I am so sorry for you Cathryn. I know how you feel, my mother passed away when I was 19, 15 years ago. The pain never goes away, but believe it or not, it does get better. When I think of my mother now, I don't think of her and feel sad, I actually laugh alot at all the funny things she did and all the great things she taught me and my siblings. Good luck to you, and I hope you feel better soon.