Advice for dealing with spoiled disrespectful teenage cousin

[Tjaleks]

I would also call the police in about a heartbeat and have on a previous occassion, (that had to do with neighborhood children, not relatives).

I have also cut a very large part of my extended family out of my life. Many of them made me feel worthless as a child and berated me every chance they got. The heart ache that stays with you even through the years is not worth having good "family" vibes. Heck, I just recently put my brother on "hold" from my life, but my mom is still working on being mediator.

The simple fact is you are your dd advocate in life and you have to be the one to stand up for her at all times. It is true we can't choose our family members, but we can decide how they are going to impact our lives and the lives of our children.

 

[Beth76]

I have a very simple answer. Don't allow this girl around you or your daughter again. And that includes Disney. You should also suggest to her mother that she put her in therapy. Something is wrong with her.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with my 14 year old bratty cousin and lay down some groundrules before this vacation comes up, I don't want them to ruin it for the rest of the people going.

As a mother of a 14yo & 8yodd....I will say....

#1) Nothing you can do.
#2) When you are having a miserable time on your vacation refer to rule #1.

Seriously, the responsibility lies with the parent. My 14yo is bratty with her 8yo sister as well. BUT as her mother I step in and discipline. You will not be able to do that. You are not the mother and sometimes even THAT is TOUGH!

It will ruin your trip if you take her, trust me. NO WAY would I even consider taking a kid that slapped my dd.

 

[tinkerbell of winter]

Thank you for all your advice.

I am still up in the air about what to do about my cousin, i'm considering changing the reservation from a two bedroom dedicated, to a two bedroom lockoff so that they could be separated from the rest of the group, my grandmother, aunt and cousin could stay in the studio portion and my mom, daughter and I would stay in the one bedroom portion. I think that would probably be the best solution, along with even planning separate parks each day. The plane tickets are already purchased so it would be kind of rude for me to say, by the way you daughter is uninvited since she is such a brat. I am kicking myself though for even coming up with the idea of inviting my aunt and cousin, I feel like i'm rewarding an already spoiled rotten brat. I love my aunt but she has raised a couple of spoiled rotten disrespectful kids, and she doesn't even realize it! I would hate to be so blind.

 

[dmslush]

Thank you for all your advice.

I am still up in the air about what to do about my cousin, i'm considering changing the reservation from a two bedroom dedicated, to a two bedroom lockoff so that they could be separated from the rest of the group, my grandmother, aunt and cousin could stay in the studio portion and my mom, daughter and I would stay in the one bedroom portion. I think that would probably be the best solution, along with even planning separate parks each day. The plane tickets are already purchased so it would be kind of rude for me to say, by the way you daughter is uninvited since she is such a brat. I am kicking myself though for even coming up with the idea of inviting my aunt and cousin, I feel like i'm rewarding an already spoiled rotten brat. I love my aunt but she has raised a couple of spoiled rotten disrespectful kids, and she doesn't even realize it! I would hate to be so blind.

It is absolutely NOT rude to univite the girl when she has been physically violent towards your child. By allowing this girl to hit your child, and then not putting a stop to it ASAP and getting this kid out of your dd's life, you are teaching your child that it is okay to hit.. and worse yet, it is okay to BE hit. Just because this kid is family is no excuse. If it were a 14 year old stranger, would you allow them to slap your dd and get away with it? You dd has to learn now that violence isn't acceptable and that you will not let it happen to her. When she is a teen and her boyfriend hits her, do you want her to be able to come to you and have 100% assurance that mom will help her stop this violence and protect her?

Just call your aunt and tell her straight up, you TEEN hits my child, degrades my child, etc.. and I will not spend my vacation knowing that my child is being abused.

Worse case scenerio and they still take the girl, rearrange your days, go to different parks than the rest of the family. Let your kid enjoy this trip without being afraid that she is going to be abused and picked on.

 

[Twinkles6892]

for you! I want to know how much self control it took for you not to look at said cousin and say "Well, I may be working on getting down my weight, but your ugly face is forever...no gym can help that!"

Thanks! My mom said to say "Hey Chris, Bert's missing his favorite catapiller." But he probably wouldn't get it. He's stupid. hehe

 

[froglady]

Thank you for all your advice.

I am still up in the air about what to do about my cousin, i'm considering changing the reservation from a two bedroom dedicated, to a two bedroom lockoff so that they could be separated from the rest of the group, my grandmother, aunt and cousin could stay in the studio portion and my mom, daughter and I would stay in the one bedroom portion. I think that would probably be the best solution, along with even planning separate parks each day. The plane tickets are already purchased so it would be kind of rude for me to say, by the way you daughter is uninvited since she is such a brat. I am kicking myself though for even coming up with the idea of inviting my aunt and cousin, I feel like i'm rewarding an already spoiled rotten brat. I love my aunt but she has raised a couple of spoiled rotten disrespectful kids, and she doesn't even realize it! I would hate to be so blind.

If no tells her, how will she realize it? I'm sorry, but it's time to tell her the truth! "Your daughter has hurt my child, so I don't really want to spend a week with her in close proximity to us. If you can't, or won't, give her an attitude adjustment within the next month, I have no choice but to cancel or change your reservations (or mine) I love you to pieces, but my daughter must be protected from yours. Sorry."