"I think that since you had the special need, it was your responsiblity to remove the threat to your son."
Should the OP carry a small vacuum cleaner with her? I'm just not sure how TSA would like that.
I'm so sorry you were treated badly by this employee. In my experience, emotional responses to the employee's comments don't matter much to the person that will be reading this letter. They are looking for cold, hard facts and your suggestion for a resolution/compensation.
I think I read an edited version, or maybe I skimmed, but I didn't notice anything too over the top emotional.
Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead, but to me, if John Doe is hauled in over this, he might have his own versions of her reactions, so IMO having the reasons for her reactions (getting quiet, etc) on paper would be helpful for the situation. If only to teach John Doe that the reasons he makes up in his head might not be the reasons in the other person's head.
Straying off topic...I noticed that allergies get a lot more attention in school than when I was a kid.
The mom insisted on my wife and I each spending five minutes learning what to do if there was a problem. That seems like a pretty hefty burden for a parent.
FWIW, I've been allergic since around 1970. Dairy allergy mainly, and I have the under-eye allergy circles to show it (b/c I'm addicted to my lattes). Dairy also increases my environmental allergies...the times I've dropped ALL dairy (and dairy derivatives) I'm entirely allergy free, but it's just really hard for me to maintain. My brother has always been allergic to citrus...he's so sensitive to it that if you crack open an orange in the kitchen, he'll start sneezing a moment later from his closed-door bedroom upstairs. Nothing anaphylactic, but he's ALWAYS been that way and he was born in '72.
Now the deadly allergies yes, I've seen more and more of, and I have my own little theory based on what we've done to our natural immune systems in the last 100 years, but that's neither here nor there. The airline said they would do something, and they only did reluctantly, and then someone berated her.
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OP, if that wasn't on the jetway, I'd wonder if that person was even an employee! It just seems literally crazy to me.
Don't get me wrong, I believe you. Just today I was talking to the pharmacy side of my health insurance, trying to get some info, and she couldn't pull up my account based on the numbers. She had one set belief of what I was trying to do, when I was trying to do about 3 things (and was communicating that plainly to her), and when I gave her another set of numbers from my card, she said "I don't mean to be rude, but you're talking in circles". I wasn't. If I had given her the same set of numbers, yes, but I was giving her a different set, which I told her two times before I said the numbers. It was a VERY difficult conversation, for no solid reason, and I was shaking at the end of it (thankfully the nice rep at my normal insurance company was so sweet and that calmed me down). So I know full well that sometimes employees can just LOSE it and seem to be reacting to a person who isn't there and a conversation that isn't actually happening.
I'd just keep this letter in your hands for a few days, continuing to work on it. Paring it down, explaining without defending, etc etc. I think NotUrsula gave some excellent advice (not that others did
not, but I do tend to enjoy the plain-speak of Transportation forum denizens), especially with what you want. Airlines are the ONE place where you need to state what you want...every other place, our rule of thumb is to tell them the problem and then stay quiet, letting the other person talk themselves up and up in compensation. But with airlines, you need to state what you want.