Am I wrong for feeling this way? Venting.

[abdmom]

OP, quick question just for clarity...do you live in NYC or in Florida? I'm curious as I imagine the living conditions, costs and job market are probably quite different in the two places.

Earlier in the thread, she said she moved to Florida from NYC in August to move in with her mom.

 

[disneyfreakk]

OP, quick question just for clarity...do you live in NYC or in Florida? I'm curious as I imagine the living conditions, costs and job market are probably quite different in the two places.

I am not always in Texas, but I am not going to change my profile every time I post! Actually, I am in PA right now and have been for the last 3 1/2 years. But my heart will always be in TX.

I think some of you guys are looking too hard for trolls! LOL

Some people just have crappy luck at times. It happens to the best of us.

 

[jen0610]

I am not always in Texas, but I am not going to change my profile every time I post! Actually, I am in PA right now and have been for the last 3 1/2 years. But my heart will always be in TX.

I think some of you guys are looking too hard for trolls! LOL

Some people just have crappy luck at times. It happens to the best of us.

And it could be that they know of someone who works with a food bank that they would be willing to PM this contacts info to the OP, if they knew weither it was actually Queens that she was living in or Orlando.

If the OP lived here near FTW, I have a name I could give her to get in touch with. Have known this lady for years and she will tell you that there are those people she knows of who have a great need, that will NEVER come to the food closet because of pride or the thought that someone else needs it more. While there are others, that she can set her watch by on their being there to get food every single week.

 

[Scurvy]

The thing about food banks is that they are there for those who need them. If someone is in a position to need it, then there is no shame in making use of the services which are available. And then, when the situation has passed and you are in a better position, you can donate so that others can use the food bank when they are in need.

OP, what it all boils down to is that you do of course has the right to be unhappy about the situation. I think anyone would feel taken advantage of in the situation you describe. But as many posters have pointed out, your guest can only take advantage of you if you let her. You and your mother have to decide what you want out the the situation -whether you want her gone completely or just want her to pay to stay with you - and you need to let her know your expectations. Or you can just decide that the current situation doesn't bother you as much as you thought it did, and choose to leave things the way they are.

Did she come back yet? Have you had the chance to discuss the situation with her? I hope it went well if you did, or will go well if you haven't done it yet.

 

[IheartMickey]

I use DISboards on my phone, I use the app and there isn't a way to change your profile location with the app. I guess today I'll go on my computer to fix it since its been such a confusion.

I live in Central Florida, about 40 minutes from WDW. My mom and I both moved at the same time from our home in Queens to an apartment here in FL.

My mom and I both discussed the amount we are going to ask for, we have a set amount to tell her. I called the utility company and the billing cycle hasn't ended yet. Once we have a number from the utility company we are going to tell her X amount towards living here, plus X amount for the utilities. If she does not want to pay, then she's going to have to give us the utility money and leave. She does not have a key to the apartment, so we could easily kick her out.

 

[SgtClaymore]

I think it's time for you to stop playing nice and take control because it definitely sounds like she is taken advantage of her situation!

 

[cornflake]

I use DISboards on my phone, I use the app and there isn't a way to change your profile location with the app. I guess today I'll go on my computer to fix it since its been such a confusion.

I live in Central Florida, about 40 minutes from WDW. My mom and I both moved at the same time from our home in Queens to an apartment here in FL.

My mom and I both discussed the amount we are going to ask for, we have a set amount to tell her. I called the utility company and the billing cycle hasn't ended yet. Once we have a number from the utility company we are going to tell her X amount towards living here, plus X amount for the utilities. If she does not want to pay, then she's going to have to give us the utility money and leave. She does not have a key to the apartment, so we could easily kick her out.

Unless she calls the cops and says you won't let her back in and she's a legal tenant. Then you'd have to go to court to get her out.

 

[loveshak22]

Unless she calls the cops and says you won't let her back in and she's a legal tenant. Then you'd have to go to court to get her out.

That wouldn't happen. The only legal tenants are those with names on the lease. If she refuses to leave the OP and her mom should call the cops immediately with a copy of the lease in hand and ask them to remove her because she is a trespasser on their property.

The cops would make the lady leave because she would have no legal standing at that point. They might let her stay if she wasn't on the lease but had a driver's license with that address or a utility bill in her name. However, she doesn't have any of that because it's not her place and she won't have any legal standing.

 

[LisaInNc]

I work at our local food bank.

There is NOTHING wrong with going when you have trouble making ends meet. That is what they are there for.

It sounds like you could use a little help.

There is no shame and no one judges who needs it more. If you ask they give and that is why they are there.

I hope your "guest" makes good!

Lisa

 

[anniemck]

Good luck, hope she doesn't have mail coming to your residence as well because that could establish residency, which would then mean you would have to go through the channels to evict her.


Anyway news about the job yet?

 

[cornflake]

That wouldn't happen. The only legal tenants are those with names on the lease. If she refuses to leave the OP and her mom should call the cops immediately with a copy of the lease in hand and ask them to remove her because she is a trespasser on their property.

The cops would make the lady leave because she would have no legal standing at that point. They might let her stay if she wasn't on the lease but had a driver's license with that address or a utility bill in her name. However, she doesn't have any of that because it's not her place and she won't have any legal standing.

This varies by state but the above is not true in any state I'm even vaguely aware of the laws in.

In most every state I know of - she has absolutely established tenancy, residency, whatever per the state the cops would NOT kick her out, they would in fact require the OP and her mother to let her back in (perhaps they would suggest she - or the OP or her mother - spend the night someplace else to cool off but after that...) and the OP and her mother will have to go to court and follow regular eviction proceedings to be able to force her out if she doesn't want to go.

In some states you can have established tenancy if you've stayed for as little as 72 hours. It does NOT require a name on the lease, etc.

 

[goofyintoronto]

This lady is a piece of work. she's using you, plain and simple. I wouldnt just ask her for money, id tell her she needs to find her own place. She has FAMILY members for petesake! She can stay with them if need be! She says you guys are closer to her work than her family is? well boo hoo. Dont we all want to live closer to work? Thats just a pathetic excuse to stay with you longer. Honestly. Time to tell her to pack it up. sorry but one month is way too long.

Sent from my Galaxy SII

 

[disneydee6]

Long and short of it, you need to address that since it has been a month, you need to create a living situation for the three of you, and there is no reason why you CAN'T address it, even if you lead the conversation. Either she contributes in some way, or she needs to make other living arrangements for herself. She may not even realize how much she has taken advantage of, but its definitely time to shed some light on the situation. And who wouldn't be frustrated? You are very kind and patient to offer your room and living space when you have such little finances. Good luck!

 

[IheartMickey]

No, she changed her drivers license and her mail to her sisters address. We wouldn't allow her to use ours.

No news on the job yet, Disney seems to be notoriously slow in their hiring process.

 

[JessB320]

No, she changed her drivers license and her mail to her sisters address. We wouldn't allow her to use ours.

No news on the job yet, Disney seems to be notoriously slow in their hiring process.

Sorry you're dealing with this. I have my fingers crossed for you getting the job!!

 

[loveshak22]

This varies by state but the above is not true in any state I'm even vaguely aware of the laws in.

In most every state I know of - she has absolutely established tenancy, residency, whatever per the state the cops would NOT kick her out, they would in fact require the OP and her mother to let her back in (perhaps they would suggest she - or the OP or her mother - spend the night someplace else to cool off but after that...) and the OP and her mother will have to go to court and follow regular eviction proceedings to be able to force her out if she doesn't want to go.

In some states you can have established tenancy if you've stayed for as little as 72 hours. It does NOT require a name on the lease, etc.

I'd have to research FL law but this lady doesn't even stay there 7 days a week. She does not contribute to rent, have utilities in her name, her driver's license is an address 15 minutes away, she doesn't get mail there, and she has other places to go. Typically you have to have something to establish that you are more than an unwelcome guest (and most Google searches on unwanted guests when you read the story the person has been there months and months, gets mail there, contributes something to the household and really are more than unwanted guests).

Regardless, you may be right. However, I'd still call the cops and I think this situation is a lot different than most in that this woman isn't even living there all week. She's got two or three places she's going between and with that I think the OP and her mom have more rights than a guest who has moved in and has made the place their primary residency.

 

[ronandannette]

This varies by state but the above is not true in any state I'm even vaguely aware of the laws in.

In most every state I know of - she has absolutely established tenancy, residency, whatever per the state the cops would NOT kick her out, they would in fact require the OP and her mother to let her back in (perhaps they would suggest she - or the OP or her mother - spend the night someplace else to cool off but after that...) and the OP and her mother will have to go to court and follow regular eviction proceedings to be able to force her out if she doesn't want to go.

In some states you can have established tenancy if you've stayed for as little as 72 hours. It does NOT require a name on the lease, etc.

You. Are. Kidding. Me!! That is mind-boggling.

No, she changed her drivers license and her mail to her sisters address. We wouldn't allow her to use ours.

No news on the job yet, Disney seems to be notoriously slow in their hiring process.

OP, based on the above it sounds like you were VERY smart to insist she use another mailing address, although it would take someone particularly diabolical to try and bring these rules into force against a kind soul that had offered a helping hand.

 

[cornflake]

I'd have to research FL law but this lady doesn't even stay there 7 days a week. She does not contribute to rent, have utilities in her name, her driver's license is an address 15 minutes away, she doesn't get mail there, and she has other places to go. Typically you have to have something to establish that you are more than an unwelcome guest (and most Google searches on unwanted guests when you read the story the person has been there months and months, gets mail there, contributes something to the household and really are more than unwanted guests).

Regardless, you may be right. However, I'd still call the cops and I think this situation is a lot different than most in that this woman isn't even living there all week. She's got two or three places she's going between and with that I think the OP and her mom have more rights than a guest who has moved in and has made the place their primary residency.

I forgot about the going to someone else's place on weekends - good point.

I don't know the specific law in Fla. either, and that may be a factor. As I said, most places I know of if she tried to fight it, they'd need to start regular eviction proceedings.

She's got a room, she's presumably got stuff there, she's been staying there a good while (though again the weekend thing may be a hitch), she cooks and eats there, etc.

It's not about the address on a license or such, but that they're there.

 

[loveshak22]

I forgot about the going to someone else's place on weekends - good point.

I don't know the specific law in Fla. either, and that may be a factor. As I said, most places I know of if she tried to fight it, they'd need to start regular eviction proceedings.

She's got a room, she's presumably got stuff there, she's been staying there a good while (though again the weekend thing may be a hitch), she cooks and eats there, etc.

It's not about the address on a license or such, but that they're there.

True - all her stuff is there and who knows what story she'd give the cops about having another place to go if they got called. You're probably right about the cops not kicking her out but I'd definitely try and point to everything I could that it wasn't her residence. I have read horror stories about people refusing to leave someone's house...could you imagine! Then you are stuck having to go to court to get them out of there? Craziness!

OP - don't let us scare you! It probably won't come to this by any means. This lady sounds like a moocher but not neccessarily one who wouldn't be scared by at least a "threat" of calling the police. She'll probably pack up and run when you ask for money!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Does your lease limit the number of people allowed to live in the home? Leases often do so. That might be an easy way to get her out. Tell her it was okay for a short while, as a visitor, but your landlord is not okay with this long term, show her the lease. That COULD possibly help you in the event she tried to claim she is residing there and not leave as well.

And I agree that laws can make it very easy for a "squatter" to suddenly claim residency and the rightful residents to not be able to get her out. Keep insisting no mail come to you and try to document somehow that this is temporary and only on week days.