Am I being Judgemental?

[dsnycrzy]

I am indeed one of those people that recieve assistance. I work full time as a teacher and I am a single mother (I am single by choice due to the choices the men in my life have made, my oldest DD's father is in jail for life and my younger DS and DD's decided he wanted to be a drug addict). I work hard everyday and I try to stay as paid up on my bills as possible. I do have a wealthy aunt and uncle that help me with my bills and that because I work hard and out of my sisters and I, I am the only one who DARES to work for a living. My benifits aren't much and I would never refuse a raise because of it (I can only work 40 hours a week) as a matter of fact I just got a $.75 per hour raise. Will my $100-$200 in food stamps disappear? most likely. Will my rent go from $160 to who knows what? DEFINETLY. They also pay some of my childcare, so that will also go up. Will it stop me from doing what I have to everyday as a parent and a funcutioning person in society? NO. Will it stop my yearly disney trips I use my taxes for and make resonable purchases to afford. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!! So anyone who recieves assistance should not get earned income credit (Someone made that statement on page 1), I strongly disagree, I work everyday just like everyone else.

I am sorry if I offend anyone but I am working with what I have and it is hard and I surly look forward to my trip every year. It like magic for my soul .

 

[hentob]

I am indeed one of those people that recieve assistance. I work full time as a teacher and I am a single mother (I am single by choice due to the choices the men in my life have made, my oldest DD's father is in jail for life and my younger DS and DD's decided he wanted to be a drug addict). I work hard everyday and I try to stay as paid up on my bills as possible. I do have a wealthy aunt and uncle that help me with my bills and that because I work hard and out of my sisters and I, I am the only one who DARES to work for a living. My benifits aren't much and I would never refuse a raise because of it (I can only work 40 hours a week) as a matter of fact I just got a $.75 per hour raise. Will my $100-$200 in food stamps disappear? most likely. Will my rent go from $160 to who knows what? DEFINETLY. They also pay some of my childcare, so that will also go up. Will it stop me from doing what I have to everyday as a parent and a funcutioning person in society? NO. Will it stop my yearly disney trips I use my taxes for and make resonable purchases to afford. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!! So anyone who recieves assistance should not get earned income credit (Someone made that statement on page 1), I strongly disagree, I work everyday just like everyone else.

I am sorry if I offend anyone but I am working with what I have and it is hard and I surly look forward to my trip every year. It like magic for my soul .

I am sorry, but I do find it somewhat offensive that you cannot afford to feed your children without MY help, but take yearly trips to Walt Disney World

We can't afford to go every year. I am glad that you are able to with my assistance.

 

[Cruz Family]

Week before last, dh's family was around. One family member shares her woes about how her husband works only such and such hours because if they work too many more, they'll lose food stamps and goes on to whine that they don't have $350 for their heating bill. She further talks about how she can't work b/c she can't afford a sitter and of course, if she works, she'll lose govt assistance. Which really began to irritate me. Her husband works less than 20 hours per week. She doesn't work at all. Haven't they heard of working opposite shifts? Both kids are in school from 8-3. Can one of them not get a full time and the other a part time working opposite shifts? And then comes the clincher for me--somehow, she was able to pay $2000 for an upcoming Disney trip! Now, how do you pay to go to WDW when you don't have $350 for your gas bill?

I said nothing to her, but my question is this, am I being too judgemental?

Welcome to my world! Unfortunately in the city I live, much of this has become a way of life. For instince in my sons school 87% of students qualify for free lunch. Last year he was the only kid in the class that paid for his lunch, but more then half of the kids had cell phones and many were walking around with sneakers costing well over $100. It really is sad IMHO that our sociaity is so enableing!

 

[tasha99]

I am indeed one of those people that recieve assistance. I work full time as a teacher and I am a single mother (I am single by choice due to the choices the men in my life have made, my oldest DD's father is in jail for life and my younger DS and DD's decided he wanted to be a drug addict). I work hard everyday and I try to stay as paid up on my bills as possible. I do have a wealthy aunt and uncle that help me with my bills and that because I work hard and out of my sisters and I, I am the only one who DARES to work for a living. My benifits aren't much and I would never refuse a raise because of it (I can only work 40 hours a week) as a matter of fact I just got a $.75 per hour raise. Will my $100-$200 in food stamps disappear? most likely. Will my rent go from $160 to who knows what? DEFINETLY. They also pay some of my childcare, so that will also go up. Will it stop me from doing what I have to everyday as a parent and a funcutioning person in society? NO. Will it stop my yearly disney trips I use my taxes for and make resonable purchases to afford. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!! So anyone who recieves assistance should not get earned income credit (Someone made that statement on page 1), I strongly disagree, I work everyday just like everyone else.

I am sorry if I offend anyone but I am working with what I have and it is hard and I surly look forward to my trip every year. It like magic for my soul .

Hey, I'm sorry if I offended you by distinguishing between food stamps and EIC. If you're working and qualify for food stamps, that's different in my eyes.

I think it's interesting that in some parts of the country, teachers make really good money and in others they make peanuts.

 

[hentob]

Welcome to my world! Unfortunately in the city I live, much of this has become a way of life. For instince in my sons school 87% of students qualify for free lunch. Last year he was the only kid in the class that paid for his lunch, but more then half of the kids had cell phones and many were walking around with sneakers costing well over $100. It really is sad IMHO that our sociaity is so enableing!

They qualify for free lunch, Section 8 housing, food stamps, EIC, etc. yet they can do things like go to Disney

Just like the DISGUSTING cycle a previous poster mentioned, it goes on and on and on. Children learn this lifestyle from their parents. It continues for generations. They have NO pride. They do not teach PRIDE. They say things like "Well, I work hard. I deserve this!". Um. Hate to break it to ya, we ALL work hard

There is no longer any shame attached to being on the dole. Read it here. People who are on welfare/receive handouts take YEARLY trips to WDW. They go on cruises. They teach their children "Hey, we rely on the government to feed us, but we can still do this!" We DESERVE it


Then their children (because they always have more than one of course!) repeat the cycle.

Again, as times get tough for every working man and woman, this type of bold and shameless behavior will not be looked upon with sympathy much longer.

We're all tired of it

 

[shirleyb]

I am indeed one of those people that recieve assistance. I work full time as a teacher and I am a single mother (I am single by choice due to the choices the men in my life have made, my oldest DD's father is in jail for life and my younger DS and DD's decided he wanted to be a drug addict). I work hard everyday and I try to stay as paid up on my bills as possible. I do have a wealthy aunt and uncle that help me with my bills and that because I work hard and out of my sisters and I, I am the only one who DARES to work for a living. My benifits aren't much and I would never refuse a raise because of it (I can only work 40 hours a week) as a matter of fact I just got a $.75 per hour raise. Will my $100-$200 in food stamps disappear? most likely. Will my rent go from $160 to who knows what? DEFINETLY. They also pay some of my childcare, so that will also go up. Will it stop me from doing what I have to everyday as a parent and a funcutioning person in society? NO. Will it stop my yearly disney trips I use my taxes for and make resonable purchases to afford. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!! So anyone who recieves assistance should not get earned income credit (Someone made that statement on page 1), I strongly disagree, I work everyday just like everyone else.

I am sorry if I offend anyone but I am working with what I have and it is hard and I surly look forward to my trip every year. It like magic for my soul .

DH and I work full time and we've only taken our kids twice in their lifetime and my oldest is 18, so forgive me if I do begrudge that you are using my money for your trips (through EIC).

 

[dsnycrzy]

I am sorry, but I do find it somewhat offensive that you cannot afford to feed your children without MY help, but take yearly trips to Walt Disney World

We can't afford to go every year. I am glad that you are able to with my assistance.

I CAN AFFORD TO FEED MY KIDS AND THEY TAKE TAXES OUT OF MY PAYCHECK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!!! SO TO ME IT EVENS OUT, I PRETTY MUCH PAY FOR EVERYTHING THEY GIVE ME BACK. SO IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME ONE BIT. WOULD I LOVE TO OWN A BIG HOUSE AND PAY TAXES FOR THE PEOPLE ON ASSISTANCE THAT SIT HOME ALL DAY? NO NOT REALLY!!! MY PAYCHECK BI-WEEKLY SAY 80 HOURS. I WORK FULL-TIME AND STILL SURVIVE AND CAN STILL AFFORD MY BUDGET TRIPS TO DISNEY, EVEN WHEN IT MEANS I GET TO USE MY FOOD STAMPS AT THE WALMART FOR SNACK. DON'T FORGET I HAVE WEALTH FAMILY THAT PAY TAXES AND HAVE NO KIDS SO IF ANYONES MONEY I'M USING T THERE AND THAT WITH THEIR APPROVAL SWEETIE.

 

[BeckyScott]

Our situation isn't the same as the OP's, but...

For quite a while, my DH worked full-time, and I worked part-time. Both in fairly crappy jobs, we had two young children, one with special needs. The oldest child was insured thru CHIP, the youngest thru Medicaid. We also received SSI for him. I hate-hate-hated it, because I was always treated like white trash when I had to deal with The System. I'm not an idiot and in fact well-educated, but we got a real curve ball thrown at us and needed help.

Then DH got a better job that included health insurance for all 4 of us. I was so excited to dump Medicaid and SSI. And they were very excited to dump us. And it turned out to be very tricky. The health insurance didn't kick in until DH had been employed 90 days, but Medicaid dumped DS after the first good paycheck. So we went for 2 months with a kid with special needs with no health insurance, just keeping our fingers crossed.

Part of all of those programs is that you can only have so much in assets. And that is where the cheating starts. You're almost forced to be irresponsible. A family of four and we couldn't have more than $2000 in assets, one car didn't count but the other one did, they expected to count everything, jewelry, no savings, no retirement, and they would bust you if you went a penny over. One way of thinking is to say Okay, well those programs are designed for the poor, and if you have money you shouldn't get them. Another way of thinking is to say They're promoting poverty, because if you attempt to be responsible they'll boot you out. We had a choice. Either we attempt to save money for our own and our son's future care and receive no help from the government, or we keep on bein' poor and know he will end up relying on the government when he is an adult. If the government has any money left then. There was no middle ground, and there was no transitioning out.

So, re: the OP, the family couldn't have the money in the bank more than a month or everything would stop. Now, Disney wouldn't have been my first choice, 'cause I've been in that situation and we always had plenty of old debt to use up the money. I don't think that a Disney trip is the best bet-- and I do remember when we were on assistance I sat for years dreaming of taking the kids to Disney and it couldn't happen until DH had been at this better job for two years. But when you're in that situation, you're not thinking about the future, other than the fact that you've got less than a month to make all that money poof-gone.

Perhaps, if you're feeling the need to open your mouth most utility companies will accept payments in advance, having a credit on your account. Maybe the sis doesn't know you can do that? Some people don't realize you can do that. That would have gotten the money out of their account while still being responsible with it. Maybe you could suggest that for next year's refund.

 

[hentob]

I CAN AFFORD TO FEED MY KIDS

No you can't. You receive food stamps. That is government assistance. Which means you need ASSISTANCE to feed your children. You can't feed them on your OWN.

EVEN WHEN IT MEANS I GET TO USE MY FOOD STAMPS AT THE WALMART FOR SNACK.

Use them for a snack while you vacation Have fun! You must be full of pride. Keep teaching your children they DESERVE a yearly trip to Walt Disney World, even though mom can only afford to "stay as paid up on my bills as possible".

You know it is wrong. You know you are teaching them to stay in The Cycle.

What kind of teacher are you? You don't have a four year degree according to your previous posts

 

[Liljam]

I have no idea why I'm even replying to this thread, but no, I don't think the OP is being judgmental either! That's odd too, because usually I would write it off as just that. I live in a town where just about everyone seems to get some sort of assistance and I cannot stand that most people assume that because I'm not currently working and only my DH is employed that we MUST be on welfare. Whe I was in the hospital, I asked one nurse about changing my son's formula and she said that I would have to check with WIC first and I had to explain to her that that was unfortunate considering I DON'T qualify for it! I mention these things because this seems to be the way of life for many people around here. I have loaned friends money and they haven't paid me back, yet they get almost $5000 each year at tax time because they have kids... and they use that money for car items like speakers or for new clothes for themselves... and this year I have to pay $1600 in taxes because my own bookkeeper didn't hold enough taxes when we switched from single to married... and that's with claiming ZERO!!! I had my son after Jan. so we can't even claim him. It does really bother me that EIC is available to people who DON'T make an effort to work hard or get out of any assistance programs. We're not wealthy at all though. So all in all, i would be so frustrated to listen to the convo that took place for the OP. I would have probably spoken up especially after having to PAY taxes this year, lol!!!

ETA: I do not mean anything bad against those families who do need assistance as the case of the poster above who had a son with special needs. The problem is that most of the assistance programs there are were made for people in that posters shoes, but people like the OP's sister is what has made it so difficult for those who really do need it, even it's only temporary! I hate the abuse of the system!

 

[mickeyfan2]

I am indeed one of those people that recieve assistance. I work full time as a teacher and I am a single mother (I am single by choice due to the choices the men in my life have made, my oldest DD's father is in jail for life and my younger DS and DD's decided he wanted to be a drug addict). I work hard everyday and I try to stay as paid up on my bills as possible. I do have a wealthy aunt and uncle that help me with my bills and that because I work hard and out of my sisters and I, I am the only one who DARES to work for a living. My benifits aren't much and I would never refuse a raise because of it (I can only work 40 hours a week) as a matter of fact I just got a $.75 per hour raise. Will my $100-$200 in food stamps disappear? most likely. Will my rent go from $160 to who knows what? DEFINETLY. They also pay some of my childcare, so that will also go up. Will it stop me from doing what I have to everyday as a parent and a funcutioning person in society? NO. Will it stop my yearly disney trips I use my taxes for and make resonable purchases to afford. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!! So anyone who recieves assistance should not get earned income credit (Someone made that statement on page 1), I strongly disagree, I work everyday just like everyone else.

I am sorry if I offend anyone but I am working with what I have and it is hard and I surly look forward to my trip every year. It like magic for my soul .

And I chose a man who takes great care of me. No jail time and no drugs in the man I chose.

I CAN AFFORD TO FEED MY KIDS AND THEY TAKE TAXES OUT OF MY PAYCHECK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!!! SO TO ME IT EVENS OUT, I PRETTY MUCH PAY FOR EVERYTHING THEY GIVE ME BACK. SO IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME ONE BIT. WOULD I LOVE TO OWN A BIG HOUSE AND PAY TAXES FOR THE PEOPLE ON ASSISTANCE THAT SIT HOME ALL DAY? NO NOT REALLY!!! MY PAYCHECK BI-WEEKLY SAY 80 HOURS. I WORK FULL-TIME AND STILL SURVIVE AND CAN STILL AFFORD MY BUDGET TRIPS TO DISNEY, EVEN WHEN IT MEANS I GET TO USE MY FOOD STAMPS AT THE WALMART FOR SNACK. DON'T FORGET I HAVE WEALTH FAMILY THAT PAY TAXES AND HAVE NO KIDS SO IF ANYONES MONEY I'M USING T THERE AND THAT WITH THEIR APPROVAL SWEETIE.

 

[hentob]

I must add that my frustration is not directed towards people who TRULY need assistance (EIC, welfare, food stamps). It lies with people that take YEARLY vacations to Disney while on assistance.


How can you vacation when you need the government (taxpayers) to help you with your day to day responsibilities? How does that compute in your brain that it is ok? Why does anyone think they DESERVE to go to Disney very year

 

[dsnycrzy]

No you can't. You receive food stamps. That is government assistance. Which means you need ASSISTANCE to feed your children. You can't feed them on your OWN.



Use them for a snack while you vacation Have fun! You must be full of pride. Keep teaching your children they DESERVE a yearly trip to Walt Disney World, even though mom can only afford to "stay as paid up on my bills as possible".

You know it is wrong. You know you are teaching them to stay in The Cycle.

What kind of teacher are you? You don't have a four year degree according to your previous posts

WHATEVER YOU HAVE YOUR OPINION HONEY SO PEOPLE ARE JUST BITTER. i TEACH MY KIDS TO STRIVE FOR THE BEST!!! PERIOD BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM WHERE I AM MYSELF BUT WHERE I AM, I AM MAKING IT AND DOING QUITE WELL. AS FOR MY "STAYING PAID UP AS POSSIBLE GOES", I SLACK WHEN I WANT BUT I SET GOALS BY WHEN I NEED IT PAID. (EX. I NEED MY ELECTRIC BILL PAID DOWN AND SOME IN CREDIT BEFORE I LEAVE FOR WDW. THERE IS NO LEAVING BILLS HANGING ALL AROUND WHILE I JUMPING AROUND IN FLORIDA. MY KIDS HAVE COLLEGE MONEY PUT AWAY BY MY FAMILY MEMBERS (AGAIN THEY DON'T HAVE KIDS) AND I INHERIT EVERYTHING FROM EVERYONE SO I TEACH BECAUSE I LOVE IT NOT BECAUSE I NEED THE BIGGEST HOUSE OR THE BEST CAR,ETC. LIKE MOST HIGH HEAD PEOPLE DO. TO BUSY TRYING TO OUT DO THERE NEIGHBORS INSTEAD OF ENJOING LIFE. I WILL NOT REMEMBER HOW MUCH FOOD STAMPS I EVERY RECEIVED FROM THE GOV'T BUT I WILL REMEMBER EVERY BEAUTY MOMENT WITH MY KIDS. THAT IS MY LAST COMMENT FOR THIS THREAD BECAUSE I HAVE CHILDREN TO TEACH.

 

[tasha99]

It does really bother me that EIC is available to people who DON'T make an effort to work hard or get out of any assistance programs. We're not wealthy at all though. So all in all, i would be so frustrated to listen to the convo that took place for the OP. I would have probably spoken up especially after having to PAY taxes this year, lol!!!

EIC is a sort of matching program for money earned while working, so I don't see how you can say people getting it aren't making an effort. You get it by filling out your taxes. When we got it years ago, we had young kids and my ex was working his butt off in the army. I get it now-- I suppose I could get a supplemental job, instead, but there are societal costs too when single parents start pawning all the child care off on others.

I guess I don't understand all the animosity for people who are working, but for some reason or another qualify for assistance. I never felt that way when my family had a higher income. I felt that way about total bums; and I certainly felt that way about the slew of renters we once had who not only didn't pay rent, but trashed our house. I just can't see feeling that way about working single parents .

 

[mickeyfan2]

WHATEVER YOU HAVE YOUR OPINION HONEY SO PEOPLE ARE JUST BITTER. i TEACH MY KIDS TO STRIVE FOR THE BEST!!! PERIOD BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM WHERE I AM MYSELF BUT WHERE I AM, I AM MAKING IT AND DOING QUITE WELL. AS FOR MY "STAYING PAID UP AS POSSIBLE GOES", I SLACK WHEN I WANT BUT I SET GOALS BY WHEN I NEED IT PAID. (EX. I NEED MY ELECTRIC BILL PAID DOWN AND SOME IN CREDIT BEFORE I LEAVE FOR WDW. THERE IS NO LEAVING BILLS HANGING ALL AROUND WHILE I JUMPING AROUND IN FLORIDA. MY KIDS HAVE COLLEGE MONEY PUT AWAY BY MY FAMILY MEMBERS (AGAIN THEY DON'T HAVE KIDS) AND I INHERIT EVERYTHING FROM EVERYONE SO I TEACH BECAUSE I LOVE IT NOT BECAUSE I NEED THE BIGGEST HOUSE OR THE BEST CAR,ETC. LIKE MOST HIGH HEAD PEOPLE DO. TO BUSY TRYING TO OUT DO THERE NEIGHBORS INSTEAD OF ENJOING LIFE. I WILL NOT REMEMBER HOW MUCH FOOD STAMPS I EVERY RECEIVED FROM THE GOV'T BUT I WILL REMEMBER EVERY BEAUTY MOMENT WITH MY KIDS. THAT IS MY LAST COMMENT FOR THIS THREAD BECAUSE I HAVE CHILDREN TO TEACH.

Why don't those rich relative buy your kids food and you can get off the dole? But it would reduce that huge inheritance you are going to get.

 

[MinnieVanMom]

 

[creativeamanda]

I CAN AFFORD TO FEED MY KIDS AND THEY TAKE TAXES OUT OF MY PAYCHECK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!!!!! SO TO ME IT EVENS OUT, I PRETTY MUCH PAY FOR EVERYTHING THEY GIVE ME BACK. SO IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME ONE BIT. WOULD I LOVE TO OWN A BIG HOUSE AND PAY TAXES FOR THE PEOPLE ON ASSISTANCE THAT SIT HOME ALL DAY? NO NOT REALLY!!! MY PAYCHECK BI-WEEKLY SAY 80 HOURS. I WORK FULL-TIME AND STILL SURVIVE AND CAN STILL AFFORD MY BUDGET TRIPS TO DISNEY, EVEN WHEN IT MEANS I GET TO USE MY FOOD STAMPS AT THE WALMART FOR SNACK. DON'T FORGET I HAVE WEALTH FAMILY THAT PAY TAXES AND HAVE NO KIDS SO IF ANYONES MONEY I'M USING T THERE AND THAT WITH THEIR APPROVAL SWEETIE.

I don't even get this line of thinking. How does this "wealthy family" really feel about helping you? Everyone in the family thinks dh and I are wealthy, but he is a middle school teacher and I work at a school district office at a teacher pay. In short, we are both certified teachers, we have three kids, 2 car payments (with one being paid off tomorrow ), and a mortgage. Everyone thinks we had it easy and that we are wealthy. We actually paid the rent for them for 2 years! But things end up going to far when you are spending money that you do not earn. There are more important things a family in such dire straights can do than go to WDW. We started going last year when we took out a 2% interest personal loan to pay off our last credit card and had a good plan to get out of debt which included starting a vacation fund at $250/month. Do you even realize how much saving that is for a family of five to go? So when someone is USING the system to milk as much as they can out of the government (Section8 Housing, Medicaid, someone on disability--don't know who, husband working only part time and if he works more paid under the table, EIC) and have been doing so at least since before their first child was born seven years ago, I think I have a right to be angry. This family has taken a vacation 5 times in the last 7 years. My family has taken 1 in the last 7. We were busy trying to help them with rent when they were taking vacations. I have no qualms helping their children and I will send gift cards for food (until I found out that they get $600/month in food stamps. That's more than my monthly food budget) and gift cards for clothes. I have never had problems when they lived nearby even opening my cabinet up and giving them bags full of groceries. But don't use the money I paid in taxes to fund your Disney trip. It's irresponsible.

I have no problems with helping people get on their feet. I have serious problems with them not trying to get on their feet.

 

[tasha99]

I hope you paid for that popcorn . . .

 

[creativeamanda]

I hope you paid for that popcorn . . .

I'm sure that it was paid for by tax dollars, lol.

 

[lovepurple]

Welcome to my world! Unfortunately in the city I live, much of this has become a way of life. For instince in my sons school 87% of students qualify for free lunch. Last year he was the only kid in the class that paid for his lunch, but more then half of the kids had cell phones and many were walking around with sneakers costing well over $100. It really is sad IMHO that our sociaity is so enableing!

When we first moved to our current home I sent in a month's worth of lunch money on my daughter's lunch account. About four months later I realized she probably should be out but had not got the note from school saying your account is low. I called in to check on it and the lunch lady said that she had been ringing her up as free lunch because all the kids pretty much get free lunch. I asked how much did we owe and she said not to worry about it. That didn't seem right to me so I estimated as best I could and sent the check in anyway.
I have family members on assistance. Some who should be and some who shouldn't. My cousin is disabled physically and has slight mental retardation. She is able now to live on her own but lives in a basement apartment where the landlord who is a family friend can keep somewhat of an eye on her. She will never be able to drive. She is very frugal with her assistance and cuts coupons and saves any birthday money or any extra she gets for a vacation every few years. Her vacation consists of going to some caverns and a petting zoo that are about an hour away from her home that she and her good friend, who also has issues but can drive, like to go to.
I have other family members who will be up the creek so to speak when their children are grown and out of the house and their aid is cut. I even had one ask to "borrow" one of my kids as a deduction on their taxes and they would split the money with me. Of course I told them they were nuts.
Some people really need a hand up, but those who are abuse the system really irritate me.