Adoption Updates

[scubamouse]

My husband and I have always discussed international adoption. It's something that we have both always been drawn to...however, I will be honest. We had always intended to do at least one international adoption, but we assumed that would happen after we had a few children biologically. But we have gone through some fertility issues and after several negative pregnancy tests and realizing that we could be pouring thousands of dollars into more advanced fertility treatments with no guarantee of being able to have children, we decided to put that money towards adoption instead. At the end of the adoption, we know that there will be a little one to call us mommy and daddy!

you sound just like us - we were 'planning' to have a bio kid and then adopt. for us it happened the other way around. and we had the same idea about the $ for IVF vs adoption. our DS was born in Russia and our bio DD showed up 8 mos after he did!

best of luck to you!!!!

 

[scarlett873]

Thank you!

We haven't given up on having one biologically...just not thinking about it so much! I don't even know who our DD is yet, but I already love her so so so much! I can't wait until we get to begin this process and bring her home!

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Are all of you adopting because of infertility or to 'save a child' and give it a save home...(if you don't mind me asking)?

I don't mind your asking at all. First and foremost, we adopted because we wanted to expand our family. We chose adoption because we were having fertility problems which would have required a lot of intervention for only about a 50% chance of conceiving. We determined that we would likely reach our goal of bringing a new child into our family sooner if we adopted, rather than going the infertility treatment route, and we think that we did.

Our little cutie girl was adopted domestically and just turned 3.

 

[RUDisney]

We knew that we wanted a boy and a girl. We knew that neither one of us had any desire to participate in a delivery room. We had been married for 7 years and I finally said to him that we have always wanted a family and since neither of us wanted to do it the "traditional" way, why can't we adopt? 8 months later, 7 months after we formally started the process, we had our boy and girl... perfect for us... 6 and 5 years old, respectively. Walking, talking and potty trained... it was the perfect fit for our family.

We still want no part of a delivery room and take precautions against having to go there.

Marina, I just love your name! It is the middle name we picked for our DD.

 

[Kim in TN]

Thank you all for the links to message boards and groups.
I haven't been able to stop reading....I read through all(!) of the 'Story about you' journals over the weekend and I think adopting it's a beautiful thing to do.

I am only 23 years old, but from a very young age it was clear to me(one of my friends was adopted) that I would want to adopt even if I could have biological children.

I have to find out about regulations and costs back home in Europe...

Are all of you adopting because of infertility or to 'save a child' and give it a save home...(if you don't mind me asking)?

have a great day

Marina

I don't mind you asking at all, we chose adoption because it was something I always felt like I wanted to do and like you even at a young age. Then I met DH and his mother was adopted we knew it was meant to be, so when we decided to start our family we would start with adoption and go from there. 9 years later we started we started our adoption process. It has been perfect for us.

 

[Sandy22]

Are all of you adopting because of infertility or to 'save a child' and give it a save home...(if you don't mind me asking)?

Hi Marina, I can't speak for others but in my opinion, most, if not all, adoptive parents don't do it to "save a child". While that may be a very positive "side effect", the primary motivation should be fairly selfish: because you want a child! Most homestudy evaluations will ask you questions on your motivation to adopt so it's important to be clear on why you want to adopt.

If you adopt based on the motivation to save a child you'll quickly discover that your child won't be grateful to you for "saving" him (nor do you want your child to feel he owes you for saving him).

My guess would be that wanting to "save" a child is a fleeting emotion. It's great for people who want to volunteer or to donate money. In order to adopt, you should want to "parent" and love a child. JMHO

 

[happybratpack]

My social worker was finally able to get a response from the USCIS office here, my case was approved on 2-4-06 and the elusive I-171H (almost 8 weeks of waiting now) should be here anyday!!! SO...this translates into if I can get to be DTC with current timelines I should be traveling in May. A long time, but at least the end is in sight!

Hope everyone else is doing ok!

 

[kdibattista]

My social worker was finally able to get a response from the USCIS office here, my case was approved on 2-4-06 and the elusive I-171H (almost 8 weeks of waiting now) should be here anyday!!! SO...this translates into if I can get to be DTC with current timelines I should be traveling in May. A long time, but at least the end is in sight!

Hope everyone else is doing ok!

YEAH!!!!!

 

[Sandy22]

My social worker was finally able to get a response from the USCIS office here, my case was approved on 2-4-06 and the elusive I-171H (almost 8 weeks of waiting now) should be here anyday!!! SO...this translates into if I can get to be DTC with current timelines I should be traveling in May. A long time, but at least the end is in sight!

Hope everyone else is doing ok!

Yay! It's so nice to have a travel date in sight!

I'm just waiting for passports and then my girls can travel home. It should be within a month!

 

[happybratpack]

Yay! It's so nice to have a travel date in sight!

I'm just waiting for passports and then my girls can travel home. It should be within a month!

Hey! I just PM'd you then saw this!!

YAY for you guys! You must be SO excited, I can't wait to hear everyone is at home!!

 

[scarlett873]

Yay!!!! That's wonderful news for both of you!!!

HBP...I know you have been waiting for what seems like an eternity to bring Lily home!

YAY!!!!!!!

 

[RUDisney]

To pass the time while we were waiting to travel, I started packing on my DS's bed. I'd go in and pack, and then repack as I bought something new. It sounds strange, probably, but it made me feel like I had control over some part of the travel plans.

I'm so glad that you will finally be with Lily in May!!!

May I also suggest, if you haven't done so already, start to ask people what they recommend that you "must have" when you go. People told us to make sure we had our own towels because Russian ones were so tiny and thin. We also needed to take TP. A scented candle came in handy when we were in the grossest smoking room ever. The curtains were stained from all of the cigarettes that were smoked in that room. Will you need to pack or purchase a fan when you get there for lack of A/C?

People who have already been there/done that can make recommendations to you. Also, don't forget a good multi-vitamin because you may not like all of the food that is served to you. It'll help keep up your stamina. Ooh, and some dental gum, like arm and hammer, for after that very long flight that you'll take, or brush ups when you can't use a real toothbrush. These didn't exist when we traveled.

I am so excited for you!!!

 

[happybratpack]

It's a MIRACLE!!!! 55 days from fingerprinting, but it's here!

I'm packing it all up to Fed-Ex to Austin tomorrow, then Houston next week! I'm so relieved!

 

[scarlett873]

YAY!!!!! May Lily be able to come home soon!!!!!!


Well, we had some good news! DH got his bonus and it was more than he expected! I was all excited and nervous yesterday about it. I kept thinking...this is it!! We can start the process!! But my nerves kept getting the best of me. I want nothing more than to get the show on the road, but I'm worried about bills. We have a bit of debt...and this bonus would wipe out a BUNCH of it which would, in turn, allow us to begin saving money and then enable me to stay home after we bring her home to us. Well...now we're faced with the dilemma...pay the bills first, save some money, and then start the process...or say to hell with it and begin the adoption process? I think my responsible side is winning out.

Not all is lost though...if we can put a serious dent in our bills, there's still a chance that we could get out dossier out to China by December. It would only put us back by about 6-8 months, I think. I know in my head that it's the right thing to do...but would someone please explain that to my heart?

 

[kdibattista]

YAY!!!!! May Lily be able to come home soon!!!!!!


Well, we had some good news! DH got his bonus and it was more than he expected! I was all excited and nervous yesterday about it. I kept thinking...this is it!! We can start the process!! But my nerves kept getting the best of me. I want nothing more than to get the show on the road, but I'm worried about bills. We have a bit of debt...and this bonus would wipe out a BUNCH of it which would, in turn, allow us to begin saving money and then enable me to stay home after we bring her home to us. Well...now we're faced with the dilemma...pay the bills first, save some money, and then start the process...or say to hell with it and begin the adoption process? I think my responsible side is winning out.

Not all is lost though...if we can put a serious dent in our bills, there's still a chance that we could get out dossier out to China by December. It would only put us back by about 6-8 months, I think. I know in my head that it's the right thing to do...but would someone please explain that to my heart?

That's what is going to make you a wonderful mommy!!!! I know it's soooo hard. Good luck

 

[RUDisney]

Brandie, remember, there is a $10,000 tax credit per child adopted. That is a credit right to the bottom line of your income taxes. That means that if you are supposed to get $120 back, you now get $10,120 back.

I don't want to cloud your issues, but this is something to consider, too, when you are trying to decide when the time is right to start the process. We only got $5,000 back per child, (pre-January 1, 2002) but when we got an $11,000 refund, it surely helped reduce the home equity loan that we took to fund all of the costs.

 

[ZachnElli]

My social worker was finally able to get a response from the USCIS office here, my case was approved on 2-4-06 and the elusive I-171H (almost 8 weeks of waiting now) should be here anyday!!! SO...this translates into if I can get to be DTC with current timelines I should be traveling in May. A long time, but at least the end is in sight!

Hope everyone else is doing ok!

Congrats!!! I'm so happy for you!!!

 

[ZachnElli]

Are all of you adopting because of infertility or to 'save a child' and give it a save home...(if you don't mind me asking)?

have a great day

Marina

We have 2 bio children and our baby is adopted. We talked about adopting before we ever had bio children. I didn't get pg easily, so we always knew it would be our next step, not extra fertility measures. I ended up having 6 miscarriages and the doctor's were stumped, said I needed to move on to IVF with genetic testing. I handed them my adoption medical form (you have to have one of these filled out to prove you are healthy enough to adopt). I can honestly say there is no difference in the love I feel for my bio children and my adopted one. Adoption has truly taught me what love really is and all it can be!

 

[ZachnElli]

Scarlett, I would totally go for it! I'm too impatient and my heart is always louder than my head! But that's just me, you do what you need to do.

 

[happybratpack]

Scarlett, I would totally go for it! I'm too impatient and my heart is always louder than my head! But that's just me, you do what you need to do.

See, this would be my reply too.

I know you'll make the right choice...if you decide to wait then that's what is meant to be and if you go for it now then there's a reason to!

(I hope that made sense, I've been up all night wired about my paperwork!)

Good luck, keep us updated!!