agree to disagree? gray areas everywhere

[lindsmom]

You must be new here. I think sometimes hades has more compassion that this bunch of "Disney" fans... visit the community board sometimes.

Haha! I have many thoughts but avoid getting into it usually - it's not worth the popcorn comments

Okay, ETA: I guess I can't hold back - I went through most of the comments. Personally, I do not have backup care. I have missed opportunities for extra work shifts because I do not have backup care. I consider "backup" to include someone that I feel comfortable / safe leaving my 14 month old for 5 - 6 hours. My choices are my mother who is becoming senile (she recently called me because she was lost in the next town over and couldn't find my house), my mother in law who has a blown rotator so she can't lift my son, my sister in law who has a full time job, my neighbor who is an alcoholic, or my other neighbor who has two large dogs that jump on anything that moves. I will not risk my child's safety with any of those situations (except my sister in law, and I'm not willing to risk her job for that).

IF I got the phone call that my husband or daughter were in the hospital, I would call my sister in law, and ask her to get out of work and she would. But that is an EMERGENCY situation. I'm not being dramatic, I just don't have that support system. He will be in preschool in another year and a half, and there would be the opportunity to ask for extra hours there. That will be backup care. Until then, I am his Primary Care and his Backup Care, and I'm okay with that.

Oh, and for those looking for the legal citation, it's jury act 28 usc1863(b)(5)(A) . It doesn't "guarantee" exemption, but there is a provision for "grounds for requesting excuse" for caretakers of children under ten years of age...whose safety would be jeopardized by their absence..."

 

[Tinkmom]

This is a state blow by blow. There does seem to be a federal law with those caring for children under 10.

http://www.familyfriendlyjuryduty.org/JuryStates/JuryStates.htm

These are not "absolute" excuses from jury service. They are suggested categories for which someone MIGHT be excused, if additional facts of the specific situation support it.

 

[andymattmom]

Indiana uses voters registration and DMV to get info for jurors. I vote...husband doesn't and we have both been called for duty. We fill out a form and mail it back and then you can get called or not based on that. I have filled mine out and NEVER been called back---guess working for CASA before kids paid off. He has been called to once but didn't serve just lost a days work.

I know Arizona does NOT purge it's records though! Lived there 18 years ago. Haven't voted there in 18 years nor had license there in 18 years. About 10 years got a summons and they said I had to send in info requesting name be removed....did that. Five years ago got another summons and spoke with some person who said they don't purge...people who are dead still get summons there. FINALLY I think I have gotten off the list. I told lady I hadn't live there in 15 years (at that time) and she didn't seemed phased at all. WHATEVER!

Jury duty is not fun BUT we all need to serve and do our time. It is understandable with small kids but it can be done. When I worked for CASA I had my son who was 5 weeks old and had to go to a case...just kept him in carrier and had someone watch him outside courtroom...that was it. Granted not jury duty but we all have to do at some point....not fun but I did serve in Arizona and it was kind of interesting.

Some place some people might want to look who have no daycare or relatives is with your church. Ask if someone there would watch or if they have daycare they might be more willing to take for a day. Maybe someone there would watch. If you have sitter trouble give contact info to the local high school and interview kids for times after school, weekend nights, etc for standby or date nights. Know it wouldn't work for jury duty but for a day off in summer or something it is a starting point!

 

[2girlsR2good]

I had my son who was 5 weeks old and had to go to a case...just kept him in carrier and had someone watch him outside courtroom...that was it.

Seriously? You just asked someone sitting in the hall outside the courtroom to watch your 5 week old?? I'm blown away! More power to you, but I could not have done that.

@stitchlovesstink. ha ha! Yep, that ad pretty much describes my parents.

Now that the girls are 6, they will take them. But DH and I never spent a night together away from the girls until they were 5. After the first couple of years, we could/would have hired someone to spend the night, but we just couldn't find anything to do that seemed worth spending over $100 on babysitting alone.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Something many seem to be missing: being the primary caretaker to a child under 10 is by federal law an absolute excuse from jury duty. You don't have to be a sahm to be a primary caretaker but it would qualify. Most of the time you just write this on the long form they mail you after the initial summons and you are done. I personally think this is a great law and no different than excusing EMTs and firefighters etc.

Then in all seriousness (i.e. not challenging this poster at all), why would the Federal court clerk tell the OP that her "regular excuse" isn't an excuse in Federal court?

 

[MissElizabeth]

[snip] A SAHM who wants to be excused for that reason is acting entitled.

I think that, right there, is the crux of the argument. To the OP- its no more of an inconvenience for your husband to miss a day of work and pay than it is for any other juror in that courtroom to miss a day of work and pay. It sucks for all of them. Last time I served on jury duty, the man next to me was fuming the whole time; he's in construction and misses a day of pay and OT when he serves. I'm not sure why your husband's missed pay is any more lamentable than any other potential juror's.

Frankly, it was your choice as a family- and a wonderful one, I think highly of SAHMs in general- that put your husband in the position of having to cover for you in the event of something like jury duty. So, suck it up buttercup. You are no more inconvenienced than any of the myriad of hourly and per deim workers out there who hate losing pay due to jury duty.

 

[ccgirl]

I guess I can understand single, SAHM's without backup care. But I am very confused why the spouse can't take a day off to take care of their children when the SAHM has jury duty? Not interested in the, "they do not get paid" excuse. MANY people called to jury duty (myself included unless I have vacation time to use) do not get paid. Yes, it is still a financial hardship. However, it is also still a civic duty to do this.

 

[tlbwriter]

Well, I think there's a difference between "I can't come to work today because I was called for jury duty" and "I can't come to work today because my wife was called for jury duty." Both can be unpaid, but I think the worker who was actually called for jury duty has legal protections that the spouse does not.

 

[Michelle and crew]

Well, I think there's a difference between "I can't come to work today because I was called for jury duty" and "I can't come to work today because my wife was called for jury duty." Both can be unpaid, but I think the worker who was actually called for jury duty has legal protections that the spouse does not.

Exactly. If a spouse has no personal or vacation time they can take off, they could take unpaid leave if their boss allowed. But there isn't any reason why an employer would be expected to keep him/her employed.

 

[okeydokey]

Exactly. If a spouse has no personal or vacation time they can take off, they could take unpaid leave if their boss allowed. But there isn't any reason why an employer would be expected to keep him/her employed.

You think a boss would fire an employee if they stayed home to care for kids while their wife had a day of jury duty? Really?

 

[Michelle and crew]

Sure. Heck, a friend's husband is a manager at cvs and he was threatened with being fired if he took off more than two days when his wife gave birth. Many companies only care about their bottom line, and their legal requirements.

Do you really think large companies like walmart or even Disney care if you can't find Childcare?

 

[tlbwriter]

You think a boss would fire an employee if they stayed home to care for kids while their wife had a day of jury duty? Really?

Some would.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Well, I think there's a difference between "I can't come to work today because I was called for jury duty" and "I can't come to work today because my wife was called for jury duty." Both can be unpaid, but I think the worker who was actually called for jury duty has legal protections that the spouse does not.

But - again, with the exception of those shoppers subpoenaed - jury duty isn't a surprise. Nobody can legitimately claim not knowing until the day of jury that either they need to be there or that they need to watch their kids (or make arrangements for someone to watch their kids). Called jurors get reasonable notice.

 

[momx2]

Seriously? You just asked someone sitting in the hall outside the courtroom to watch your 5 week old?? I'm blown away! More power to you, but I could not have done that.

I don't think that's what she meant. She probably either brought someone with her to watch the child or has friends who work in the court system who watched the baby while she went to her case. Not some total stranger....wow, I don't know how you got that from the pp comment. I work in the court system and have had to go get my child from daycare because court ran late and had a secretary or social worker I knew to hold her while I did a few more cases.

 

[Michelle and crew]

But - again, with the exception of those shoppers subpoenaed - jury duty isn't a surprise. Nobody can legitimately claim not knowing until the day of jury that either they need to be there or that they need to watch their kids (or make arrangements for someone to watch their kids). Called jurors get reasonable notice.

Do you even have children to have a clue about what is involved? Probably not.

Childcare, even good childcare can fall through. As can backups. We have 3 to 4 days here for county court. Luckily I have family, etc. But there was that occasion when I was to testify that I had to take mine due to the 3 possibilities, sitter, mom and husband all being unavailable.

 

[ccgirl]

Do you even have children to have a clue about what is involved? Probably not.Childcare, even good childcare can fall through. As can backups. We have 3 to 4 days here for county court. Luckily I have family, etc. But there was that occasion when I was to testify that I had to take mine due to the 3 possibilities, sitter, mom and husband all being unavailable.

Bolding mine. No reason to get snippy with someone who is taking an opposing view of you. What business is it of yours if she has children or not? She is giving her opinion.

 

[tlbwriter]

But - again, with the exception of those shoppers subpoenaed - jury duty isn't a surprise. Nobody can legitimately claim not knowing until the day of jury that either they need to be there or that they need to watch their kids (or make arrangements for someone to watch their kids). Called jurors get reasonable notice.

I agree with that. I was specifically responding to someone who said the husband of a SAHM called for jury duty would be no worse off than a man called for jury duty - that they would lose the same amount of pay, so neither has a better excuse than the other. And I do not believe that's true, because the man called for jury duty probably has a legal right to time off (even if unpaid) and the husband of the SAHM does not. That's all.

 

[sam_gordon]

But - again, with the exception of those shoppers subpoenaed - jury duty isn't a surprise. Nobody can legitimately claim not knowing until the day of jury that either they need to be there or that they need to watch their kids (or make arrangements for someone to watch their kids). Called jurors get reasonable notice.

For jury duty around here, all you know is you MIGHT get called during the month you're "on". Each night you call a recording that tells you whether to report the next day. So if you consider ~14 hours "reasonable" notice, OK.

 

[Michelle and crew]

Bolding mine. No reason to get snippy with someone who is taking an opposing view of you. What business is it of yours if she has children or not? She is giving her opinion.

An opinion based on nothing isn't much of one. It would be like me giving an opinion regarding working in the IT field. Not worth anything.

So, not being snippy. Just making a WAG that I'd bet about anything is accurate.

 

[melancholywings]

I don't buy all the 'I don't have back up child care' arguments on this post. it's weaksauce. If you're in the city back up child care is easy. Many daycares will do a daily drop off. There are also websites with vetted sitters, nannies, etc. It's an inconvience, and you'd have to call around - but it's not a valid excuse unless it puts the family through a financial hardship.

I think it's very entitled to expect another person - possibly another SAHM, or maybe a single working mom, to take your place because it's an inconvience to you.