Advice Please!! My child may have ADD.

[perpetualplanner]

Please - before you put him on meds or anything - get his eyesight tested. If you research into it you will find that several eye specialists say that possibly half of the children diagnosed with ADD have some sort of eyesight issue. If the problem came up because of reading comprehension this could be HUGE. Not just 20/20 vision either you'd need to have him tested to see if his eyes work together correctly - eye tracking I believe it's called and there are other things also.

The school wanted to put my neighbors daughter on all kinds of ADHD meds and when she got glasses even the teacher said she behaves like a totally different kid. She's not perfect now but her behavior change at school was remarkable.

 

[beavismom]

OK, understandable, but then that leads to a few more questions...
Why, as parents, would you not then keep the children on the meds for the weekend to give them focus on S & S?
Are the side effects that bad (Focalin) that it is better for them to be off on the weekend?
If the side effects are that bad would you consider changing meds...I know all that their "risks."
By not being on meds "full-time" is the child not considered on meds when it comes to insurance purposes?

Sorry for all the ?s. My background is in more severe disabilities, where ADD is the least of the child's problems. Really, I am not trying to start a debate or anything, just using this as a learning oppotunity. Thank.

I welcome the questions.

I don't medicate my son on the weekends or any other school break because he isn't in the same type of environment that he is at school. I can follow behind him and put up the milk and whatever else he has left out because something shiny came along. I know I will have to tell him 3 times (if I am lucky) to do everything and have learned that a written list somewhere he can't lose it is the best bet to get things done. I can deal with that because I only have 2 kids, teachers can't because they have 30. I wouldn't have him take any medicine unless he really needed it, even Tylenol, so I don't have him take it on the weekend.

We have tried several different meds and came back to Focalin because it actually had the least amount of side effects for us. We don't have any sleep or appetite issues with this medicine. It also hasn't made any changes to his personality. He suffers from the inattentive type of ADHD, so there is less need to "calm" him so this med might not work for someone who is hyper. The down side of long term use is that you have to increase the dosage and it is my hope that by taking summers off, we will let some of that "tolerance" wear off. We did try several other meds this year and they all caused serious weight loss for my son and he is thin as it is and none of them produced better results than what we already had. The meds are not a magic cure, but they can help a child to better cope with what they deal with.

I don't know how insurance regards my child. I don't think the fact that he takes his meds on a less than daily basis is accounted for in any way. Truthfully, they are probably happy since it costs them less money.


I am the first person to say try everything else first, but if your child really has ADHD don't count out meds. My stubborn refusal to look into it probably cost my child at least 2 years of self-esteem issues that he is just now recovering from. I didn't want a "label" on my child, but I ended up getting him an even worse one.

Just another side of the coin for the person who said their child was "high" on the meds. I was recently speaking to a neurophysicist and he said that unmedicated true ADHD kids are at an increased risk of drug addiction because the drugs make them feel "normal". I don't know all the answers, but I won't stop looking for them.

 

[btcrane]

I am the first person to say try everything else first, but if your child really has ADHD don't count out meds. My stubborn refusal to look into it probably cost my child at least 2 years of self-esteem issues that he is just now recovering from. I didn't want a "label" on my child, but I ended up getting him an even worse one.

Just another side of the coin for the person who said their child was "high" on the meds. I was recently speaking to a neurophysicist and he said that unmedicated true ADHD kids are at an increased risk of drug addiction because the drugs make them feel "normal". I don't know all the answers, but I won't stop looking for them.

So well put!!! I'm afraid I may have made things worse for my son, too, by stubbornly refusing to even consider meds for him. Not that meds are needed for every child, of course, but they are definitely needed for mine. No personality changes (he's on Vyvanse) but he is a skinny beanpole and that is an issue for self esteem as well. And there are a number of research studies that substantiate what the neurophysicist told you--I've spent a LOT of time reading clinical studies in efforts to help my child.

Kudos beavismom!

 

[beavismom]

So well put!!! I'm afraid I may have made things worse for my son, too, by stubbornly refusing to even consider meds for him. Not that meds are needed for every child, of course, but they are definitely needed for mine. No personality changes (he's on Vyvanse) but he is a skinny beanpole and that is an issue for self esteem as well. And there are a number of research studies that substantiate what the neurophysicist told you--I've spent a LOT of time reading clinical studies in efforts to help my child.

Kudos beavismom!

Thanks for that. I just try and share my story a little because so many people come out against meds. I still feel guilty about my decision to avoid meds for so long. It took a long time for me to "get" that my child's brain isn't going to work like mine just because I want it to. I have no doubt that behavior modification and possibly diet changes can make a difference in mild cases but I don't want someone to stay in denial for as long as I did.

I also get upset when people say that kids on meds are zombies. I doubt that anyone other than his teachers could tell whether or not my child has taken his meds. There are so many different drug formulations out there now that for those that need them, I don't think there is any need for a child to be a "zombie".

I do wish that ADHD wasn't thrown out so quickly as a possible issue because I do think it makes people take it less seriously. I think in all but the most serious cases it shouldn't even be looked at until 3rd grade to account for a slower rate of emotional maturity in boys.

 

[Tommys Mommy]

I just wanted to chime in and give a comment based on a very recent conversation with a girlfriend. Her 2nd grade son has a hard time focusing and other sleep issues and they had him take a sleep apnea test about 2 years ago. After all of that was done, one of the other possible explanations for his inability to focus & for his sleep issues was restless leg syndrome. According to my friend, this can be mis-diagnosed as ADD. Just wanted to pass this other possibility along.

Good luck.

 

[Leajess99]

Here is my story-hope it helps.

DD8 was diagnosed in second grade with ADD. I was very torn about everything. She had just gone through a behavior modification therapy for seperation anxiety, the year before. I did not want to medicate her but after raising 2 DD's already, i knew something was very wrong with the way she processed things. Homework took 3 hours every night. This was after my office day job. You just couldn't get her to stop talking long enough to get the pencil to touch the paper. She was sooo all over the place..her mind was everywhere. I used to call my Mom crying every night, I couldn't understand why I couldn't get her to do her homework.

The very day she started the meds, she answer a math question in class. She had never raised her hand before-ever. She was as a completely different kid-in a good way. It trully was an amazing thing to see. She did have some side effects of weight loss but we don't give it to her on the weekend and she would pig out then.

She started the meds (1st 5mg, then 10mg, till finally focalin 15mg extended release) around Chistmas but by late April she started to lose some of the focus later in the day. We kept her on that until May 23, 2008 (last day of school). When she started 3rd grade we tried the patch. She was terribly allergic to it (skin rashes), so we went back to the Focalin. She has had a much harder time in 3rd grade (still makes the honor roll) but i just don't want to keep messing with different meds so for now we are sticking with the focalin and praying by 4th grade we can have her off of everything. Some say ADD can be a developmental delay that they grow out of. I can dream can't I?

She is very bright and one of the youngest in her class. I can't move her b/c public schools in Louisiana are the worst in the country, so she is in catholic school.

I feel for you as it is a tough experience to say the least. You just have to trust your instincs. No one knows your child better than you. Good Luck.

Wanted to add that my father in law still gives me grief about her being on meds, turns out my DH was diagnosed and they refused to put him on meds and he had a terrible time in school. He is a CPA now but he struggled throughout his elementary/grammar/high school years.

I would honestly recommend looking into Vyvanse. My DS and DD both take it and I love it. We have been through adderal, concerta, and focaline prior to Vyvanse for my son. I really like the Vyvanse and for them there are no effects from the Vyvanse.

Your father in law should be ashamed of himself and I am so glad that your dh was able to go on to succeed. Unfortunately there are some adults that self medicate even for ADHD.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

I welcome the questions....

Thank you for your response. Edcation is a wonderful thing.

 

[kgle]

? for all those who have mentioned loved ones who take meds on a "part time" basis...is this really a good thing medically? Do Drs. recommend or "ok" taking the meds only when needed? I had a student who's aunt would steal his meds to take herself or sell and always wondered how this constant chemical change whas good for his little body. If the child is taking meds due to a chemical imbalance then I would think that it would be better for the child to be "in balance" all the time (and I don't mean for better coping for parents and teachers) rather than just M-F or when a big project is coming at work.

Yes, if I am taking some sort of stimulant my doctor said that I can take it as needed, ie: when I am in class, at work, or studying.

 

[kgle]

Hi,

Firstly, I did not read all the posts.

Secondly, I tend to have a different spin on most this so it may differ from what others have said.

I have a husband and two sons all with undiagnosed ADD/ADHD. My husband is not diagnosed because of our age. My sons because I refuse to have them labeled and I am not going to medicate them so what is the point.

I have learned over the years how to help my sons help themselves work through attention problems. I have told the school on a number of occassions how to deal with my kids but "they know better" so don't listen...not my problem. My sons are not disruptive. They daydream so tend to miss instructions or don't complete work on time in class.

Now that my oldest is in highschool and has some control over the courses he takes he is doing much better. My youngest is another story but he is getting there.

Both are learning to control their ADD which to me is more important than giving them a pill and letting them think that will solve the problem.

But, for some people, medication IS the solution to the problem. I am 25 years old and have partially learned to cope, however I know that if I had continued meds then life would have been a heck of a lot easier. Prior to stopping them, I was a straight A student, always on the honor list, but then by the end of my senior year I almost didn't graduate. I know my story doesn't matter to most, but there is nothing wrong with medication if it is done for the right reasons and it works. School is such an important time, and I would be hard pressed to say that I would be okay with my son just working out his issues instead of doing something asap to help him learn the things he needs to learn but that's just me. Its a sore subject for me, since I know personally that some people just function best if they have a medication to help them out.

 

[Leajess99]

OK, understandable, but then that leads to a few more questions...
Why, as parents, would you not then keep the children on the meds for the weekend to give them focus on S & S?
Are the side effects that bad (Focalin) that it is better for them to be off on the weekend?
If the side effects are that bad would you consider changing meds...I know all that their "risks."
By not being on meds "full-time" is the child not considered on meds when it comes to insurance purposes?

Sorry for all the ?s. My background is in more severe disabilities, where ADD is the least of the child's problems. Really, I am not trying to start a debate or anything, just using this as a learning oppotunity. Thank.

With Focaline I would recommend research of the effects because there tend to be some bad ones. I hated my son being on it and had the doctor change him to Vyvanse because of the side effects. My son was originally on Adderal and the doctors okayed him being off it on breaks (2 weeks for fall, spring and winter at the time). Our current Ped is against the breaks because they feel the child needs to keep it in their system for it to work best. I can truly tell the difference in my kids from the medicine and not being medicated and I know it is the est thing for them. We were also told that if we did not see a positive change than more than likely it was not ADD/ADHD. My kids do have ADD/ADHD and my son's testing was much more extensive than my daughter's testing was.

 

[nappingbeauty]

My son was also diagnosed with add.... i originally fought it tooth and nail.. i thought they were looking for a quick fix to his behaviour problems. I had recently gone through a divorce at the time... so he was acting out. I wish i had acted sooner. He is now on focalin xr and is thriving. I had him examined by a neuroligist at childrens hospital... i had the standard testing by a psychologist and yes... all fingers ended up pointing at add. His first medicine was the non stimulant ... he could not tolerate it at all. He could not sleep... could not eat... and cried all the time..

Talk about parental guilt. He was then switched to focalin and it is a blessing. He does well at school... progress reports now state "pleasure to have in class!" and is just so much happier. Please DO NOT outrule the possibility it may be the best thing for your child.

 

[Leajess99]

Hello Everyone,
I am going through all of this right now with my 5 yr. old DD. She is doing VERY poorly in Kindergarten. Most likely, she will be held back this year. I would rather have her held back instead of pushing her forward and getting her more confused. While all the other kids are learning to read and addition/subtraction, mine is still trying to learn her letters and the sounds of her letters. She also does not recognize all of her numbers and can only count to 20. They think that she has some auditory processing problem? They are testing her for learning disablitlies now. Yesterday was the IQ test and on Thursady, the school psychologist is going to work some more with her. Personally, I think she is very hyper and cannot concentrate. Her teacher does not see it and maybe it is just me???? We are trying to figure out if there is a problem, or if she was just too young. I beleive that she may be the youngest in her class. This is very hard for me, my oldest DD is an A&B student and LOVES school! My youngest LOVES school too and does not know that she is doing so poorly. I do not want to break her spirit!!! I seem to handle things better than my husband whom just keeps saying "she's fine, she's fine"! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
Thanks,

My youngest DD's teacher do NOT know the real child. They get the "school" child and if they ever saw her outside of school and basketball they may think twice about her. She is a good kid but very active at home. At school she is very quiet, very calm, etc. They do not believe me that she is very talkative and hyper at home.

I would definitely have her tested for Central Auditory Processing Deficit as that can mimmick some of the ADHD behaviors. Also, watch her sleeping habits (does she snore, grind her teeth, restless sleeper, etc) as a child not getting a proper amount of sleep can also show signs of ADHD and not truly have ADHD. A sleep study may be needed if you feel there is a sleeping issue and a sleep study is basically an overnight stay with lots of wires to make sure the child does not have apnea, etc. My 10 year old had this done a couple of years ago. Also what do her adnoids and tonsils look like?? Are they enlarged??

When my son was tested for CAPD it was done at Kosair Children's Hospital and what they found at the time was that he had an echo in one ear and a high frequency hearing loss in his other ear (very strange for a child that young). He des have ADHD as well though with impulsivity issues.

 

[rluey29]

My colleague who had done extensive research on ADHD in schools: "Ma'am. Your children are also more likely to become Fortune 500 members. Brilliant, creative minds if given the chance!" This is not something to fear. Just educate yourself and be your son's advocate at all times. Seek out professional advice when the books don't answer your questions, and work with his teachers to share strategies that work in and out of the classroom to help him learn to the best of his ability.

I just want to emphasize how true I believe that this is!

My DS was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in Kindergarten. As a bit of a background for you, he was in a near drowning right before he turned 2 and I really think that may have contributed to it. He was an early walker and knew his numbers and letters by 1.5 years old. After the accident, he was different. He wouldn't try to talk and had weird autistic-like tendencies. He was put into a Learning Center at 2 which helped tremendously. He was also born blind in one eye.

In Kindergarten, he was hyperactive, very fidgety, weird social interaction with peers, and had a hard time focusing. I'm very anti-medication but I gave it a try. He was put on Strattera which actually did seem to help for a little while but it seemed as though he became resistant to it. I told the Dr about it and he switched him to Focalin. The side affects were immediate; facial tics, weird movements, increased hyperactivity. I refused to let him take it another day, and put him back on Strattera. I was never happy about him being on the meds so I decided to wean him off myself to see what would happen.

As a side note, he has always been a straight A student but he does have processing problems and is very SLOW at everything he does at school and home. Horrible short-term memory as well. Talks constantly!!

He started 3rd grade with no meds. He was doing well. He still had A's and they never had any behavior problems with him at school. Then I noticed his grades start dropping. I sprang into action having conference after conference to figure out what his needs were. Turns out they had started having timed testing. I brought his ADHD diagnosis from the DR and they set up a 504 plan for him that excludes him from timed testing and will follow him from grade to grade. It also includes several other allowances that will help him to be the best student that he can be.

Regarding the above quote, let me tell you a little more about my son. He has a 100% average in math. He sits and does math in the car for fun. He can answer math questions very fast that I have to sit and think about. When his school was doing testing on him, he had scores that they said were not heard of. On the questions that she read aloud to him, he never used one piece of paper. He did every problem correctly in his head. He has a brilliant mind and I'm so excited to see what he will do in the future!

 

[stacy6552]

If you decide to try medication, be sure you do it with teachers and people exposed to your child that you trust 100%. We put our son on medication last spring and his teachers wrote off really bad behavior side effects as "normal" bad days and it wasnt until camp that we found out just how bad the side effects were.

 

[rluey29]

Also wanted to say that I have a stepdaughter who diagnosed with ADHD. Her mother has tried every med imaginable. She has night terrors and has to take sleeping pills and anti-psychotics to help counteract the effects of the ADHD meds. She never eats and looks like a skeleton. She is so zoned out during the day almost like it's not really her.

It's awful. I would never do that to my own child! But that's just my opinion...

 

[princessmom29]

Also wanted to say that I have a stepdaughter who diagnosed with ADHD. Her mother has tried every med imaginable. She has night terrors and has to take sleeping pills and anti-psychotics to help counteract the effects of the ADHD meds. She never eats and looks like a skeleton. She is so zoned out during the day almost like it's not really her.

It's awful. I would never do that to my own child! But that's just my opinion...

Sounds like she may not truly be ADHD. These are texbook reactions of a child with the wrong diagnosis!

 

[Leajess99]

Also wanted to say that I have a stepdaughter who diagnosed with ADHD. Her mother has tried every med imaginable. She has night terrors and has to take sleeping pills and anti-psychotics to help counteract the effects of the ADHD meds. She never eats and looks like a skeleton. She is so zoned out during the day almost like it's not really her.

It's awful. I would never do that to my own child! But that's just my opinion...

I would honestly recommend they have her re-evaluated as it does not sound like she truly has ADHD. Another consideration is depression.

I know a young man that was being given numerous meds for ADHD only to find out he had no need for them as he wa suffering from depression and NOT ADHD.

 

[stacy6552]

Also wanted to say that I have a stepdaughter who diagnosed with ADHD. Her mother has tried every med imaginable. She has night terrors and has to take sleeping pills and anti-psychotics to help counteract the effects of the ADHD meds. She never eats and looks like a skeleton. She is so zoned out during the day almost like it's not really her.

It's awful. I would never do that to my own child! But that's just my opinion...

ADHD or not, she should be off the medication. Our son is not medication for much lower level bad reactions.

 

[kellyg403]

I have not read all the posts, but have a 21 year old dd who was orginially diagnosed ADD, then ODD later in life. I did try meds with her, as I was not sure where to turn. I did not like the effects the meds had on her at all and there were limited options back in the 80's. Now it seems there are so many options for the kids.

I chose to educate and educate myself some more. My dd was also diagnosed with a sleep disorder at a young age. She was an insomniac, literaly. She could stay awake at age 7 for 3/4 days straight and on day 5 crash and sleep for 2 days. That cycle was the first thing I started working with when I read more and more. With the help of our dr at the time, we started with 1/2 of a benedryl in the morning and the other 1/2 at night. Within 2 weeks her sleep cycle was noticeable improved. I did not want to use any sleep aids designed for adults so that is where benedryl came in. Next we eliminated from her diet all dairy, wheat, food dyes, fast food, junk food and sugar. We, as a family, ate as bland as possible. Simply because I did not want her to see her brothers and sisters eating reg food and she differently. She already felt 'different' enough. Self esteem is/was a huge problem for my dd. Once she got labeled with ADD, I had some hard times, especially with her third grade teacher. DD was not disruptive, did have focus issues but her most important thing she had to overcome was being impulsive. If she thought it she HAD to do it, say it or whatever.

I would definitely educate myself, get a dr in my corner and work from there for the best result for your son. If I had to go through all of those years again, with all the options for medications we have now, I might have been more likely to try them. Doing the behavior and diet modification is a committment your WHOLE family must make. You can not choose which days to do it, it has to become a way of life. Your dh and you must be on the same page when dealing with it, especially in the beginning when you are starting new. After awhile, you will discover what foods or what behavior modifications work best and go from there. Its not a one size fits all direction. There will be hits and misses.

I wish you much luck, I understand not wanting to medicate but I also understand that sometimes you might have to look into it. A real dr, not the school system, would be better in answering if he has ADD or if he has another underlying condition/issue that is presenting itself in this way. Dont be afriad to ask as many questions as you can and don't be afraid to try something or be honest enough to say something is not working. Trial and error is what 14 years of my life was about! DD is 21 now, much better at controlling herself but does have other issues that have cropped over the years.

Kelly

 

[eeyoremum]

But, for some people, medication IS the solution to the problem. I am 25 years old and have partially learned to cope, however I know that if I had continued meds then life would have been a heck of a lot easier. Prior to stopping them, I was a straight A student, always on the honor list, but then by the end of my senior year I almost didn't graduate. I know my story doesn't matter to most, but there is nothing wrong with medication if it is done for the right reasons and it works. School is such an important time, and I would be hard pressed to say that I would be okay with my son just working out his issues instead of doing something asap to help him learn the things he needs to learn but that's just me. Its a sore subject for me, since I know personally that some people just function best if they have a medication to help them out.

I never said that my kids are not learning what they need to learn. Personally I don't think education happens only in school. It is my job to see my kids get a good education not the schools. It is my job to parent my children not the schools.

The OP was wanting advice. I was just telling my experience without medicating my kids.