Adoption Updates

[happybratpack]

Oh my goodness, that's such a difficult situation. I can't imagine. Keep us updated.

Well, we have a HUGE decision to make. Tatiana, our adoption agent, called my DH this morning. Evidently Ivan and Kristina's birth parents had 2 more children since ours were taken away from them. The boy is 4 and beautiful... she sent us pictures. He resembles Kristina a little more than Ivan, but they look very much alike anyway. We don't have a photo of the little girl, who is younger than the boy. I don't know their names.

So, now we have to decide if we want to adopt them, too.

Our kids have other older siblings and although I ache for those kids, we do not know where they are and we didn't want older children than what Ivan and Kristina were when we got them. I'd love to know where they are, just so there could be contact between the siblings.

Things I know about these kids are that they were born to alcoholic parents. Kristina displays some signs of fetal alcohol syndrome. Ivan displays none. We like to travel and having 4 in our family is the perfect number to only need one room. We save a bunch for our kids each time we're paid so they can go to an private preparatory HS (if Kristina can handle the curriculum. The jury is still out on that one) and for college. The savings would be spread throughout 2 more kids.

But, then again, our house is big enough to support two more kids. We could even swing it that each would have their own bedroom if we moved the office to the basement.

EEK! This decision is so huge! My mind is absolutely racing. I definitely have to pray over this for several days, at least.

If any of you are interested, it would make my decision easier because I'd know that they were going to a good home and we could at least keep the kids in touch when they get older... maybe through meeting up at WDW?

 

[aprilgail2]

Well, we have a HUGE decision to make. Tatiana, our adoption agent, called my DH this morning. Evidently Ivan and Kristina's birth parents had 2 more children since ours were taken away from them. The boy is 4 and beautiful... she sent us pictures. He resembles Kristina a little more than Ivan, but they look very much alike anyway. We don't have a photo of the little girl, who is younger than the boy. I don't know their names.

So, now we have to decide if we want to adopt them, too.

Our kids have other older siblings and although I ache for those kids, we do not know where they are and we didn't want older children than what Ivan and Kristina were when we got them. I'd love to know where they are, just so there could be contact between the siblings.

Things I know about these kids are that they were born to alcoholic parents. Kristina displays some signs of fetal alcohol syndrome. Ivan displays none. We like to travel and having 4 in our family is the perfect number to only need one room. We save a bunch for our kids each time we're paid so they can go to an private preparatory HS (if Kristina can handle the curriculum. The jury is still out on that one) and for college. The savings would be spread throughout 2 more kids.

But, then again, our house is big enough to support two more kids. We could even swing it that each would have their own bedroom if we moved the office to the basement.

EEK! This decision is so huge! My mind is absolutely racing. I definitely have to pray over this for several days, at least.

If any of you are interested, it would make my decision easier because I'd know that they were going to a good home and we could at least keep the kids in touch when they get older... maybe through meeting up at WDW?

If you decide not to adopt them I really hope that you do find them so they can be in touch later on in life. I was adopted and didn't get to meet my birth brothers and sister until I was in my 30's and that really stunk! I always wanted a sister growing up and to find out I was denied that one I had until I was 32 still upsets me to this day!

 

[Kim in TN]

...Two years ago we met our son, we had traveled half way around the world, we were jet lagged, alone, and afraid, we had heard all the warnings, been deprived of water and food (except what we carried) we hadn't been able to get in touch with our family and had witnessed a person being run over by a car. But on our 3rd day in Kazakhstan we were taken to Baby House #1. Kazakhstan doesn't recognize referrals, so we were ushered to the Director's Office and were asked many questions translated by our translator, when 3 little boys were brought into the room fitted the description of the child we hoped to adopt. We were scared we wouldn't recognize the child we had grown to love from a photograph, as it was taken a year or so earlier, when one of the boys climbed into my lap and gave me the biggest hug I'd ever had and said whispered "Mama" in my ear. It was on this day 2 years ago that we met our Son. We stayed in Kazakhstan for 60 days before traveling home with our Son.
Our adoption story has been perfect so far, I never imagined we would be as fortunate as we have been blessed to be. He has fit into our family, like he was always with us. We have never laughed so hard as he tried to translate russian into english, as he carried a fly swatter under his arm like General Patton, yelling "NO KITTY" to keep the animals away from him, as he was very afraid, it wasn't very long before he was hunting them down, ,so he could show them his "No Kitty" (his only few english words at the time), his excitement as he tried his first pizza, the look on his face when he finally made it to "Mickey Mouse's Doma" ( Mickey Mouse's house) that was one of his requests of us the caregivers told us was to go to Mickey's house, and like most of you I could go on and on.

Thanks for sharing my Sentimental Day (if you made it this far)
And to those still waiting, the wait is terribly hard (we waited almost exactly 1 yr to travel) but in the end the wait is so worth it.

Us at Baby House #1- Visitation

3 weeks after coming home

The first view of Mickey Mouse's house

 

[Sandy22]

I'm currently in the process of adopting two girls from Haiti. I've been in the process for a long time, almost 2 years now. Usually it takes 8-12 months to complete a Haitian adoption. I've watched my daughters grow up in pictures during the past 18 months. It's been one of the hardest things to go through. But the end is in sight and if all goes well they should be home in less than 8 weeks!

I would encourage anyone looking to adopt internationally to consider Haiti - there are so many beautiful babies and older children waiting for their forever families.

Haiti is only a 3 hour flight from the US so you can visit your child at the orphanage while you wait for the process to be completed. In addition, you can adopt independently and save on agency fees. The children are mostly in orphanages run by American missionaries - if you've ever watched Adoption Stories you might have seen a wonderful orphanage called God's Littlest Angels.

Haiti is one of the world's poorest countries and as a result, many families must abandon their children because they can no longer feed them. If anyone wants more information on Haitian adoption please feel free to pm me.

Sandy

 

[kdibattista]

...Two years ago we met our son, we had traveled half way around the world, we were jet lagged, alone, and afraid, we had heard all the warnings, been deprived of water and food (except what we carried) we hadn't been able to get in touch with our family and had witnessed a person being run over by a car. But on our 3rd day in Kazakhstan we were taken to Baby House #1. Kazakhstan doesn't recognize referrals, so we were ushered to the Director's Office and were asked many questions translated by our translator, when 3 little boys were brought into the room fitted the description of the child we hoped to adopt. We were scared we wouldn't recognize the child we had grown to love from a photograph, as it was taken a year or so earlier, when one of the boys climbed into my lap and gave me the biggest hug I'd ever had and said whispered "Mama" in my ear. It was on this day 2 years ago that we met our Son. We stayed in Kazakhstan for 60 days before traveling home with our Son.
Our adoption story has been perfect so far, I never imagined we would be as fortunate as we have been blessed to be. He has fit into our family, like he was always with us. We have never laughed so hard as he tried to translate russian into english, as he carried a fly swatter under his arm like General Patton, yelling "NO KITTY" to keep the animals away from him, as he was very afraid, it wasn't very long before he was hunting them down, ,so he could show them his "No Kitty" (his only few english words at the time), his excitement as he tried his first pizza, the look on his face when he finally made it to "Mickey Mouse's Doma" ( Mickey Mouse's house) that was one of his requests of us the caregivers told us was to go to Mickey's house, and like most of you I could go on and on.

Thanks for sharing my Sentimental Day (if you made it this far)
And to those still waiting, the wait is terribly hard (we waited almost exactly 1 yr to travel) but in the end the wait is so worth it.

 

[RUDisney]

Kim, he just keeps getting more and more handsome! The day you met him is such a nice day to remember. When is your official Gotcha Day? The picture looking at Mickey Mouse's Doma brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful present to give to him! We've spent our 1st and 3rd Gotcha Days in WDW, with buttons on so that everyone would know we were celebrating. My DS was mad that we didn't go for our 4th one last year, but we told him that we only go for our odd numbered ones. Little does he know that this year we won't be going there, instead, we're going to celebrate his 11th birthday at Universal Studios. It'll be a surprise trip for him.

 

[RUDisney]

So, we've made up our minds and we've discussed the decision with Ivan and Kristina. We will not be pursuing their youngest siblings for adoption. My best friend said to me, you'll know when you are done having kids. I really feel done.

The positives of a decision to adopt them is that we'd have two more kids to love and be loved by. We'd have two more to give us grandchildren and to take care of us in our later years. We'd get to experience everything all over again through their eyes. We'd be saving them from a really lousy life in Russia.

But, I run around like a headless chicken with the two that I have. Would I be able to handle juggling two more schedules? I just don't know. I am not married to a man who was taught as he was growing up to help with anything. He was raised to work... and work... and work... I keep reminding him now that when he is ready to die, I'm sure he won't say to anyone that he wishes that he could have worked more, but that he could have spent more time with these two children when they were young. It's just not in his programming to be a very involved Dad, but he's a good provider and he really loves all of us.... as he would two more. I work FT. I'm a VP with aspirations of being promoted one of these days to SVP. I work to make sure that our children can attend private HS and college. I work to give them all of the opportunities that my parents truly had to struggle to offer to us. Plus, I really like to work... I like what I do very much. If I didn't, I wouldn't be working for the same employer for 18 years. Two more kids don't fit into the picture that I've always imagined for us and really that my DH has had for us.

So, together, and with the children, we've decided to let another family, or families adopt these two beautiful children. We have told the agency that we want them to ensure that whoever adopts these children will know where we are and how to contact us. Even if we can only send Christmas and birthday cards, we'll know that these children are happy and safe and our children's siblings will know that our kids are happy and safe.

There are also 5 older siblings to our children. I keep asking the agency to try to find out where they are so we can all keep in touch. I often wonder if the reason that we could make this decision is that we already know that our children were part of a larger family and that we couldn't adopt all of them... but we could save at least two of them.

I know that these kids will find a home outside of Russia. From the pictures of the little boy, he is just beautiful... blond hair and blue eyes. If he is half as handsome as Ivan, he will do very well with the ladies when he's older. One thing I can say is that even though they can't give up the vodka, their birth parents sure can make beautiful kids.

So, I promised to update you when we were comfortable with our decision.... and we are now. We'll remain a 4-person family until our kids grow up, get married and have kids of their own.

 

[lynetteSC]

HI RUDisney- I am glad to hear your update. I was wondering how things were going. I know it was a difficult decision for you all to make.

 

[kdibattista]

I was perusing my agencies website searching for fundraising ideas and came across this story:

Making a Difference


A well known author was vacationing on a beautiful coast. One morning, very early, he was walking along the beach.

In the distance he saw a lone figure dancing. Fascinated by this celebration of the dawn, he moved closer.

It was then he realized that the young man was not dancing, but was picking objects up from the beach and tossing them out into the sea with a graceful movement.

As he approached the young man, he saw that he was throwing starfish. "Why in the world are you throwing starfish into the water?" he asked.

"If the starfish are still on the beach when the tide goes out and the sun rises higher in the sky, they will die," replied the young man as he continued tossing them out to sea.

"That's ridiculous! There are thousands of miles of beach and millions of starfish. You can't really believe that what you're doing could possibly make a difference?" the observer countered.

The young man picked up another star fish, paused thoughtfully and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, "It makes a difference to this one."

I just thought it was so telling and wanted to pass it along.

 

[happybratpack]

I was perusing my agencies website searching for fundraising ideas and came across this story:

Making a Difference

Thank you for posting this...I just love this little story.

Hasn't been many updates lately, I hope everyones process is going smoothly. I'm still waiting on paperwork and trying to not be depressed. Such a long time and the waiting is so so hard.

to everyone

 

[Kim in TN]

Kim, he just keeps getting more and more handsome! The day you met him is such a nice day to remember. When is your official Gotcha Day? The picture looking at Mickey Mouse's Doma brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful present to give to him! We've spent our 1st and 3rd Gotcha Days in WDW, with buttons on so that everyone would know we were celebrating. My DS was mad that we didn't go for our 4th one last year, but we told him that we only go for our odd numbered ones. Little does he know that this year we won't be going there, instead, we're going to celebrate his 11th birthday at Universal Studios. It'll be a surprise trip for him.

RUDisney sorry I didn't answer I just noticed your question. WE consider our Gotcha Day as March 4th, actually our paperwork was finalized on Feb 27th, we got him March 3rd (waiting on his passport etc) BUT we came home March 4th and to us that was is our Gotcha day, it was such a rocky road and to be coming home to us that felt official. Thanks for the nice sentiments.
That time of year is busy for us. Valentines day Feb 14th, his birthday Feb 17th and our Gotcha day March 4th

Hope you have a great trip to Universal, for your sons birthday.

The Mickey's Doma picture is cute I agree, and how many times can you just walk up to the castle and not see anyone around?? I have another cute pic of him and the castle I'll try to post it later, its part 2 of the Doma picture.

Good luck and pixie dust to all those in waiting, I remember that time and it was not fun!! We waited 1 full year with no new pictures and it was very hard! But its so worth it.

 

[Kim in TN]

Here's the picture I promised
I can still hear the music playing in the background as he danced in front of the castle and again no one was around.

 

[kdibattista]

Here's the picture I promised
I can still hear the music playing in the background as he danced in front of the castle and again no one was around.

 

[Rienchen]

I saw a Caucasian couple on the Epcot monorail last week. They had their Asian daughter in a stroller. She was a happy little girl and had an amazing smile. She kept saying, "Tickle me, Mommy" then she would look up at me and giggle like mad when her mom leaned over to tickle her.

ust wanted to share that our daughter Hannah was adopted from China about 1 1/2 years ago.

Michelle,THAT was the little girl I saw on the monorail! She is SO BEAUTIFUL! My husband couldn't stop staring at her either. We could tell that you were a loving and happy little family. It inspired me! It made me want to run out and adopt right away.

I just wanted to share that i was pretty sure Wendy was talking about us... I was BAWLING when i read her post. What are the chances of that?

Okay, yesterday was the first time I was on the Community board and I read this thread and wanted to let you know, that this little store made me cry my eyes out.....what a small world it is.
And yes 'micheme', you daughter is very beautiful....I have to agree....as are all the other children here.
I subscribed to the thread and will follow all of your stories...
Somebody posted a link to their 'blog', which had a link to another journal in it...somehow I ended up on a website from a family, that adopted two little girls from China within 1 year....brought one of them home just 2 weeks ago.,...it was beautiful to read.
Are there any 'adoption' discussion boards, where you can follow more stories?

Marina

 

[scarlett873]

I've found a few sites here and there...but they are mostly China related. A personal favorite of mine is The Story of You . It's a website that families may post to while they are in China. I love reading about their adventures!

There's another site that I frequent...it has listings of various adoption blogs. It's at adoption blogs .Mine's even in there! Not that there's anything terribly exciting in it yet...lol

 

[budbeerlady]

Thanks for everyones great stories!

 

[Micheme]

There are some really good yahoo groups with china adoptions with lots of stories and advice.

 

[Rienchen]

Thank you all for the links to message boards and groups.
I haven't been able to stop reading....I read through all(!) of the 'Story about you' journals over the weekend and I think adopting it's a beautiful thing to do.

I am only 23 years old, but from a very young age it was clear to me(one of my friends was adopted) that I would want to adopt even if I could have biological children.

I have to find out about regulations and costs back home in Europe...

Are all of you adopting because of infertility or to 'save a child' and give it a save home...(if you don't mind me asking)?

have a great day

Marina

 

[scarlett873]

My husband and I have always discussed international adoption. It's something that we have both always been drawn to...however, I will be honest. We had always intended to do at least one international adoption, but we assumed that would happen after we had a few children biologically. But we have gone through some fertility issues and after several negative pregnancy tests and realizing that we could be pouring thousands of dollars into more advanced fertility treatments with no guarantee of being able to have children, we decided to put that money towards adoption instead. At the end of the adoption, we know that there will be a little one to call us mommy and daddy!

 

[mickeyboat]

My husband and I have always discussed international adoption. It's something that we have both always been drawn to...however, I will be honest. We had always intended to do at least one international adoption, but we assumed that would happen after we had a few children biologically. But we have gone through some fertility issues and after several negative pregnancy tests and realizing that we could be pouring thousands of dollars into more advanced fertility treatments with no guarantee of being able to have children, we decided to put that money towards adoption instead. At the end of the adoption, we know that there will be a little one to call us mommy and daddy!

and good luck to all of you adoptive parents. DH and I faced infertility for quite some time, and I am not sure we would have made the same choice. Good for you!

DH's cousin spent thousands of dollars for infertility treatments, even going so far as selling one of their cars, without success. They finally decided to adopt from Russia, and six months after they brought Alec home, they found out they were PG.

I can't wait to hear about all of your babies coming home!

Denae