Advice needed/Vent: What would you do!(long)

[Wishing on a star]

My advice? Don't go over there, don't call, let them all sink or swim on their own. Oh, and get yourself some counseling, too. It might help with the pain.

ITA...

You mentioned that this kind of controlling behaviour has gone on forever. And this thing with your oldest son does sound like a real psychosis on your Mother's part.

I highly recommend some counseling for you to be able to sort thru all of it.

I know it hurts!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Plain and simple you are being punished by your mother. This is how she has chosen to get to you because it WORKS!

Acceptance of reality is the hardest thing you can do for yourself and your family. However, you are suffering so in turn your family is suffering.

Bottom line, hold you head high and teach your children how to handle this crisis in a healthy way by your actions. If you need counseling, meds, and putting your foot down.....find the way to do it.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I would wait and see if they really move to Florida. If they do, the problem half solves itself. Either your son moves with them, or he tries to come back to you--at which point you make stringent rules about if he lives with you again (if he's not in college he can pay x amount of rent; curfew is x a.m. etc.). If he won't accept the rules, he can find a roommate or figure out what he's going to do next. Do NOT cave and feel sorry. He sounds like he needs a good dose of reality. If he chooses to get that dose in Florida, it will be less stressful for you. And if your DH gets another choice job offer, take it and don't look back.
to you and your younger kids!
Robin M.

 

[Katie]

Just spoke to my sister, she said my parents seem appreciative of the phone call last night. She also said, they asked her to check on the house this weekend.

She is frustrated and confused as I am. She said, she will go check on the house, unless they call her and tell her not to..but she isn't going to tell them what she finds, unless they call and ask.

I talked to my son this afternoon. He said his grandparents called and told him to get the house back into shape. He said he figured I called and ratted him out. I told him it wasn't me. He said he would call and let them know the house is now clean.

I think I am going to listen to everybody's advice and take a step back.
Thanks!

 

[UrsulasShadow]

I think you are doing the wise thing. Good luck, Katie!