Am I a horrible person?

[james'mommy]

Yesterday my sister let it slip that my step mother has breast cancer. She wasn't supposed to tell me. I haven't had any contact with my dad or step mom in a couple of months. They have been married for over 25 years. My step mother has never liked me. Mainly because I look like my mom and the fact that I've never been a suck up like my sister. My dad and step mother always bad mouthed my mom and tried to pit us against her. They were only interested in my son until other grandchildren arrived. They usually forget his birthday and Christmas. They never remember my birthday. They never care about what is going on in my life. I always hear about how wonderful my step brothers are (1 has been unemployed by choice for over a year but he's the golden boy). I'm wondering if I'm a bad person because I don't feel bad that she's sick. I don't feel sad or bad. I don't feel anything. Normally I would feel bad for someone getting sick no matter who it is. Now I just feel nothing.

 

[OceanAnnie]

It sounds like the relationship has taken a toll on you. Those were some heavy things you went through and it's baggage now. You are probably emotionally spent.

I don't think you are a bad person. I think you have been through a lot.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I don't think you are a bad person, I just think that you have no emotional attatchment to this person, therefore, her cancer hasn't effected you personally. Perhaps, if you had a good standing relationship with your father, you would feel emotionally upset for HIM and the loss he might face, but since you said you don't have that either, you are simply feeling nothing.

Don't feel bad about it.

 

[DWGal210]

I don't think you're a bad person; it's hard to have warm thoughts for someone who has treated you so badly.

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't think you're a bad person.

I have often said, much to many DISers dismay, that just because someone is "family" doesn't mean they are going to be good to you. The lady has treated you like crap...certainly you are not rejoicing at her illness but why would you think you should feel horrible about someone who's treated your badly?

In regard to your step-mother, my mother would say "She reaped what she sowed"...others prefer to call it "karma".

 

[The Mystery Machine]

For starters, I don't understand the need to "feel bad" for her? She has been diagnosed with breast cancer, not in the hospital in critical condition.

I tend to swing to the postive and think well of the person and hope that they get better.

You say you have not been in contact with them for only a couple of months? I might go for a couple of months not talking to some members of my family just because we are all busy.

It really sounds like you are pretty raw right now processing things. Don't beat yourself up.

 

[freckles and boo]

Since you aren't supposed to know, you can pretend you don't know. Or you could send her a nice little note, wishing her well through her treatment. You don't have to "feel" anything to do that.

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

I don't think you're a bad person.

I have often said, much to many DISers dismay, that just because someone is "family" doesn't mean they are going to be good to you. The lady has treated you like crap...certainly you are not rejoicing at her illness but why would you think you should feel horrible about someone who's treated your badly?

In regard to your step-mother, my mother would say "She reaped what she sowed"...others prefer to call it "karma".

Well said!