Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[toystoryduo]

Hi Amy,

Please don't be too hard on yourself....You just got back from a wonderful vacation! Remember, baby steps are the key here and that's exactly what you did today! You CAN do this, Amy!!!

I'm sending lots of your way for your 4th of July get together.

I hope you have a wonderful day today!

P.S. Sending you a PM.....

 

[lovinaz]

How did WW go? I think you should be able to use it in conjunction with what you are reading in the book. It's not a diet, it's a way of living, right?

I know what you mean about getting back into a routine after vacation. I am the absolute worst! But you have done it in the past, and you can do it again! Hopefully you got the motivation you needed at your meeting and were able to put those workout clothes to work today!

 

[traceycooper]

I'm glad fathers day worked out Amy

I get the impression that your sister is actually jealous, you have a loving husband & beautiful kids, is she on her own??? i have a feeling the answer to that is yes, that is proberbly why she is trying to put you down, she envies you

you will get on track Amy you just need time, TOM will certainly not be helping get that out the way first

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks everyone.

Just as I was leaving for WW today, the phone rang, it was my cousin. My uncle had a massive heart attack in the night and is in a coma and not expected to live past Friday. When he called the nurse was telling them probably in the next two hours, but here it is over 12 hours later and he is still hanging on. I am so sad, he was doing so much better. Just last night I talked with my cousin and he was very excited and upbeat. Now my poor cousins and their family are just sitting by the phone.

So we are planning to go to Texas. I just feel I need to be there, I thought I might fly alone but Dan and the kids want to come so we plan to drive. Airfare is almost $700 per person so nix to that. We can also see my other side of the family. No idea how the budget will survive, I am still recovering from WDW. But family first.

So I don't see myself back on track until we come home which may be over a week. We may just stay on a few days, see all the family and Dan can also visit with his Dallas office. I just feel unraveled and guilty, worrying about dumb details while my Uncle is dying.

Food today, fine, very good until I ate a bit too much dinner but when I started to realize I was full and eating for stress, I got up from the table. I also resisted ice cream with hot fudge, left over from last Friday night. I found it in the garage, apparently my friend didn't take her leftovers home and of course I discovered them. I was about to dig in with self pity and then stopped myself. Put ice cream back, poured fudge sauce down the sink. So I was proud of that. I'll try my best for the next week. The thought of being away from home and the dogs is sort of unappealing. And stepdad will be alone now on my mom's birthday next week. He wanted to take us to dinner that night. But it can't be helped.

I'll post before I go. Thanks for all your support.

Tracy: Thanks Wish Sis, I got your pm, it helped!

Amy: I can do it, I just need to believe that. Now another trip to recover from!

Tracey: Oh yeah, she's single. Has been for over 25 years. Gosh, I wonder why? I love her to death, I know she loves me, but then she'll slip in these killer little digs and I wonder about her.

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. We will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers.

Have a safe trip to Texas, WISH sis. We'll be praying for you!

P.S. I sent you a couple of PMs....Did you get both of them? They are both showing unread in my inbox. I just wanted to check in case I need to re-send them. Take good care of you, sweetie!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Well, my uncle passed away this morning. He went peacefully so we were thankful for that. We leave tomorrow and aren't sure how long we'll stay. I have a lot of family down there so I guess if we are there, we might as well see everyone if we can.

I will try to update while I am gone if I can, if not I'll see everyone when I get back.

And Tracy, I did get your pm's. I read them off my email but I know I responded to one, did you get that one?? Thanks Wish Sis.

 

[postesf]

HI Amy! I am super proud of you for pooring the Choc down the drain and puttnig away the ice cream. Shows great self-control!

I'm so sorry to hear about your Uncle!

I wish you the best while you are in Texas. You guys be safe!!!
Stacie

 

[lovinaz]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle. Have a safe trip and make the best out of seeing all your family!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy and Stacie.

I had to major shopping today, trying to find clothes for the funeral, coordinate when and where we will see my various cousins from both sides of my family and of course just all the stuff you do before a trip. My house looks like a bomb went off, I forsee a very late night!

I opted for a pair of dress black slacks and a blouse, I just couldn't find a dress I liked. This baby doll style is not really very flattering and thats all the stores seem to have.

I did well on food all day, could have drank more water but I am okay with that. I had dinner with stepdad and my sister at his house, I chose fruit instead of ice cream, cookies, snickers bars and drumstick cones. He always love to have junk food around for his guests! I also ate two small pieces of pizza and that was it.

I will try to check in while I am gone, if not we should be home a week from Saturday hopefully.

Thanks for the well wishes, you are great friends to have.

And I apologize for not getting to anyone else's journal in the last few days.

 

[goldcupmom]

Safe trip, Amy! I'll be praying for you! You'll be driving right near where I live, I think! Stay safe!!

 

[traceycooper]

Amy
i'm sorry to hear about your uncle & i'm sorry i missed you.
Have a safe trip
what date is your moms birthday?
well done on resisiting the ice cream

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending lots of prayers your way, Amy. Thanks for your PM! Have a safe trip!

 

[lovinaz]

Hi Amy, just checking in to see how your trip went. Hope all is well!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks everyone for checking in on me and the well wishes. We got home Sunday morning at 1:30 a.m., after driving 15 hours to get home. I was just so sick of unpacking (we did a total of three hotels and one night at my cousin's in 8 days) and Dan really wanted to have a full day at home before going back to work today. It was a sad time at the funeral but nice to see all of my cousins and my beloved aunt who is almost 83. I couldn't be in Texas and not spend time with her! So it was really great to be with all my family, and it actually sort of helped me come to more closure with my mom. We saw her family, got to talk about old times and on the 24th, we went to her old favorite Italian place with my cousins to celebrate her day. She had her first slice of pizza at this place back in 1954! So the kids enjoyed that, the place hasn't changed a bit, they keep it that way for the retro look and I swear I kept expecting her to walk through the door.

I must say, that is the LAST family event I intend to go to fat. The whole time, I completely overate (Texas is all about Tex Mex, bbq and fried foods and of course I love all that). I looked at all my tall skinny cousins (they take after a side of the family I am not related to and it shows) and how much healthier they are and I just felt again, the realization enough is enough. I grocery shopped yesterday, turned down an invitation on Wednesday so that I can go to WW and feel very strongly this has to be my time to succeed. I plan to join the July weight challenge after this post.

My cousin's daughter is getting married next July. I am now saying quite affirmatively, I will be a minimum of 60 pounds thinner by that wedding. I know I have packed on at least another 5 pounds and I don't think I ever fully lost the WDW weight. I may very well be back up to my all time highest of 246, who knows. It kills me to write that number. I was down to 213 (sad to be happy but its all relative I suppose) not that long ago. But that's done, I've had a lot happen and I can't imagine what else can go wrong. I intend to post my weigh in's and the number, if people from my real life stumble on my journal and see my weight, big deal. I frankly don't care. I have to be honest and own up to my weight.


I am walking tomorrow at the rec center for the first time in over six weeks. Still don't know the how and why I got off that bandwagon, I was really enjoying it. I guess the WDW trip is probably the culprit but in any case, I loaded more money on my punch card and am ready to go. No more excuses. If I don't post that I exercised tomorrow, you all have my permission to kick my rear!

 

[toystoryduo]

Welcome Back, Amy! We missed you!

 

[lovinaz]

Welcome back!!

So, did you exercise? Or do I get to be the first one to kick your behind?? I hope not, I'm sure you went to the rec center...

I think it takes a lot of guts to post about your weigh-ins. Maybe that is the extra motivation you need.

I think if you schedule in your workouts just like you'd schedule a Dr appt, you will be more apt to stick to it. Maybe you can even have a skipped-a-workout jar and you have to put $$ in it everytime you slack off. Kinda like at the Dr if you miss your appointment?? It's sad to admit, but these are the kind of mental games us girls have to play with ourselves sometimes!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Okay Amy, I haven't exercised yet, but the day ain't over yet so don't go kicking my butt just yet!!!

I forgot ds had an ortho appt. at 11:00, I was about to walk out the door and then suddenly remembered I had rescheudled his appt. for last week when we were out of town for today. So I got him over there almost fifteen minutes late but we made it.

Then I came home and made an appt. for a complete physical on August 1 and a mammogram for this Thursday. Two things I am overdue for and they have been hanging over my head. I also made an appt. for dh. I told them I wanted chorlestral checked, the full thing. I am proud, I HATE going to the doctor. I picked a woman who from her picture looks old and a bit chubby. Sort of sad, I should be looking at where she goes to school etc!

I have spent the entire rest of the day at long last getting stuff unpacked from my mom's. I put a couple of things out in my home shortly after she died but I needed to get the rest of it unpacked. And I got the final things packed for my brother to take to him next month. I also got the old family room furniture arranged down in the basement, gave the whole basement a thorough cleaning and changed all the beds. I cannot tell you how much better I feel about this! This has been bugging me to no end and it feels so good. I had some sad moments unpacking those things, ds bless his heart helped me. So now I need to put those things out and pack away the china that is for dd someday. Again, I feel like I already lost 20 pounds with getting this done and those appt.s made.

Dh is coming home at 6:00 and we are going for a walk. Tomorrow I plan to rec center right after Weight Watchers then take ds to lunch and a movie. Just the two of us, dd has a date at the waterpark with her best friend. I told ds we could go to Rumbi Grill so I can get a salad. He wanted Fat Burger (the name cracks him up, he rarley even eats a burger) and I said forget it. This fat mama isn't eating at fat burger!

I will post later WHEN I walk. Sorry Amy, you aren't going to get any frustrations out with me today!
Food:

Breakfast: Protein Shake
Lunch: Plained grilled chicken sandwich and small order of fries, ice tea
Water: 30 oz. Very pitiful, need to bump that up.
Dinner: Pasta with broccoli and cantaloupe (I'll post now and hopefully stick to that).

Thanks for reading!

 

[Amy&Dan]

I did get my walk in last night. 40 Minutes and it almost killed me. I was dripping in sweat and breathless. Of course I walked after I had a rather large Mexican meal. Dh came home late, ds was sort of bummed he wasn't getting to go to the water park today like his sister and I did what I always do, suggested we eat out. Sort of my "last supper" so to speak. Which is exactly what the book I am reading (per Pearlie's recommendation) says NOT to do.

Dinner on Monday:
Beef Enchilada
1/2 chilie relleno
guacamole
Pepsi

I had regular soda, something I haven't been doing at all. I guess I just felt the need to be really awful with food last night. That should pack on another pound or two before I weigh in today but I am going anyway. Gym bag is packed for after the WW meeting.

I am determined this isn't going to be a diet, but rather yet another try at eating like a normal human being.

I feel really, really positive and hopeful.

 

[lovinaz]

Yay, I'm glad to hear you got that walk in! Guess I'll have to save your butt-kickin' for another day...

I know exactly what you mean about getting the basement cleaning taken care of. It makes everything seem better once you get a big, daunting task like that out of the way!

I'm glad you got your "last supper" out of the way. Time to get serious now! You are in the right frame of mind, nothing can hold you back now!! How did WW and the rec center go this morning?

 

[pearlieq]

I picked a woman who from her picture looks old and a bit chubby. Sort of sad, I should be looking at where she goes to school etc!

I know I've been incommunicado for a while (and I feel terrible I haven't responded to your PM yet. I'm really sorry.) but I just had to stop by and see how you were doing.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss, but I'm glad the family time was good for your. I hope things can settle down for a bit now.

I quoted the bit I did above because it just sums up what a delightful person you are--and I hope someday you grow to be unshakably convinced of it too. It's funny, vulnerable, honest, and totally endearing. I've picked doctors the same way too!

I have so much respect for how honest you are about your struggles and foibles and I hope you know that I'm always cheering you on, even when I'm not around.

It sounds like your full of spirit and ready to rededicate yourself to taking care of yourself and your health. Good for you and go get 'em!