Last question. We have went to the airport and walked through security so dd would know what to expect once there. But there was no one there but us. No lines or waiting.
I have never flown before so could you tell me what to expect, what I need to do once there? From checking in and getting tickets to showing ID? Or a website where the steps are shown? I don't want to miss our flight and it is better if I know what to expect so I can warn dd.
It is often possible to check in online and print your boarding passes at home. How that is handled and how close to boarding you can do it varies a little from airline to airline.
Let's say that you did not do online check in.
When you get to the airport, follow the signs for check in for your airline.
There may be several different lines for your airline - sometimes there is a separate line for people flying First Class.
Check in
It would be helpful if you have a harness for your child or if she is in her stroller. You will be busy for a little while answering questions and it will be easier if your DD is more contained.
When you get to the desk, hand your tickets to the agent. You will also need to have ID for all the adults in your party at that time (you don't need ID for children). The agent will look at your tickets, check the IDs and verify your seats. You will also be asked how many bags you are checking (handing over at the time of check in for the airline to handle). There will be a scale that is about 6-8 inches off the ground next to the agent's desk. You will be asked to lift your checked luggage onto the scale for weighing. After it has been weighed, the agent will attach a baggage tag to each piece of luggage.
You will be told to remove the luggage from the scale. If you will be gate checking your stroller, ask about it when you check in. You will probably be told to ask about it at the gate, but the check in agent will sometimes do the gate check tag. Since it is noted on your reservation that you may require help, I am assuming the airline is aware of it. This would be something to mention to the airline agent who is checking you in. They can assign a skycap to help you.
When your check in is complete, the agent will hand you your tickets with boarding passes and a claim check for each piece of checked luggage. You will need to bring your luggage to the luggage security screening area. That is usually only a few feet from where you checked in. After you have handed your luggage to the TSA luggage agents, your check in part is complete and it's time to go to security.
The TSA website shows videos so kids will know what to expect! I love that. Dd watched them last night.I am really worried about taking her shoes off and putting them on. During the trial run, she ran off while I was putting my shoes back on! It is noted that I may need help with dd during security on our tickets but I don't know who that will be or even where to find that help.
TSA Security Check
The check in area is well marked and you will see other people being checked. If you feel it would help you and your DD, hang back and watch some people check in for a while.
The process would be the same as on the video and on your trial.
When you get to the security checkpoint, you need to show ID for each adult and also show your ticket. The TSA agent will match the names on the tickets to the names on the ID. From that point, you will just be following along a line and will do the same things you did in your practice.
Remember that you can only go thru the security line after you have been screened. You can always go out of the secured area without problem, but you can't go in without being screened. So, go first and let your DD go behind you. That way, if she runs away or does not want to come, you will not be stuck on the wrong side of the security checkpoint.
Just before you get to the scanner, they will take your stroller from you and take it around the scanner (there is no point taking it thru the scanner, since it is metal, the scanner will go off).
You will be asked to remove coats and shoes and place those on the conveyor belt to go thru the xray machine. Taking them off ahead of time and carrying them will make things easier as you get to the scanner. Your purse and any carry on items will also go thru the xray machine. You want to remove anything with metal from both you and your DD; metal will make the walk thru scanner alarm. I would just suggest making sure your pockets are empty. If your DD is wearing a child harness/leash, she would be able to wear it to walk thru security as long as it does not contain metal (snaps, buckles, etc.). Having that on may give you more control of her and you can hold onto the harness while you are getting your shoes on.
After you have passed thru the scanner, you can take your property off the conveyor belt. You are not allowed to reach into the 'tunnel' it comes out of. You need to wait for it to come entirely out in the open.
They will check the stroller with a handheld scanner, maybe a mirror to look underneath and some wipes that check for explosives. Even though you can see your stroller, you are not allowed to go to it or touch it until the TSA agent releases it to you.
Gate and BoardingAfter going thru security, follow the signs to find your gate. You will need to show your tickets/boarding passes again at the time you board, but you will not need to show ID. If you did not get a gate check tag for your stroller, do that when you get to the gate. You don't want to wait until boarding. You will need to show your boarding pass for that so that they can correctly tag your stroller.
If you want to preboard (get on board the airplane before they start letting other passengers on), ask at the gate before boarding begins. Some people like to preboard because they can board without a lot of other people around and can get settled before the others are boarded. Preboarding does mean you will be on the plane in your seats longer, so some people prefer to wait until most of the plane is boarded. There is not a right or wrong answer, but if you need time to fold your stroller, you may want to preboard.
When you board, you will need to show your boarding passes. The agent will read a bar code on the pass with a bar code reader. You will not need to show any ID, so you can actually put your ID away once you are thru security. After your boarding pass has been read, the agent will direct you to go down a long hallway (the gate) that leads to the plane.
You can wheel your stroller all the way to entrance to the plane. At that point, you will fold it and leave it for the baggage handlers to take. One or several flight attendants will be standing just inside the door of the plane. They will look at your boarding passes and tell you which way and how far to go to your seats.
She can't wear slip on shoes as they fall off her feet. I do have a pair of boots that are easy for her to get on and off quickly so that might be best for her.
For the moment. 
At least it will be ONCE, twice if you count coming back home that we would ahve to deal with shoes. 
Next time she will probably be too big for this option so might as well take advantage of it now.
I am going to beg for this option! 
I can only hold my breath for so long. 
I wonder if I ask about it, if they will let us though?
