Advanced band/woodwind parents-need encouragement

[Cindy B]

I'm having some difficulty with my child who has been playing the oboe for going on four years.

He is now in 7th grade and the oboe is suddenly not cool. He's fighting practice and saying it's not cool and such like that.

He's a talented musician that can pick up pieces quickly and understands them. He's the only oboist in his grade and well, he's surrounded by girls/young women.

We had a private oboe teacher but she had a baby so she isn't taking any new students. Private oboe teachers are a bit hard to find in our area. There are a few orchestra players that teach on the "side" but they are out in the city and well the rate is pretty high. I'd be willing to pay for the private teacher but I think he's just scowl through the whole thing and not understand what it is supposed to do.

This is a kid who just picked up this instrument and did well even as a beginner. It would break my heart to see him quit over something so crazy like skateboarding.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Let him choose another instrument.
Middle school is about finding your path, so you can excel in HS.
Is he planning on band in HS?

 

[Cindy B]

Oboe isn't a band instrument. Its an advanced woodwind ensemble and/or orchestra piece. You can't march with an oboe. You would choke yourself.

He can't really change instruments in middle school. There is too much time and money invested in the instrument. The oboe itself is very expensive (good ones run five figures), and reeds are expensive as well.

He has an electric guitar and goofs around with it. He said he would keep up with the oboe as well as the elec. guitar. Guess which one is suddenly more cooler? Not the oboe.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oboe isn't a band instrument. Its an advanced woodwind ensemble and/or orchestra piece.

You can't march with an oboe. You would choke yourself.

OK, no need to be snide.

Is he planning on orchestra then?

 

[golfgal]

I have to agree with your son, the oboe isn't cool in 7th grade. Let him pick another instrument. If he has skill with the oboe he should be able to pick up something else pretty quickly. He can continue with the oboe too if he wants. Also, is band popular in your school? It might just be that. Band is huge here so any instrument is cool. It makes a big difference what the school perception of band is too.

 

[golfgal]

Oboe isn't a band instrument. Its an advanced woodwind ensemble and/or orchestra piece. You can't march with an oboe. You would choke yourself.

He can't really change instruments in middle school. There is too much time and money invested in the instrument. The oboe itself is very expensive (good ones run five figures), and reeds are expensive as well.

He has an electric guitar and goofs around with it. He said he would keep up with the oboe as well as the elec. guitar. Guess which one is suddenly more cooler? Not the oboe.

Um, you are the one that listed it as a band instrument--many bands do have oboes.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Um, you are the one that listed it as a band instrument--many bands do have oboes.

Thank you...OK, I just asked my 16yodd and they have 2 oboes in her marching band.

 

[Rachie0507]

I was a French horn player in high school (a darn good one too ). I'd say, let him choose a different instrument, perhaps even a different ensemble. I remember quite a few kids who suddenly were "too cool" for band around that age but were happy to pick up a Sax or guitar and join the Jazz Ensemble. If he is an advanced player, picking up another instrument should be fairly easy (and also a good skill to have). I don't think it will benefit anyone if he is forced to continue playing. And if he is playing well now in middle school, it should be easy to pick back up in a couple of years when and if he is ready.

 

[Cindy B]

Um, you are the one that listed it as a band instrument--many bands do have oboes.

Marching bands don't. I know in some areas they only have marching band so that isn't an option with this instrument. There are concert bands, woodwind bands, advanced woodwind ensembles and such here.

There are tons of band opportunities but he's just scowls about it. He has the electric guitar but he excels at the oboe.. Its such a difficult instrument to even attempt to play and he does it well.. it seems like such as waste.

 

[Briarmom]

NOOOOOOOOOO! Tell him the oboe will be very cool in a little bit when he's in State Bands/Orchestras (I played in Bands ) as the only boy.

The oboe is such a great instrument. He's probably not going to find a much more 'socially exceptable' woodwind unless he moves to the Sax.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

As a side note my dd played Alto Sax....she was among the guys.

 

[Cindy B]

Thank you...OK, I just asked my 16yodd and they have 2 oboes in her marching band.

Strange. They are not allowed in ours. The oboes/french horns and bassoons have their own ensemble here.

A lot of people get clarinets and oboes mixed up. I"m suprised they have marching oboes

You really can't march with an oboe-- you can choke! Plus the wood instruments can warp with the all type of condition weather-- at least around here.

 

[Cindy B]

NOOOOOOOOOO! Tell him the oboe will be very cool in a little bit when he's in State Bands/Orchestras (I played in Bands ) as the only boy.

The oboe is such a great instrument. He's probably not going to find a much more 'socially exceptable' woodwind unless he moves to the Sax.

He's done state bands since back in 4th grade. That's sort of old hat now.. unfortunately. Yes, state bands in his FIRST year playing.. he's that good.

 

[Briarmom]

He's done state bands since back in 4th grade. That's sort of old hat now.. unfortunately. Yes, state bands in his FIRST year playing.. he's that good.

I understand that, but the girls weren't a big selling point in 4th grade. Perhaps in 9th-10th grade they will be?

ETA: What made him pick oboe in 4th grade? I really want one of my kids to play oboe (plus that will give me a good reason to buy one) and ds is almost 9. Did he get private lessons right away? Oboe is a lot of breath control, so to do so well that early is awesome!

 

[barkley]

hmmmm, i would think it would be very appealing to be the only guy surrounded by girls/young ladies. always seemed to be with the band/orchestra guys i knew

by any chance are there any community theatre groups that do musicals near you? if so you might want to give them a call and find out what the availability of oboe players is for their pit orchestras and what they pay (i know, it's community theatre but most end up paying the pit orchestra or they don't end up with decent musicians). perhaps he could see the financial potential (when i was on the board of a community theatre woodwind players were in high demand and got lots of gigs).

 

[Cindy B]

I understand that, but the girls weren't a big selling point in 4th grade. Perhaps in 9th-10th grade they will be?

ETA: What made him pick oboe in 4th grade? I really want one of my kids to play oboe (plus that will give me a good reason to buy one) and ds is almost 9. Did he get private lessons right away? Oboe is a lot of breath control, so to do so well that early is awesome!

No private lessons at first. He got private lessons about mid way through his second year.

He picked oboe because well, it was different. This district is one of those where the parents do call the band director and ask them what do you need type thing. I didn't call the band directors but I know some parents that do.

I would love to move him to either French Horn or bassoon. There is only one bassoon player in our district and he's graduating soon. There are a few oboes but not many.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Strange. They are not allowed in ours. The oboes/french horns and bassoons have their own ensemble here.

A lot of people get clarinets and oboes mixed up. I"m suprised they have marching oboes

You really can't march with an oboe-- you can choke! Plus the wood instruments can warp with the all type of condition weather-- at least around here.

Correction, not in marching but in her concert band. That is what I get for talking to a sleeping 16yo.

I know how you feel with your son. My dd quit band this year after marching season. She hated to do it but she was just not that great (compared to others in the band). She wanted to take AP EURO before we moved.

Middle school is about exploration and if he is as good as you say he will pick it up.
In fact MOST of dd's friends in band play MANY MANY instruments. So learning a new one might be good.

He is wanting to drop out altogether?

 

[golfgal]

Strange. They are not allowed in ours. The oboes/french horns and bassoons have their own ensemble here.

A lot of people get clarinets and oboes mixed up. I"m suprised they have marching oboes

You really can't march with an oboe-- you can choke! Plus the wood instruments can warp with the all type of condition weather-- at least around here.

Oh please, we know very well what an oboe is. I have been involved in orchestra since I was in 4th grade. You can march with an oboe. Many marching bands allow all band instruments. It isn't much different then marching with a clarinet. One band in our area had a bassoon marching last year--she won soloist honors at most of the competitions too. Most of the clarinets are wood and they do just fine, no worse the any of the other instruments and seeing as our kids can march in temps anywhere from 40° to 100° we see it all.

Our high school has one of the top ranked marching bands in the nation, trust me, we have seen it all in marching band. Most marching bands have electric guitars now, let him go with that if you want him in marching band.

It seems to me you like the elite status of your son playing the oboe, fine. HE doesn't want to play it any longer. Yes, it is a waste but do you really want to fight him for the next 6 years?

 

[Briarmom]

No private lessons at first. He got private lessons about mid way through his second year.

He picked oboe because well, it was different. I would love to move him to either French Horn or bassoon. There is only one bassoon player in our district and he's graduating soon. There are a few oboes but not many.

I picked up Bassoon for a few months and really didn't like it. French Horn is awesome, but not as easy of a transition. I've never played any brass instruments (besides messing around) so I can't offer any perspective on that one. Tenor Sax was fun...can he play his guitar in the jazz ensemble?

 

[Cindy B]

Correction, not in marching but in her concert band. That is what I get for talking to a sleeping 16yo.

I know how you feel with your son. My dd quit band this year after marching season. She hated to do it but she was just not that great (compared to others in the band). She wanted to take AP EURO before we moved.

Middle school is about exploration and if he is as good as you say he will pick it up.
In fact MOST of dd's friends in band play MANY MANY instruments. So learning a new one might be good.

He is wanting to drop out altogether?

Yep, wanting to drop out altogether since the oboe is the g word.