Advice/Help for traveling with 3 generations and differences

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Why not ask to plan out the days ahead of time and be together as a group if that's what you want?

Because it's not only about the OP meaning what they want is not the only thing that should be considered in a family vacation. It's 3 separate families coming together for a trip and you have to be of the mindset of that to be able to have any a shot of a harmonious trip.

That's the biggest hurdle for the OP back when they created this post is simply recognizing that the way they want to do amusement and theme parks is not the only way. If your adult child says they would like to allow their own children the ability to do what they want what does that say about you (the grandparent) to say "being happy doesn't mean only going on the rides that they want to go on, and they should be learning how to have fun doing what others want. I said Disney should be a family trip." ? It means you are overstepping in your boundaries and that's not going to make for a trip where each person feels heard and listened to.

The OP's family has to work on communication with everyone so that people aren't left feeling frustrated with phone tag all day but unless you can relinquish control of your adult child who is making decisions for their own family you're setting yourself up for exactly what the OP has encountered.

 

[miksicnarf]

I suggest a different type of trip if your goal is family togetherness. Maybe a beach, or mountain cabin? There are too many options at WDW to expect everyone to be on the same page. Good luck!

 

[tom1944]

My wife decided to stay home this year so it will be me (67), our daughter (35) and granddaughter (6). Luckily my granddaughter is tall enough and fearless enough for every ride.

We will stay together the entire day and leave or rest depending on my granddaughter's needs

 

[mamaofsix]

Because it's not only about the OP meaning what they want is not the only thing that should be considered in a family vacation. It's 3 separate families coming together for a trip and you have to be of the mindset of that to be able to have any a shot of a harmonious trip.

That's the biggest hurdle for the OP back when they created this post is simply recognizing that the way they want to do amusement and theme parks is not the only way. If your adult child says they would like to allow their own children the ability to do what they want what does that say about you (the grandparent) to say "being happy doesn't mean only going on the rides that they want to go on, and they should be learning how to have fun doing what others want. I said Disney should be a family trip." ? It means you are overstepping in your boundaries and that's not going to make for a trip where each person feels heard and listened to.

The OP's family has to work on communication with everyone so that people aren't left feeling frustrated with phone tag all day but unless you can relinquish control of your adult child who is making decisions for their own family you're setting yourself up for exactly what the OP has encountered.

Yes, if that's what the son wants to do. But it sounds like they haven't even had a conversation about it at all. Maybe the grandkids and kids really do want to stay together all day - but they just don't know how to plan things and it ended up being a big flop like at the amusement park.

If they have a conversation about it and the son comes back and says "we don't really want to spend the day together," then that sets a more realistic expectation. But the grandparents shouldn't feel they have to spend thousands of dollars on a vacation where they're not welcome to tag along with their grandkids to watch them on rides.

I was just trying to propose an alternative to the "norm." A lot of families actually do enjoy staying together for the day, and it's very possible to make it happen. I would never want to plan a trip where my parents didn't feel welcome to come along with us for rides or that they were left sitting alone and confused as to where everyone was. They might as well all take separate vacations in that case.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Yes, if that's what the son wants to do. But it sounds like they haven't even had a conversation about it at all. Maybe the grandkids and kids really do want to stay together all day - but they just don't know how to plan things and it ended up being a big flop like at the amusement park.

If they have a conversation about it and the son comes back and says "we don't really want to spend the day together," then that sets a more realistic expectation. But the grandparents shouldn't feel they have to spend thousands of dollars on a vacation where they're not welcome to tag along with their grandkids to watch them on rides.

I was just trying to propose an alternative to the "norm." A lot of families actually do enjoy staying together for the day, and it's very possible to make it happen. I would never want to plan a trip where my parents didn't feel welcome to come along with us for rides or that they were left sitting alone and confused as to where everyone was. They might as well all take separate vacations in that case.

I do agree that the experiences of what each family unit was wanting was not fully fleshed out but that doesn't remove the OP's actual thoughts that what they want is how it should be and since it's the OP asking (albeit months ago) that's the person we can speak to. They have to let go of only allowing what they want to drive the trip (kinda the main point of my previous comments). The OP's son already said in a nutshell they don't want to spend the whole day together. The lines here are blurred IMO because of the at home childcare situation so the OP takes on the parental role even when the actual parents are there able to take and lead the experience of their own children.

There's nothing in the OP's words that makes me think the adult son actually told their parent they weren't welcome on rides but if the OP is making a stink about seeing the 3 year old's first ride on the log flume at the same time as complaining that they are repeating rides because their adult son (the actual parent) was unable to see their 1 1/2yr old's first rides one can probably imagine how the conversations went when it came time to rides.

And let's not forget that after a situation occurred on their first trip the "they all felt terrible, apologized profusely, my daughter-in-law ran and bought me a glass of wine" followed by "it never happened again." and a second situation where the OP said something and "I said to my son - hey let's not do that again. And it didn't happen again" which tells me a lot more than one probably would have thought by sharing that seemingly insignificant detail (the apologizing, the wine and the repeated it didn't happen again) tells me this family probably acquiesces to the OP much more than the OP wants to admit.