Age difference in a relationship..

[gracie1]

Does anyone here have experience in age difference in a relationship?

I have always date older than myself by about 15 years. But just wondering if anyone has been in this type of relationship and has it been successful? Do people think differently because of the age difference?Just different things I wonder about.

For the record...in case it matters I am almost 30.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My DH is younger than me. (only by 1yr and 360 days) I am 44 and he is 42.

 

[Hercules10]

My wife was 5 years older then me.

One gal I saw briefly was 20 years younger but acted much more mature for her age.

It ain't the years...it's the mileage.

 

[gracie1]

The years don't really bother me...I just wonder what people think that are in that kind of relationship as well. And how do people look at it from the outside?? I know there can be bumps along the way...but we will see what happens!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Interesting, I've always liked people within a few years of myself. I always wondered how could I ever explain my love of hair bands and all things 1980s to someone who didn't do it too. I mean a guy much older than me might try to argue about which Van Halen sounds better or make me listen to Led Zeppelin over & over and over and tell me grunge ruined rock Seriously though, I happen to like the common threads with people my age but I guess I can see the allure of 2 completely different points of view, it must never get boring.

To each their own. I am positive it works out for lots of people. I would imagine you'll be fine as long as you find someone who enjoys the differences as much as you do.

 

[Robinrs]

It always depends on the ages involved and the intentions (father figure, trophy, etc). I think the older you are the less it matters. I have NEVER dated a man older than myself, but I've always looked younger so I've fooled MANY people.

My current BF is 9 years younger than myself. We look about the same age and at our ages, it really doesn't matter.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

A friend of mine, who recently turned 32, has a wife who is 20. They married when she was 18 and he was 29.

We generally get along with her, but sometimes she can seem really immature in comparison to our other acquaintances. For instance, she doesn't seem to quite get the idea that although she intends her flirting with his guy friends to be harmless "teenage" fun, well....they're almost a decade older than her and engaged/married/been living in sin forever. Plus, she can't drink when we go out to bars. It's kinda silly.

 

[Octoberbride03]

DH is older by 13.5yrs. We dated long distance after hooking up on the internet via Yahoo messenger and will be married 6yrs come Oct. No signs of falling off the rails here any year soon.

 

[minkydog]

DH & I are close in age, but his sister has been married twice to men 22-15 years older than her. The first marriage lasted about 20 years before she divorced him due to his infidelity. The second marriage has been going strong for the last 6 years.

 

[Octoberbride03]

A friend of mine, who recently turned 32, has a wife who is 20. They married when she was 18 and he was 29.

We generally get along with her, but sometimes she can seem really immature in comparison to our other acquaintances. For instance, she doesn't seem to quite get the idea that although she intends her flirting with his guy friends to be harmless "teenage" fun, well....they're almost a decade older than her and engaged/married/been living in sin forever. Plus, she can't drink when we go out to bars. It's kinda silly.

I wouldn't have done it if I were him. When my Dh and I just started chatting on Yahoo, i was what? 27-28ish? We married when i was 30 so yeah he's a bunch older but we were both well out of any teenage type behaviors.

 

[Tink888]

My DH is 12 years older than me. We've been married 16 years (mostly happy) and have two kids together. Met when he was divorced and I have one step-daughter. He's young at heart and I'm an old soul. He's the best husband and father I could ever ask for and my best friend.

He was the first person I ever dated that was that much older than me. I don't have issues with my dad. In the beginning, my parents were a little concerned as were one of his friends but no one ever treated us different or gave us strange looks. My parents adore him.

The only real issues we've ever had are starting to occur now. He's in his early 50's. You can see the age more in him now than in me and he is also starting to develop some health problems - high blood pressure (but you can have health issues in any relationship). I worry about him dying before me (it's irrational, you never know what tomorrow will bring but I think about it just the same). He's starting to get more set in his ways and I'm more open to change. I've also noticed that once we had kids and people get together as couples, it just seems like a lot of my friends pair off with "couples" where everyone is the same age. Doesn't really bother me, I'm more a just see my friends alone type of person than a group person anyway but it's something I've noticed. Really, they're not even "issues", just observations.

I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not being with someone my own age and would do it exactly the same all over again. We talk, laugh, get along great. Everyone that knows us says what a great couple we are. If you click with a person, age is irrelevant. Every couple has some issues from time to time and the ones that come with an age difference can be worked out pretty easily.

 

[C.Ann]

My late DH was 15 years older than me.. We were married almost 28 years (together for 30 and a half years) before he passed away..

We had a great relationship - although it was odd having a stepdaughter who was only 7 years younger than me - and becoming a stepgrandma at the ripe old age of 27 - LOL.. (He had 5 children by a previous marriage and I had 3..)

His buddies tended to be jealous because he had such a young wife and used to rib him about it quite a bit.. In later years, when I was hospitalized on a few occasions for various things, he wasn't thrilled that the doctors and nurses thought I was his daughter, but we always had a good laugh over it..

I found him to be much more "stable" than men my own age and I guess that was part of the attraction.. However, I do have to admit that I never gave much thought to the fact that I would likely be a relatively young widow because of the age difference.. (I was 55 when he passed away..) Still - I wouldn't have changed a thing.. We had a wonderful life together..

 

[NMAmy]

DH is 11 years older than me. Yeah, we have some different life experiences based on age but then again, he's originally from a different country than I am, too. As someone mentioned, it does give us a lot to talk about. Our basic views and values are the same, though, and we're very compatible.

Also, we began dating when I was in my 30's and he was in his 40's so the age gap didn't seem particularly large or troublesome.

 

[gracie1]

My DH is 12 years older than me. We've been married 16 years (mostly happy) and have two kids together. Met when he was divorced and I have one step-daughter. He's young at heart and I'm an old soul. He's the best husband and father I could ever ask for and my best friend.

He was the first person I ever dated that was that much older than me. I don't have issues with my dad. In the beginning, my parents were a little concerned as were one of his friends but no one ever treated us different or gave us strange looks. My parents adore him.

The only real issues we've ever had are starting to occur now. He's in his early 50's. You can see the age more in him now than in me and he is also starting to develop some health problems - high blood pressure (but you can have health issues in any relationship). I worry about him dying before me (it's irrational, you never know what tomorrow will bring but I think about it just the same). He's starting to get more set in his ways and I'm more open to change. I've also noticed that once we had kids and people get together as couples, it just seems like a lot of my friends pair off with "couples" where everyone is the same age. Doesn't really bother me, I'm more a just see my friends alone type of person than a group person anyway but it's something I've noticed. Really, they're not even "issues", just observations.

I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not being with someone my own age and would do it exactly the same all over again. We talk, laugh, get along great. Everyone that knows us says what a great couple we are. If you click with a person, age is irrelevant. Every couple has some issues from time to time and the ones that come with an age difference can be worked out pretty easily.

Thanks for posting this! I have always went out with someone 15 years older than myself. I was just curious on the opinions of others that are in this kind of relationship. I too sometimes worry about the person dying before me....but then I look at all the people who have health issues and you never know what tomorrow will bring for you. My mom works in an er and just the other day they brought in a 21 year old that died of a heart attack while eating dinner with his family. Most of the people they bring in are under 50! It's crazy.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

If two people truly love one another, nothing else matters. But knowing that you will outlive your spouse by a decade or more (assuming no tragedy) takes a toll. My wife is only 2 years older than I, but her chronic health conditions threaten her life every day. Maybe that is why I love her so deeply - because tomorrow is far from guaranteed to us...

 

[Shmily1]

DH is 21 years older than I am. We have been married for 13 1/2 years and were together for 4 years before that. Overall, we get along better than most of our friends do!

 

[SC Minnie]

DH is exactly 14 yrs older than me. If we make it til Aug 22 we will have been married for 17 years. I don't really see the age difference in our relationship although Dh has been asked if DD was his granddaughter . He was 40 when she was born.

I had always dated guys a little older than me usually ~4 yrs but never anyone that much older. I have told him this before but if I had known he was that much older than me I would never have gone out with him in the first place. I was in my early 20's and he was in is mid 30's.

I do worry sometimes about him dying before me and being alone but tomorrow is promised to no one and he could very easily out live me.

 

[wdwfan16]

I would never marry a person that much older than I. It maybe fine now but in your waining years you will most likely be a nurse to the older and sicker person and then alone for a long time.

I know somebody who was married to an 18 year older man. He died when she was 45 and she spent the rest of her life alone. That is NOT for me. Had they been the same age she would have been alone from 63 on. Much more tolerable.

 

[Tink888]

I found him to be much more "stable" than men my own age and I guess that was part of the attraction..

YES!!!! I totally agree with this and felt the same way. DH was ready to be married, ready for kids and ready for the work that goes with being married & raising a family.

I never had to worry about him being out all night with his friends or having buddies over all the time. Seriously, one of the best things was when we had our kids. So much patience and while most of my friends were griping about their hubby's not helping out, DH was right there for the feedings, diaper changes, etc. He's always been a hands on Dad and my kids have benefited so much from that. That alone is one reason why I love the guy so darn much.

 

[tayandjensmom]

DH's father who is 60 remarried a woman who is 45 (only 4 years older them my DH). They both are very happy, been married going on 4 years now. DH's mom passed away almost 18 years ago. Father in law was alone all that time. New stepmom was in a bad marriage for many years, divorced almost 5 years when she met father in law.

Many people question the age difference. Not the family, we are happy for him. He needed someone in his life for a long time. So glad they found each other. Lisa