Adoption Updates

[lynetteSC]

Yeah! We had our 1st anniversary GOTCHA DAY 10/11! I am happy you are going to be finalized soon!

We have a court date!!!! Oct 28th we will finalize Noah's adoption!!!

 

[RUDisney]

Ooh! So many October Gotcha's!

Congratulations on your first Gotcha Day, Lynette! Didn't the time just fly?

 

[lynetteSC]

yes mam! It goes by too quick! Last nite, ds woke in the middle of the nite ... very unusual! I don't mind when he does do that, because it is about the only time he lets me cuddle anymore ... I know I cuddle much longer than neccesary!

 

[scarlett873]

Congrats on the court date for Noah!!! How very exciting!!!

 

[russtwinsmom]

Congratulations on Noah's big day! That date will be a celebration for you for the rest of your lives!

 

[ZachnElli]

Thanks everyone! We are so happy and excited! This is happening just 5 days before my b-day, I couldn't ask for a better gift!!

 

[scarlett873]

We received our adoption info packet from our agency. They sent along a DVD to watch...I was fine through the whole thing, until they showed the personal family stories...OMG the tears wouldn't stop!!! lol






I'll be a blubbery mess when it's time for our Gotcha Day!

 

[RUDisney]

I cannot put into words how I felt when we were driving to meet our children for the first time. I was nervous, my hands were actually shaking. I was excited. I was happy. It was just such a bundle of emotions that words cannot describe the feeling exactly. I remember asking my DH how he felt while we were on that highway and he felt exactly the same way I did.

And, when people say you just 'know' that everything is forever when you first lay eyes on your new child, they are right. We were told that Kristina wasn't affectionate. When we got to our house, she wouldn't let me put her down. She just wanted to keep hugging me. She knew and felt it, too.

 

[POB14]

Sorry, work got the better of me for a while there.

I've had a couple of requests for our adoption stories, so I'll do this in installments. Let me know if you want me to keep going or not.

ADOPTION STORY ONE: Chasing Colleen
Part I: Before the beginning

We always knew bio babies were pretty much out of the question; it took us a long time to decide whether we wanted kids or not. One day we went to an Irish dancing feis, and looking at some little girls all dressed up for the dance, I said, "Think it would be nice to have one of those?"

Well, that was all the encouragement DW needed. Off we went to the Barnes and Noble and surveyed the (rather limited, at that time) selections on adoption. DW picked up a book on international adoption, and said those now-famous words:

Well, we know we don't want to do this!

Bzzzt! Thanks for playing. Don, tell her about her lovely parting gifts . . .

but I get ahead of myself.

I went to an informational meeting at an agency. (If it sounds from time to time like I was doing this myself, that's because DW was in law school at the time. Not exactly a procedure I'd recommend, but hey, it worked.) They explained the open adoption system. How we'd have to put together a book about ourselves, how great we are, and how the child would have silver spoons and 100-thread-count silk toilet paper. How we would be presented to various birthmoms, and how they might pick us out. And how, in worst case scenario, one couple was chosen by a birthmom, who (as is her legal right) later backed out of the deal, after the baby was born.
Did I mention this happened to the couple four times?

Now, my comments above represent my feelings at the time. I have nothing against people who are able to make domestic adoption work for them. We've seen it work, and it's great too. But it wasn't for us.

So we researched, and researched, and we decided on China. Why?
1) The system was, and is, very cut and dried. There IS a child at the end of the process for you.
2) China, at that time, was one of the few available programs for older couples. ("Older" being "over 35.")
3) DW had travelled in the South Pacific and felt connections to Asia.
4) Our daughter was there. This one sounds stupid, if you haven't done it, but at a certain point in the process, you just become convinced that you already have a Chinese daughter, and the whole thing is just about finding out who she is. I don't know why, but it happens to almost everybody.


Next time, if anyone's interested: Homestudy and paperchasing.

 

[bubie2.5]

This is a great thread.

 

[RUDisney]

Homestudy and paperchasing.

I'm looking forward to this side of your story. Ours felt like legalized and bureaucratic rape... worth it in the end, but it felt like forever during the process. Oh, BTW... Russia only processes adoption work on Wednesday. If they miss you this week, maybe they'll get to your work next week.

 

[Tantorini]

wow.. RUDisney.. what region did you adopt from?

Our region, Kaliningrad, processed adoption paperwork on every day of the week..

Granted they take a lot of time off.. to celebrate.. holidays, vacations.. etc...

We had a really great, smooth, happy process.. but it is sort of like dealing with different states.. each region has it's own way of doing things!

 

[RUDisney]

We adopted from Bryansk. That is 220 miles SW of Moscow on the Kievskaya train line. They do things in Bryansk like my old Russian grandmother did... Tuesday is laundry, Wednesday is ironing, Thursday is dusting and vacuuming, etc. and you can't deviate from that schedule.

We only got burned once by the Wednesday thing. One of the Russian workers who was supposed to get signatures on a form for us didn't get all of them on the Wednesday that they were due. We had to wait for the next week to get the signature and then for the following week for the document to be processed.

You're right about the holidays and vacations! They get a ton of time off compared to us work-a-holic Americans.

Our region had a 10-day waiting period that you basically needed an act of God to get out of. It really serves no purpose other than to show you that they are in charge of the process. Other regions had no waiting period. The best part was that we got custody of our kids immediately after our court hearing because our orphanage director had been in our home and liked us. Our translator was shocked by this because it was just unheard of. She even let us borrow coats for the kids because we were planning to buy some there instead of taking LLBean jackets with us. I didn't think my DD would go over too well in bright pink. So, what color did we buy for her? Bright yellow! So much for trying to be subtle!

 

[Tantorini]

wow.. yeah our regions operated totally differently..

Kaliningrad (where our boys are from) is next to Poland.. it's not actually attached to mainland Russia..

It operates more western than a lot of regions (or so I've been told, and read!)... our 10day wait was waived.. which we were very glad for..

It's such an amazing experience.. in some ways the 10day wait would have been okay by me.. as I could have soaked in more of the culture.. but I guess two trips in two months... is more than most people make to russia!

 

[scarlett873]

Just a slight bump!!

Any news to report anyone?

 

[happybratpack]

I'm supposed to be getting new pics of Lily next week, I can't wait!!!

 

[pokiemomo181]

I love this thread. I am adopted so it has a special meaning to me. I hope all your dreams come true, and your children are home with you soon.

Pokie

 

[scubamouse]

We adopted our son from Russia 4 years ago. He's perfect in every way and handsome as all get out. We are so so blessed.

We also have a bio daughter, she arrived 8 mos after we got She's perfect too

there now go ahead and say that everyone who adopts gets p/g right after - i double dog dare you to

 

[RUDisney]

My DS asked me yesterday, "when are we going to WDW this week?" I asked him, "what makes you think we're going to WDW this week?" He said, "Our Gotcha Day is Saturday. We always go to WDW for our Gotcha Day!" I told him that we're not going this year since it is an even Gotcha Day. Maybe we'll be able to go next year for our 5th.

I like this tradition that we started!

 

[cardaway]

Hello folks.

I am totally new to anything adoption related so I'm sorry if I duplicate anything already discussed or ask any question that is common knowledge to the rest of you.

We are thinking about adopting, but not a baby, more like an older child.

These are my questions if anybody is out there that can help.

Is it true that it would be easier to adopt older children rather than babies?

Are there stats out there that say approx how many older children are out there looking for a home?

Are there better places than others if one was looking for older children and not babies?

What is the approx cost to adopt one older child or a pair of realted children?

If you have done this I would love to hear from you.

Thanks in advance.