Hello! Newbie to this thread.
May I ask a question or two? I freely admit that I have not yet taken the time to read through all 57 pages of this thread.
DH & I would like to adopt a girl (boys are great, but we have 3). We have looked at three different agencies. Our questions is why are there different guidelines.
For example, we considered Kyrgyzstan (with what I'll call Agency 1). But we were told we had exceeded the age limit of 45 years for a younger child. But another agency (Agency 2) doesn't seem to list that as a barrier.
Then we considered Kazakhstan. Same age limit thing there with Agency 3. Not a problem with Agencies 1 & 2 for that country.
I told my dh that we could take the chance, go with Agency 1 or 2 go over to Kazakhstan (being away from our sons for three weeks or more) and I still believe that there's a chance that the officials in Almaty would tell us that we had to take an older child.
Not that there is anything wrong with an older child. But I could have gone with Agency 1 or 2 to Kyrgyzstan for a MUCH shorter time period and gotten a same age child.
Truthfully, we would prefer a younger child (less than 1 year old) but perhaps that is not to be. And Agency 1 states that the child (in Kazakhstan) would be closer to 8 months. Agencies 2 & 3 say the children would be over a year.
So what am I actually asking? Good question ~ LOL!
I guess like I said at the beginning, why are there different restrictions with different agencies?
And is there anyway I could find some definitive set of rules for each country?
We get that the rules changes overnight and without warning. But we would just appreciate some guidance on this.
And for what it's worth, we did consider China. But at the rate things are moving (we have friends in the process) we figured we'd be out of luck with their new guidelines.
Did any of this make sense? Consider that a rhetorical question that doesn't require an answer.
Any kind of a response and/or advice though would be appreciated.
Thanks.
I think the US State Dept website lists the laws or at least gives links to the laws of each country. Try that.
We had a BAD/AWFUL/HIDEOUS agency experience when we adopted. But we knew others who had great experiences with agencies. Here is what I learned.
Some agencies will lie to your face. Others are extremely ethical. Many are somewhere in between. Don't depend on them to tell you the facts about the law. Research it yourself so that you recognize when you're being told the truth and when you're not.
This is how our alarm bells went off so early in the process. It allowed me the opportunity to begin documenting the "inconsistencies" and "inaccuracies" and that is what helped me get a refund as compared to the majority of people who rarely get money back when their adoptions go south. It also helped that we got out early when we were only in for a few thousand dollars, as opposed to $20,000-ish. Knowing the law also allowed me recognize when someone was telling me the TRUTH, and this helped us select a new, more ethical route to adoption.
You might visit
www.frua.org (Friends of Russian and Ukrainian Adoption) for some help. They actually have members adopting from many EE countries, not just Russia and Ukraine. If they can't help you, they can probably direct you to someone who can.
As to the age limit for you as parents and the age of the child you can adopt, here's my 2 cents. Many countries have hard and fast rules regarding this. Then again, some countries have "guidelines." An agency with a good relationship to a particular orphanage, for example, may be able to routinely get the youngest babies available for its clients. Another agency, using an orphanage just a few km down the road, may only be able to get infants once in a blue moon and they'll tell you to expect children of about 18 months, etc., because they know that is THEIR reality. So maybe they are BOTH telling you the truth.....THEIR truth. Check FRUA and ask for anonymous client feedback.
When we were adopting, there was one agency that had the reputation of "getting the youngest babies in 6 months" and they deserved that reputation. Even 5-8 years ago, that adoption would cost $35,000 easy, but you would have that 6-8 month old EE baby in half a year. (We didn't use them, BTW, but knew plenty who did.) When you weren't supposed to be able to legally get infants from Ukraine unless they had certain medical problems, their clients regularly came home with young, healthy Ukrainian infants. Russian adoptions in particular are much more difficult than they were in the past, and that agency can no longer pull off that hat trick. And eventually, Ukraine had a shutdown to deal with this issue.
So....there is the law in theory and there is the law in practice. Sometimes they are identical. Sometimes they are not. Some agencies, no matter how slick they are, cannot circumvent a government that requires them to play by the rules and treats everyone equally. But if a government is not so rigid, then the more adept agencies will have found ways to use this flexibility to their advantage.....and often, to their clients' advantage.
So find out what the actual law is by checking out websites like the the State Dept. website and then visit sites like FRUA to ask adoption veterans what they have experienced. You can ask questions about the country in general and even about specific agencies.
A word of warning: If someone is in the middle of an adoption and it's going terribly, you cannot expect them to publicly post too much identifying info. They may want to help you, but are so invested in getting their child home that they will not do anything to risk messing that up. So expect occasional vagueness and refusal to ID themselves.
Please don't take this post as an attempt to scare you off. I'm a big advocate of international adoption. I'm also a big advocate of educating yourself so that you cannot be taken advantage of. The stakes are too high. Really, the same can be said for domestic adoption. No one will look out for YOU better than YOU.
Best of luck!
I still can't stop looking at her picture!
). years later dh's friend went to a u.s military recruiting center to get information on enlisting. when the enlisting personnel reviewed the birth info. on dh's friend they asked if he had taken formal action to renounce his citizenship in the country of his birth. he had not. he was told and provided with documentation that had he ever or were he to travel to that country as a young man he could be denied exit until such time as that country deemed he had fufilled his military obligation. the u.s. military was aware of the country's practices because they had encountered some incidents where enlisted young men with similar birth circumstances had been assigned to that country and there had been legal battles as to the who (which country) absent of an existing renouncement of citizenship had military service rights. the u.s. military was clear in stating that some foreign countries have absolutly no problem with inducting non native speakers into their military-and that they relish inducting fluent english speakers.
We started the process 1-1-07 and he's been home since 7-7-07. I loved our agency and also learned through research and time in country about some more I wouldn't hesitate to use. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have. 
. I look forward to getting back to the adoption process once things settle down and I miss you all 
