Advice please what do i do now???

[buzz for boys]

Some of you may remeber a few months ago I was having issues with the parents on the playground and that 1 of the parents was also a member of staff. I thought it was over after I confronted them all and they had nothing to say then they lay low until the end of term.

Cameron has asked this morning if he can come home at lunchtime as the staff member makes him feel uncomfortable and keeps asking him about how he is !! He witnessed our arguement and actually heard her say that there was nothing wrong with him and that I had made it all up for attention ! He doesnt know how to handle her now and even after he has ignored her she comes back repeatedly. Then my younger son lets me know that she has a 1 2 1 to my daughter regulaurly.
Now it may sond like as a dinner lady she is doing her job but I know her better than that and why is she trying so hard to get in with my children after she wished Cameron dead on facebook ?? I believe she is capable of anything and im not prepared to have my kids used as bait !!

Ive been into school this morning to tell them that its unacceptable that cameron feels uncomfortable at school but certaintly more so that the person doing it is a member of staff !!
i was given assurances at the end of last school year by the head that she would have nothing to do with my daughter and now im told she has open access. The head says there is nothing he can do until she actually crosses the line with one of them - I say that its too late then and they should be safe gurading my kids so that never happens.

Is there any middle ground with this ?? Or are we really back to square one where I have to move my kids to another schol?? Im so reluctant to move them as Cam is just starting to settle back into school after a lot of hard work from teachers and support staff, cams ongoing needs are adressed well at this school and Keira has just this week settled into reception class.

Any advice ???

 

[Jets fan]

Sending you a big hug as I have no words of wisdom on this one. Will ask my sisters though as they are teachers at a junior school.

Tina xx

 

[joolz1910]

I wouldn't move them to a new school. I would definitely insist that your son is not questioned about his condition. This dinner lady has no business quizzing your son about his health. As for the 121 - why would she be having such focussed time with Keira? She is surely employed to supervise and that's all she should be doing. There are very strict guidelines on contact with children. Ask to see their policies!

 

[irongirlof12]

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this al over again. I would have another word with the Head, tell him your concerns and have in mind what outcome you have in mind and express this. I wouldn't want to move my kids either just because 1 person has some issues. Let us know how you get on .

 

[wideeyes]

I am sorry I don't have any advice. I hope things work out though.

 

[T16GEM]

I'm sorry that you are going through this Louise, I think that you should insist that the person is not allowed to ask Cam about his condition, what does it have to do with the dinner lady??? As Joolz said, I think that she should just be supervising not speaking with the children at length.

 

[scojos]

iwas going to call you but my battery is dead
this all goes back to your child being SAFE at school. if he perceives he is at risk, he is not safe, every child should be safe and the safeguarding at school policy is the one you need.
following the issues, the head is either naive or stupid letting her near both c and k.
why is she on 1 to 1 with k? is she statemented? if so you can request a differebt TA
you need to- calmy speak to the head and explain your displeasure, and ask for an alternative
good luck
tx

 

[mickeyforpresident]

Hi Louise,

Explain to the Headteacher that under no circumstances is any member of staff, other than the Head and Classteacher to discuss Cam's condition with him. It is absolutely no one elses business. Explain that this to you is "overstepping the line". Explain that if this happens from this point, you consider it a breach of the school's safeguarding procedures and that you will raise it with the school's Chair of Governors and you will address it with the LEA/CSA. Explain that this dinnerlady has massively overstepped her remit in school and that you will raise a formal complaint. NO child should ever be made to feel uncomfortable in the one place where they should feel safe and loved.

If all else fails, go to OFSTED.

Hope this helps.

 

[buzz for boys]

Thanks guys x
To be honest when the kids spilled all this out this morning in car on the way to school I was shocked I actually cant believe even now that anyone would sink this low !!

I went back into school this afternoon with hubby and we both spoke calmly and honestly to the head ! He then had a conversation with Cameron where Cam pretty much said he felt uncomfortable with her and wanted to come home for lunch if he had to stay where she was !
Suddenly the head has took it very seriously and as I pointed out he has a duty of care to ALL my children but as a vulnerable pupil cam deserved more !!
He did agree but tells me he has no idea where to go next ! He said if she is not allowed access to my kids she cant do her job - I politely pointed out that was his problem not mine !!

It seems that she was comforting keira when keira was upset by another child but Ive had no answers to why she led her off the playground to talk to her by herself !
So i have given the head until end of school Fiday to come up with a solution if he hasnt Ive told him I will pull my kids out of school until he does !! I am not prepared to move them its not the right thing for ANY of them and Im hoping the threat of having their attendance rate drop dramatically will prompt him to pull his finger out !!
Like I said im in shock that this has actually happened I mean what kind of person uses the kids in arguement ???

 

[wideeyes]

So i have given the head until end of school Fiday to come up with a solution if he hasnt Ive told him I will pull my kids out of school until he does !! I am not prepared to move them its not the right thing for ANY of them and Im hoping the threat of having their attendance rate drop dramatically will prompt him to pull his finger out !!

Be carefull, you will be the one who will get the LEA on your back about non attendance and get into trouble.

 

[Sapper383]

Sorry, I'm not a huge help but I would advise that you write to the chair of govoners.....they also have a responsibility to your child.

sending you lots of hugs

 

[mandymouse]

I'm so sorry that you are going through all this again Louise. You did the right thing by going to see the Head yesterday, and I hope he comes up with a suitable solution for you all

I'm sorry that I haven't got any good advice for you, I just hope the school sort it out very soon

Hugs to you all

 

[joolz1910]

I would think again about pulling the kids out of school. I agree with Mickeyforpresident: Governors, LEA, OFSTED, in that order. The Head sounds like a bit of a wash-out. I can see that he can't deny her access to your children but she needs to receive very clear guidelines and a verbal warning about 'crossing the line'. She should not speak to Cameron about his condition and she should not be having any 121 time with Keira. The Head needs to enforce this.

 

[PJB71]

Oh Louise

I havn't got any advise really to give you as I dont know anything about school procedures, but surely, a complaint like yours should be taken really seriously, and she should be delt with

Really hope you are satisfied with the outcome on Friday and please let us know how you go on:grouphug

 

[mickeyforpresident]

Louise - i've sent you a Private Message.