Advice Please!! My child may have ADD.

[wdwmom0f3]

My son is in the second grade and he has had trouble with reading comprehension. At a parent teacher conference a month or so ago I was asked if he has trouble staying focused at home. They suggested that I fill out a survey and answer some questions about him and return it to the school. I did & today I went in for the results from the teachers test & mine, which all point to him being ADD. (not ADHD)
I was given the forms to take to his doctor.

I really don't think that he needs to be on medication, our DR. does not even treat it with med's anyway. He wants the child on a special diet. Has anyone gone through this, and do you have any advice for me?

 

[dawnbu40]

My advice is do not let them put your son on meds. My daughter was diagnosed just before she started highschool and we allowed them to put her on meds and it was a big mistake. Her grades did improve as she could focus better and suddenly hit straight A's however all the side effects she had were not worth any grades. She lost weight because she had no appetite (she was only 100 pds to begin with) and she became an insomniac. We also found the meds made her very easily agitated and changed her personality.When we decided she should go off them the doctor fought us and wouldn't help us wean her off them. So we had her quit cold turkey and she went through withdrawal headaches etc. Her story does have a happy ending as she has learned how to cope with ADD by being an ultra organized student and she is in college and made straight A's and the Dean's List her first semester!

 

[mom2meiko]

first - i have to say that just because the school test indicates that he may have add, it doesn't necessarily mean that he does. meet with the dr and see what he says before you get too upset about it. often times teachers see things differently and screen differently than the medical professionals. (not criticizing teachers - they do the screening and catch a lot that others might miss!) i'm glad that your dr doesn't jump right to medication...

for some children, medicine may be the best and only true way to help them. however, i also strongly encourage you to research all other avenues before going down the road of medicine. my nephew was diagnosed with adhd and they put him on meds immediately. (i don't know how much of this was his parents choice because they didn't want to deal with him or if it was truly the only avenue the dr thought was appropriate.) before meds, he was a happy and energetic (but not much more than any other child his age) boy who was just so thrilled with life. he was always participating in activities, loved to go anywhere, see anyone, liked to even just sit and cuddle if he had the chance. once on meds, he was a totally different kid - to the point it made me cry. he just sat around with no interest in anything at all, could hardly eat (to the point that we were concerned about his physical health) and became a complete crab to put it mildly. (after having him for 2 weeks one summer i commented on the changes to his mother who replied "at least he's out of my hair now" which leads me to believe she was more in favor of the meds than anyone else...) i also think if his parents were interested in his best interests, they would have discussed the issues with his dr's and possibly modified the prescription but of course the roboson they now had was their ideal child.

i'm not saying meds are a bad idea entirely - they can be very helpful in the correct circumstances and with the right medications/dosage. just be careful and don't rely on meds as the only solution when there may be other choices available.

good luck and please keep us posted on how you guys are doing...

 

[princessmom29]

As a teacher I would encourage you to consider all of thepotions open to you for helping your child including medication if necessary. Try behavior modification and other coping techniques first they work for a good number of kid with mild to moderate ADD, but if it becomes clear that medication is necessary please, please provide it for your child. One of my biggest heartbreaks as a teacher is the kids that could be helped, but because of a stubborn insistance by a parent that any an all medication is bad they don't get the help they need and spend their entire school career struggling. Bythe time they get to me in high school they have lost all interest in learning. I worked my way through college doing school age summer camp, and even in that less structured environment I could tell when someone on medication who truly needed it hadn't taken it. With some of the kids it was a true Jekyll and Hyde transformation. When the were medicated they were the most outgoing, plesant, fun kids to be around. When there was constant conflict withh peers ove implusive behavior, problems following directions, fights with peers ect. Some kids just truly need the medication and they are much happier and more successful on it than off.

 

[kgle]

Not every child is the same. As a child and even as an adult, I have a very hard time functioning without medication.

Definitely explore all options but don't rule medications out because you don't think they would work. You never know unless you try it.

And ADD is way overdiagnosed as it is. I would get another opinion and take him to see a specialist.

 

[mom2faith]

Hi there. First of all !!

I have a friend who has experimented with the "special" diet for her Autistic son and has had a lot of success. I do not know what all the similarities of the 2 diets are, but I believe they are pretty close. She pretty much avoids dairy and grains (much like a person with celiac does).

I have to say that your best defense is education. Get to the library and start reading everything you can, and then take from it what will work for you. As pp said, no 2 children are the same. Work new things into your routine one at a time and see what works for you and your child the best.

But, #1 piece of advice - don't think of this as a negative, it is just a challenge. Your child may have a disease no different than celiac or diabetes. It just means you have to do things differently. I say this from personal experience. (I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years and did not want to do anything about it because I did not want to be "crazy". As soon as I got over that and started dealing with it, my life changed for the better - and I am certain your child's will to!!)

Lastly, do not eliminate meds altogether. I agree this should not be the first thing you do, but be open-minded that some chemical imbalances may need meds (just as a some diabetics can control their insulin with diet, and some need medication).

Whatever you do, the fact you are asking for advice and support shows you are going to be a great mom throughout this journey and remember your DIS friends are here for you!!

Amy

 

[mjmoon]

I think when kids are outside the "box" at all the schools want to label them with some kind of disorder. Some schools get more money for kids with learning or behavior issues. Don't jump the gun, you child may just need a little extra attention in reading..

I think ADD & ADHD are way over "diagnosed" by the school districts. NOT all kids are going to be on the same page.. I'd be very reluctant to allow the school to label your son without a LOT more evidence than a questioner.

JMOFWIW

 

[kymmyk13]

My older daughter has ADD when she was younger we put in her Karate and it really seemed to help her keep focused. Now my younger daughter has ADHD and several other disorders and I am not sure I am going to survive.

 

[drinkme]

My son is in the second grade and he has had trouble with reading comprehension. At a parent teacher conference a month or so ago I was asked if he has trouble staying focused at home. They suggested that I fill out a survey and answer some questions about him and return it to the school. I did & today I went in for the results from the teachers test & mine, which all point to him being ADD. (not ADHD)
I was given the forms to take to his doctor.

I really don't think that he needs to be on medication, our DR. does not even treat it with med's anyway. He wants the child on a special diet. Has anyone gone through this, and do you have any advice for me?

Can you share what the special diet is?

 

[stacy6552]

First of all, you need to see a specialist because you're school is behind the times so to speak. There is only ADHD. There are now considered 2 types of ADHD: Hyperactive and inattentive. It sounds like they are finding inattentive. Diagnosis consists of much more than a questionare. Another possibility is that shes not paying attention because she's not comprehending, so you need to be sure you're approaching this from the right direction.

The ADD Answer is a great reource. Dietary changes that can imporve things are cutting out milk (but not all dairy), and increasing iron (which has to be tested and closly monitored because too much iron can be toxic). Eliminate food dyes, especially red and yellow.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Can you share what the special diet is?

As soon as I get it from our Dr. I will share it with you.

Thank you for all of the replies. I am still kind of down about it, but it does explain a lot. I was told to also have him tested for a learning disability, which they are going to do at the school with some kind of test. It just kind of rubbed me the wrong way at the school this morning but my DH was very calm and understanding about it, and feels like we need to do this if for nothing else, to rule it out. I became a defensive mom, but I know that it is best for him.

I just think that he is lazy and had rather be doing something else. He just hates to read, plain & simple. He is not a bad reader, just slower than they want and when they take a test on a story, it's a hit & miss as to what he can answer. In his defense, the questions are about the reason the author wrote the story, what is the genera of the story, and things like that. Not to mention, he can't bring the story home to read. They say it's more of a "true" test score because the parents can't drill the story into the kids. Whatever.

I also HATE these words per minute test that they give. They are making them speed read, so it's no wonder they can't comprehend anything. He has to be reading over 90 words a minute by the end of the year. He has really improved, but still has a way to go because he is in the 70's.

They say that he is passing but they are worried about him next year. Third grade in much harder, and I do remember that from my other two children. I absolutely dread it.

 

[missfigment]

from what i understand in my county it is a big no no for us teachers to imply your child may have ADD or recommend medication. That is the job for a physician to diagnose...not the school system!

Just out of curiousity how old is your second grader? Is he one of the youngest in the class? That could be the problem....just lack of maturity...not ADD...people are so quick to jump from..."oh there's a problem...there's a pill for that"

 

[wdwmom0f3]

from what i understand in my county it is a big no no for us teachers to imply your child may have ADD or recommend medication. That is the job for a physician to diagnose...not the school system!

Just out of curiousity how old is your second grader? Is he one of the youngest in the class? That could be the problem....just lack of maturity...not ADD...people are so quick to jump from..."oh there's a problem...there's a pill for that"

I totally agree.

No, he is one of the oldest. It was during a parent / teacher conference that we talked about the possibility. Mainly because she was saying that he has a hard time staying focused. I asked her if he showed any signs of ADD, because I would not really know what to look for. She watched him for a while and then the next 9 weeks, we took the test, or survey.

I let them know today that we would change his diet first, and go from there. One of the ladies even suggested that I give him coffee in the morning. She said that it has the opposite effect on children than it does adults. I have never heard that before.

 

[squirrel]

I would look at the child's diet before putting him on medication. I would want to rule out any allergies or intollerances.

I know that my parents friends that had a son that they told them had ADD or ADHD it turned out that when they eliminated the cream soda and other foods with the die in it he was fine. His parents refused to put him on medication. As far as I know he has been fine ever since they stopped him from having food and soda with certain die in it.

 

[dbmarie]

Our dd8's school pushed us to put her on medication for their diagnosis of ADD. However we ended up getting her tested by a Neuropsychologist and it turned out she does not have ADD. She has APD (Central Auditory Processing Disorder) which can ofter appear to someone who does not know the difference to be ADD. So I think it is very important to get testing done outside of the school.

 

[blessedby3]

My DD9 was diagonosed with ADHD last year. She has struggled with school and was having MAJOR problems with focusing. She also has a problem with reading comprehension. We had her tested between the Dr. and the school and she is on Concerta, the lowest dose. It has seemed to help her. She has no side effects from it. Still has her appetite and no headaches. We dont give it to her on the weekends, just during the week. Good luck to you- it is a long process till you get it all figured out.

 

[beavismom]

Try the diet and behavior modification first, but if that doesn't work, please keep an open mind about medication. There are tons of people out there who condemn it, but it can really make a difference for a child who is truly ADHD.

We used to be in the "no meds for our child" camp and tried other stuff for years. We finally opened our minds just a little bit and tried the meds and it truly changed our child (for the better). If I could go back and do it earlier to avoid the damage to his self esteem I would do it in a heartbeat. Also, if you try meds and you don't like the side effects then try a different one. While they all work on the same principles, the delivery methods and drug formulations are different and work differently for each child.

FWIW, I recently spoke to a neurophysicist who told me that unmedicated ADHD kids are at a greater risk of drug abuse because they try it and finally find something that makes them feel "normal". This was someone I was speaking to in a casual setting that had no idea my child was ADHD so there was no hidden agenda and what he said made a lot of sense to me.

 

[PeterPanLover06]

I would be very careful about putting your child on meds. So many children misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD, and some people are quick to just put children on medication. Look at alternative things besides medication, also.
If you do want to do that, consult different physicians and ADD/ADHD specialists. Also, consider the side effects the medication might have on your child.

 

[PolyAddict]

Here is my story-hope it helps.

DD8 was diagnosed in second grade with ADD. I was very torn about everything. She had just gone through a behavior modification therapy for seperation anxiety, the year before. I did not want to medicate her but after raising 2 DD's already, i knew something was very wrong with the way she processed things. Homework took 3 hours every night. This was after my office day job. You just couldn't get her to stop talking long enough to get the pencil to touch the paper. She was sooo all over the place..her mind was everywhere. I used to call my Mom crying every night, I couldn't understand why I couldn't get her to do her homework.

The very day she started the meds, she answer a math question in class. She had never raised her hand before-ever. She was as a completely different kid-in a good way. It trully was an amazing thing to see. She did have some side effects of weight loss but we don't give it to her on the weekend and she would pig out then.

She started the meds (1st 5mg, then 10mg, till finally focalin 15mg extended release) around Chistmas but by late April she started to lose some of the focus later in the day. We kept her on that until May 23, 2008 (last day of school). When she started 3rd grade we tried the patch. She was terribly allergic to it (skin rashes), so we went back to the Focalin. She has had a much harder time in 3rd grade (still makes the honor roll) but i just don't want to keep messing with different meds so for now we are sticking with the focalin and praying by 4th grade we can have her off of everything. Some say ADD can be a developmental delay that they grow out of. I can dream can't I?

She is very bright and one of the youngest in her class. I can't move her b/c public schools in Louisiana are the worst in the country, so she is in catholic school.

I feel for you as it is a tough experience to say the least. You just have to trust your instincs. No one knows your child better than you. Good Luck.

Wanted to add that my father in law still gives me grief about her being on meds, turns out my DH was diagnosed and they refused to put him on meds and he had a terrible time in school. He is a CPA now but he struggled throughout his elementary/grammar/high school years.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Some say ADD can be a developmental delay that they grow out of. I can dream can't I?

I haven't seen a child "out grow" ADD, but I have seen them come off meds and function like "normal" children. One key that I found was using/teaching organizational skills and breaking lessons/work into smaller segments with breaks. Teachers are often *forced* to teach to the class using the same methods for each student. Sometimes this is due to limited resources and time, other times it is that the teacher is not familiar with alternative methods (often used in special ed) to reach students that learn outside the box.

My Story (not trying to hijack):
My DS is 5 and in the first grade (not in the US). From nearly day one I have worried about him because there were things that seemed ADD (no H)...and I am a special ed teacher & tend to look for what I am familiar with. I discussed many options with his teacher. Unfortunately his school has no technological or additional learning resources and his class ranged from not even knowing how to speak English to 2 students reading at a high 1st/low 2nd gr level--US standards (DS was 2nd gr). His teacher focuses more on negative reinforcement, where DS thrives on positive (just a sticker chart encouraged him to do his work each period). The teacher also follows the High School bell schedule so each subject lesson is nearly an hour long, too long for DS to stay focused...this caused him to loose focus and be bored with the work, then coming home with more homework because it would include the day's assignments he hadn't finished. 10-20 minutes of assigned homework would then turn into 3 hours because he wouldn't want to do it, I would make him, it would turn into a fight, which would turn into punishment, which was then taking away from him being a child (playing)...and he didn't have the maturity to realize if I just do it then I can play. SO, I finally told his teacher I DON'T CARE ANYMORE...as long as he can show me he can do it in a few problems I no longer make him do twice as much (plus he is 5 doing work that in the US 6 yos do). Anyway, with maturity, me "backing off", positive reinforcement, and organizational/timing strategies he is doing much better and I don't worry about having him tested for ADD/ADHD.