Am I in the wrong

[AbbyPan]

I:

AbbyPan- I totally sympathize. We just got a call like that as well, of the "oh, we invited so and so to come along so please add them to your guest list, I am sure there will be room. Not like the numbers count, no one will notice" variety. (almost the exact words ) I agree that we just have to grin and bear it, because it is not worth feeding the drama, it's easier sometimes to add the extra place setting!

Are you Kidding ME? WOW, I almost cannot believe that one. Numbers absolutely count!!! I am so sorry about that, how rude! and to boot, you have to deal with your family drama.

think princess thoughts...princess thoughts...princess thoughts...

I hope your parents can resolve the dress issue with your aunt. I really think it helps to have siblings address eachother - there's a whole 'nother level of frankness and that might help lead to some quick resolving agreement.

 

[laura forbes]

I am sorry I really see your point and I agree that if she is not going to get the dress to cut her out of the wedding If she still comes to the wedding she will have to spend roughly the same amount on a dress as her own outfit so its her loss but... I do agre with girli565 in some respects, I have only been a bridesmaid once at my sisters wedding and I was expected to pay my own dress, wrap, hair, makeup and shoes and then the gift on top of that, also I life away from all of my family so had to pay travel and hotel costs all in all it cost me about £500/$1000 dollars. Now to make it worse my sister who was supposed to be my bridesmaid is currently refusing to come to my wedding for several reasons the main one cost (despite me saying I will pay for her and her family) even though she has been saying for the last 6 months she is really excited about coming.

 

[smoof]

You are totally in the right!

 

[Indy's Girl]

Now to make it worse my sister who was supposed to be my bridesmaid is currently refusing to come to my wedding for several reasons the main one cost (despite me saying I will pay for her and her family) even though she has been saying for the last 6 months she is really excited about coming.

I am so sorry! That is difficult, especially with someone as close as your sister. Maybe you could ask her if there is something else going on? I would just reaffirm to her that you plan on paying for the family and that she does not need to worry about cost. I hope that she comes around and you can work it out!

Just as an update, my dad talked to the aunt tonight and I guess they went ahead and ordered the dress so I can stop worrying! I think it really did just need that sibling to sibling talk to get it done, so thank goodness he was willing to step in. Thanks for all your support ladies! You have really helped me stay calm and get perspective, I appreciate it!

 

[laura forbes]

I am so glad everything is sorted. I am going to speak to my sis she is expecting a baby soon so gonna wait till after that i have lots of time to work on her.

 

[PrincessLinds]

Your aunt's attitude is NOT acceptable. That is an outrage that she should expect you to pay for the dress. I think you should tell them that with all your other expenses, it just isn't fair for you to have to pay for her dress. Hopefully they will be understanding, but if not, I would say that since it seems to be too much trouble for them to order the dress on their own, that maybe your cousin should bow out of the wedding party, since you don't want to cause them any hassle (it's a subtle way of pointing out the hassle they are causing you).

That said, I can totally relate to difficult relatives when it comes to weddings, and I'm not even engaged yet! I grew up and live in Connecticut, but my mother is from Seattle. She moved here when she married my dad, but her 2 brothers and 2 sisters and their families are all in Seattle. I visit them every year and have been out there for every family wedding since I was born: seven of them. And last year when I was out there for my uncles wedding, I was chatting with 2 of my aunts (one is my mom's sister and one is her sister in law) and they said that unless I got married out there, they wouldn't be going because it's too far and too expensive for them to travel. I didn't even know what to say. First of all, why would you upset me like that when it's not even an issue yet since I'm not engaged, and second, would it kill them to make ONE trip east considering all the times I've been out there to see them? (2 weeks a year every year since I was born.) It's like, thanks, it's nice to know how unimportant I am to you, you know?

So the bottom line is, you're not alone. We almost all have to deal with difficult relatives. I really hope you get it resolved!

 

[yyyy]

boot them out of the wedding!