Adoption Updates

[skoi]

I lost Lily two weeks before traveling to China due to a dirty and unethical agency. I'd suggest checking all the different Yahoo groups and really digging into the past of the agency and the principals that run it. Check the financials, past parents experiences, BBB reports, ANYTHING to get a full grasp on how they really are. You can't take too many precautions.

Just my .02.

And I'd like to add that even if you don't hear a lot of bad things on the internet-- like the country specific boards-- there's a reason.Some are owned and moderated by agencies. That's why you hear so many good Kaz stories. Some agencies even "spy" on boards that are set up strictly for adoptive and prospective adoptive parents-- boards which clearly don't want agencies because they want people to feel free to exchange info without the fear of retribution. Our Kaz agency did that to us. We complained about them on a restricted board and they quoted what I said word for word in a letter to me. And this was one of the "big three" Kaz agencies that has such a good reputation.

People are very reluctant to complain during the process for fear of not getting a child. Then once they go through all the garbage and get home with their child- they don't want to deal with it anymore. One of the families who had problems like we do fall into that category. They had a really bad time, but they don't care now that they're home.

I've heard more bad stories about Kaz in general and our agency in particular since I started to speak out about our issues. Never heard a negative peep before. I think people just wait for someone else to go first. Now I worry, because we're adopting again, and I'd hate our new agency to think we were malcontents, but I think it's important that people are honest that bad things can and do happen.

Sorry for the vent, but this is an especially irritating topic to me.

 

[happybratpack]

HappyBratPack,
I am so happy to see you here! I sent you a private PM last year but never heard back. I assume it was too close at the time. I just want to say I am so sorry about losing Lily. I hope that someday you can move on and possible adopt a child. Obviously from another agency than the one you dealt with. I am curious did they ever offer you another child (not that you wanted one!)
God Bless you
Heidi

I'm sorry about that. To be honest, I pretty much hit rock bottom at that point and kind of dropped away from life in general.

I sued the agency with no luck except running up a ton of legal fees for myself. The contracts they all use pretty much protect them in any situation and the parents don't have much in the way of rights. Since she was a waiting child and assigned to that specific agency I had no option but to use them even though I had already heard some inklings of trouble. Bad judgement on my part. Unfortunately since this happened to me they have done it to a couple other single women as well. Just horrible.

I have been lucky enough to build a relationship with her nannies at the orphanage who update me on how she's doing. I've been able to send care packages and such as well. It helps to know I can do something for her. I'm not going to pursue another adoption.

Congrats to everyone on their progress! I'm sorry I haven't been visiting here much but I'm finally to the point where I can again. I look forward to following along with everyone.

 

[kdibattista]

Julie and Maryanne... so nice to "see" you!!!!!!

Julie - how is the process going for you? When we are ready to go to China I want to pick your brain because I think we are going to go the older child and/or special needs route. I haven't been in the loop for awhile.

Maryanne - I hope you are doing well... I can't imagine the heartbreak you went through and the fact that you still keep in contact is a testament to what an amazing woman you are. I wish you all the best in the world

 

[freakylick]

Just found this thread. My husband and I are starting the process to adopt from Ethiopia. Our agency contracts will go in the mail tomorrow as well as our homestudy agency application. Praying for a baby boy by christmas 2008.

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

Congratulations!! We were in your place about this time last year (we started just after the New Year), and our son has been home with us from Ethiopia since July. It's been amazing. What agency are you using?

 

[freakylick]

Congratulations!! We were in your place about this time last year (we started just after the New Year), and our son has been home with us from Ethiopia since July. It's been amazing. What agency are you using?

Thanks we are signed on with All Gods Children for our adoption. For our homestudy we are applying to holy cross. AGCI cant do our homestudy because they dont have an office in our state.

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

Well, we're very close to getting our embassy appointment. The week we got out we got the final birthmom signature, BC, the following week we were able to get her passport, and her 2nd DNA done. Phew! It should be at the lab tomorrow, they will (hopefully) start testing on Monday-Tuesday, and send back out on Wednesday.. Praying very hard the Embassy issues us our appointment this week before their vacation. Our 171H is expiring on January 10th, and so we're hoping for an appt bump & a senator to help!

We're leaving on the 30th (!!!!!!) and ringing in the new year with our beautiful daughter in Guatemala!

 

[monami7]

Congratulations Everyone!
I love watching as the new families come together!
Heidi
Home with Rory (China) and Lilly (Haiti) for Christmas this year!

 

[skoi]

We got our letter of confirmation from China, which means we're approved for "new little brother" as the kids call him. Hopefully, we'll be able to be there and back again before Chinese New Year- beginning of February.

 

[monami7]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! What a great Christmas present!
Heidi

 

[Tink561]

We got our letter of confirmation from China, which means we're approved for "new little brother" as the kids call him. Hopefully, we'll be able to be there and back again before Chinese New Year- beginning of February.

That is wonderful!!!!! Congratulations.

 

[skoi]

We got our travel permission from China. Now, our agency has to make our consulate appointment and they're hoping to squeeze us in the last day they're open before Chinese NY- Feb 4. So we could be leaving the end of Jan to get New Little Brother.

 

[RUDisney]

Here's lifting a celebratory glass of champagne and toasting to all going well for your new arrival!

 

[redshoes]

Happy New Year's Everyone .

I was hoping that I could get a little advice or at least a nudge in the right direction from everyone.

Here's my background stuff- I have two little boys who DH and I adopted at five days old. They are my greatest gifts and my DH and I are honored to be their parents.

And with all of the out of the way, we want to adopt again. We adopted our boys from a local agency. Because of changes and a not so warm and fuzzy experience with our last adoption we are agency shopping. There are a ton different options out there and I'm looking for some first hand information.

We want to adopt domestically if at all possible. We live in a very adoption friendly state and because of this there is a shortage of younger children that are available for adoption through the state. We don't want to change the birth order in our house and because of that foster care adoption through our state is pretty much out of the question.

Please give me your opinions about agencies that you have work with or have had experience with. Thank you so much.

 

[Mischa]

Just wanted to wish you all who are adopting the best of luck and congrats!

We were never lucky enough to be able to adopt (either internationally or domestic). The cost was way too much (especially after using our savings up on trying to have a baby) and most of the agencies we contacted wouldn't talk to us because there was more than 10 years age difference between DH & I.

Happy New Year!

 

[ZachnElli]

redshoes, we used CASI in 2005 when we adopted our son and we loved them! Their website is www.adoptcasi.org. Good luck!

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

skoi - Congratulations!!!!!!

redshoes - No agency advice (we adopted internationally), just wanted to wish you luck.

It was 1 year ago today that dh and I officially began our adoption journey. Our ds arrived home 7-7-07 and the past months have just been a joy. I cannot imagine our family without him.

Wishing all the adoptive and pre-adoptive families out there a great New Year!!

 

[1rockinmamato2]

Just wanted to wish you all who are adopting the best of luck and congrats!

We were never lucky enough to be able to adopt (either internationally or domestic). The cost was way too much (especially after using our savings up on trying to have a baby) and most of the agencies we contacted wouldn't talk to us because there was more than 10 years age difference between DH & I.

Happy New Year!

I'm sorry you hit a wall with your adoption process. We chose a local faith-based agency to do our domestic adoptions. They were great, wouldn't have had an issue like yours with the ages and charged us on a sliding scale . After filing taxes for 2007, we will have received all but about $3,000 back for DS's adoption and all of the expenses for DD's adoption (the agency took pity on us financially since we found out bmom was pregnant again when DS was 4 months and she wanted to place again). Yes, we had to come up with the money beforehand and the interest on our line of credit was killer, but at least it was an option for us.

We finally finalized DD's adoption two weeks ago and that was another $1,200 out of our pocket. It was all well worth it of course, but stacked on top of the debt we'd already incurred with 10 years of infertility treatments it has been difficult. So, I can understand the financial issues with adopting. Most people don't arrive at the adoption agency debt-free if they've already been trying to conceive for quite some time.

Hugs to you!

 

[1rockinmamato2]

I've tried scanning this massive thread to see if there were any domestic adoptive parents like myself here. I haven't seen any, so I just wanted to do a shout out to see if any of you were around?

We're in an open adoption with our children's birthmother (they are biological siblings).

I'd love to chat with some of you.

Congrats to all of you potential and current adoptive parents. This process was a long, hard road. But, oh so worth every minute of it in the end.

 

[ZachnElli]

1rockingmamato2, We adopted domestically in 2005. I agree most of the thread is about international. I still read it though. We have a semi-open adoption with DS's birthparents. I send pictures and letters every six months to the adoption agency and they forward them. I have told them I am open to the birthparents sending us the same (or anything), but haven't received anything from them. They are not together, but the birthdad did say he wanted updates too.