Well we are back home. Actually its sort of nice to be home now that we are back. We left yesterday on an 8:25 flight, omg that was not fun. We had to leave All Star Music at 5:20 only to show up at the ME stop and find out the driver had come 15 minutes early and left without us. I was furious. Naturally we got the "well ME is really not Disney, its Mears" so we had to get a cab. The ME guy there at Music said this happens all the time, so lesson learned. Get there more like 20 minutes early in case they do. I have no doubt the people at Sports and Coronado Springs got screwed up too since he was also early for those resorts. Other than that we had a picture perfect trip. Perfect weather, sort of heavy on the crowds but we had a really nice time.
Foodwise, I didn't do well at all after the first two days. Day one I started out strong. I had sugar free, ff yogurt at the food court while Dan and the kids ate like pigs, then we had Crystal Palace for dinner, I concentrated on eating chicken with the skin peeled off and lots of veggies (they had steamed broccolli and I ate a bunch of that). I just let myself sample a few desserts, taking a bite or two and then letting dh and the kids finish off the rest. So I felt pretty proud. Shared food the next day with dd primarly and again, sort of ate what I wanted and stopped when I was full. The next day however I fell apart at the Hoop Dee Doo Review and it just sort of went from there. I had way too much fried food, corn bread slathered with butter and of course washed it down with the free beer. What the heck, I had thought all along I would just live free and happy at that meal. But in true form to me, I never got back on the wagon. I started off the next morning by going for breakfast at the food court and finding out we had missed it so I was miffed and solved that problem by having chilie cheese fries. Need I say more? The worst day of all was the last day when we ate our way around Epcot with our friends. I literally felt ill. And it was hot and muggy, I was having a bad hair day and I spent the day eating too much and feeling so fat and unattractive. I hate those kinds of days. I just kept looking at all the various body shapes and thinking about how I should look like this woman, or that woman.
I had the beer at the Hoop Dee Doo and then two beers at Fantasmic, but other than that just stuck to ice tea and water. Got my water in all days and I did walk quite a bit around the resort and the parks. I gave myself 60 minutes a day for activity which I think was fair and probably even pretty light compared to what I actually did. I have no idea if I gained, I don't plan to step on the scale for a few days. My feet and fingers are swollen so that tells me I am holding some water.
We had a great time. But I realized again, that my weight really clouds my life. There we were having a wonderful, beautiful day at Epcot with friends and the feelings of being fat (caused primarily becuase I was feeling enormous guilt and anger with myself due to the way I had been eating the past three days). I thought about it on the plane ride home and realized that I need to work on the whole concept of eating freely for a day or a meal but getting back on the wagon. I tend to fall off and stay off for days, weeks, months. I had taco bell for dinner last night and again, the guilt was so not worth the taste. Today I feel on track, we'll see. Dd is home sick, woke up and barfed early this morning so I won't make the gym. My feet are so sore, I may just take this day off from exercising, get unpacked, organized and I plan to grocery shop. We are out of basically everthing so that needs to be addressed. I can't eat well if I have not healthy food to eat!
We leave again in a month. I would love to just concentrate on eating healthy and maybe lose a few pounds by then. I also think it will help we are NOT staying at a resort that has a food court. I did well the first two days but then I just lost control. Its very hard for me to make good choices when there are so many bad ones readily available. Also, they didn't have the nice healthy sandwiches in their grab and go section that the Pop Century food court did. I was counting on those so that was a bummer. They did have fruit but would frequently run out. They never seemed to run out of chocolate cake in the grab and go (had a couple of pieces of course) and the chilie cheese fries also seemed to be right there when I didn't need them! I can handle haivng had three very bad days of eating. But for a 16 day vacation, if I only do well the first two or three days and then fall off the wagon the rest, I will be in serious trouble. So I need to keep working on the emotional eating and working on my ability to portion control and think how I will feel AFTER I eat the piece of cake or the order of fries. I need to do what my daughter does! She ate about two bites of the chocolate cake they had at the food court and then said "if I eat all this I will be miserable". Yeah, honey you sure will. I ought to know.
I guess I"ll just be happy with my two good days, the fact I did walk, drank my water and only filled my mug with ice tea. Didn't have one regular soda or even a diet one the whole time.
I will get caught up with all of you guys throughout the day. Thanks for reading and keeping me on page one!