ADVICE NEEDED: Wheelchair, parents and pride

[latexscooter]

Sorry, this is going to be long but I think the full story is important.

My father will be joining our family of three (DD11, DH40 and me) at WDW for the first time in June for a 9 day visit. Although our immediate family goes every year, my father has not been since 1986.

Dad is 65, was going to have a knee replacement until they discovered he has Leukemia and then it was a no-go so he gets pained from too much walking. The Leukemia is managed but he does get tired as well.

He is a man of pride and does not like anyone to know he is not well. And although he is able to manage his day-to-day life independently without others knowing his situation, it does get hard. As an example, on Christmas Eve he visited us and wanted to walk the neighborhood to look at the lights and luminaries. About three blocks from the house he became very tired and we had to run back to the house and get the car and pick him up and then drove around looking at the lights. We had no problem doing this and it was just as enjoyable. But I could tell he felt bad that he couldn't just walk the neighborhood like he'd done in the past.

So, thinking of the walking, our recent experiences, and wanting to have the best time possible I suggested a scooter for our visit and you would have thought I shot him with the way he reacted. I tried to explain the walking but he wouldn't have it. I did get him to agree to a push wheelchair with the idea that we use it like a stroller and just park it periodically and then he goes through the normal queue and meanders as he is able. My question is should we rent one off-site or should we rent through Disney daily? I'm not sure how well he's going to like this once we get there and I want to be both considerate of his feelings but realistic of what he is capable of.

Any recommendations, testimonials are appreciated. This is new to me and I want to make sure he has the best possible experience.

 

[Terp Dad]

First off I can completely relate to your situation. I had the exact same experience with my father in 2012. It took much cajoling and pressure from his wife as well as I until he finally relented. I think what pushed him over the edge and accepting it was the combination of arguments we made:

1 - Do you want to spend thousands of dollars on Disney only to have to go back to your room every day early because you are exhausted?

2 - This is your wife's vacation too, does she have to be saddled with pushing you around in a wheelchair because you won't rent the ECV? (something he could easily afford)

3 - The facts. You are in the park 8-12 hours a day. Can you walk that far? Do you have the stamina to be on your feet for the entire day? In the end are you going to have a better time exhausted and cranky because of your pride?

4 - Guilt. I reminded him that his grand kids were on this vacation too. The trip is for the kids not him. So lets make this as enjoyable for the kids and give them the memories of all that you did with them and not that you were a pain in the neck and spent the whole trip in the hotel room.

In the end he completely agreed that it was the right decision. He was able to spend more time with us and enjoy himself and not worried about being in pain and fatigue. I think there was also a lot of bonding with his peers as they all had scooters too. Almost seemed like they had a little clique and we should get them matching jackets. And the selfish side for the rest of us that little basket was very handy!

From our own experience we rented the scooter each day at the park and there were plenty extra. However, we were there at the slowest time of the year so I would not say that level of availability should be expected in June. You can rent them from outside companies and have them delivered and picked up at your hotel if you are staying onsite. The transportation system is geared up to deal with scooters but you may have to wait for another bus if the one you want is full. If you are staying offsite you will be dependent on Disney having them available at the park or need to being one with you each day.

I'm happy to relay more details on our experience if you need additional info.

Good luck! And if your dad is still worried about his pride. My dad is a combat wounded (3X) Marine and he did it without his pride being mortally wounded.

 

[limabeanmom2003]

I too understand your situation. Back in 2006, my family went to WDW with my dad who had mobility issues. His issues had become worse since our last trip and he had a lot of difficulty walking the park. He only spent a few hours in the park and did not enjoy the day. When we suggested renting an ECV, he refused out of pride. But after seeing so many others using them, he thought twice about it on our trip the following year. He rented one for the week and got to spend the entire day in the park. He as so glad he used the ECV, and so was the rest of the family. My dad had a massive heart attack and died a few years ago. The ECV allowed him to make wonderful memories at disney with us. Without the ECV he would not have been able to make those memories with his grandchildren. He would have spent most of the trip in the hotel room because he couldn't walk the parks.

 

[bidnow5]

Not one person I know that uses a scooter wanted to. I sure didn't and I fought it but one day when I got to a point I had trouble getting to the next bench to sit. I gave in I said I would only rent one for 1 day well after about an hour I said I would never do Disney without a scooter again and it wasn't for me but my family I was slowing everyone down ruining their vacation on the scooter we got three times as much done and I wasn't up half the night in pain. Renting a scooter made my family's vacation a whole lot better

 

[lanejudy]

First, I would go with an off-site vendor. That way, the chair will be available for use to/from the buses and your resort room -- which can be a hike in and of itself. There is a list of off-site vendors, both featured and non-featured, in the disABILITIES FAQ sticky near the top of this forum.

Second, I would continue to encourage him to consider an ECV "for his own independence" rather than having to rely on others to push him.

If he continues to refuse the ECV, at least get the wheelchair rental. He may change his mind once you are there, and most of the off-site vendors will do an exchange even mid-day.

Enjoy your vacation!

 

[Terp Dad]

Not one person I know that uses a scooter wanted to. I sure didn't and I fought it but one day when I got to a point I had trouble getting to the next bench to sit. I gave in I said I would only rent one for 1 day well after about an hour I said I would never do Disney without a scooter again and it wasn't for me but my family I was slowing everyone down ruining their vacation on the scooter we got three times as much done and I wasn't up half the night in pain. Renting a scooter made my family's vacation a whole lot better

Amen Glen!

I fought a cane for many years before I gave in at 47. It can be hard accepting that we need help sometimes even from ourselves.

 

[pbrim]

If he will agree to a contingency wheelchair, you might try pushing the idea of a contingency ECV instead. He has the same options of parking it while he walks around. (It can be parked in any stroller parking or out of the way place, just take the key). Plus it gives him more control and independance, and spares his family the burden of pushing him (the parks are hillier than they look sometimes.)

I think that once he sees how much it improves the trip for him and for the family, he will be more reconciled.

 

[Beesma]

I totally understand the whole pride issue. Like your father, I will eventually have a knee replacement (and I'm only 55) and the past few years, I've just dealt with the pain (in addition to getting relief from acupuncture ). But, I now have a foot issue that will require surgery a couple days after we get back from Disneyland next month, so my daughter convinced me to rent an ECV while we're there. Once I got past the pride and was able to admit that it will make our trip much, much more enjoyable, I started seeing the positives. I won't be exhausted and grumpy halfway through each day, I'll be able to stay longer, we'll both have more fun, we'll have a basket for our things (DD loves that!), etc.

I'm renting from an outside company and they're delivering the ECV to my hotel and picking it up. I anticipate it'll all be very easy. Hopefully your father will understand that this is about everyone having a good time and if people are having to push him around or he's in more pain than he has to be, it'll diminish the enjoyment for all of you!

Have a wonderful trip!

 

[rigs32]

Did you bring up the winded after three blocks experience? If not, you must. Explain the amount of walking in both time and distance. Show him the map of EPCOT that shows world showcase is, what, a mile?

You also need to realize that you or your SO is going to be stuck pushing him all day every day. That's not much of a vacation.

If I were you, and experienced what you have in the past, I would tell dad he'd be renting an ECV for the length of stay in order to join us. If it turned out he was good to go without it for a few hours a day, fine. But there is no way he'll be able to keep up. The money wasted on the trip will be a heck of a lot more than the cost of the ECV.

 

[ttintagel]

Whether he goes with a wheelchair or scooter, I think you definitely want to go with an outside vendor. Getting around inside the parks is only a small part of a WDW vacation; there's still a lot of distance to cover once you get outside the gates.

 

[Figmificent]

I'm 30. I did my first disney trip in a scooter at 28. I get looks, comments and I no longer care. I attempted my trip at 29 without the scooter and made my husband and sons life miserable. Finally relented and rented one. I live a normal day to day life but the combo of heat, humidity, walking, standing in one spot, etc aggravate my neurological and cardiac issues. When lines are short and I'm feeling good I park the ECV and walk. So just know that's and option too. And he sure won't be the only one or the youngest adult in one either.

 

[Betty Rohrer]

I would go with the offsite rental of an ECV that way dad will be in control of himself and not dependent on someone to push him. tell him are going to rent for first day to see how it goes, bet after he tries it he will be happy in that he can keep up. he can park and walk the lines if he wants. he will not be the only one in the park on an ECV

 

[latexscooter]

Thank you everyone for the great feedback! I was planning on renting from an outside vendor but maybe if I can get him into the parks and rent one there he'll see how wise it is and then we can rent one from longer.

Does anyone have experience with ordering a scooter/wheelchair from an outside vendor one or two days into the trip? Is that even possible?

Also, what companies do you recommend. I've heard good and bad things on many of them and just am curious what you think.

 

[Chuck S]

My mother had 3 hip surgeries on the same hip. She did fine around town, but the parks were just too much for her. She used a manual wheelchair in the parks. She was able to really enjoy the parks pain free using the wheelchair and we didn't have to end our day after only a couple of hours in the parks.

If you father is stubborn, let him try a day without using a scooter or wheelchair...he'll probably welcome one the next day.