agree to disagree? gray areas everywhere

[lonegirl]

OP here again.

Only post I want to address: the insinuation that SAHMs are a regression for women and we are "playing the mama card when convenient".

I am a mom. A college educated, left career by choice, mom. Choosing to serve my family right now is not regressing feminism. In our home, my DH teaches the children that my "work" at home is just as important as his work that makes the money. Trust me, there are days that I miss my career, because it was so much easier than this mom-gig 24/7!!!!!

I guess it is "pulling the mama card" just as much as anyone else pulls "the teacher card" or "the doctor card" or "the banker card".

The only reason this was titled "SAHM called to fed. ...." was because the federal government has an option for "unemployed and sole caretaker of child(ren) under ten" which leads me to believe that they recognize SAHM as a valid "card" to pull.

My children are not snowflakes. They are the only ones on the block out pulling weeds, earning allowances, working in soup kitchens, and wiping my baseboards. They are resilient and well-adjusted. My 1 year old infant, not so much right now. Give me one or two years, a different story.

 

[jodifla]

Sure, for one day I could probably find someone. But now imagine that I get picked for a jury. Oh, and because it's a federal jury, its a case that is going to last a week. Now what? Some people have situations where is truly is a problem to find childcare.

I did get called to Jury Duty at one point. I was a stay at home mom with a homeschooled child, a nursing infant and self employed husband. So the day I had to go: my child did not receive her education, my infant did not receive adequate nutrition (he would NOT take a bottle despite all our efforts), my husband had to lose a days pay (his business was essentially 'closed' that day because he couldn't work with the two children in his care). Oh, and I was extremely uncomfortable because I was engorged and had no place to pump. I explained my situation to the judge, when I finally saw her after lunch, and she excuse me, but told me that the 'other judge' looking for jurors that day would NOT have excused me.



Not everyone had childcare options, not everyone works in a job where jury duty is paid time off (I work part time now, they don't pay part-time employees for jury duty even though I am in a union job), self employed people would not get paid for jury duty PLUS their business would essentially be closed that day if like my DH they are a sole proprietor, some people care for elderly relatives who can't be left alone or for who finding another caregiver would be difficult.

Oh, and that time I went and got excused, the court did "pay" me since I wasn't eligible for pay from an employer - $20 for the day. Big Whoop. Parking cost me more than $5 that day and lunch cost another $5 (we weren't allowed to leave the building).

Sorry, but these are all just inconveniences that don't outweigh the American justice system. It's one of the few requirements that are made of us as U.S. citizens. (And why didn't you just pump in the bathroom during the lunch break??)

It would be nice if they could excuse SAHMs, and they'd likely be able to if so many people didn't try to get out of doing their duty.

 

[jodifla]

OP here again.

Only post I want to address: the insinuation that SAHMs are a regression for women and we are "playing the mama card when convenient".

I am a mom. A college educated, left career by choice, mom. Choosing to serve my family right now is not regressing feminism. In our home, my DH teaches the children that my "work" at home is just as important as his work that makes the money. Trust me, there are days that I miss my career, because it was so much easier than this mom-gig 24/7!!!!!

I guess it is "pulling the mama card" just as much as anyone else pulls "the teacher card" or "the doctor card" or "the banker card".

My children are not snowflakes. They are the only ones on the block out pulling weeds, earning allowances, working in soup kitchens, and wiping my baseboards. They are resilient and well-adjusted. My 1 year old infant, not so much right now. Give me one or two years, a different story.

This is all great. Still doesn't excuse you from your duty to show up for jury duty.

 

[tlbwriter]

They get the names from the census.

That may be true somewhere, but it wouldn't be a very good way to do it, since the census isn't updated frequently. Potential jurors are commonly picked from voter registration, tax records, drivers license records, etc.

 

[scrapquitler]

No everyone has child care options they just may not be ones the person "likes"

Loosing pay, being inconvenienced these are the prices we pay to have a government like ours, to live in a free country, to have a justice system. It truly saddens me that I see so many on here not getting this and are more worried about their snowflakes or loosing pay than doing their civic duty to preserve these freedoms.

Truly sad.

A snowflake? A nursing infant who will NOT take a bottle is a snowflake? A business owner that has to SHUT DOWN his business to serve, therefore sacraficing the families ONLY income is selfish?

See, you are wrong. I would LOVE to be on a jury, but sometimes, timing is bad. I've actually recently showed up to volunteer to serve (and I am now on an 'I will volunteer to serve, call me when you need extra bodies in the pool' list), but when I was able, not at a mandated time that was truly a problem with my life situation.

Sorry, I am more patriotic than most, I take the civic duty of jury duty seriously, but MY FAMILY COMES FIRST. My child's health, my other child's education, a roof over our head and food on the table, the stability of my husband's business. Those are higher priority. Jury duty can be served at another time down the road when my children are older, it doesn't have to be done while I have young children at home who need me.

 

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

I've only breezed thru this thread, but wanted to chime in and say that I WITNESSED a mother being charged with contempt for bringing her 2 kids to court with her!! ($500 charge LOL!!) ...

Federal courts have so much less understanding than county. Bite the bullet, have your dh take the day off, bring your kids' birth certificates and a copy of a recent tax return showing that you make $0.

 

[Michelle and crew]

A snowflake? A nursing infant who will NOT take a bottle is a snowflake? A business owner that has to SHUT DOWN his business to serve, therefore sacraficing the families ONLY income is selfish?

See, you are wrong. I would LOVE to be on a jury, but sometimes, timing is bad. I've actually recently showed up to volunteer to serve (and I am now on an 'I will volunteer to serve, call me when you need extra bodies in the pool' list), but when I was able, not at a mandated time that was truly a problem with my life situation.

Sorry, I am more patriotic than most, I take the civic duty of jury duty seriously, but MY FAMILY COMES FIRST. My child's health, my other child's education, a roof over our head and food on the table, the stability of my husband's business. Those are higher priority. Jury duty can be served at another time down the road when my children are older, it doesn't have to be done while I have young children at home who need me.

lol, that's ok...I just found out my dog is a snowflake. I wouldn't have left my babies and toddlers with strangers, just like I don't leave my dog with strangers.

You all are too funny. It reminds me of my black and white 13 year old. The world is far more grey than he enjoys. The idea that there are seasons when some options work better than another is beyond those that only choose to see black and white.

 

[Hannathy]

See, you are wrong. I would LOVE to be on a jury, but sometimes, timing is bad. I've actually recently showed up to volunteer to serve (and I am now on an 'I will volunteer to serve, call me when you need extra bodies in the pool' list), but when I was able, not at a mandated time that was truly a problem with my life situation.

Sorry, I am more patriotic than most, I take the civic duty of jury duty seriously, but MY FAMILY COMES FIRST. My child's health, my other child's education, a roof over our head and food on the table, the stability of my husband's business. Those are higher priority. Jury duty can be served at another time down the road when my children are older, it doesn't have to be done while I have young children at home who need me.

see and I think you are wrong. Duty to your country is a priority.

I guess the patriots should have said we will fight these British when it is convenient. Just wait till the crops are in. I finished filling this order, my kids are grown.

Civic duty isn't something that can be scheduled when convenient and it shouldn't be.

 

[jodifla]

A snowflake? A nursing infant who will NOT take a bottle is a snowflake? A business owner that has to SHUT DOWN his business to serve, therefore sacraficing the families ONLY income is selfish?

See, you are wrong. I would LOVE to be on a jury, but sometimes, timing is bad. I've actually recently showed up to volunteer to serve (and I am now on an 'I will volunteer to serve, call me when you need extra bodies in the pool' list), but when I was able, not at a mandated time that was truly a problem with my life situation.

Sorry, I am more patriotic than most, I take the civic duty of jury duty seriously, but MY FAMILY COMES FIRST. My child's health, my other child's education, a roof over our head and food on the table, the stability of my husband's business. Those are higher priority. Jury duty can be served at another time down the road when my children are older, it doesn't have to be done while I have young children at home who need me.

Don't understand how you can say you are "more patriotic than most" but you won't make it a priority to serve your country when called, which is the very definition of being patriotic.

 

[talulabelle]

I seem to remember a story about a breastfeeding mother who was not excused from jury duty. Unfortunately she was also a lawyer at home on maternity leave, or something like that.

There was big hoopla about it and she eventually got off. The court said it had made a "clerical error" or something. Ha ha ha.

Try and find the story because I think there was some law that she referred to in her fight.

Maggie

I totally do't get this. I was a breastfeeding mother and HAD to go back to work full time when my baby was 10 weeks old. I used a pump. Why couldn't this mom do the same?

 

[herdtoDisney]

I pumped too (for the kids I worked outside the home with) but the law required my employer to allow that. Apparently, this law does not apply in court??? Women are being told that they are not allowed to pump during the court day, nor have their infant brought to nurse. What is she supposed to do?

 

[angwill]

No everyone has child care options they just may not be ones the person "likes"

Loosing pay, being inconvenienced these are the prices we pay to have a government like ours, to live in a free country, to have a justice system. It truly saddens me that I see so many on here not getting this and are more worried about their snowflakes or loosing pay than doing their civic duty to preserve these freedoms.

Truly sad.

It sounds to me like you need to go down to your local court house every day and volunteer to do your civic duty on the jury to preserve your freedoms then. They need people like you who think they are so much better than the rest of the people in America.

 

[NMW]

I get called for jury duty ALL the time. It's insane! I am a stay at home mom and have always been excused because of it. I have never been called for federal.

My mom last year was called for federal. Had to be there 2 days-got excused from both trials based on her answers to questions by the attorneys.

 

[scrapquitler]

Sorry, but these are all just inconveniences that don't outweigh the American justice system. It's one of the few requirements that are made of us as U.S. citizens. (And why didn't you just pump in the bathroom during the lunch break??)

There was actually no outlet in the bathroom to operate my pump. I had no luck with a battery operated or hand pump (I tried a number of them). And pumping wouldn't have helped my child to eat. He wouldn't take a bottle. Besides that, by the time it was lunchtime and I was allowed to go to the bathroom, I had two HUGE wet spots on my shirt, it was extremely embarassing.

 

[scrapquitler]

see and I think you are wrong. Duty to your country is a priority.

I guess the patriots should have said we will fight these British when it is convenient. Just wait till the crops are in. I finished filling this order, my kids are grown.

Civic duty isn't something that can be scheduled when convenient and it shouldn't be.

Lets look at it this way: As an American Woman I have an average life expectancy of about 80 years. Once I turn 18, I'm eligible for Jury Duty. That leaves me approximately 62 years of being eligible to serve on a jury (even though in my state you are expempt once your turn 70, so lets call it 52 years of eligiblity). Of those 52 years of eligibility there were/are approximately 4 years where it is a HUGE inconvenience for me to do it. I'd just like to be excuse for those couple of years. It's not THAT much of a big deal, that still leaves 48 years of me be willing to go. 48 years of willingness isn't enough?

As I stated before, I am currently on CT's "I am willing to serve at anytime, call me if you need me list", because these days I CAN do it. Just a couple of years where it was a huge hassle (and by the way I DID show up those 3-4 times that I was called during those years where my serving was a huge problem, and only once did I ever even GET to the voir dire part). That's not good enough?

 

[pintamino]

see and I think you are wrong. Duty to your country is a priority.

I guess the patriots should have said we will fight these British when it is convenient. Just wait till the crops are in. I finished filling this order, my kids are grown.

Civic duty isn't something that can be scheduled when convenient and it shouldn't be.

It’s our great privilege to live in a country where we have choices, where we have the right to trial, where we can have as many children as we want. In exchange for that, yes, sometimes a person may be inconvenienced. Taxes sure aren’t convenient, but we can’t just not pay them because we think “our situation” excludes us from it – and that excuse shouldn’t fly any more in a jury pool than it should with the IRS.

If anybody is so opposed to fulfilling civic duties here in the United States, there are plenty of other countries in the world. But there, health care may be even more painfully slow (or may not exist at all), or your job may be chosen for you or controlled by your social class, or having two or three children to say home with wouldn’t be an issue because the government would tell you exactly how many you can have.

 

[ccgirl]

It is inconvenient for everyone. While I work full time outside of the home, jury duty would only be paid if I used my vacation time. Some vacation that is. If I did not have any vacation time it would be unpaid. If I used the last of my vacation time and already had a vacation planned for later in the year; that would be unpaid. In addition, if I do not pick up my child after 8 hours at daycare I am charged $10 for every 15 minutes I am late. If I do not pick up my daughter from school at 2:15 I am charged $11 for aftercare and still have to find someone to pick her up from aftercare. Bottom line, nobody is more special than anybody else. Everyone has their excuses. God forbid, you were very sick and injured and were in the hospital for a week; what would happen then? I know...I know...it's different; right? I am amazed at the amount of people that have entitlement issues lately. I don't care what your job is; it should not be an excuse not to serve.

 

[Michelle and crew]

Oh please. Well I'm glad you are happy with every rule, regulation, action and law in this great nation. Frankly, it just sounds as though you are nothing but a koolaid drinker. And those were not the kind of people who made this country what it is. Challenging and adapting are vital to growth.

 

[herdtoDisney]

. God forbid, you were very sick and injured and were in the hospital for a week; what would happen then? I know...I know...it's different; right? .

It is different, because in that case, the SAHM's (or SAHD) spouse could use FMLA to get time off work to care for the family. However, no such act exists for jury duty-maybe it should.

 

[disykat]

This thread is amazing me. Yes, it is inconvenient for everyone. However, it doesn't cause everyone a huge financial loss. It doesn't leave everyone with no where to leave their children.

While, after living in one place for a while, most people have formed enough connections to find someone who will watch their children, that is not something that happens immediately. I can easily imagine having everyone you know working and being unable to find a daycare who will take them. Should parents just leave them unattended?

How dare you choose taking care of your kids over your civic duty. Leave them in the car!