Am I overstepping my bounds here?

[rigs32]

Cigar smoke is so strong. I feel for that neighbor, no matter how difficult she can be.

 

[mom2rtk]

WHY do smokers feel this way?

Yes-there is the WHOLE wide world to go....take a walk and smoke-go to the park.....the parking lot
If you are THAT close to a neighbor it is INCONSIDERATE to smoke there
why can't smokers "get it"????????????????????????????????

He means there's nowhere to smoke that is convenient for him.

 

[Hikergirl]

WHY do smokers feel this way?

Yes-there is the WHOLE wide world to go....take a walk and smoke-go to the park.....the parking lot
If you are THAT close to a neighbor it is INCONSIDERATE to smoke there
why can't smokers "get it"????????????????????????????????

You could turn the tables and say why don't people who live in town homes get it? If you choose to live so close to another person then you choose to deal with what that person does on their own property. If that poster's father is on his own porch, or his own part of a shared porch he doesn't have to go find another spot to smoke.


OP, I would go to the smoker directly and explain what is happening with the smoke and ask if he can move somewhere else.

 

[NewRVLady]

You could turn the tables and say why don't people who live in town homes get it? If you choose to live so close to another person then you choose to deal with what that person does on their own property.

If that poster's father is on his own porch, or his own part of a shared porch he doesn't have to go find another spot to smoke.


OP, I would go to the smoker directly and explain what is happening with the smoke and ask if he can move somewhere else.

turning the tables........................I have dealt with a barking dog next door for 5 years. I am less than friendly towards these people because of it
Last summer another neighbor filed a complaint-they were warned by police if situation not changed-they would have to get rid of dog
They FINALLY got a Bark Collar
Now the battery is worn and the barking has resumed....he is doing it right now

I guess we just have to deal with it? right?

 

[Hikergirl]

turning the tables........................I have dealt with a barking dog next door for 5 years. I am less than friendly towards these people because of it
Last summer another neighbor filed a complaint-they were warned by police if situation not changed-they would have to get rid of dog
They FINALLY got a Bark Collar
Now the battery is worn and the barking has resumed....he is doing it right now

I guess we just have to deal with it? right?

If they aren't breaking any laws then unfortunately yes you do have to deal with it. I understand where you are coming from, I live in a nice subdivision with cookie cutter houses right on top of eachother, but I decided to move here.

 

[Lynne M]

Check the language in your lease. A lot of condo and apartment buildings don't allow smoking in "common areas", and that may well include the area were he's smoking. Or, they may permit smoking only within the interior portion of the unit. If that's the case, try again to speak with your neighbor and mention the fact that the lease says he can't be doing that. If he continues, then you'll have to consider whether you want to involve management/the landlord. I would.

For instance, my condo building is going totally smoke-free. No smoking will be allowed in the building or on the grounds. No balconies, no patios, not even in the parking lot. Because we have a handful of units currently owned by smokers, they're allowing smoking in those units until they change ownership, but only within the unit, not on the balcony, and they must take steps to prevent any smoke from getting into common areas or entering another unit.

 

[mom2rtk]

Check the language in your lease. A lot of condo and apartment buildings don't allow smoking in "common areas", and that may well include the area were he's smoking. Or, they may permit smoking only within the interior portion of the unit. If that's the case, try again to speak with your neighbor and mention the fact that the lease says he can't be doing that.

For instance, my condo building is going totally smoke-free. No smoking will be allowed in the building or on the grounds. No balconies, no patios, not even in the parking lot. Because we have a handful of units currently owned by smokers, they're allowing smoking in those units until they change ownership, but only within the unit, not on the balcony, and they must take steps to prevent any smoke from getting into common areas or entering another unit.

Yeah, I can't imagine this hasn't come up before.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

You should show him information about vaping.

 

[MillauFr]

It is really bad when the potheads light up here. You can smell that nastiness from blocks away when the wind is blowing right.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am not familiar with the 'shared balcony' thing. But it seems that each of you is entitled to your half of the balcony.
Is he actually crossing over to what is considered your area?
I would do something, with a partition, planters, balcony furniture, whatever, to block him from entering your half.
In fact, I wouldn't want to be in a situation to where neighbors or others had free access to set up shop right in front of my personal windows.
If he wants to smoke anywhere on her half of her balcony while he is her guest, then you can't really do anything, at all, about that.

You know what would be funny!!!! Okay, I am being very mean and letting my mind go places it shouldn't!!! Hahaha!!!
Every time he would light up in the evening, start up some loud audio of some very adult and risque bedroom activities...
But, instead of being uncomfortable, he would probably be trying to get a peek!!!!
Okay, sorry...

 

[NewRVLady]

Put a plant on a table
Every time he lights up go out with a BIG mister and start spraying the whole area- even him!
Good way to train a dog too Lol

 

[Jaya]

Get a couple cans of the cheapest strongest "air freshener" you can find (extra points if it smells like filling station bathroom deodorizer). When he starts smoking outside your window, start spraying out the window. Unfortunately, you will have to smell the stink'um, too, for a little while, but he should eventually get the point and find somewhere else to smoke.

If he has the "right" to smoke there, you also have the "right" to cover up the smell.

 

[Missy1961]

WHY do smokers feel this way?

Yes-there is the WHOLE wide world to go....take a walk and smoke-go to the park.....the parking lot
If you are THAT close to a neighbor it is INCONSIDERATE to smoke there
why can't smokers "get it"????????????????????????????????

You do realize that most parks don't allow smoking, right?

And I hate cigarette and cigar smoke myself, but why should a smoker have to leave his backyard to smoke? What if I like to cook smelly food on my grill? Do you have a right to tell me to stop? A smoker is doing something legal, and if he/she wants to smoke in their backyard, they should be allowed to.

OP, I would talk directly to the smoker, and ask if he could please move away from your window. Maybe his sister never said anything to him.

 

[tvguy]

I would saw something to the guy.

And slightly off topic, I had to look up the weather for Huntington Beach, but I can't believe you don't have A/C.

Huntington Beach Average Weather
Month Temp. (min) Temp. (max)
August 62°F 96°F
September 56°F 102°F
October 46°F 99°F
November 45°F 93°F

 

[Plaid Princess]

Sorry guys, I should have been more clear... I have spoken to him directly as well, he only cares about not getting kicked out of his sisters house. I'm just trying to decide if it's worth my time to readdress the problem with my neighbor directly. I also wanted to make sure I wasn't being overly sensitive about the smoke (I'm allergic, so I react to it more quickly than most can even smell it).

Maybe you should consider running a fan facing out the window? That would help pull hot air out of the house and hopefully repel some of the smoke.

Yes, I've definitely done that, and it helps a bit!

And slightly off topic, I had to look up the weather for Huntington Beach, but I can't believe you don't have A/C.

Huntington Beach Average Weather
Month Temp. (min) Temp. (max)
August 62°F 96°F
September 56°F 102°F
October 46°F 99°F
November 45°F 93°F

Wow, those highs are definitely not normal where I'm at, we usually average high 70's low 80's in the summer. But yes, most smaller properties don't have AC if they're on the coast (inland stuff definitely does).

 

[PrincessShmoo]

see-I d get a window AC right now-some are small and inexpensive

But doesn't a window air conditioner pull the air from outside to cool? You'd be pulling in the smoke-filled air and cooling it down to blow into the room.

 

[ready123go]

Sorry guys, I should have been more clear... I have spoken to him directly as well, he only cares about not getting kicked out of his sisters house. I'm just trying to decide if it's worth my time to readdress the problem with my neighbor directly. I also wanted to make sure I wasn't being overly sensitive about the smoke (I'm allergic, so I react to it more quickly than most can even smell it).



Yes, I've definitely done that, and it helps a bit!



Wow, those highs are definitely not normal where I'm at, we usually average high 70's low 80's in the summer. But yes, most smaller properties don't have AC if they're on the coast (inland stuff definitely does).

I would strongly consider approaching your neighbor before you start making legal or other waves. If you start citing by-laws and bringing authorities into it, you are upping the ante, so-to-speak.

1) You are allergic, so you have a definite, legitimate health concern. It isn't just that you find it unpleasant.

2) You have spoken to him directly and he simply doesn't care.

Why not approach his sister with something like, "Your brother is smoking outside my window. I've spoken to him and he is still doing it. I not simply griping about an annoyance here, I am allergic. I have tried using a fan, and it's just not cutting it. I intend to keep using the fan, but in addition to the fan, where on your side, is an acceptable place for him to smoke?"

Once again, be very clear, unemotional and matter-of-fact. I think that's your best next step.

 

[MrsDuck]

I would absolutely talk to the sister and the man-child again!

 

[Plaid Princess]

I would strongly consider approaching your neighbor before you start making legal or other waves. If you start citing by-laws and bringing authorities into it, you are upping the ante, so-to-speak.

1) You are allergic, so you have a definite, legitimate health concern. It isn't just that you find it unpleasant.

2) You have spoken to him directly and he simply doesn't care.

Why not approach his sister with something like, "Your brother is smoking outside my window. I've spoken to him and he is still doing it. I not simply griping about an annoyance here, I am allergic. I have tried using a fan, and it's just not cutting it. I intend to keep using the fan, but in addition to the fan, where on your side, is an acceptable place for him to smoke?"

Once again, be very clear, unemotional and matter-of-fact. I think that's your best next step.

Thanks for the advice! I really don't want to try bringing lawyers etc. into it, worst case scenario I'll just swap our master bedroom for the slightly smaller guest bedroom. My main hesitation is in the fact that I know my neighbor will kick her brother out if she finds out he's been bothering us, and I don't want to cause a family problem. It might have come to that though. :-/

 

[tvguy]

Wow, those highs are definitely not normal where I'm at, we usually average high 70's low 80's in the summer. But yes, most smaller properties don't have AC if they're on the coast (inland stuff definitely does).

LOL. Like my cousin in Calgary, proudly showing off his new $1 million + house while hosting a family reunion, DURING A HEATWAVE, and a mutual cousin's only comment was...as we are all dying from the heat....."you couldn't spend another $6,000 for A/C?".