tomorrow, its study, study, study! I am sure he cannot wait.

The other thing that we need to do is have Dan talk to his aunt. He found out he is not allowed to take any time off for 90 days. He can take off for DL because its over MLK weekend and that is a holiday for his new company. But our trip to DC in March will not be possible. He asked if he could take it without pay, but they said no which is good because we can't swing that right now anyway. I know they'll be disappointed, but there is nothing we can do about it. Maybe we can go in the fall. What I really want to do is take a huge road trip next summer, go to Chicago, St. Louis, DC, Texas and everything in between. It would be a great experience to show the kids a huge chunk of the country. And frankly, DC is so complicated for us since his family doesn't drive, can't pick us up at the airport and it may just be easier to drive out there even though its like 1500 miles. We'll see. We are going to have to change our lifestyle, Dan gets just two weeks of vacation vs the four weeks he's had for years. And then there's that lower salary.

I called on a few jobs today, nothing that worked. One woman at one placement agency said "in a word you are unmarketable". Gee thanks. I think I will apply at some of the nearby retail places when we get back from DL. I have a friend from church who works at Bed, Bath and Beyond and she said they will only give you up to 20 hours which will be perfect. I just intend to stay firm that I cannot work on Sunday.

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm sorry to hear about the Cobra increase. Health insurance seems to be getting more and more expensive these days.

How was your weekend? Are you packed for DL?

I like the idea of a cross country road trip! That sounds like a lot of fun and a great way to see the country! Any chance there would be a stop in Ohio?

Sending some for the work thing. Know that God is in control and He will provide!

Have a great day today!

 

[toystoryduo]

Two more days!!! Are you packed and ready to go? I hope you and your family have a wonderful time!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy, hmmm, Ohio on the way to DC sounds like a lovely idea! Btw, I had coffee on you yesterday at Starbucks!

So I am not packed, not even close. But I have all day tomorrow. Today I spent most of the day with a killer migraine. Then I started up my Wednesday night class this evening and it was so good to see all my little first grade girls. Although my head was killing me, it was just good to be back.

Today is the 3rd anniversary of when my mom died. Like all things in life, on one hand it seems like yesterday, on the other it seems like a million years ago. I am glad its not then. And while my weight journey is still stuck in neutral, I feel so much better emotionally and spiritually. All those long years of caring for her taught me a lot and its taken me some time to put a lot of things into persepctive. I talked with both my siblings today and my stepdad. None of them talk to each other but they all talk to me. Gosh, I feel like the popular girl at the lunch table.

Food was good today but I didn't make it to the gym. I didn't yesterday or Monday either due to bad weather, but I did do Walk Away the Pounds those days and need to do that again tomorrow.

If I don't make it back on before DL, I will see you ladies when I get back. Its going to be a short trip but I am super excited and its going to be in the 70's every day we are there!

 

[DisDee]

A belated happy new Year to you Amy! I hope you found peace and love yesterday when you thought of your Mom.

I'm so excited for you and your trip to DL. The last time I was there was as a kid in the early 60's-scary huh? I used to travel the country with my grandparents every summer and we have distant family in CA.

Have yourself a wonderful time! It sounds like you'll have great weather.

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending a gentle for you, Amy. Always know that your mom is watching over you!

Great job on getting those WATP workouts in! That's what I've been using to get back on track with exercise. I just love Leslie's positive energy!

I hope you and your family have a wonderful time in Disneyland!!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hope you're having a wonderful time in Disneyland!!!

 

[eyor44]

Amy, I hope you are having a wonderful time in DisneyLand. Can't wait to hear all about it.

So happy that Dan has been brought on as a permanent employee. That and the benefits is wonderful!

Yeah, our insurance went up also. It does every year. Did the Federal Tax increase effect Dan also? The President finally signed the tax extension, but too late for the first of the year. Not getting a COL increase, having insurance go up and having the unexpected tax increase has hurt. We'll be fine, but still, wasn't expecting that one.

Looking forward to your return and hearing about your trip.

 

[eyor44]

I'm watching the weather right now and your area is covered in white. I can't remember when you are coming home, but I do pray it doesn't cause you any problems.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa, Denise and Tracy. We had a wonderful time in Disneyland, the weather was absolutely perfect. High 70's and low 80's each day, not a cloud in the sky kind of perfect.

We did end up staying at the Hojo across the street. I had kept that reservation because down deep I was just not sure I wanted to pony up so much for the Grand Californian. Finally just before we left, I cancelled the Grand and I am so glad I did. The room was so nice and spacious and at DL being offsite doesn't mean you are that far off! We were as close to DL as the Contemporary is to MK, you could hear the train whistle, the pool deck had a perfect view of the fireworks and it was perfect. Saving over $900 was worth more than being "onsite" for this trip.

Now I have to get down to business with my weight. I just feel like I have crossed a line with my weight. EVERYTHING is so much harder when I am this heavy. I could barely get my seatbelt fastened on the plane, going out we all had middle seats due to an oversold flight and I could just tell that when I sat down, the man next to me was not happy. I just tried very hard to not spill over into anyone else's seat territory.

I may go to Weight Watchers tomorrow, I just don't know. Its a new program, maybe I should give it a try. I want this so badly, but I don't seem to have any clear idea how to make it happen. I feel like I have really dug myself into a very deep hole. I also feel like I am at a critical point with this. If I gain much more weight, I am probably looking at diabetes and God knows what else. What scares me is that more and more lately, I find myself thinking I will never be able to do this. It used to be I NEVER thought like that. I always felt optimistic even when I was in a rut. Not so much anymore and I have to fight that because at the very least, I have to believe that it can happen.

I have a bad cold (thankfully got that starting yesterday afternoon so not on the trip) and today I ate weird food, didn't exercise and just felt lethargic and yucky. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

 

[toystoryduo]

Welcome Back, Amy!

It sounds like you had a wonderful trip to DL!!! The weather sounds perfect! Glad you enjoyed your stay at Hojo! Congrats on saving $900!!

Amy, I have had the exact same thoughts about weight loss myself. I completely understand how you feel, but always remember that with God ALL things are possible.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friend! I hope you feel better soon!

Sending you a PM.....

 

[eyor44]

So happy that you had a wonderful trip! and so glad to have you back!

If there is anything as your friends that we can do to help you, please let us know. We are here from you and I liked what Tracy wrote. ...with God all things are possible....

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy and Lisa and thank you both for the pm's.

Needless to say I have been off the boards lately, I have been so sick I can't even remember when I last got on here. I started getting sick the day we flew home, thought it might be allergies at first then just thought it was a cold but by Sunday night my throat was hurting so bad I literally almost cried. I looked back there and the whole back of my throat was covered in blisters and I had these little canker sores on the inside of my mouth. So I went to the doctor, tested negative for strep and she said its just a really bad viral thing that will have to run its course. Other than the doctor on Monday, I have not gone anywhere. The cold part is better, I am way less congested but my throat is about the same. I am living on white rice and white bread. Anything that has any sort of spice to it is out, I took a small bite of pumpkin bread today and the cinnamon in it amost killed me. I keep hoping this goes away, its hard to sleep or do much of anything. On the bright side, I am thankful its me down with this and not Dan or the kids. Dan has no sick time yet and the kids don't need to miss any school.

So I did go to Weight Watchers on Saturday (this was back when I thought I just had a cold), I woke up Saturday just feeling so down and depressed. Being sick probably wasn't helping on that front but I was just so down and desparate. The new plan is very interesting, really an emphasis on avoiding carbs. Carbs now have a way higher point value. Fruit is free (wow, how awesome is that) and you do get more points but the carbs add up way more. Which is a good thing. Of course right now all I eat is carbs, chewing meat or veggies is literally impossible although I may try to eat some scrambled eggs later.

My weight is basically off the charts. I weighed in at my all time highest: 253.6. I am ashamed to even write that but I feel like I need to be accountable for the trainwreck I let happen. So I gained back all the 15 I lost the first part of 2010 plus five more. I can honestly say that number absolutely scared the you know what out of me, I am closer to 300 pounds than 200. Maybe this is that rock bottom I need to hit once and for all.

So my first goal is to lose 13 pounds (5%) by March 4th. Thats just a bit over two pounds per week. I feel very confident I can make that goal, although this week I have not been able to work out. On the other hand I haven't been able to eat much either! Sometimes when I am sick I actually gain weight, however if the scale at the doctor is at all near the WW scale, I am down a few pounds.

Thanks for stopping by, hopefully I am on the mend. I am so blessed and lucky to have friends who stand by me and motivate me. And you are both right, God makes all things possible and I know He doesn't want me to be unhealthy and is here with me. I just need to believe in myself and allow myself to be successful.

 

[eyor44]

Oh Amy. I hope you are better soon. Not strep? Gosh, sounds like the worst case of strep ever, but I'm not a doctor. Just a frequent strep host.
Are you taking any meds? I feel for you my friend, I know how bad that stuff hurts. What about oatmeal or grits? and jello. The cool jello might help if you can find a mild flavor. vanilla pudding? Chicken broth? Tea? I'm trying to remember all the things I try when I am like that. Maybe not chicken broth yet, might be too salty. Yogurt or milk.

Feel better, we'll be here when you get back.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Oh Amy. I hope you are better soon. Not strep? Gosh, sounds like the worst case of strep ever, but I'm not a doctor. Just a frequent strep host.
Are you taking any meds? I feel for you my friend, I know how bad that stuff hurts. What about oatmeal or grits? and jello. The cool jello might help if you can find a mild flavor. vanilla pudding? Chicken broth? Tea? I'm trying to remember all the things I try when I am like that. Maybe not chicken broth yet, might be too salty. Yogurt or milk.

Feel better, we'll be here when you get back.

Thanks Lisa, I am in such agony tonight, I think I have a sinus infection. My upper teeth, jaw and my cheeks are killing me and my ears hurt too. So now I have to go back to the doctor tomorrow, hopefully get an antibiotic and get better. Unfortunately, I see another long night in a lot of pain with no sleep. I am really frustrated because I feel like my doctor should have gone ahead and prescribed me an antibiotic on Monday. Of course this is the doctor that told me Matthew had a sinus infection when in fact he had a broken nose with a visible hematoma inside his nostril.

I think I need a new doctor, I just didn't feel like finding a new one on Monday.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll post I got an antibiotic and am starting to feel better.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Well, I am finally feeling better. I did go back to the doctor on Thursday and shd did confirm I had a sinus infection. She prescribed an antibiotic and some over the counter stuff and it really helped. Today I have been able to eat normal food for the first time in a week. The blisters in my throat are almost healed up, as long as I avoid foods that are too hot (as in spicy and temperature) I am fine. Unfortunately, Dan is coming down with it. I am pumping him with fluids and wellness tea and hopefully he won't get it as bad as me.

I did go to WW on Friday morning just to weigh in and was down 8.8 pounds. Clearly being sick got the credit for that. My goal this week is to just maintain that loss. And I also hope to work out at least 3 times. Even if its just a 30 minute walk.

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend!