Am I being Judgemental?

[wowsmom]

Oh. But it is not their money They didn't EARN it.

As a taxpayer, we all have a say in what people do with OUR money.

Of course, since we are all polite, we just come to The DIS and vent

 

[hentob]

Ok, mine is simular but hurt me personally so much. Family owed us money and went to Disney and stayed extra days because they were having so much fun. They never paid us what was owed. This was not a loan - I know better. This was a debt we had to take on for the family (emergency situation) who all promised to make monthly payments - only one did (and to her credit she paid some extra to make up for others). I try so hard to forgive and forget about it, but it has been so hard knowing I work so hard and was expected to pay someone elses debt, while we have put our trip off.

Ouch

 

[eliza61]

Week before last, dh's family was around. One family member shares her woes about how her husband works only such and such hours because if they work too many more, they'll lose food stamps and goes on to whine that they don't have $350 for their heating bill. She further talks about how she can't work b/c she can't afford a sitter and of course, if she works, she'll lose govt assistance. Which really began to irritate me. Her husband works less than 20 hours per week. She doesn't work at all. Haven't they heard of working opposite shifts? Both kids are in school from 8-3. Can one of them not get a full time and the other a part time working opposite shifts? And then comes the clincher for me--somehow, she was able to pay $2000 for an upcoming Disney trip! Now, how do you pay to go to WDW when you don't have $350 for your gas bill?

I said nothing to her, but my question is this, am I being too judgemental?

Nope,
When my close family & friends begin to whine to me, I try to be very understanding and patient. I mean, every body has down times but some times people need a wake up call (or a slap to the head with a 2X4) You are better than me, I would have probably nicely suggested she take part of her disney fund and pay her gas bill.

 

[eliza61]

1
5. How you think they should handle their money.
.

I have a sister who is a notorious mooch, she asked for a loan (yet again) to pay for her rent and then got an attitude when I told her I would not give her cash, but I would drop off a check to her landlord. It felt so good to tell her take it or leave it, that's the way it was going to be.

 

[tayandjensmom]

I've been a lurker for a LONG time, but this post made me want to register. My dh's brother and wife are the exact same way! They want everything for nothing. Talk about having their hand out constantly. She doesn't work, he takes no overtime that is offered almost weekly. Yet they have no money and can't pay their heating bill. They actually went to a church in town, (they do not attend any church) and asked for assistance to pay the heat bill. They gave them $500.00 to help. Yet not 2 weeks later, they did a weekend away because of all the stress...WTH ?? You can't pay your bill, but your spending 2 nights in a hotel, eatting out every meal, and enjoying yourself? Makes us sick. Its hard not to judge people like this. We have learned to keep our distance, I don't want to hear their stories and how they get around the system.

 

[Pigeon]

You're judging her, so yes, of course that makes you judgemental.

She, OTOH, is irresponsible.

There, now I'm being judgemental, too!

 

[sarahlovesmickey]

As the economy gets bleaker, the working class folks are going to get angrier and angrier at the fact that they have to clothe, feed and house lazy people.

Having a child when you have no money to feed that child is a poor decision. I have said it before, I think you should be required take some form birth control if you are on welfare. If you don't want to take birth control--No problem. No FREE money for you then. It is your choice.

Also, everyone must work. No matter what. You get a check? You work! Someone will be assigned to watch your existing children, but you must put in 40 hours of whatever (garbage clean up, sweeping, sorting, etc.) in order to pick up your FREE money.

EIC? Please don't get me started

Yes, I received an email a few months back that listed what the stipulations should be if you receive welfare and one of those stipulations was birth control. Yeah, EIC....my friend calls it the UNearned Income Credit.

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

As the economy gets bleaker, the working class folks are going to get angrier and angrier at the fact that they have to clothe, feed and house lazy people.

Having a child when you have no money to feed that child is a poor decision. I have said it before, I think you should be required take some form birth control if you are on welfare. If you don't want to take birth control--No problem. No FREE money for you then. It is your choice.

Also, everyone must work. No matter what. You get a check? You work! Someone will be assigned to watch your existing children, but you must put in 40 hours of whatever (garbage clean up, sweeping, sorting, etc.) in order to pick up your FREE money.

EIC? Please don't get me started

EXACTLY!!! I have a sister in law who is pregnant with her 7th child!! She doesn't work. Her DH barely works. They are on state assistance for medical and food. If you are receiving assitance of any sort then you don't go and bring more children into the situation.

And I'm with you, if you don't want to take birth control, no problem, than no FREE money! Because that's what it is free off of my working back!! The thing is, these kids aren't accidents (even though that's the line she ALWAYS gives )! She always said if she ever had to have a C-Section she'd get her tubes tied. Well, she had the c-section and did NOT get the tubes tied. Another family member even reminded her of saying that but she didn't want to. And that's fine, this is a free country and you don't have to take any medication you don't want to. You don't have to have any medical procedures you don't want to. But in that vein be a grown up responsible adult and take care of your own darn self and family!!

I have no problems helping people who need it. NONE at all. But don't keep having more kids, bringing more kids into the situation when you obviously can't pay for the ones you've already got!!! That's my biggest beef. Get help when you need it, do what you've got to do to better yourself so you can get off the help and by all means DON'T add anymore to the mix!!

stepping off soapbox now.

 

[Jeanne B]

Here's another one for you. My sister quit her job, withdrew all of her money from her retirment plan, and spent all the money. All planned so she could get government assitance to pay for her schooling, food stamps, medical, and daycare for her kid. Meanwhile, she lived off my dying father and conned him into putting all his assets in a trust for her when he died so she could continue to receive assistance until she graduated from school.

 

[DawnM]

Glad our tax dollars could help fund her Disney trip.

 

[DisneyMomJen]

UGH!!! No you are not being judgemental at all. Unfortunately, our government makes it way to easy for people to make welfare a way of life and they will pass that mentality onto their kids. Vicious cycle. Disgusting cycle. This is why the whole welfare system needs a good revamp. So glad that my tax dollars could fund their Disney trip. The "earned income credit" idea is a big joke in my opinion. People on assistance should not even receive a tax return in my opinion because aren't they getting a "tax return" by getting welfare benefits every month???

okay, stepping off my soapbox now...

I so agree with you on this.

 

[creativeamanda]

Nope,
When my close family & friends begin to whine to me, I try to be very understanding and patient. I mean, every body has down times but some times people need a wake up call (or a slap to the head with a 2X4) You are better than me, I would have probably nicely suggested she take part of her disney fund and pay her gas bill.

I almost did that! But I stopped myself. I knew she was hinting at us helping pay her heating bill. I acted deaf. I try to stay out of it. We don't see them often (like once every year). If the kids need something, fine. I'll buy a gift card for groceries and send it up. I'll write a check to the heating company for half the amount. But they need not ask me for a blessed thing again. I will not, and repeat, not help them when they are so willing to blow money needed for bills on a luxury. They need to get their behinds out there, work, and start saving money. Apparently, they think dh and I have it easier. Or that we are spoiled. No--dh was in the same family her husband was in, so that is no excuse and yes, we are spoiled. If you think spoiled equates to us wanting to keep the little bit of money we work for and the government doesn't take from us to pay our bills.

 

[darlak]

Are you sure her upcoming trip isn't a gift? There seems to be lots of that going on.

 

[tasha99]

Well, I'm surprised that I somewhat agree with you. I got slammed on another thread because I get a rather large combination EIC and child tax credit, and we make it to Disney some years. To me, though, there's a difference between filling out your taxes and getting an EIC (still a handout, I agree, but part of the tax code that I did not create) and getting food stamps or welfare and doing the same.

The main problem I see with what they're doing is only working 20 hours a week between the two of them. If they tag teamed worked and still qualified for the EIC, and still had enough left over after paying for their bills to go to WDW, I'd think it was okay.

Seriously, I don't feel too guilty for taking the EIC. The years of my life that my family has qualified have been the early years of my ex's military career (maybe things have changed) and now that I'm a working single mom. I figure I'll be putting more in the system as I get more experience at my job and have fewer tax deductions as my children grow up.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Are you sure her upcoming trip isn't a gift? There seems to be lots of that going on.

Is she a DISer? If so, then of course it is a gift.

 

[beautifultomorrow]

I know how you feel. I have a relative who doesn't work full time because if they did they'd lose their government assistance. THis is the same person who uses food stamps (or whatever the government debit card thingy is) to buy the most expensive brand name groceries you can buy -- stuff I'd never buy and both of us work fulltime. They can't afford (maybe choose not to afford??) to heat their home or use hot water for showers, but take many expensive trips every year, including Disney and cruises. I have convinced myself that everyone chooses to live their life differently and they just have a very different outlook on it than I do!

 

[leahjade]

And boy do these folks know how to work the system! A friend of mine works just enough to still get all kinds of free benefits, free health care, free utilities, free housing, free college for her kids. I usually don't say much but once she started complaining about how this country's health care system sucks and I asked what she was talking about since all her health care is free. And she said "Well, I have to pay for the dentist out of my own money!" Poor thing, I have $1000 deductible on any doctor I see, plus a $500 deductible for prescriptions and pay my own dentist and eye doctor. And my kids work two jobs and my husband works all the overtime he can get to pay our kids' college education. It really needs to stop before those of us who worked are taxed right out of our own homes!

 

[creativeamanda]

Is she a DISer? If so, then of course it is a gift.

Nope--she doesn't have a computer and says she lives too far away to walk to the library (2 miles away--they only have one car). She stated they used their tax return. If they needed to get rid of money, though, they could have paid the heating bill first and gotten ahead on their rent, IMO.

 

[creativeamanda]

And boy do these folks know how to work the system! A friend of mine works just enough to still get all kinds of free benefits, free health care, free utilities, free housing, free college for her kids. I usually don't say much but once she started complaining about how this country's health care system sucks and I asked what she was talking about since all her health care is free. And she said "Well, I have to pay for the dentist out of my own money!" Poor thing, I have $1000 deductible on any doctor I see, plus a $500 deductible for prescriptions and pay my own dentist and eye doctor. And my kids work two jobs and my husband works all the overtime he can get to pay our kids' college education. It really needs to stop before those of us who worked are taxed right out of our own homes!

She's on Medicaid, too. I think my OOP for insurance for the five of us is $227 per month for BCBS, $76 per month for AFLAC, and we still have a $500 deductible, a tiered copay for prescriptions, and have to pay for eyecare (and my eyesight is horrible). Dental is $16 per month and routine care is the only thing covered. I think Medicaid is the reason why they can't have too much money in the bank. But if that's the case, they could have kept the $2000 they paid to Disney to have as a windfall. (or pay the heating bill)

 

[TupperMom7]

My reply to this would be "as long as they don't ask me for money, I don't care what they do". In other words, if they were going around asking relatives for money for the heating bill and then taking a vacation, well then I could understand. But if they are paying their bill and don't have the common sense to save the money in case something comes up, then it's their worry -not yours.