Adoption Updates

[MickeyCrazedMom]

Just found this thread and needed to mention that I just came home from the hospital an hour ago where my daughter was born yesterday. She is our third child, all domestic adoptions.

To any and all birthmoms lurking: As someone who just came from spending 2 days with the woman who gave birth to my new baby girl, I have so much respect for you. If not for you, I would not be a mom. I am very involved in my Adoption Agency and can honestly say I have never heard an adoptive parent make a negative comment about BMs. (Not saying it doesn't happen, its just not common). Outside people often make negative comments due to ignorance both about BMs and adoption. I am very vocal when I hear something like that. My children only hear positive information at this age. As they grow there are some realities they will need to hear, but it is important to us that they have a positive impression of their birthmom and how they helped make us a family.

Good luck to everyone waiting. I just stopped in to share my excitement!!!

 

[alizesmom]

I am thankful that I have my children. Mine came from a different route (the foster system) where BMs may not be someone to brag about. I firmly believe that both BMs loved their child but were unable to care for the special needs involved with them. Do I ever criticize them? In all honesty yes, on the days that my child is suffering from the damages that are probably due to maternal drug use I am angry. I still feel the moms loved their babies but just couldn't give up the drugs/alcohol. This does not make them bad, just human. I realize this is totally different from most BMs who choose to relinquish their child for the child's sake. No matter what, I bless all of you. Karen

 

[monami7]

We have 2 DD's we adopted in the past Year and a half. One isfrom Haiti. She came home 7 months from when I "found her" actually I like to say she found us! And was 14 months when we got off the plane. She was very sick though so a lot of her process was expedited. She is now a healthy happy 2 1/2 year old Lilly Monster!
Aurora Grace came home from China last August "07 after waiting since our LID of Nov. 9th, 2005 for her. She is now 14 moths old and just a joy. I wish you all a speady process. i always sais that things happened for a reason and you will end up with the children you were meant to have. Everytime I see my two babies singing (yes singing!) to Keith Urban in the back of my car I am pretty sure these two are mine! LOL
God will give you the biggest blessings
Heidi

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Congratulations, ALittleDisneyFan! Your dd sounds like a doll! It must be scary for those toddlers -- old enough to understand they are leaving one home, but not old enough to verbalize their emotions to their new families.

My dd just turned 5 (domestic adoption) and is just now starting to show sadness and saying she misses her first mommy, whom she really never met.

Congratulations to you, too, MickeyCrazedMom!

Mselly13, big hugs to you! I always say that most parents put their child's needs before their own, but few do it to the enormous extent that a birthmother does. We have never met my dd's birthmom, but I can't help but love her. She is the reason we have this awesome little girl, and she's part of her, so how can I not?

Like others said, I haven't heard anything bad about birthmoms from adoptive parents, though I've heard some from people outside the adoption triad, who usually do not understand the process. I always be sure to set them straight, too!

Being new to this thread and very excited to find it, can I ask where people are adopting from and the waiting time they have been give by the time the baby arrives?....TIA

It's been just over 5 years since my dd was born and came home with us. We adopted through a private, domestic agency and were told the wait would be from 3-24 months, with an average of about a year. At least 3 months to get the homestudy, classes (required in my state) and profile all done, then it just depends on how long it takes until a potential birth family chooses you as the family for their child . For us, the whole process, from initial application, homestudy, wait to be chosen, then wait for the birth, was about 18 months. Good luck!

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

Our son was adopted from Ethiopia. He came home when he was 27 months old. Our process was six months from the very beginning (choosing an agency, homestudy, etc) to having our son in our in our arms. The only reason it was so short is that our timing was just perfect for our specific request. It was not typical. When we started our agency quoted us 12-18 months, but they happened to get a large number of toddlers assigned to them, so while we were completing our homestudy and dossier we were told the wait decreased dramatically for toddlers an to be preared to wait just 6 months after our dossier was done. Then it just so happened every person ahead of us on the list either wanted a girl (we requested a boy) or if they were open to a boy their request stopped at age 24 months or began at 36 months. Our son was 24 months and 2 weeks old, so we passed over many other families whose request was short by just 2 weeks. Its kind of amazing really because our initial homestudy had also put our upper age limit at 24 months but it just never felt right, so we raised it at the last minute. Thank God we did!!! Our son is soo perfect for our family.

As far as his Ethiopian Family (we don't use the term birth family because they did SOOO much more than birth him) we keep in contact with them and love them very much. We consider them part of our family and they consider us family too. Hs mother died shortly after he was born, but he still has his father, 4 siblings, grandparents, aunt and uncles, etc. We plan on going back many time to visit beginning in 2010 when our son turns 5. My son (and us too) refers to his Ethiopian family by the words in his tribal language for daddy, brother, sister, etc. And us by mommy, daddy, etc. The only differentiation is the language. We followed our sons lead on that. He stills remembers them all quite well and loves to look at photos. I'm sure the memories will fade but we will continue to ahow him the videos and photos we have and visits will keep the relationship going. His father raised him as long as he could after his mother died, and it is so obvious he was so loved and cared for. They have the same smile and laugh and many signs of affection that we witnessed his father doing are things my son does with us everyday... so I know he was given so much... as much as his father possibly could. So you'll never hear ANYTHING negative from me in regards to birthparents. i feel so blessed to be able to maintain that connection for my son and I am so thankful to his father. I pray for his family daily.

 

[DVCJEN]

Our DS has been home for just over a year now. He was 20 months old when he arrived from Korea. He was considered a "Waiting Child" so our process was pretty fast. We started our application in June. Did our Homestudy in July and had his referral by August 5. He came home at the end of January 2007.
He has been an absolute joy from day one. Adoption is the best thing I have ever done!

 

[SandrainNC]

Just an update from us. Reece came home to us from South Korea on January 19, 2007. He will be 20 months old on Wednesday. He is doing great! He is a little handful though! Let me tell you! It seems like he has been with us from the start. I cannot believe he has been home over a year! He will be going on his second trip to Disney World in June. He had a febrile seizure during our last trip in November and scared us really bad!!!! We were in the hotel when it happened. Better than the monorail 20 minutes earlier though! So, we are hoping for a trip not quite as exciting this time from him. I saw enough of the Celebration Hospital ER to last me forever.

Also, I think of Reece's birth mother often. That has to be one of the hardest decisions to make ever. I have never seen anything negative towards birth moms here either. Like another poster said, children from the foster care system can be a very different story. I have a friend who does foster care.

I recently sent a lot of pictures and videos to Reece's foster moms in Korea (he had 2) so they can see how he has grown. I hope they enjoy them.

Sandra

 

[skoi]

We adopted two waiting children (with cleft lip/palate) from China.

The process for our son (he came home 2/08) was about 7 months from application to when we traveled to complete the adoption. This includes all the time spent getting paperwork, homestudy, etc. However, we're old hands at getting together adoption paperwork, had done home studies already, and he was special needs, so his paperwork was sped up.

Julie

 

[skoi]

Sandra-
Congratulations. Strange how they seem to fit in once you're home with them.
Both of our adopted children were like that, as well.

 

[katedrew94]

Hi everyone-

I'm sorry it's been a while since I checked in on the DIS, things have been a little nuts.

We are leaving sometime in the next 2 weeks to go to Vietnam and adopt our daughter, who is 9 months old and living in Vietnam. It has been the longest, most arduous thing I have done, but is already completely worth it.

PM me if you would like our blog address.

 

[Tink561]

Hi everyone-

I'm sorry it's been a while since I checked in on the DIS, things have been a little nuts.

We are leaving sometime in the next 2 weeks to go to Vietnam and adopt our daughter, who is 9 months old and living in Vietnam. It has been the longest, most arduous thing I have done, but is already completely worth it.

PM me if you would like our blog address.

Congratulations!!!!! Enjoy the amazing experience. Our time in China flew by and it was one of the best times of my life. I can't wait to hear about your life at home with your new daughter. Our dd was 9 months old when we met her in Jiangxi, PRC.

 

[scarlett873]

Hi everyone-

I'm sorry it's been a while since I checked in on the DIS, things have been a little nuts.

We are leaving sometime in the next 2 weeks to go to Vietnam and adopt our daughter, who is 9 months old and living in Vietnam. It has been the longest, most arduous thing I have done, but is already completely worth it.

PM me if you would like our blog address.

Congrats!! Can't wait to see pictures! I'll PM you momentarily. I'm always up for blog-stalking!

So the latest China rumor is that referrals are through Januray 9, 2006. Last month, they got to January 4th. 5 days. 5 lousy days. I'm trying my best to keep my chin up about this...i've done pretty well so far, but good god almighty, i'm beginning to lose faith. Will I ever see my daughter's face or get to hear squeals of glee from her? I'm going to be 93 by the time they get to April 15, 2007 referrals! This truly sucks.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

What wonderful stories and to those waiting I will say a prayer that time goes by quickly!

 

[katedrew94]

Thanks for all of the congratulations!

Our daughter has a CL/CP as well as extra digits. She is crawling and already getting into everything. We got a set of pictures of her on Monday and there is one of her crawling toward a pile of stuff with a curious look on her face. It was just precious.

I am going to post the pics on my blog once she is ours officially!

 

[Tink561]

Brandie,
I am so sorry the wait has stretched so long. You will see your daughter eventually and she will be the perfect child for your family. During the long wait you need to find support locally and online. Do you have a DTC Yahoo group? You all can support each other.

big hugs to you during this long wait.

 

[scarlett873]

Brandie,
I am so sorry the wait has stretched so long. You will see your daughter eventually and she will be the perfect child for your family. During the long wait you need to find support locally and online. Do you have a DTC Yahoo group? You all can support each other.

big hugs to you during this long wait.

Thanks for the support! I'm involved with our DTC/LID Yahoo group. It helps, but i'm not terribly active over there. I'm also involved with April 2007 LID's on RUmor Queen, but again, not very active. And our agency holds meetings every couple of months for China families. I guess one of my coping mechanisms is to not think so much about it...lol...but when I do, I get frustrated. So I try hard not to focus on the wait times, but every now and then, it comes up and smacks me upside the head! One thing that is helping, at least reight now anyway, is that my DTC yahoo group is doing secret pals. I'm having fun shopping for my secret pal and it's even more fun to get a big box full of stuff for our family! My pal last month sent us the most adorable little ladybug bikini for our DD! It came with a terrycloth cover up and a sun hat. A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E.!!!!!

I'm coping as best I can right now. Most days, I do alright! But like I said, every now and then...WHAM!

 

[marybet]

A question, there was a poster who had a picture of her soon to be adopted daughter named Lily. I don't want to go through this whole thread, did she finally get to bring Lily home? I never see a post with that picture and I used to see her post a lot. Just wondering. TIA

 

[scarlett873]

Sadly, no. Not sure of the details as the poster has chosen to keep the information private.

 

[marybet]

Sadly, no. Not sure of the details as the poster has chosen to keep the information private.

Thanks. I have wondered about her for some time. So sad it did not work out for her.

 

[scarlett873]

Just wondering if anyone had any updates!

Us...nope. Not yet. China's cleared families in the review room for 2006! They're now into 2007. I'm a little nervous because we'll be coming up soon in the review room!!