Advice on a hurtful comment ...

[Natalie_89]

... i have read probably one of the most hurtful things ever... my son lives with his father and i see him as much as i can and alot of the time his dads awkward and dont let me see him ... somebody wrote to him on his facebook page sayin "Happy mothers day, i no your not a mother but i play both roles" its really really upset me ... it was bad enough that his dad didnt let me see him, get a card, a call or even a txt sayin happy mothers day from him.. now i just feel like the worst mothr in the world .. im sorry i needed to let of some steam its building up in me

 

[*BTMRR*]

No advice but I'm very sorry you were hurting on Mother's Day.

 

[krise]

awe. I'm sorry... I have no advise either, just keep your head up ma.

 

[disneybridetobe]

... i have read probably one of the most hurtful things ever... my son lives with his father and i see him as much as i can and alot of the time his dads awkward and dont let me see him ... somebody wrote to him on his facebook page sayin "Happy mothers day, i no your not a mother but i play both roles" its really really upset me ... it was bad enough that his dad didnt let me see him, get a card, a call or even a txt sayin happy mothers day from him.. now i just feel like the worst mothr in the world .. im sorry i needed to let of some steam its building up in me

I'm sorry, hun. *HUGS*

 

[bunny]

How horrible! Don't worry about it. My stepchildren grew up with their mother and only saw us a few times a year. Their mother told me when she remarried that she considered her new husband their father and only needed us for the child support. How lovely was that. They are grown up now and our relationship, though strained for many years, is better than ever.

You will always be your baby's mother. Noone can take that away from you. Remember there is a reason you are no longer with your baby's father. And it isn't because he is awesome. It is probably because he is a jerk. So don't be surprised when he (or his friend) acts like one.

Also you need to get a lawyer and setup a visitation schedule. There is no reason you shouldn't see your child on Mother's Day. If you get something setup legally, it won't be up to the dad to allow you.

 

[mom2minniemouse]

... i have read probably one of the most hurtful things ever... my son lives with his father and i see him as much as i can and alot of the time his dads awkward and dont let me see him ... somebody wrote to him on his facebook page sayin "Happy mothers day, i no your not a mother but i play both roles" its really really upset me ... it was bad enough that his dad didnt let me see him, get a card, a call or even a txt sayin happy mothers day from him.. now i just feel like the worst mothr in the world .. im sorry i needed to let of some steam its building up in me

I'm confused. Your 2-year-old has a Facebook page? Or is it your son's father's page? If so, why is Mother's Day even a topic? It's not until May....

 

[bumbershoot]

If so, why is Mother's Day even a topic? It's not until May....

She's in the UK; I imagine they have different hallmark holidays than we do.

 

[brockash]

I'm sorry that you saw that, but I'm taking it first as it wasn't something sent to you, but sent to your DS's father??? If that's the case, then maybe you should stop looking on his facebook page. I mean there's no sense in looking at stuff that's just going to upset you. Like I said, I'm very sorry you're hurt, but my feeling is who cares, oh well if the Dad is trying to tell everyone out there that you're not a good mom, I mean yes it sucks that he's like that, but you don't have any control over that, and can't do anything to change it. All you can do is be the best mom that you can, and that's all that matters. As far as your DS's father not having him call you ect. for Mother's Day, well first it looks like your DS is 2, so I'm not sure what all you expect, but at that age, it's not like your DS has any idea what it is ect., so the only ppl. that are going to be sending you a card from him ect. are going to be adults, and if you and DS's father are not on good terms or he's not the type of person that cares about it, than you're not going to get a call or card. Again, I'm sorry, but it's nothing personal from your DS and again nothing you can control. Like I said, just make sure you're the best mom you can be, and your DS will grow up to know who his mom is and that's all that will matter. Good luck to you, but try not to let rude ppl. get to you

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I am sorry that you were hurt by that comment, i would be too. I do however think that maybe you should not be a friend on facebook to your child's father. Something like this may happen again. It will stop some unnecessary hurt for you.
I am on great terms with my ex and we became friends on Facebook. It was going just fine until some of his friends wrote some things on there that i took offense to. It caused a riff between me and my ex and it wasn't even his fault. We both decided it would be better to not be friends on there. What i dont see won't hurt me.

 

[Nom]

I am sorry you were hurt!

I have to agree with others though, it's not a good idea to be friends with your ex on facebook. I kept my ex as a friend for quite a while, because to be honest I liked going on there and seeing what he was up too (I guess it was a hang-up on my end, I was still emotionally attached). I also got to see pics of my daughter and what they were doing in their time together. Eventually, he started writing passive aggressive things on his page just to get to me, so I finally decided it was not worth it and I was not going to play this game, so I unfriended him. I am so glad I did- I don't miss checking his page and certainly don't miss his comments- and I think it has helped me move on in a healthier way.

 

[alexandria674]

I don't know why you have your ex as a friend on facebook, maybe because this is a way for you to exchance information about your son? I think that if you are really bothered about not seeing your son a lot, you should talk to his father and try to establish communication with him in terms of your son. Maybe the person who commented on the page did not know your situation.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I am sorry. What can you even say to that.
All I can think of is she is a friend of your sons dad so they only see and hear one side of the story. All you can do is be the best mom you can to your son and your son will be proof of that not some stupid facebook comment

 

[ilandrazdsw]

I'm sorry that you saw that, but I'm taking it first as it wasn't something sent to you, but sent to your DS's father??? If that's the case, then maybe you should stop looking on his facebook page. I mean there's no sense in looking at stuff that's just going to upset you. Like I said, I'm very sorry you're hurt, but my feeling is who cares, oh well if the Dad is trying to tell everyone out there that you're not a good mom, I mean yes it sucks that he's like that, but you don't have any control over that, and can't do anything to change it. All you can do is be the best mom that you can, and that's all that matters. As far as your DS's father not having him call you ect. for Mother's Day, well first it looks like your DS is 2, so I'm not sure what all you expect, but at that age, it's not like your DS has any idea what it is ect., so the only ppl. that are going to be sending you a card from him ect. are going to be adults, and if you and DS's father are not on good terms or he's not the type of person that cares about it, than you're not going to get a call or card. Again, I'm sorry, but it's nothing personal from your DS and again nothing you can control. Like I said, just make sure you're the best mom you can be, and your DS will grow up to know who his mom is and that's all that will matter. Good luck to you, but try not to let rude ppl. get to you

Comments from other people come up all the time on the Home FB page, so OP may not have been searching X's page, but that it was shown on her's.

OP, I agree with PP, see about getting a visitation schedule, so you can see you little guy.

 

[livie1205]

I am sorry...do you not have a visitation schedule set up?I would have something in writing from the court saying when you have your son.

 

[Natalie_89]

no i am not friends with him on fb someone else showed me which i realli wish they hadnt i wood rather not know these things ... yeh mothers day is diff in the uk .. thnsk for ur comments xx

 

[DISNEYNV]

That is ashame! Issa would make sure to try your best to keep in contact with your DS. He might not live with you, but you are his mommy and will always be. I am not sure how the courts or custody works in the UK, but here if there is a visitation agreement in writing your EX should stick to it! You have the right as his mother to be a part of his life as well. I am sorry that you are hurting by your EXs comments though. I have a DSD who is fourtten and has lived with her mother five hours away from DH since she was two. I can not count on one hand the number of times she called him on Fathers Day ( or any holiday she didn't spend with us). Her mother had her calling her boyfriend Daddy at a very young age. They eventually married, and she still calls him DAd. Now, that is hurtful!!!

All you can do is control how you interact and call your son. Unfortunately you can not control what your EX does or what his friends say. Just me the best Mom you can be under the current circumstances

 

[hockeymom3]

You don't have to be friends with someone on Facebook to see their profile if they have it set so anybody can see it.

Not looking at an ex's page? easier said than done.

So sorry you didn't have your little man for Mother's Day and saw the rude comment!! Just know that your ex's friends have no idea what kind of person you are - and will always take his side. Just as your friends should take yours!

 

[sanibelsettler]

I don't think it is rude. I am sorry you saw it, though. As a child, I would oftentimes give my mom a gift for father's day, as well as mother's day. She played both roles. I am sure that is how his friend sees him. Maybe you could look at it that way.

I hope you get to see your son more.