am i a bad mom???

MizTink

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 24, 2005
Messages
923
ok, so keeping my house clean has always been a struggle. i HATE cleaning. and i HATE laundry!!!!
i started a cleaning schedule for me and my kids about 2 months ago. it was very manageable and the house looked great every day!!!!
well, a few weeks ago we all started slacking. now no one does anything. not to make excuses, but the baby's been sick, her mom got sick, dd10 got sick,etc.
i think me and dd14 are the only ones who really care. the rest of them would just sit around in filth just as happy as could be!
so dd14 was trying to clean up the kitchen a little and was complaining to me about what slobs they all are when i had an idea. :idea: i offered to pay my own daughter to clean the house! she had to swear not to tell anybody!! now when it's all in good shape, we are going back to our cleaning schedule on the calendar.
 
How would that make you a bad Mom? She's the only one trying, you need it done. I've paid my dd (now 20) to clean- in the past. I'd do it today if I needed something done!
 
How would that make you a bad Mom? She's the only one trying, you need it done. I've paid my dd (now 20) to clean- in the past. I'd do it today if I needed something done!
because the 10yr old, 16yr old, and 18 yr old are all doing NOTHING and i'm on the dis while dd14 is cleaning!!!! but we do just smile at each other when we make eye contact!!;) money is a powerful tool!!!!!
 
because the 10yr old, 16yr old, and 18 yr old are all doing NOTHING and i'm on the dis while dd14 is cleaning!!!! but we do just smile at each other when we make eye contact!!;) money is a powerful tool!!!!!

She's 14, making your own money is GREAT at that age. :thumbsup2 Good Job Mom!
 

No, just lazy.

House cleaning isn't the most fun thing to do, nor is laundry, I myself can't stand to put it away. But, you have to take pride in what you have.

My DM was a SAHM-who didn't stay home, cook, clean,etc. I work full time and have a DD11. My house isn't Home and Gardens clean, but my DD needs to see what taking pride in what you have means. And actually, she cleans a lot better then some adults I have seen at where I work at.
 
No, just lazy.

House cleaning isn't the most fun thing to do, nor is laundry, I myself can't stand to put it away. But, you have to take pride in what you have.

My DM was a SAHM-who didn't stay home, cook, clean,etc. I work full time and have a DD11. My house isn't Home and Gardens clean, but my DD needs to see what taking pride in what you have means. And actually, she cleans a lot better then some adults I have seen at where I work at.

:lmao: so true!!!
guess i wasn't really asking if i'm a bad mom. i know i'm not.....
 
ok, so keeping my house clean has always been a struggle. i HATE cleaning. and i HATE laundry!!!!
i started a cleaning schedule for me and my kids about 2 months ago. it was very manageable and the house looked great every day!!!!
well, a few weeks ago we all started slacking. now no one does anything. not to make excuses, but the baby's been sick, her mom got sick, dd10 got sick,etc.i think me and dd14 are the only ones who really care. the rest of them would just sit around in filth just as happy as could be!
so dd14 was trying to clean up the kitchen a little and was complaining to me about what slobs they all are when i had an idea. :idea: i offered to pay my own daughter to clean the house! she had to swear not to tell anybody!! now when it's all in good shape, we are going back to our cleaning schedule on the calendar.

you got sick?
 
you got sick?

no, i did not get sick. just been busy. spent 1 day in the ER with baby, 2 dr visits, christmas shopping, etc.....
the problem is if 1 person does a little it doesn't do any good if the other 4 do nothing!!!
 
I am a firm believer in pay for what you do not want to do.
She is young and willing to hustle to earn some money. There will be a day when she buys something she want with the money she earned and the others will whine because they don't have the cash.

Don't feel badly
 
I think that we all have different priorities. For some, a top priority is housecleaning. For others, it is not. So, if you can figure out away to get the chores done where you don't have to do them and your DD benefits, good for you! There are lots of people who pay to have their houses cleaned. I really don't see a problem with it.
 
you got sick?

I think she may have been refering to her 18 year old daughter who is the mother of the baby.


I think?

Either that or there's two mommies, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Ok sorry I had a sienfield moment.
 
because the 10yr old, 16yr old, and 18 yr old are all doing NOTHING and i'm on the dis while dd14 is cleaning!!!! but we do just smile at each other when we make eye contact!!;) money is a powerful tool!!!!!

:thumbsup2:thumbsup2:thumbsup2:thumbsup2:thumbsup2
Smart mom, EVEN smarter KID! :lmao:
 
Your DD14 seems to have initative, which rocks!

I don't how I got to believe this with my upbringing or lack there of at times, but everyone has to do their part to contribute to the home and to family.

I don't pay DD11 a said allowance, she has to do certain things to contribute, then if she wants money, she can come to me and ask if she can wash the car-well not in winter time-but she will thinks of something that she can do unrelated to the regular things and I pay her for them.

But no way am I going to clean after everyone else, especially if they are older.

But I will admit I have thought of somehow putting a basket on one of my German SHepards and teaching him how to deliver everyone's clothes or if he could just learn how to fold, ok he has no thumbs. But if he did..............
 
Heck, I tried to do that with my kid but she wouldn't bite!

I'm not lazy, just employed full time and in grad school as well. :confused3
 
We all have different ideas on what clean means too. I need to deal with the clutter but it doesn't bother me too much. But outright filth is another matter.

Your 14 year old sounds very smart. I try to do that for extraordinary things with my teen and sometimes it works. He did clean the garage and for that I paid well!
 
I think she may have been refering to her 18 year old daughter who is the mother of the baby.


I think?

Either that or there's two mommies, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Ok sorry I had a sienfield moment.

HEHEHEHEHE

Yeah, it was as clear as mud!!!:lmao:
 
I think she may have been refering to her 18 year old daughter who is the mother of the baby.


I think?

Either that or there's two mommies, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Ok sorry I had a sienfield moment.
yeah, the 18yr old got sick. she's my son's girlfriend and baby's mom. she moved in with us when the baby was born in august.
no 2 moms here!!!!!! :lmao:
 
A bad mom would let her kids live in filth. If she is willing to clean for a reward and you agree that is great. That does not make you a bad mom. DH and I have been know to hire others kids to clean so they could earn money. They appreciated the spending money and we had a great time with the kids.
 















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