We adopted two older children. They were 5 and 6 when we made them ours. We knew that older children fit better into our lifestyle than a baby would and we have no regrets. The only time it was hard was when my DS had to take in a baby picture for school. All of the kids were supposed to guess of whom every baby picture was taken. We sent in the first picture we ever saw of him, but he was of course, disappointed that everyone knew which picture was of him.
In foreign adoptions, it is really no harder or easier to select an older child vs. an infant. There are regulations in each country concerning how old a child can be before foreigners are allowed to adopt from that country, but that is the only difference that we saw.
The thing we liked about our adoption was that our agency brought a group of children over to this country during the summer. We got to kick the kids' tires and they got to kick ours, so to speak. Although we knew immediately that we had our family together, others found that some of the children just didn't mesh with their family, whereas other ones did. For example, the CEO of a major cable network wanted to adopt. She hosted a child in NYC and at her CT home. The boy just hated the city life. He wanted to be a country boy and even the CT home was to suburban for his liking. He was relocated to a farm with horses and he had found his forever family. Others found that the psychological issues of the child were too much for them to handle and had to find a different child. Others wanted special needs children because they had the time, patience and money to help that child. I hope I made my point about this well enough.
I don't have a site to give you that would say how many babies per children are looking for homes in each country. Sorry. I do know that I was told about Russia that a girl who becomes too old to stay in the orphanage any longer has a life expectancy of 19. A boy's is 26. The girl usually prostitutes herself and often dies of exposure because she is homeless. The boy will join the army but will die when he must fend for himself.
"Are there better places than others if one was looking for older children and not babies?" I think that depends on what you want and what will fit best in your family. We knew that we wanted to adopt from Russia because both DH and I have Russian roots. It was our commonality. Others know that they want to help a girl from China, while others want a child from Guatemala, or another Latin nation. Others want to adopt domestically. You need to go with what your heart tells you is right.
It is less expensive to adopt multiple children than only one. Basically, it is economies of scale that dictate this. If you are already paying the agency for one referral, they will typically discount the second one. The agency we used didn't charge for referrals of 3 or more children. Additionally, you only have to pay to travel once. Friends of ours who adopted one child went back to Russia for more. They could have only traveled once, but they hadn't decided that they wanted more children before that. Couple that with translator fees and it adds up. For our adoption, of 2 siblings, we spent about $27,000, but that includes the money we spent for our DS's hospitalization while in Moscow. Had we adopted them separately, we may have paid $40,000.
Thank heavens for home equity loans! Ours sure helped us to start our family!
Don't feel bad about asking any questions here! We still get referrals from our agency all the time so we can tell potential parents our story and to answer their questions.
Scubamouse, from what region in Russia did you adopt?
In foreign adoptions, it is really no harder or easier to select an older child vs. an infant. There are regulations in each country concerning how old a child can be before foreigners are allowed to adopt from that country, but that is the only difference that we saw.
The thing we liked about our adoption was that our agency brought a group of children over to this country during the summer. We got to kick the kids' tires and they got to kick ours, so to speak. Although we knew immediately that we had our family together, others found that some of the children just didn't mesh with their family, whereas other ones did. For example, the CEO of a major cable network wanted to adopt. She hosted a child in NYC and at her CT home. The boy just hated the city life. He wanted to be a country boy and even the CT home was to suburban for his liking. He was relocated to a farm with horses and he had found his forever family. Others found that the psychological issues of the child were too much for them to handle and had to find a different child. Others wanted special needs children because they had the time, patience and money to help that child. I hope I made my point about this well enough.
I don't have a site to give you that would say how many babies per children are looking for homes in each country. Sorry. I do know that I was told about Russia that a girl who becomes too old to stay in the orphanage any longer has a life expectancy of 19. A boy's is 26. The girl usually prostitutes herself and often dies of exposure because she is homeless. The boy will join the army but will die when he must fend for himself.
"Are there better places than others if one was looking for older children and not babies?" I think that depends on what you want and what will fit best in your family. We knew that we wanted to adopt from Russia because both DH and I have Russian roots. It was our commonality. Others know that they want to help a girl from China, while others want a child from Guatemala, or another Latin nation. Others want to adopt domestically. You need to go with what your heart tells you is right.
It is less expensive to adopt multiple children than only one. Basically, it is economies of scale that dictate this. If you are already paying the agency for one referral, they will typically discount the second one. The agency we used didn't charge for referrals of 3 or more children. Additionally, you only have to pay to travel once. Friends of ours who adopted one child went back to Russia for more. They could have only traveled once, but they hadn't decided that they wanted more children before that. Couple that with translator fees and it adds up. For our adoption, of 2 siblings, we spent about $27,000, but that includes the money we spent for our DS's hospitalization while in Moscow. Had we adopted them separately, we may have paid $40,000.
Thank heavens for home equity loans! Ours sure helped us to start our family!
Don't feel bad about asking any questions here! We still get referrals from our agency all the time so we can tell potential parents our story and to answer their questions.
Scubamouse, from what region in Russia did you adopt?
