Thank you ladies for keeping me on page one.
Obviously, I didn't log in! I tried, my password was changed and I couldn't get into my email at home (forgot that password too) to check and see what password they had assigned me (I requested a new one when I realized the current one I didn't know). It was really frustrating. I finally just bagged it and thought I"d catch up at home. Oh well. I also had a hard time finding time to get on the laptop since dh had to work most mornings then we would head out to do stuff.
We had a wonderful trip! I ate so badly. I should be so ashamed but I had so much fun and frankly, I guess thats what vacations are for.
Disney Dining Plan: Not sure I will do that again. Its too much food and we wasted so much. Ds is apparently no longer in his growth phase and didn't eat nearly as much as he had been. Dd at age 11 is simply not able to come anywhere near fininshing stuff. At Yachtsmen she saw nothing she wanted and we were about to burn two TS credits on a six dollar plate of kids mac and cheese. Thankfully I came to my senses and asked our waiter if we could pay out of pocket for a kids meal and save the credits. Did that at Brown Derby too. Which was good except that just left us with yet another sit down meal. At 9:50 p.m. last night we had our final meal at Olivia's at OKW, I literally ate a few bites and was just done. That has probably only happed about three other times in my life. I was too full. Most snack credits were used for water bottles or fruit cups or mixed nuts. I did use one last night for a Mickey Bar which I ate at 3:00 a.m. this morning (had stuck it in the freezer and forgot about it until then). I enjoyed the meals but I really feel like so many of the WDW restaurants have shortened the menu's. It sort of all tasted the same. The Olivia's potatoes are also the Turf Club Potatoes, the former O'Hana potatoes and guess what, Yachtsmen serves them too, only they are obviously put into some sort of mold since they come out all nice and even shaped! I tried several times to sub a salad for a dessert, but no dice. So generally we all ordered different desserts, all had a couple of bites of each thing and then the rest was wasted. Except for anyplace that had creme brulee. That I pretty much ate and licked the plate after I polished it off! I tried to be good but it was hard. Most days I didn't eat breakfast, as we would have an early, 11:00 a.m. lunch. If I did eat breakfast it was generally a fresh fruit cup. And the only snack credit I used for myself and ate all of was last night's Mickey Bar (actually the only one we got the whole trip). I drank a ton of ice tea and water. I had exactly one regular soda the whole trip so I was proud of that. I did have probably a total of 5 drinks over the course of our 17 nights. Mostly of the fruity variety, so that was a bad thing. But again, we had fun. If I do the Plan again, I'd do more two table service credits so that we could use up our cs credits (didn't even get all of those used up). Its a tough call, I can't eat cs only for a two week trip, I don't want to spend the time eating offsite but the rigidity of having all of these reservations we had to go to also got old. I think its too bad that eating at WDW has gotten so complicated. In all I did some things right but most other things wrong. Its just too hard for me to thow myself under the bus of eating out two meals a day for seventeen days. We also had something like five buffets and while I tried to fill up on fruits and salads at those, I also filled up on other stuff too.
I tried to walk around the resort but that heat was killer. I am just not used to that humidity. So I swam instead. I did quite a bit of water walking and paddling around the pools on a noodle. I would make dd get on the back of the noodle to add another 72 pounds to move around! It was hard work. And a good reminder how my extra 90 pounds I carry 24/7 is hard work on my body and how nice it would be to shed that. We also walked the parks obviously and we did an hour on a surrey bike yesterday which was so fun and a great workout (it was in the heat of the day no less, I haven't sweated that much since I was in hard labor). We also walked between Epcot and Studios a time or two and that was a good 30 minute walk. Although one day it was foolish to do so, it was nearing 100, midday, no shade and I got freaked out since dd looked like she was having heat stroke. We stopped at ESPN for ice tea and didn't do that again. Too bad, that's such a nice walk in October but in June when its blistering hot its not so great! I fast walked around the World Showcase a couple of times. I didn't count my minutes so I didn't make my May challenge although I think I probably did. I just didn't feel like figuring that out and since I couldn't log in, that nixed that. I may go ahead and join June's tomorrow, I need to think about what I can realistically do for the remainder of the month.
I thought about what I need to do to motivate myself to lose weight. I just feel like I have this problem of consistency. I do very well, sometimes for several months, then I just fall apart. Usually because of a trip or some stress with my mom. Since both of those things appear to be more or less done, that should help. I thought about Jenny Craig but its expensive and I am not too keen on three frozen meals a day. So I think I'll stick with the WW, but I don't think I"ll go until next Wednesday the 18th. I would like a week to get some of this trip water/bloat off. I also had TOM for the first time since January on the trip. So who knows if I am going to start that back up or if maybe it was a fluke. I weighed when I got home and according to my scale I gained 13 pounds. Of course this was after a large lunch at On the Border and a 32 oz. bottle of water. I am hopeful to lessen that down to more like around 7 pounds by next week. We'll see. I have the book Pearlieq recommended to read as well as a motivational book I bought at Weight Watchers just before I left. And I have all of you! I need to stay consistent with my journal and yours' since your success and experiences really motivate me.
I guess in essence I feel somewhat discouraged but also a sense of "this is it, nothing to stop me now" kind of feeling. I mean I was really doing well until we went to WDW for five days in April, came home from that and just never got totally back on track before we left for this last trip. I think I had this feeling of, "
DDP is on the horizon, what's the use". I have a coupe of months before we leave for Nebraska to see my brother. I don't anticipate that being much of a food fest, I am not sure Omaha is known for its fabo cuisine and since we'll just be there to meet up, spend two days splashing in the hotel pool with four kids, I don't see how that's going to be a deal breaker for me. Now that my mom is gone, we as a family don't have this need to escape the caretaker role and travel so much. Which is a good thing since airfare is killer and the high price of living day to day makes travelling more than once or twice year a moot point anyway. I am really thinking that not having a trip every few months will help me stay on track. I hope so.
I cannot help but think that if I can't handle this on my own, maybe I need to look at surgery. I simply hate myself and cannot live like this for the rest of my life. But I hate that thought too. I think a good nights sleep in my own bed, a trip to the grocery store and laying off restaurant meals for a few weeks will really help me get refocused and back on track. I have to believe in myself and I do and yet my success rate is so lousy its hard to sometimes.
Thank you again for all the good wishes, I missed you guys while I was gone, and promise to get caught up on your journals tomorrow and Tuesday.
in FL Wish Sis!!
All we can do is support them, and be honest with them. 
Don't forget to have an Orange Slush for me in Epcot!
