Advice needed. Disney meeting lastnight

[MsDisney23]

I had my Disney meeting lastnight with the girls that are going on the trip with me in May. My DD and her friend are away at college, so no biggie as I will go over everything with the two of them. Plus DD has been to Disney many of times. so I have e-mailed everything up to her.

There are 8 of us going. So lastnight I should have had 5 girls over. Four came, we had a nice time. We went over everything, I handed out all kinds of info for them to have. Airflight #, time, Hotel info, etc. this way there husband have this info as well. We watched the Disney DVD, then afterwards, we had cake and coffee.

Here is my problem, I was to have this meeting last month, but had to cancel it due to snow and ice. The one gal told me last month that she could not make it when I called to cancel as her mother was there. No problem since I was cancelling anyway.

So now the other day as I called each gal to give a friendly reminder about our Disney meeting. Oh meeting was scheduled for 6:30 pm The girl tells me that her son has guitar lesson at 7:00 pm til 7:30PM, that she would have to come late, Again I said no problem, but it that it is very important for her to come. She is the only one that does not know any of the other women and they where excited to get to meet her. She ended up to be a no show, no phone call nothing. The other girls asked me about her when they got here, I told them she would be late.

My DH said for me not to call her to wait to see if she calls, and to see what her excuse is. My "GUT FEELING" is there was nothing wrong. I think she thinks that these meeting's are nothing but a waste of time. and when the time comes she is just going to pack her bags and say lets go. Or is she going to back out last minute.

Lastnight we went over so much, our PS when and where, What parks to do on what day, etc. We even decided to order group T-shirts, and are going to see about a photo taken in front of the Castle. We really had a blast. This planning is part of our trip. This way when we get there everyone knows what we are doing, etcl.

So DH told me to find a backup. I am hurt by this. I know nothing bad happen to her. I never thought she would have done this. What would you do?

 

[zurgswife]

I think I would ask her point blank if she is still interested in going. This is a trip that she is getting mostly for free and the goodness of you inviting her.... Explain to her that planning is a big part of your dream trip and if she really doesn't have her heart in going then that's OK but you'd like to invite someone else.

 

[ebaynut31]

I agree with zurgswife. Ask her point blank. There is nothing wrong or rude about that. I hope you enjoy yourselves. I would love to be able to step in and take her place.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Another vote for a face to face chat. I kind of feel like your DH. Perhaps she has changed her mind and just doesn't know how to break it to you. Give her the chance to do it in a timely fashion by nicely asking her if she is still really interested in going.

 

[MsDisney23]

I will wait and see what happen's, not sure how much time to give her. whoever goes in her place now has to pay $100.00 as there is a change fee. I already have her airline ticket and all. I just am upset with this. A phone call goes along way. I will give her a week, if she does not call me by then, I think I will just find a replacement. Then if and when she calls I will tell her very nicely that I was not sure if she was interested in going and that it was rude on her part not to show or at least call. I mean say something. I also wonder now if when the time comes for us to go that she would just back out? However I will wait and see what happens......... Urg.

 

[kilee]

Some people just aren't into the planning thing as much as we are. I organized a trip for 12 (family) this past fall. 9 of them were newbies. Everything I said went in on ear and out the other. Where do you want to eat? (after I went over all the dining options) "Wherever you pick is fine".

I think it's great everyone else is on board. Maybe have a heart to heart with her. Let her know how much work is going into this. Maybe she'll come around.

 

[helenabear]

I honestly would just ask her... I wouldn't wait and see. Tell her how much the meeting means to you for her to be there. It coudl be she just isn't much of a planner (like me) and maybe didn't see the point of going, especially if it was late by the time she got there, maybe she thought she would have missed it all. Good luck

 

[kasar]

Maybe I'm not understanding this trip. Is this just a social trip with a bunch of friends or is it more of an organized tour? If it's a casual thing and she's already paid I would just go with the flow - if she goes, she goes. She's the only one that would lose out. If she's never been before she may not know that it requires so much planning - you know, she'll just wing it and since you are experienced she will just follow you around and you'll tell her where to be. I've done both - I've organized group things when I was "in charge" and pretty much gave out itineraries and I've been on group trips when I was very happy to let someone tell me when and where to show up. She may be wondering why you're doing so much planning and prep for "just a vacation". (first-timers just don't get it, do they? LOL)

If it's more of a formal, organized group thing and you counted on her for discount rates or to fill a room, then by all means, find out if she's going.

Again, I don't know if I understand the problem. You are so excited because you've been there before and you understand the scope of what's involved. If she's never been there before she may not get it. I would say drop the stuff (including the video) off at her house and accept the fact that she isn't into the planning but probably still wants to go.

 

[MsDisney23]

Dear Kasar,

This is a trip that I WON, no one has to pay for anything, except there food and souviner's. We have went in together for a limo. I already put everyone's name in and have everyone's airplane ticket's etc. There where many of people who wanted to go on this trip. Now if I have to get a replacement for her it will cost someone $100.00 change fee.

So I feel that she is being inconsiderate of all of us, and I am afraid that when the time comes it will not bother her to just back out. This is not fair as someone else who really wants to go would be able to. Oh what a mess. I never thought this would have happened. Not even a phone call.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would just call her and ask point blank if she is still going? (Tell her) You were wondering since she didn't show up, blah, blah, etc.. If she still wants to go, invite her over and then sit down give her the papers and briefly go over stuff.

If she says NO, then I would find a replacement. In the grand scheme of things $100. to go to WDW is a bargain!

Good Luck and Have FUN!!!!

 

[vald1977]

Wow, MsDisney23. It sure sounds like you have an inconsiderate friend. Even if she did think that planning was just a waste of time, she should have made the effort to go to the meeting because it was important to you for her to go. To not even call is even worse. If you really feel that you want to remove her from the group, I am sure that someone else will be more than willing to pay the $100 change fee. That really is quite a bargain for a trip to Disney! Good luck, I hope you are able to work it out.

 

[Rajah]

I also don't see the problem. Call and ask her point-blank if she still wants to go. If she does, ask her if she's interested in the planning stages -- sounds to me like she's like my DH. I can't get him to help with almost any of the planning information, including flight times, but when we get there he's always attentive of "what's next?". She may just be the same way. I love planning, too, so I understand the frustration about wanting to share your excitement with someone who doesn't seem that interested, but the only way to find out if it's lack of interest in the trip or lack of interest in planning is to ask her.

 

[MsDisney23]

Oh my, I am not one for confrontation! I never wanted to make any eniemies out of this trip. Lastnight I handed out alot of very important information: Time to be here, Resort hotel info with phone#, flight time's and#. All kinds of things. Itinerary schedule. We even decided as a group to order T-Shirts, and have photo taken in front of Castle. We did alot of planning as a group. To be honest we had a blast. Meeting schedule handed out: Example at the next meeting money is due for the limo $ 60.00 per person, and T-shirt money, this way shirts will be ready for Meeting in April, limo will be paid for. We will be ready. I just feel that she missed out on so much. For some reason I had a gut feeling that she would not show,now I have heard nothing. I am hoping she calls me soon and can explain to me what happened. I hate to go down to Disney with an empty spot when there are so many that would love to go. I just feel terrible. I guess I would have called if I was in her shoes. It is not everyday that someone ask you to be a guest on trip with hardly any cost involved!

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by MsDisney23
Oh my, I am not one for confrontation! I never wanted to make any eniemies out of this trip. Lastnight I handed out alot of very important information: Time to be here, Resort hotel info with phone#, flight time's and#. All kinds of things. Itinerary schedule. We even decided as a group to order T-Shirts, and have photo taken in front of Castle. We did alot of planning as a group. To be honest we had a blast. Meeting schedule handed out: Example at the next meeting money is due for the limo $ 60.00 per person, and T-shirt money, this way shirts will be ready for Meeting in April, limo will be paid for. We will be ready. I just feel that she missed out on so much. For some reason I had a gut feeling that she would not show,now I have heard nothing. I am hoping she calls me soon and can explain to me what happened. I hate to go down to Disney with an empty spot when there are so many that would love to go. I just feel terrible. I guess I would have called if I was in her shoes. It is not everyday that someone ask you to be a guest on trip with hardly any cost involved!

Maybe I'm off base here, but why would a simple question make an enemy out of her?

And like the others said, maybe she has no interest in the planning part, you won't know until you talk to her. Like other's have said, just talk with her.

 

[minniecarousel]

You are so generous to take your friends on this trip! My family would never speak to me agian if I took friends instead of family!!

I would definitely call her - not being confrontational - and tell her you're sorry she missed the meeting, but when will she be dropping off her portion of the cost. She's obviously not a "planner". Once she pays you, I'd say she's going. How late could you change her ticket if you had to?

 

[hentob]

If somebody won a trip and decided to share their winnings with ME, I would feel so honored and would bend over backwards to at least try to act interested.

I love to plan. Love it almost as much as the actual trip. I understand that everyone is not like me, but if someone was HANDING me a trip, I would at least pretend to be as excited as the "host". It just seems like the polite thing to do.

Dump your friend and take me I will come to every meeting!!!! I will come early and stay late! Promise.

All kidding aside, good luck. This may be a sign of things to come for the trip.

Hentob

 

[Keggy]

I would like to volunteer myself as the replacement for your trip!

Sounds like this woman is pretty inconsiderate. I would do exactly what you said. Wait a week, if she hasn't called - replace her!

Kelly

 

[CarolA]

Hmm... I organized a "ladies" trip one time and I see trouble ahead....

If this person is not "into" Disney and everyone else is you could have problems. (We took one woman we did not know she was one of my co-workers sisters. BY the end of day two we wanted to kill her)

 

[MsDisney23]

Maybe I should have not used the word enemie, I just do not want any hard feeling's. The others ladies stayed here until 10:00pm waiting to meet her, as she told me she was coming. I do find that very inconsiderate. I also am wondering if this is a sign of problem's down the road. All I wanted to do was have a once in a life time blast with some of my friends. I did not see or expect this from her. To be honest I am in shock. My DH did not want to go as we have just moved into our new home, he does not like Disney as much as I do. He will go every 5 years. He told me that this was a once in a life time trip for me, so and take your friends and have a blast.

I am giving her the benefit here, she tell me that she would be coming but would be a little late. I have yet to hear anything from her. I know that some do not like the planning part, I did most of the planning and made the PS's. etc. Lastnight was to go over things, and to see what changes we should make. We got alot done and all are excited. I must say that the other ladies wanted to know where the one lady was.

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

Call her right now and ask, then you'll know in 5 minutes.