advise for brother

[cheermom1]

my brother's wife is a real gem - they have been together for about 7 or 8 yrs they have two kids but have only been married for 3 or 4 yrs - any way we will call her sil2 - i have to give some history so you'll know what he is going through, I know these to be facts I seen it with my own eyes and I am not the type to bad mouth someone just b/c they may not be in our family anymore (his first ex will tell you that - we (my family) are allowed to come by anytime we want and get his oldest) so here goes - sil2 took all the money bro was making for several months and just spent it on whatever causing them to loose everything their house, cars, everything except the clothes and the furniture that they weren't making payments on; I know this to be fact b/c right after she did it she confessed - ok bro was like ok fine so they moved into a duplex and tried to make the best of it - now while all this is going on sil2 sent a rummer around that she has cancer; my bro and my dh work for the same company but different locations and it got back to my dh and was like new to us so we asked her about it and she tried to play it off as something else now mind you every time sil2 and bro get into a fight she takes her self to the hospital claiming something is wrong but the drs never find anything she had this so much that she has had three exploritory surgeries - now top of all this she has told me on several occations that her father his a police officer and that they hate her and have rubbed her out of their lives but then tells mom that he is a truck driver then tells my other sil1 that her parents are the best in the world and they have a great relationship even though they stole her dd from her when she was a baby - ok now right b4 christmas my bro found a house and was able to get the loan to buy it and sil2 told him that if he bought she would leave and take the kids and he would never see them again - well bro did buy the house and told her what you want to live in a duplex with rent instead of buying for the furture? well she left - now she came back with out the kids and wants my bro to take her back now he is so afriad of her that he sleeps with a gun just in case (which I didn;t know till this christmas at moms) oh and bros oldest dd refuses to go to his house if sil2 is there b/c of how mean she is to her (i have seen that too) what can bro do? I am very worried about the kids needs to get them back here to Ark. thanks in advance I know this is long if you have any questions I might not have covered please ask this is such a weird situation...

 

[Heidict]

So, SIL2 took the kids and then shows up later without them? Where are the kids? Has he seen them or talked to them since this happened?

Her taking the kids, without his permission sounds a bit illegal to me. Especially if she is refusing to tell him where they are.

He needs to get rid of her, and pronto. He can fight for those kids. Make sure that he documents everything she does, from her financial issues, her fake illinesses and whatnot. This women is seriously disturbed and if he doesn't get her out of his life and that of those children it is only going to get worse.

 

[cheermom1]

So, SIL2 took the kids and then shows up later without them? Where are the kids? Has he seen them or talked to them since this happened?

Her taking the kids, without his permission sounds a bit illegal to me. Especially if she is refusing to tell him where they are.

He needs to get rid of her, and pronto. He can fight for those kids. Make sure that he documents everything she does, from her financial issues, her fake illinesses and whatnot. This women is seriously disturbed and if he doesn't get her out of his life and that of those children it is only going to get worse.

I know - she is all we know is that they are in TX and yes she did I don;t understand why she did that and why would someone tell three family members in the same family three different stories about your parents?
I told him the same thing and i told him to get a lawyer right away and get some kind of stay for her to stay here with the kids while this is going on other then that I don't know what else - sil2 is by far the nuttest person I have met - once she was on the porch (bro and sil2 used to live right next door to my parents) and was screamming at my niece (bros oldest dd) that she wasn't allowed to stay the night with my parents b/c she had to baby sit the next day why i don;t know b/c sil didn't go any where she was home the whole day it was bad sil2 was very nasty to her - i know that she is her step daughter but i ahve three step sons and I would never talk to them that way - she once rammed her truck into my car b/c she was mad thank goodness no one was in it.....

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't mean to be rude, but could you please make some paragraphs in your posts? It makes it hard to read.

 

[cheermom1]

I don't mean to be rude, but could you please make some paragraphs in your posts? It makes it hard to read.

sorry I will try sometimes I jsut type with out thinking lol

 

[chrisw127]

As long as there is no custody order in place saying otherwise, it's not illegal for her to take the kids out of the state, however if he feels they are possibly in danger, he can of course report it to the police. He needs to contact an atty and file the appropriate paperwork; until he does that, this is little more than a custodial parent taking her kids to visit family in another state. If your brother is filing in Arkansas, he might try calling Arkansas Legal Services to see if he can get discounted help (there are several offices, including one in Little Rock, Ft. Smith, and Texarkana; just call the one nearest to you). Generally, they offer free services where there is domestic violence or a danger to children present. I'm not sure your brother would qualify for representation, but it's worth a shot as the lawyers are all quite good and really care about their clients (I'm biased--I used to work there). They can also point him toward qualfied lawyers in your area if they can't help him.

Keep in mind your brother will have to prove all these allegations. Family law judges are used to parties in divorce cases telling the most outrageous stories, so they generally are a bit jaded. You'll need witness and you'll need to prove there are real concerns about the childrens' safety. Just being "quirky" is not grounds for calling a parent unfit. Arkansas generally presumes that the mother is the primary caretaker (even if she works outside the home) and will most often award physical custody to her. This, of course, can be rebutted with evidence to the contrary.

Good luck.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Forgive my bluntness but what is wrong with your brother?! She comes back w/out his kids and he welcomes her? Where are these kids and why doesn't he do something to get them back? Why didn't he call the police when she ran off with them? He sleeps with a gun because she is nuts, she is a horror to his dd, she returns home w/out his other kids and yet he shares his home with her?! Honestly, I think your brother needs to get it together. Make a police report and hire a lawyer. Good luck!

 

[cheermom1]

As long as there is no custody order in place saying otherwise, it's not illegal for her to take the kids out of the state, however if he feels they are possibly in danger, he can of course report it to the police. He needs to contact an atty and file the appropriate paperwork; until he does that, this is little more than a custodial parent taking her kids to visit family in another state. If your brother is filing in Arkansas, he might try calling Arkansas Legal Services to see if he can get discounted help (there are several offices, including one in Little Rock, Ft. Smith, and Texarkana; just call the one nearest to you). Generally, they offer free services where there is domestic violence or a danger to children present. I'm not sure your brother would qualify for representation, but it's worth a shot as the lawyers are all quite good and really care about their clients (I'm biased--I used to work there). They can also point him toward qualfied lawyers in your area if they can't help him.

Keep in mind your brother will have to prove all these allegations. Family law judges are used to parties in divorce cases telling the most outrageous stories, so they generally are a bit jaded. You'll need witness and you'll need to prove there are real concerns about the childrens' safety. Just being "quirky" is not grounds for calling a parent unfit. Arkansas generally presumes that the mother is the primary caretaker (even if she works outside the home) and will most often award physical custody to her. This, of course, can be rebutted with evidence to the contrary.

Good luck.

thanks i thought as much - I'm just not sure how we can prove any of this - the we have right now is just us (my bro and sil1 - me and my dh - mom and dad - sis and bil) of course that is all in the family and I can see how a judge would take that

 

[luckydog95]

I don't mean to be rude, but could you please make some paragraphs in your posts? It makes it hard to read.

Have to agree. Hard to help with the way that post was written. Just too confusing.

 

[cheermom1]

Forgive my bluntness but what is wrong with your brother?! She comes back w/out his kids and he welcomes her? Where are these kids and why doesn't he do something to get them back? Why didn't he call the police when she ran off with them? He sleeps with a gun because she is nuts, she is a horror to his dd, she returns home w/out his other kids and yet he shares his home with her?! Honestly, I think your brother needs to get it together. Make a police report and hire a lawyer. Good luck!

no he didn't take her back - sorry for the confusion - he is trying to get the right lawyer now but he is afraid he will lose b/c she is the mother - we have talked to him about a certain lawyer that did dh's divorce and she was awesome - I think he thinks he can't win - ok so the best thing to do now is file and make her come back with the kids thanks so very much I will keep on him till he does this ..

 

[chrisw127]

thanks i thought as much - I'm just not sure how we can prove any of this - the we have right now is just us (my bro and sil1 - me and my dh - mom and dad - sis and bil) of course that is all in the family and I can see how a judge would take that

Multiple witnesses all saying the same thing will help your case, even if they are all family members. Quite often, those are the only witnesses people have.

 

[Liberty Belle]

How old are the kids? I think your brother should contact a lawyer immediately.

 

[cheermom1]

How old are the kids? I think your brother should contact a lawyer immediately.

they are 6 and 5 thanks a bunch everyone I think i pretty much knew all this already I think i just needed to hear it