Alcohol Pressure

[LaidBackDad]

I know exactly what you mean by "pressure" although I don't know if that's the right phrase but you can definitely be made to feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, we have experienced what you are talking about and it is very common. I would even go as far to say it happens more often than not, albeit some places to a greater degree than others. Complaining to a manager does absolutely no good as the post above says that "pressure" is usually encouraged by management in the first place. All you can do is enjoy your vacation and hope you get a decent server, then come back here later and tell us about your experience.

 

[MomiTo2SwtGuys]

We are not "drinkers" and have never felt pressured to buy alcohol. I think you probably got a "not so pleasant" server on that trip.

 

[Uncleromulus]

I think the way we have the tipping system here has something to do with this--clearly the more expensive the bill, the higher the tip. Naturally any server would welcome a higher bill and alcohol does run the bill up quite a bit!!

But seems to me servers work just as hard getting your H2O or soda to the table as they do getting you a beer or a glass of wine.

Anyway, not sure what point I just tried to make, but since we always have drinks with dinner I claim no direct experience with the OP's situation---

 

[cruisingtwins]

And this is why I hate tipping culture. We don't drink alcohol or soda, tap water is fine for us we often share meals and never order desserts (not because we are cheap we just hate wasting food). We are a servers worst nightmare lol. I wish restaurants just paid their employees fairly so I can eat whatever I want without fearing I bad service/the stink eye from our servers.

 

[mickeygirl78]

We rarely order alcohol and have never had a problem. We did get pressured to order dessert at Captains Grille though. The waitress kept telling us since we were on the dining plan it was free and she wouldn't let up. There were 7 of us, so she had a guaranteed 18% tip and it felt like she only wanted us to get the dessert to drive the tip up. She had already been rude and I regret not saying something to the manager.

 

[TXAKDisneyFan]

I have never been bothered. Sometimes I order a drink, my DH does not due to a medical issue. He often orders water, and sometimes we all do. As others have said, it is hot! Plus, with the refillable mugs, there is only so much ice tea I can drink. I have never gotten attitude from a CM. I am wondering if families with children (me) would not be as expected to order drinks? My in-laws are like yours, and after being sat down by my MIL 20 years ago to hear the house rules (no alchohol), I will never order a drink in front of her!

"House rules"? Yikes...

 

[Yahweh]

Have you talked to your parents to see if they would feel uncomfortable if you had a glass of wine?

My parents would say something like "this is your vacation...if you guys want to have a glass of wine go ahead!" And I believe they'd be sincere. But I'm so weird that I'm probably more uncomfortable drinking in front of them than they'd be.

 

[burberryplaid]

We are planning a trip to Disney with my parents who don't drink. And out of respect for them, my wife and
I will likely not order wine (or any other happy juice) with our meals.

Does anyone else feel pressure, particularly at the signature restaurants, to order alcohol during sit-down meals at Disney from the wait staff? I know the $13 glass of wine really helps the waiters' improve their average bill total, and I get that, but I really don't want to feel like I'm being cheap when we simply order food. Plus none of us are huge eaters. We usually just order a main course and share a dessert. The glasses of wine has traditionally balanced out the lack of appetizers.

My concern primarily stems from an experience at the California grill where my wife and I both ordered sushi, with two $12-14 glasses of wine, mind you. The waiter kept telling us that the Sushi was not big enough for a full meal and was more of an appetizer. He seemed really put out that we were not ordering main courses. When he dropped off the Sushi, his comment to us was simply "here are your appetizers." And was as cold as I have ever seen a waiter be. If he was at all pleasant about it, he would have quickly found out that we'd have ordered another round of Sushi, and two more glasses of wine. Probably, dessert to boot. BTW had TIW card and the 18% tip was already guaranteed.

Anyways I was curious if anyone else was treated poorly due to what they ordered or not ordered, particularly alcohol? I just want to be loved by my servers !

I would hope you don't feel pressured! Me and DH have drinks now & then but most times we don't drink & have never felt pressured to order drinks at any Disbey restaurant, even a fancy one.

 

[mommycrawford]

In the past, when booking dining reservations, I asked about what you "had to" order, and they clearly said only what you want. I think I wanted to go to Beaches and Cream for just dessert. Servers have a stake in how much you order assuming you tip based on your bill amount. Don't accept any pressure!...you are there to enjoy yourself! That said, if I linger at a table ridiculously, I do make sure to inflate the gratuity because the server is losing money, but don't feel obligated to please the server over yourselves. It is supposed to be fun!

 

[Uncleromulus]

And this is why I hate tipping culture. We don't drink alcohol or soda, tap water is fine for us we often share meals and never order desserts (not because we are cheap we just hate wasting food). We are a servers worst nightmare lol. I wish restaurants just paid their employees fairly so I can eat whatever I want without fearing I bad service/the stink eye from our servers.

The problem is--what is "fairly"?? What would a server expect to make?? $15 an hour maybe?? Some servers I know tell me that's the minimum they'd want to deal with the "general public" that eat out.

What would that do to the price of the meal itself? Or the quality of service if the server will make $15 an hour if they are good or just going thru the motions? Servers would soon know who the deadbeat is getting $15 an hour while they work their tail off for the same $$

Plus would a restaurant manager want to pay $15 an hour to a server who isn't busy at times? Right now the restaurant pays probably $2.75 an hour so if the server isn't busy, no great loss. But at $15 an hour it would be.

The idea is a good one but there would be problems associated with its implementation---

 

[cruisingtwins]

The problem is--what is "fairly"?? What would a server expect to make?? $15 an hour maybe?? Some servers I know tell me that's the minimum they'd want to deal with the "general public" that eat out.

What would that do to the price of the meal itself? Or the quality of service if the server will make $15 an hour if they are good or just going thru the motions? Servers would soon know who the deadbeat is getting $15 an hour while they work their tail off for the same $$

Plus would a restaurant manager want to pay $15 an hour to a server who isn't busy at times? Right now the restaurant pays probably $2.75 an hour so if the server isn't busy, no great loss. But at $15 an hour it would be.

The idea is a good one but there would be problems associated with its implementation---

There are tons of countries where tipping is not used and it seems to workout. The price of the food I guess it would have to go up 18% or whatever to adjust the raise in salaries. If you can predict when the restaurant is not going to be busy then you hire less staff for those hours. If an employee is not doing their job as they should then they should get a warning.

 

[happymommy]

I have never been bothered. Sometimes I order a drink, my DH does not due to a medical issue. He often orders water, and sometimes we all do. As others have said, it is hot! Plus, with the refillable mugs, there is only so much ice tea I can drink. I have never gotten attitude from a CM. I am wondering if families with children (me) would not be as expected to order drinks? My in-laws are like yours, and after being sat down by my MIL 20 years ago to hear the house rules (no alchohol), I will never order a drink in front of her!

"House Rules"? I am an adult. If I were told by my MIL not to drink, I would tell her that's none of her business. That is amazingly rude.

I have friends who cannot drink for various reasons, but that wouldn't stop me from enjoying my wine with dinner, especially on vacation.

To the OP: It's your decision whether or not you drink. I've never had a server treat me one way or the other whether I order a drink with a meal or not. Some servers are obviously more cordial than others, at Disney and other places. Most at Disney are great, though!

 

[Uncleromulus]

There are tons of countries where tipping is not used and it seems to workout. The price of the food I guess it would have to go up 18% or whatever to adjust the raise in salaries. If you can predict when the restaurant is not going to be busy then you hire less staff for those hours. If an employee is not doing their job as they should then they should get a warning.

Such predictions are not always that easy. At WDW perhaps easier since most every day is busy--at home tho, not so easy.

And raise prices by a whole lot and you'll have menu sticker shock on the part of customers.

And as a server--you get $15 for waiting on a couple or four tables of 2 and 4--while server "y" gets just $15 for a table of 18 screaming girl soccer players and their alleged chaperones.

 

[IceSkatingPrincess]

I have never been pressured one way or the other.

 

[TXAKDisneyFan]

There are tons of countries where tipping is not used and it seems to workout. The price of the food I guess it would have to go up 18% or whatever to adjust the raise in salaries. If you can predict when the restaurant is not going to be busy then you hire less staff for those hours. If an employee is not doing their job as they should then they should get a warning.

I just read an article a couple weeks ago about a restaurant in the US that increased salaries and eliminated tipping. It didn't last long, and they're reverting back because servers weren't happy.

 

[DISNEY1975]

Absolutely no pressure at all. I always eat at signature restaurants and can not recall even being asked about wine. We are given menus with drink options, then the waitstaff comes and asks if we would like to order drinks. I get my gingerale or lemonade, my husband a coke. They take the order and that's it. We don't drink alcohol and have never been pushed to do so.

 

[Uncleromulus]

I just read an article a couple weeks ago about a restaurant in the US that increased salaries and eliminated tipping. It didn't last long, and they're reverting back because servers weren't happy.

Not too surprising --I have MANY server friends and w/o the possibility of tips, it would probably take MORE than $15 an hour for them to put up with what they have to put up while dealing with the "general public"

 

[bumbershoot]

The problem is--what is "fairly"?? What would a server expect to make?? $15 an hour maybe?? Some servers I know tell me that's the minimum they'd want to deal with the "general public" that eat out.

What would that do to the price of the meal itself? Or the quality of service if the server will make $15 an hour if they are good or just going thru the motions? Servers would soon know who the deadbeat is getting $15 an hour while they work their tail off for the same $$

Plus would a restaurant manager want to pay $15 an hour to a server who isn't busy at times? Right now the restaurant pays probably $2.75 an hour so if the server isn't busy, no great loss. But at $15 an hour it would be.

The idea is a good one but there would be problems associated with its implementation---

Almost every other country in the world has managed to work this out. All we have to do is realize that we don't have the best way of doing things, and to look at how other countries do things and take cueues from them.

"House Rules"? I am an adult. If I were told by my MIL not to drink, I would tell her that's none of her business. That is amazingly rude.

Absolutely.



If someone in my family didn't drink but told us that it's OK if we drink (like the OP says his parents will do), if I wanted a drink I'd have a drink. One of my new, and dear, friends has a husband who is 20+ years sober, but he has absolutely ZERO problem with people drinking around him. His wife (an addiction counselor!) keeps wine in the house for herself. I've learned from them that many longtime sober people have no problem with others drinking around them. I figure if they can handle it, those who choose for other reasons to not drink can deal with it as well, when we're out in public.

 

[pa. dad]

Almost every other country in the world has managed to work this out. All we have to do is realize that we don't have the best way of doing things, and to look at how other countries do things and take cueues from them.



Absolutely.



If someone in my family didn't drink but told us that it's OK if we drink (like the OP says his parents will do), if I wanted a drink I'd have a drink. One of my new, and dear, friends has a husband who is 20+ years sober, but he has absolutely ZERO problem with people drinking around him. His wife (an addiction counselor!) keeps wine in the house for herself. I've learned from them that many longtime sober people have no problem with others drinking around them. I figure if they can handle it, those who choose for other reasons to not drink can deal with it as well, when we're out in public.

Not all people with drinking problems are the same and it does bother some people who are trying to stay sober to be around drinkers and drinking.
Just because someone knows someone who is 20 years sober and now okay with it does not make everyone that long sober or that resistant to temptations.
If I go to somebody else's house and they don;t serve alcohol, I won't ask "Is it because you're cheap or is Uncle Freddie a real boozer"? I just accept it. A few meals without liquor isn;t going to kill me - if I want a beer I'll have one when I get back to the house or hotel room.

 

[margot31]

I have never felt any pressure from staff to order a beer or something...If any pressure it was from myself weather or not I wanted something.