Allie left us 'same way she came - loved'

[janette]

A column from the local paper, this is the 3rd column she's written about Allie. Thought some of you would like to read it.

Allie left us 'same way she came - loved'

10:23 PM CDT on Tuesday, September 14, 2004

By Jacquielynn Floyd / The Dallas Morning News

Allie Scott slipped away Monday night. She died the way I would choose for myself, the way I would choose for anybody: peacefully and quietly, surrounded by the people who loved her best.

The last things she heard and saw were their soothing voices and familiar faces.
The terminal illness and loss of a 9-month-old baby is such a cruel disruption of the natural order that a lot of people can't even bear to imagine it. But Allie's young parents coped with grace and wisdom that, day after day, left me speechless with admiration.

I first wrote about Allie and her parents, Jenny and Andrew, last month. They were still holding out hope for a cure, or at least remission of their baby's leukemia, even though an earlier stem cell transplant didn't seem to be working.

Even on the worst days, Jenny kept up an online account of Allie's progress on a family Web page Andrew designed, www.scotthouse hold.com.

Her candid daily journal, spread by word of cybermouth, eventually reached upward of 10,000 readers daily. Complete strangers were converted to "Allie fans" who sent messages of support, meals, toys or just their prayers.

They applauded every sign of progress, ached with sympathy at every setback. I was one of them.

By early this month, Allie's family knew that they would probably lose her:

I alternate between wanting to beg her not to leave us, and wanting to let her know it's OK to go if she is ready, Jenny wrote on Sept. 5. I don't want her to live a life that is filled with pain and discomfort. That isn't a life.

Most wrenching are the little details showing that even while the cancer got stronger, Allie was an engaging baby who blossomed in response to love and care and attention. She cut five new teeth; she learned to blow a hearty Bronx cheer; she babbled affably in baby language. She would reach out wonderingly and caress the nearest human face.

Sept. 6: It amazes me that she continues to do new things. Her newest things involve human contact – she craves it.

A last-ditch experimental drug failed to slow the leukemia's spread. Last week, Allie's parents and doctors agreed to stop medical treatment and focus her care on "comfort measures." Jenny's worst scenario – every parent's worst – was coming true.
But Jenny found time to comfort the mother of a man in a neighboring hospital room who was failing rapidly:

Our neighbor Ted is coming to the close of his life ... I had to speak to May. We held each other and cried. Both mothers wanting no more suffering for our babies. Doesn't matter that her baby is much older than mine, he is her baby no less.

Last Friday, Jenny explained in her journal why the family would stay in the 12th-floor room at Medical City Dallas Hospital instead of taking their baby home to die: This hospital has become Allie's home. Our home, too. These people who live here with us are more than just neighbors. Taking Allie home is not an option ... we don't want to uproot her from what she knows. We need the strength that the doctors and nurses pass on to us.

On Friday night, friends brought cake and champagne to the hospital. Allie's family and friends drank a toast to honor her life.
On Saturday night, hundreds – that is correct, hundreds – of friends, relatives and extended-family "Allie fans" gathered on the hospital parking lot for a candlelight vigil.

A woman who drove from Austin to be there told me she had never met Jenny before but felt from reading her online journal "like she's been a friend for years."

Jenny, who was a middle school French teacher in Plano until her baby got sick, was astonished to see old friends, fellow teachers, former students and loving strangers.

There was such a sense of warmth and community outpouring from everyone. I asked for my students to raise their hands. Then a voice yells out, "We love you, Mrs. Scott!"

It was one of her favorite class clowns.
On Monday, Allie, suffering now with cancer that had spread to her brain and nervous system, needed extra medicine to keep the pain at bay. At 4 p.m., Jenny wrote:

The truth of the matter is that we don't want her to hurt anymore. Both of us have held her and calmly told her that it is okay to let go. We don't want her to suffer anymore.

She is surrounded by love. She will never know hate. Ever. She will leave this world the same way she came – loved.

Allie died quietly a little after 11 p.m. Her brief life stands as testimony to the old saw, the Bible lesson, the universal human truth – call it what you want – that love and faith trump death and grief.
Allie Scott lived and died surrounded by the people who loved her best. It's the death I would choose for anybody.

It's the life I would choose as well.

E-mail jfloyd@dallasnews.com

 

[Margie J]

Thank you for this post.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

That was so beautifully written, and has brought me to tears... Words fail me, it is so sad and powerful at the same time. May God Bless everyone touched by Allie!

 

[DisMN]

Thankyou so much for sharing this tonite. It sure puts things into perspective doesn't it?

 

[LittleMissMickey]

That story amazes me. I am crying now, and cannot believe the hardships some people go through and the tremendous faith that they have to greet each day the way the Scotts have. Thank you for sharing.

Ashley

 

[ksjayhawks]

Janette I am so glad you posted that article. It is so beautifully written!

Here is the post that Allie's mother made tonite. I don't know how she could do it, so soon afer Allie passed!

Tuesday, Sept 14th

10:00pm--I witnessed the most beautiful thing ever. My daughter became an angel. We were surrounded by some of the most important people in our life, family and friends. Some of those people we have known for many years, while others only a few months (spent in the hospital--those months feel like years!). Doesn't matter how long we have known them, we will continue to know them for a long time. We sang to Allie and touched her all over. I sang "Wonder" acapella while the rest listened. Allie has always been comforted by music. Her lullaby CD also played and she and I rocked to the music.

True to Allie, her passing was unique. We were all talking at once when I noticed her breathing had stopped. I quieted everyone, and we had Michelle check her heart rate. Allie was gone. Sobbing started. Andrew and I enveloped Allie in our arms and felt her leave her body. I could just feel it. Then, all of a sudden, I felt a strong sensation, and I knew Allie was back. She took a big breath. Everyone said it was just a reflex. No, she had returned. Our girl had been gone from us for somewhere between three to five minutes, and she then returned. It was forty more minutes before she would pass. Angela, one of my best friends and Allie's former babysitter, arrived shortly after the "first death." We all believe in our hearts that Allie did leave her body at that time. She must have surveyed the room, seen us crying, and noted the absence of her beloved Angela. We think she came back for her to be with us at the time of her passing.

In those forty minutes, we continued to love on each other. Somewhere near twenty people were in and out of the room. Dennis held her arm and felt her pulse. Jim cued up the power point of "Sweet Baby Allie"--a tribute of her life made by someone in June. We sat and watched, continuing to stroke Allie all over.

At 11:05pm, my daughter left the world to a heaven where there is no leukemia. She beat the disease. She is no longer in any kind of pain. When I pass, I hope it is with such gentleness and beauty.

It was another two hours before we left the hospital. Though we were given the option to stay for the night or to come back to retrieve our stuff, Andrew and I felt the urgency to get it done right away. By two o'clock, we were fast asleep in our home.

A memorial service in Allie's honor is planned for Thursday afternoon. 4:30 First Baptist Church of Plano, 1300 E. 15th Street

While we understand your need to grieve and your longing to help, please understand our need for privacy. We cannot take phone calls or visitors at this time. Yes, I have made this a public website. I have shared moments about our life this summer, including those that were easy for us. No, I won't stop writing. I may not write every night, but I find therapy in typing on this keyboard. It allows the thoughts swarming in my head to be released. It provides me an outlet for my pain.

Channel 8 news did a short piece this morning about Allie's passing. Instead of an average obituary, we are honored to have Jacquielynn Floyd write a piece on her. I just finished reading it on The Dallas Morning News website. The best yet. She did a tribute to my little girl like no other could. People have been kind and generous, wanting to help our family.

We have asked that donations to Light the Night 12 South Angels team in Plano be made in lieu of flowers. Andrew and I have a knack for killing flowers and plants faster than most. Even those plants that people swear to us are low maintenance "guaranteed you won't kill"--die in our home. Floral arrangements are expensive. And they don't last. Money to research not only lasts longer than the shelf life of a floral arrangement, it can help ensure that one day, some child will not experience the same pain my baby did. Please, no flowers or plants necessary. If you want to help, donate to www.active.com/donate/allieandsam.

Mementos and keepsakes have poured in. We thank those that have sent us things. However, there are only so many things I can have. At this time, we ask you to refrain from purchasing more keepsakes for us. Again, put the money to research. More important to me right now. My new passion and life's purpose. I will honor my child's memory by doing so. I will keep her alive in my heart.

With love,
Jenny


Prayers to your family Jenny!

Fly, baby Allie, fly!!!!

 

[mickey65]

Thank-you, Janette for sharing that with us. Written so beautifully.

 

[Disney Enthusiast]

Such a beautiful tribute to dear little Allie. My 3 yr old came down the stairs as I was reading and noticed I was crying. He said, "What's wrong Mommy, are you o.k.?" I will hold my children a little tighter today and tell them how much I love them many times over.

Thank you Allie for reminding me what is important and precious. My heart goes out to you and your family.

 

[tnkrbell]

Really beautiful and sad!!

 

[Kitty 34]

 

[kimber79]

Thank you for sharing this. What a very beautiful tribute to beautiful baby Allie!

 

[browneyes]

Her parents amaze me. They are such strong people. I can only imagine what the last 9 months has been like for them. They remain in my prayers.

 

[bubie2.5]

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Thank you for posting that.

I read the update on the family's website just a little bit ago. I think possibly writing helps her mother cope. She knows a lot of people are thinking of her little angel these days and I think that helps her too.

I can't even imagine what they are going through but I think they are very strong and I hope that precious Allie's story can make more people aware of this horrible disease.

 

[Divamomto3]

Thank you for posting that for us. I was one of those far away strangers that followed Allie's story.
I hope her parents are comforted in the fact that her story has touched so many lives.

 

[Trish Bessette]

Beautifully written. So very sad, yet you know Allie is a beautiful 'lil angel now.

Prayers to the family and wishes that no one has to endure that pain.