allowance

[NinaBella]

Okay,

 

[pklein09]

I have 4 kids - 15, 17, 18, and 19. On occasion, they have received "allowance." This happened when they were little and we had a Disney trip planned. I knew I would be buying them souvenirs, so I made them "earn" the money I would use. They each had chores to do, and at the end of the week, I put money into an envelope. When we were in Disney and they wanted something, I pulled out their envelope. When the money was gone, no more souvenirs. It worked like a charm.

Now that they're older, no allowance. They are expected to help around the house with whatever needs to be done. In return, they get what they need when they need it. I'm very fortunate that none of my kids want the latest and greatest thing. They have opportunities to earn money through my father's auction business and the older ones have had the occasional job. When they want something I might deem frivolous, they can buy it with their money.

Good luck trying to figure out what will work for you and your daughter.

 

[NinaBella]

Thanks.

 

[mjkacmom]

My kids don't get allowance. I buy them what they need, and they can ask for wants at Christmas or their birthdays. They get $20 a week for lunch, but if they make their own lunches, they can keep the money. My oldest is a sophomore in college who works summers and Christmas breaks for money. College costs about $25,000 a year, we paid the first year. She rents her textbooks, has a one meal a day meal pla, and eats a lot of ramen. Ds17 also works summers and Decembers. He wastes a lot of money going out to eat with friends. I'm sure he'll get into some financial problems at some point, as a young adult, and I hope he'll learn from them.

Dd14 teaches some dance lessons/privates to put towards overseas travel for dance. She is expected to contribute as much as she can. All five kids have bank accounts with debit cards, dd19 has a checking account. My parents were too generous, pretty much buying me what I wanted. That did me no favors.

 

[tink9702]

I'm approaching this from a very different place since my kids are 6 & 5. At this point in their lives I buy all of their clothes, swim lessons, other entertainment. They receive toys at birthday and Christmas. If they want any other toys they need to earn the money themselves. I have them do chores around the house and for each chore they do there is a set amount of money they can earn for it. At their ages the chores are fairly simple things like setting the table, emptying the dishwasher, assisting with laundry & putting away their own clean clothes. They will receive more time consuming/difficult chores as they get older. They also have chores that they don't earn money for like putting dirty clothes in the hamper, cleaning up toys, clearing their plate after a meal etc. If they don't complete the chore that earns money then they don't receive the money. My goal is to teach them both that they need to contribute to the household, but also that we value their help and also how to budget/save for things they want. I think letting them decide when/what to spend their money on is a very valuable lesson. They have also been learning how much things really cost. In DS's words "I can't buy anything good for less than $10!!! ugh!!!". lol So far the combo of chores you have to do and chores you can do to earn $ has worked really well for us.

Good luck deciding!!!

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

We don't do allowance. However, they can earn money through their "job", which is school. $20 per A, $10 per B (they only have 4 classes per term due to block schedule, sometime 5 with 0 period). I give a $20 bonus for all A's and B's, $50 for all A's.

Edit *I do give my kids money for when they want to walk down to the local Starbucks after school with their friends. However, that is not a weekly thing. And, we only go clothes shopping about 2x per year (which we buy what they want). We are not mall people or big shoppers.

 

[wilkeliza]

For clothes, set a bi-yearly budget and have it be equal for each child. The 12 and 13 year old should be given everything exactly the same since you even admit you spoil your daughter. Then they get to spend up to that amount and no more. Also make sure they have what they need so x number of shorts, shirts, pants, school appropriate clothes etc. They don't count underwear and socks in that amount unless they want nice things.

Then they get an earned allowance. They do their work and such and they get a certain amount which I believe is like 100 a month. Any fun extras come from that. They use it all on one Friday and the next Friday they can't beg for more.

 

[KristinU]

My 6th grade 11 year old gets $40 once a month. He chooses whether he wants it as 100% "direct deposit" into his savings account, or if he wants a portion into savings and a portion in cash for the month. He has a debit card for his account but pretty much doesn't use it and has longer term designs on his savings.
What I like about monthly is that he's learning to budget for a whole month and not just letting money burn a hole in his wallet, and he's also learning that he doesn't need all sorts of cr@p just because he has money available.

ETA: We pay for clothing and athletic stuff when he needs it. He's very easy and is not fashion conscious in the least, so it really is replacement as stuff gets worn out or grown out of.

They get $20 a week for lunch, but if they make their own lunches, they can keep the money.

I love this idea! A bit more tricky for us to book-keep since DS can't pay cash for school lunches at his school, but I can figure out some sort of true-up weekly or monthly with his online account.

 

[LinderInWonderland]

I got a very small allowance as a child, but when I was 13 I started babysitting and then had part-time jobs all through high school. I was able to spend my money on things I wanted (voice lessons, name brand sweaters my mom thought were too expensive, going out with friends, etc.), but I was never good about saving.

I admired how my good friend's family dealt with money. Every cent they got for gifts or through work, 2/3rds of it had to go into savings. By the time my friend graduated college, she had saved up enough to go on a 2 month European tour and still had money left over to have a safety net while she started her career.

 

[Hook326]

My kids are younger (6 & 8) and we started allowance about 6 months ago as a way to teach them about earning, spending and saving. They each have basic chores they do each week to get $5. Out of that they have to save $2.50 in their jar, .50 goes to church, and $2 is fun money. The jar money can only be spent every two months (trying to teach delayed gratification and saving for larger items). At first they would spend that $2 each week on junk toys but now they've been adding it to their jar to save for something bigger. We don't get the begging for stuff anymore either because we just say yes if they want to spend their own money. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. I hope they are learning to value money this way. (This is just for extras like video games, toys, etc. we buy all their clothes, school stuff, etc). As they get older, the allowance will go up some but same rules apply. Then they need to get a job! And hopefully will use what they've learned for money they earn. I see so many adults who struggle with money & I don't want that to be my boys.

I admired how my good friend's family dealt with money. Every cent they got for gifts or through work, 2/3rds of it had to go into savings. By the time my friend graduated college, she had saved up enough to go on a 2 month European tour and still had money left over to have a safety net while she started her career.

We do similar with birthday, Christmas, Easter money. I let them keep $10 and the rest goes into their savings accounts at the bank (college $$). As they age, I'll probably up it to half of whatever they get they can keep.

 

[wilkeliza]

I admired how my good friend's family dealt with money. Every cent they got for gifts or through work, 2/3rds of it had to go into savings. By the time my friend graduated college, she had saved up enough to go on a 2 month European tour and still had money left over to have a safety net while she started her career.

We do similar with birthday, Christmas, Easter money. I let them keep $10 and the rest goes into their savings accounts at the bank (college $$). As they age, I'll probably up it to half of whatever they get they can keep.

I wish my mom would have done that for us. Instead we got half of any more we were given and then the other half went to our savings. The only difference was the half in savings was used to gift each other birthday gifts and Christmas gifts as well as our extended family. My mom was big on sharing what ever you got and wanted to instill that in us so we kept half and gave the other half away. As a young adult in college I did wish I would have had that half for that instead.

 

[bethy]

I have been meaning to have my DD14 put away half her money she earns babysitting and dog walking for college. This thread is a great reminder!

In addition to her jobs DD gets a modest allowance that it not tied to chores. She does do a ton of chores though. I pay for her food, shelter, travel, meds and clothing and sports (thousands of $$$ per year) and basic toiletries, etc. But she has to pay for things like Starbucks w/friends and going to the movies and extra things she wants to buy, etc. She does also use her own money to buy Christmas presents for ppl which is her choice and not required.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

I buy clothes, lunches, and toiletries, and Alison buys her own "extras." I started doing $1 per year per week when she was younger because I was tired of her asking for junk every time we went to the store, and I needed her to start learning to manage her own money. This gives her an increase each year (kind of vaguely like the real world), and I pay her biweekly when I get paid. This is also kind of like the real world, and 2 weeks of allowance at once encourages her to be more thoughtful about what she buys - she blows through $13 because it seems like so little, but she'll think about how she wants to spend $26.

At times, she asks me to hold all or part of her allowance until a certain time so that she isn't tempted to spend it (like when we have a vacation coming up - right now, she is saving for a violin and spending money for our 2017 trip to Europe).

 

[scrapquitler]

Okay, this is really should be titled changing the way I spend money on my kids?

Currently, I am a bit of a shop-a-holic both a the mall and online. I buy my only daughter tons of clothes.

All of my kids have their own youth checking & savings with their own ATM card. Yes the youngest are 12 and 13 and have had their own accounts since age 10.

So my question is really about allowance? I have never done allowance and my oldest are 23 and 21. I always just bought what they needed as they need it. I am thinking to better budget our household, that instead of just buying for them all the time, I would give them an allowance and start having them budget for what they need?

I am not sure how much allowance to give them and if it should be given in one lump sum at the beginning of each month or weekly. How much allowance do you give your kids over the course of the month? Right now I am thinking $50 a week (not including their school lunch accounts I have to fill up each month)?


So how much do your kids get for allowance and how often?

I guesss it depends on what you expect them to DO with their allowance. Are they to make charitable gifts? Are they to purchase clothes? Are they to fund their own entertainment? Are they expected to buy birthday gifts for their siblings?

When my kids had an allowance, it was for things like buying a snack after school or going to the movies on the weekend. That was it. And the amount was WAY less than what you are considering. I can't imagine what my 12 year old would spend $40 a week on....he hardly goes anywhere without me, and I buy all his clothes, food, toiletries, etc.

 

[wilkeliza]

I guesss it depends on what you expect them to DO with their allowance. Are they to make charitable gifts? Are they to purchase clothes? Are they to fund their own entertainment? Are they expected to buy birthday gifts for their siblings?

When my kids had an allowance, it was for things like buying a snack after school or going to the movies on the weekend. That was it. And the amount was WAY less than what you are considering. I can't imagine what my 12 year old would spend $40 a week on....he hardly goes anywhere without me, and I buy all his clothes, food, toiletries, etc.

I think location might matter a lot. Just going to a movie in NYC with snacks etc can set a kid back 25 bucks. Throw in a after school frappacino or a trip to the bodega on the way home for a pop and some candy and you easily spend 40 a week here.

 

[barkley]

we never tied in an allowance to doing chores because we taught our kids from an early age that being part of a household demands that everyone pitch it and help out with the upkeep. my kids (now young adults) will in fact still say that they never had chores growing up-I think that's because it wasn't looked to as chores but were ingrained as habits (use dishes/cooking something? they get soaked/put directly into dishwasher/put away ingredients as you're cooking/clean counters as you go, all dirty laundry goes directly into it's designated hamper, 'kid's'/guest bathroom stays picked up, and when the garbage cans are nearing full in there/your bedroom they are taken to the larger can in the garage and dumped)....

allowances were usually referred to as their 'monthly money'. they could do what they wanted with it, and when they were younger it was largely spent renting video games at the old brick and mortar blockbuster (the amount was initially determined by how much a rental cost for each of them each weekend). things like clothes, having hair done? guess we were lucky on this front b/c neither dd or ds are big into clothing, and only want to get hair done when necessary (and when dd got older and wanted to do non traditional color in her hair we paid for it ONCE-and made sure the beautician educated her during the process about the precautions she would need to take if she opted to do it on her own-which she now does b/c after realizing how expensive it was when the money came out of her own pocket she decided she could do it much less expensively with the store bought products). we bought/buy clothes as needed for them-if they want something outside that they can save for it. if we invite them to a movie-we pay (so dd in particular loves that she and her dad share similar tastes in movies) otherwise they pay. if we go somewhere that we would normally give spending money for it's up to them-spend it or save (they tend to save more of it to spend when we get home).


btw-when figuring out an amount one thing we took into consideration was to NOT give what we had been previously spending/handing out to them but what we felt was a lower reasonable amount. as adults/parents we budget our income to FIRST cover essentials/savings with the smallest percentage going to entertainment/non essentials. we didn't want our kids with an unrealistic attitude as to how much they could afford to spend/a 'lifestyle' when they got out on their own (knew too many people who got riddled with debt/couldn't pay their rent while in college because they had unbridled spending habits, and dd sees it everyday w/the kids she attends with who fall for all the awful credit card offers that pepper our mailbox every day-think student loan debt is huge-student credit card debt is a horrendous issue as well).

 

[dadtoagirl03]

We have never tied "allowance" to household chores. Household chores are part of life and are expected regardless if you get anything. We don't actually do allowances at all. I've told her as long as she keeps her straight A average, puts efforts into her dance classes, and give no behavorial problems I'll provide all her needs and alot of her wants. If she decides that I've not covering enough of the wants than have at a part-time job. This will continue all the way thru college (at that age I expect her to work during the summers), but during "class" time I'll take care of it as long as she follows my simple rules.

 

[piccolopat]

I'm not sure I would even consider giving an allowance to a child once they are adults. They can and should work and earn their own money to pay for things. Providing necessities while your adult child is in college full time is one thing, but I would not provide for anything more than that. They need to learn that being an adult means being responsible for their own needs and wants. For the younger children, use the allowance to teach them wants vs. needs and saving for a rainy day. As for your daughter, please do her a favor and stop buying so much for her. She needs to learn that having "enough" is desirable while anything more is unnecessary excess. How many home shows have a person look at a large walk in closet and wonder if it is big enough for their stuff, let alone their spouse. The desire for excess in this country has caused many people to live well beyond their means, rack up debt and need more storage and bigger houses to accommodate it all. We need to stop the cycle so our kids and grandkids have a chance to live debt free and retire comfortably on the savings they accumulate over the decades instead of buying another of the latest (fill in the blank).

 

[barkley]

I think location might matter a lot. Just going to a movie in NYC with snacks etc can set a kid back 25 bucks. Throw in a after school frappacino or a trip to the bodega on the way home for a pop and some candy and you easily spend 40 a week here.

I think going to a movie just about anywhere IF it includes snacks runs at least $25 (more here w/even a small popcorn and a drink if it's a 3d or imax film), and while my kids (heck-many f/t employed adults) would love the idea of every week doing a movie w/snacks, afternoon frappucinos or trips to bodega it's not financially realistic for most. $40 a week to me doesn't seem like a huge amount of money out of my budget but I don't want my kids who (one already is) will end up working part time for minimum wage during high school and college to get the idea that this is a must in their lives. here in Washington the minimum wage is higher than any other state but a part time (20 hours per week) worker still only grosses about $189 per week. I'm just not comfortable teaching my kids that it's the norm to spend over 20% of their GROSS income on this kind of stuff just because it's easy to do.

 

[wilkeliza]

I think going to a movie just about anywhere IF it includes snacks runs at least $25 (more here w/even a small popcorn and a drink if it's a 3d or imax film), and while my kids (heck-many f/t employed adults) would love the idea of every week doing a movie w/snacks, afternoon frappucinos or trips to bodega it's not financially realistic for most. $40 a week to me doesn't seem like a huge amount of money out of my budget but I don't want my kids who (one already is) will end up working part time for minimum wage during high school and college to get the idea that this is a must in their lives. here in Washington the minimum wage is higher than any other state but a part time (20 hours per week) worker still only grosses about $189 per week. I'm just not comfortable teaching my kids that it's the norm to spend over 20% of their GROSS income on this kind of stuff just because it's easy to do.

That's a good plan. I just know that parenting is across the board on what a kid should be able to do with their allowance. So if the idea is for the OPs daughter to still be able to go out with her friends on Friday and to get snacks through out the week then 40 may actually be low. I agree with what you are saying though. I only got an allowance when I was much younger and it was every 6 weeks and based off of our report card (not based on grades specifically but rather if our mom thought we had given our absolute best so my brother who was terrible at math could get lower grades in math than me but since I was terrible in grammar and spelling I could get lower grades in English than him). So we got half in cash and half in our account following what I said early. I think most of my cash went to things like extras at sports day or field trips etc.

When I was a teenager there was no allowance because my father got custody after my mom passed and outside of other reasons I worked for one of the farms in the area to get spending money.