allowance

[DnA2010]

Okay, this is really should be titled changing the way I spend money on my kids?

Currently, I am a bit of a shop-a-holic both a the mall and online. I buy my only daughter tons of clothes.

All of my kids have their own youth checking & savings with their own ATM card. Yes the youngest are 12 and 13 and have had their own accounts since age 10.

So my question is really about allowance? I have never done allowance and my oldest are 23 and 21. I always just bought what they needed as they need it. I am thinking to better budget our household, that instead of just buying for them all the time, I would give them an allowance and start having them budget for what they need?

I am not sure how much allowance to give them and if it should be given in one lump sum at the beginning of each month or weekly. How much allowance do you give your kids over the course of the month? Right now I am thinking $50 a week (not including their school lunch accounts I have to fill up each month)?


So how much do your kids get for allowance and how often?

DD11 has an account and card but currently its for savings, so money goes in, not out. No allowance as we just buy her what she needs- generally that's just me doing it as needed, as she doesn't have much interest in shopping. We buy her sports equipment, pay for lessons and activities etc.

Are you talking about giving the 23 and 21 year olds allowance along with the younger ones? At their age shouldn't they be working and earning their own money, with your help budgeting? I'm guessing they are living at home? Or are they going to collage? As long as I was going to school I could live at home for free.

Your daughter is lucky that you are willing to buy her what she wants, but if you can afford it, why not right? However understand where you are going with the giving the money and letting her figure out what things are really worth- ie getting her nails done (can you adopt me?! I would love to get mine done )

I'm focusing more on teaching DD the value of what it takes to earn money and how that is correlated to what she spends it on- ie how quickly meals out, drinks etc add up and what could be bought with that money instead.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

My kids are 15 and 9. They don't get allowance. XH and I split almost all expenses. He also gives me child support.

My kids do chores because they have to and are expected to get good grades.

DS15 gets $20 a week for lunch. I take him shopping for clothes when he needs it. He HATES shopping so he has to be completely grown out of something or in desperate need of clothes. Sometimes I find deals online and just get it because I know he will use it. We buy all of his athletic stuff when he needs it. He gets a haircut at the barber every two weeks at $25. I consider haircuts and grooming a necessity. If he wants to go to the movies or out with friends, his father and I take turns on giving him money. He loves sneakers and he probably gets a new pair every 2-3 months. He asks for a new video game every 6 months or so. He gets a bulk of his stuff at Xmas and birthday. I don't want him to get a job during school since he plays sports which consume all of his after school time. This summer he is expected to get a part time job to make some of his own money.

DD9 is the same. We buy what she needs when she needs it. Wants we have to say no more since she is ALWAYS asking for something new. I take her to the nail salon with me every once in a while and let her get her nails painted. We may hit the mall every few weeks after ballet and buy some deep discounted clothes for her. She gets her hair trimmed every 2-3 months. I give her snack money once a week. If book orders come from school we do it every other time.

I grew up very poor and we only had needs. There weren't many wants. I work hard (and so does XH) and we like to treat the kids. They are far from spoiled but they do get extras that I never had. Just them being in sports and ballet is a luxury I never had the chance to experience.

 

[NinaBella]

Posting

 

[NinaBella]

My kids are 15 and 9. They don't get allowance. XH and I split almost all expenses. He also gives me child support.

My kids do chores because they have to and are expected to get good grades.

DS15 gets $20 a week for lunch. I take him shopping for clothes when he needs it. He HATES shopping so he has to be completely grown out of something or in desperate need of clothes. Sometimes I find deals online and just get it because I know he will use it. We buy all of his athletic stuff when he needs it. He gets a haircut at the barber every two weeks at $25. I consider haircuts and grooming a necessity. If he wants to go to the movies or out with friends, his father and I take turns on giving him money. He loves sneakers and he probably gets a new pair every 2-3 months. He asks for a new video game every 6 months or so. He gets a bulk of his stuff at Xmas and birthday. I don't want him to get a job during school since he plays sports which consume all of his after school time. This summer he is expected to get a part time job to make some of his own money.

DD9 is the same. We buy what she needs when she needs it. Wants we have to say no more since she is ALWAYS asking for something new. I take her to the nail salon with me every once in a while and let her get her nails painted. We may hit the mall every few weeks after ballet and buy some deep discounted clothes for her. She gets her hair trimmed every 2-3 months. I give her snack money once a week. If book orders come from school we do it every other time.

I grew up very poor and we only had needs. There weren't many wants. I work hard (and so does XH) and we like to treat the kids. They are far from spoiled but they do get extras that I never had. Just them being in sports and ballet is a luxury I never had the chance to experience.

I think.my kids lunches are at least $7 a day. The do the A LA Cart. Like chips, salad, chicken nuggets, tacos, etc.

 

[bcwife76]

I'm approaching this from a very different place since my kids are 6 & 5. At this point in their lives I buy all of their clothes, swim lessons, other entertainment. They receive toys at birthday and Christmas. If they want any other toys they need to earn the money themselves. I have them do chores around the house and for each chore they do there is a set amount of money they can earn for it. At their ages the chores are fairly simple things like setting the table, emptying the dishwasher, assisting with laundry & putting away their own clean clothes. They will receive more time consuming/difficult chores as they get older. They also have chores that they don't earn money for like putting dirty clothes in the hamper, cleaning up toys, clearing their plate after a meal etc. If they don't complete the chore that earns money then they don't receive the money. My goal is to teach them both that they need to contribute to the household, but also that we value their help and also how to budget/save for things they want. I think letting them decide when/what to spend their money on is a very valuable lesson. They have also been learning how much things really cost. In DS's words "I can't buy anything good for less than $10!!! ugh!!!". lol So far the combo of chores you have to do and chores you can do to earn $ has worked really well for us.

Good luck deciding!!!

This is us exactly! Our girls are similar ages (5 & 7) and this works well for our family as well. When they get a bit older we'll tweak the plan and go from there.

 

[yeahdisney]

OP good for you. Teaching them towards their futures. Budgeting is a life needed skill.

State your reasonings for the budget and share you both can revisit in two months. See if u are giving too much or not enough. Let them sell u why if not enough.

You spoil them, lucky that you can. Just guide them towards their future. I got one spoiled niece and she is not responsible money wise, bit her in the bottom lots of times. I use her as examples in my house budgeting lessons.

 

[NinaBella]

Thanks!

I

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

Thanks!

I mentioned the allowance to DD last night and she loves the idea of an allowance. She says she spends less when she goes to the mall with friends because she only has a limited amount of money. So this seems good. On the way home from practice she also mentioned she needed some make-up remover wipes. So I joked with her that she needs to start carrying her wallet with her so she can buy things like this with her own money. So she said it's not January yet! LOL. She is not in the habit of carrying her wallet or even a purse. She usually wears jeans and carries her phone in her back pocket. I guess it's a good thing that Kipling had a sale on their small cross body purses and I ordered three for her. She is going to need to carry her wallet everywhere now. Our bank also has a great mobile app so if needed I can transfer funds out of her account back into mine if she forgets her wallet.

My kids keep a $5 or $10 tucked into the back of their phone case (between the phone and case) for emergencies.

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

You spoil them, lucky that you can. Just guide them towards their future. I got one spoiled niece and she is not responsible money wise, bit her in the bottom lots of times. I use her as examples in my house budgeting lessons.

My kids really don't want for anything, but they are very different in their money habits! My son is a natural saver while my daughter is a natural spender. It is pretty funny how different they are with money. My son even likes to listen to Dave Ramsey with me. I don't worry about him. My daughter, though.....

 

[Jake&IzzyLand]

My kids would want to come live with many of you!

My kids do not earn any money for doing what is expected of then to help the family and our home. Just like no one pays me to make dinner or do laundry or how no one pays my husband to mow or shovel snow.

My kid's save all of their money for now, but they are young and do not have expenses.

I am on them all the time about the value of work and money. And if you let go of your money you are helping someone else's bottom line, not your own.

We do not have everything, but we want for nothing.

 

[bjscheel]

It's hard to decide how to handle things. My kids get $1/age/month, i.e. DD14 gets $14/month. That's not a lot, now that they are getting bigger, but I haven't revised it. So I still pay for a lot of things like smoothies after school, and all of their clothes- if it's something I want them to have. If I think it unnecessary, they can figure out whether to pay or go without.

Them not carrying their money is always an issue- sometimes I front the money and get paid back.

DD17 has a job that pays $35/week and she puts it all in savings almost every payday. She seems to be getting along on her allowance and birthday money. She is careful with it, though having a boyfriend now she spends more on activities than she used to. We pay for her gas and vehicle so she can save her earnings for college years.

The allowance is not tied to chores. Those are to be done without wondering what's in it for them. Sometimes they have a lot of work to do- mowing the acreage takes up to 3 hours, and there's always branches and sticks to pick up. They spent most of the summer of 2014 cleaning up major storm damage. Even during this Christmas break there are three piles of sticks to haul out and a tractor loader dump of logs to stack. Poor kids are so sick of cleaning up trees!

 

[tvguy]

Thanks. Talking to DH I think we will start at $40 a week.

.

You want to adopt me? That's more than I spend on coffee, vending machines and gasoline a week!

 

[tvguy]

Never did an allowance. It always was "if you need it, buy it". Clothing and anything to do with school we paid for. They got way too much money for birthday's and Christmas, and that paid for any video games etc. They're 24 and 28 now, so it has been a few years since it was an issue.

But we've never budgeted in our household anyway. Our budgeting was, this is how much we earn, necessities got paid for first, anything left was for option expenditures or went into savings. Cash only, credit card for travel and emergencies. Just one credit card. I had a Montgomery Ward Credit Card but of course they are defunct. And I had an ARCO gasoline credit card until they went cash only (and debit now too, but with a fee)

 

[NinaBella]

[Q

 

[barkley]

I am also changing the way we do Christmas too! For example, I already told DH and the kids that we are opening ALL presents on Christmas EVE! One of the adult sons lives 45 minutes away so I told him so he can be here. We have a nice patio (recently done) with a firepit. So my plan is to put on some holiday music, firepit, some wine (beer for the boys I am sure) and open presents, maybe play some games. THEN we can all sleep in Christmas morning! Otherwise, DD would be up at 5 AM making as much noise as she could to get everyone awake. Plus, the holiday pictures always look horrible with everyone's messy hair, mismatched clothes they slept in, etc. I am hoping to have some nicer pictures and less grump older kids who were woken way too early by little sister! LOL.

Next year, I am thinking of having everyone draw names to exchange gifts. I am always the one who buys everything and wraps everything. Heck I even buy and wrap my own gifts. On occasion, DH will surprise me with a gift but for the most part it's me doing 100% of the Christmas Santa gig. There are no 'little ones' in my near future. Neither older son have a girlfriend. So might as well enjoy Christmas Eve and enjoy sleeping in while we can.

curious-what's the age difference between dd and her brothers?

you are doing the identical thing my mom did when I was around 8 or 10. my brothers were all older (as much as 16 years) and my mom felt the same way about the holiday. not saying it was good or bad but as a direct result my kids (now both adults) still have to wait until Christmas morning to open their gifts (except for the traditional new set of pajamas everyone gets). when I was younger it was fun to get to open everything on Christmas eve but then Christmas morning always felt to me like a bit of a let down (mom did hold off on stockings till Christmas morning but she was a big fan of just fruit and nuts so not much of a surprise).

hope your new tradition goes really well-over 45 years later we do still hold on to one of mom's Christmas eve traditions by doing French dip sandwiches (b/c it was the only meal she could prepare ahead of time to have ready to serve hot to each of my brothers as they arrived).


merry Christmas!

 

[NinaBella]

[Q

 

[mi*vida*loca]

A lot of Latinos do exactly that on Xmas eve (noche Buena).

We stay up late eating, drinking, dancing and basically partying. It's just like New Year's Eve. Then at midnight we open gifts. The rest if the night you continue partying and Xmas day is spent sleeping in and relaxing.

We've done this with family but still done Xmas morning at home bc Santa comes after we go to bed. This year we will open after we get back from families house and sleep in Xmas day.

I can't wait!

 

[tzolkin]

I think the amount of allowance depends completely on what you normally spend on the child and what your income/lifestyle are. Any suggestions from others are going to be completely off for your particular situation.

In our household $40/week per child would be absolutely outrageous. I am not willing to add an extra $520 per month to give the three of them as allowance to our household budget. I don't spend a fraction of that amount on any individual in the family. If I were to give my personal opinion, $40/month would be high.

But I know that's completely unrealistic for others. Some have mentioned school lunch costing $7 per day. $40/week would barely cover lunch so for those families $40 would be too low.

ETA: I do think the allowance is a great idea and will teach the kids valuable budgeting skills. You may even find that the kids spend less than you were previously spending on them each week since it's their "own" money.

 

[aprilgail]

Before school starts I put 1,000.00 into her checking account, that is for school clothes and school activities for the year. if she spends to much then the rest of it comes out of her own money. This year though I have to alter that a little bit, with 3 SAT's at 53.00 each. Two SAT2 subject tests at 50.00, ACT test I forget what that cost, 275.00 for SAT prep, 400.00 for Drivers Ed, and 4 AP exams at 90.00 each that is already at almost 1500.00 so I guess I have to pay all those while she pays her normal school expenses!

 

[aprilchem]

You want to adopt me? That's more than I spend on coffee, vending machines and gasoline a week!

Yes, that amount seems very high to me. I budget out an "allowance" for me into our monthly budget (which I call blow money, not allowance). It's money that I can spend on myself without guilt. We're fairly high earners, and I don't budget that much per week for myself - usually somewhere around $30 a week.

My kids get their age in allowance - of that, they have to save 1/3, they can spend 1/3, and they have to give 1/3 to a charity of their choosing.