Am I wrong.. or him?

[cindys_castle2011]

Okay, so this might be long and then it might not. I don't know yet..

Anyways, my friend found out about two summers ago that the man she thought was her dad.. wasn't. She didn't find out through her mom she found out by her friends.. they all knew cause their parents knew and all that.

So she asked her mom about it, and indeed it was true. The man who is her REAL dad.. no BIOLOGICAL FATHER (we're not allowed to call him her dad in anyway) He left her mom like 4 months before she was born.

So he's not suppose to have ANYTHING to do with her. After she was born about a year or two he kept trying to get some custody over her but the judge said NONE what so ever. So he's not suppose to talk to her or anything.

Well a few months ago, he found out over facebook/myspace that her boyfriend's mom is one of his old friends. So he took her boyfriend and his mom out to dinner one night, just to find stuff out about her. And then he invited them to him house. Her bf said that he had picture's of her in his house.

(I don't understand how he has them.. so her mom HAS to have something to do with that.)

Well he tries to talk to her everyday on facebook but she never replies or anything. Here lately he has been coming to me to get to her.

He IM'd me earlier and said this:

him- How are you & my daughter doing?

me- We're good..thanks.

him- Thats good, how is school?

me- Good..

Then I signed off IM, because of that.. and he wrote me a message!

It said:

him- I know it is strange for her since she was so young when her mom kept her from me. I tried to be there everyday of her life but it was very hard fighting (her mom), (grandpa) and their friend the judge. I never stopped loving her and won't.

me- I can't say i know how you feel, because i don't. But i bet its hard having to stay away from her. I'm sorry but coming through me isn't really the best thing to do at the moment. And i'm not trying to be rude.. but its making me uncomfortable. This really isn't any of my business, so i shouldn't be a part of it

him- i know but somebody close to her but on the outside needs to be there for her and I think you are the one she needs. I am not trying to put you in the middle but I have to know she is ok at all times and sometimes she can't let me know because her mom may find out. Sorry for making you feel awkward

(And I didn't reply back)

I mean.. should I keep him informed about her.. or just completely ignore him. I feel like I'm doing the right thing when I don't. But then he comes and makes me feel back for him..

 

[MickeyisBeast]

Her dad sounds like a whack to me, I don't think you should tell him anything, I think it would be safer for your friend and for you if you don't tell him anything, he has no right to know if the Judge had to do whatever with him. You don't know what her dad would do if you even told him the slightest bit of information. I may be thinking too much, but you never know what may happen. It's always better to be on the safe side.

 

[imabrat]

Ignore him! A grown man who IMs a teenage girl to keep tabs on his daughter is just creepy - that's just too weird.

 

[reminisce]

well, it depends on circumstance. no one can tell you what to do here...


but why didn't the judge give him at least visitation privilages? Sounds kind of suspicious, if you ask me. How did he get the pictures? How can he love her if he doesn't know her?

I would just stay out of it without the answers to those questions. You may want to tell your friend's mom that he's been contacting you, though.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I think it's best not to. It sounds like a sad situation, but like you said, it's kind of a personal family thing.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

I'd ignore him. How'd he get your screen name? (Rhetorical question here.)
Don't get involved in your friend's family business.

 

[aquarhapsody]

Well, if my friend's dad, who was banned from talking to her was trying to get info about her from me...



I'd avoid it. He obviously wants information from other people, which would freak me out, disclosing her privacy to someone I didn't know.

I don't know the man, but that seems like the thing to do in this situation.

 

[Sparx]

don't talk to him anymore. please block him on facebook.

the way he blames her mom really reminds me of the way my biological father blames MY mom for him leaving me when i was 4.

the damage is done, and he can't undo it. you're going against your friend's mother's wishes if you give him any information.

the man might be dangerous. be careful, but do not talk to him anymore.

 

[empiretink33]

i feel so bad for ur friend!!! personally i agree with everyone just ignore him you dont need to get involoved You should just ignore that guy and just support ur friend as much as you can!! I hope things get better dont lose hope XD

 

[DramaQueen]

that sounds really sketchy to me.
please don't keep in contact with this man, it'll just be a toxic situation for everyone involved!!
i hope everything works out and you can keep yourself out of the iffy position this man has put you in.
be there for your best friend if/when she needs, and ignore this man.
if she wants him to know how she's doing it's up to her to decide that.
it's really sketchy that this guy is trying to get info through you

you definitely did the right thing by telling him you felt uncomfortable.

 

[life of the party]

safest thing to do is stay out of it.

her mom, grandpa, & the judge obviously wanted to keep him away from her for a reason.

if his missing her its sincere, i feel bad for him.
but he has to stay away.
and you shouldnt go out of your way to help him.

 

[stitchgonecrazy]

it sounds very dodgy i agree with everyone else ignore him.