21 is the legal age in NJ. That's when I'll allow mine to drink in front of me.
21 is the legal drinking age and they WILL NOT drink in my presence before that!!!
Here in NJ, it's perfectly legal to have your minor drink in private facilites that don't sell alcohol, even if the parent isn't present, such as at someone's home, or banquet facilities that you bring alcohol into. Now, you can still chose not to let your child drink, but it's legal to serve them alcohol.
For me, whether it's legal or not makes no difference, my child will not drink alcohol in my presence until they are 21.
There are plenty of beverages to choose from so I don't get why it's such a big thing that people want their kids to drink alcohol especially underage.
Yes I would allow my 17/18 year old to drink in front of me. I would not allow then to get drunk, or supply them with their own 12 pack but a beer, glass of wine or even a margherita wouldn't be a big deal to have at a family party. I grew up in a family that let us teens have a drink here and there, not really a big deal.
I currently have a 17 year old..along with a 20 and 22 year old. I have no problems with them having a drink in my presence. I would NOT serve someone elses kid a drink though. At Thanksgiving I will let them drink the wines I am serving...my nephews could have some too if their parent allowed....my SIL will not so I don't even offer it to them. (which is funny because my SIL did her fair share of underage drinking.)
If I was having a party at my house where there were a lot of underage kids there none of them would be drinking. My kids could have a drink in a dinner situation but not in a party situation....at dinner I could keep track of how many times a glass is being filled...during a party there would be no way to watch the consumption.